Creative Play for Tiny Tots

This is a post or parts from an article that I found awhile go and figure I would post it however, I am not sure who to give credit for this but it is awesome!

Art Play: Three Ways to Encourage Tiny Tot Art
Scribbling, painting, and molding clay are enormously satisfying for little ones. Here's how to inspire your baby's inner van Gogh.
It's never too soon to start encouraging artistic expression. Even tiny babies love looking at pictures — and by the time that first birthday approaches they're ready to make some art of their own. Here are some ideas on how to get those creative juices flowing:
Ready, set, scribble. Sure, it's simple but scribbling is tremendously satisfying for your pint-size Picasso. To make things easier, tape the paper to a table, the floor, or an easel to keep it from sliding around, especially during those passionate bursts of creativity. Once art time is over, make sure you put away all crayons and markers to minimize the chance of a renegade wall mural. One more thing: Stick to nontoxic washable crayons and fat markers at this age since pens and pencils could result in a poke-in-the-eye injury.
Fabulous finger-paints. Finger-painting is like scribbling gone wild. There's the added fun of vibrant colors and of course, that ever-popular (not to mention messy) element, smushable goop. (Smock, please!) For those who prefer to keep their tiny hands a little bit cleaner, a short, thick-handled, wide-bristle paintbrush works just fine. Remember, there are no rules in finger-painting, other than using child-safe, nontoxic paints (and keeping those paints away from Mommy's bedspread). You might also try finger-paints that are specially made to use in the bath. Kids love 'em and the paint just rinses off the tub (and his tummy!).
Clay play. Though babies this age are too little to sculpt a recognizable figure, they'll love it if you make them a kitty, a car, or just a simple ball to play with. As with most artistic endeavors right now, this is all about the tactile experience. Most babies will love squishing, smashing, and smooshing clay or dough with their fists and fingers (and sure, some will likely end up in their hair or mouths — so make sure it's nontoxic).

Creative Play: Stimulating Your Baby's Imagination
Unleashing your baby's creativity is easy. Look around you — you'll find inspiration for fun, imaginative activities all over the house.
If you think creative play is all about pretend tea parties or portraits painted by pint-sized Picassos, think again. Pretty much any activity that’s unstructured and open-ended counts as creative play to a kid, helping her learn about the world (and those fascinating people and objects in it!) and how it works. That’s why the simplest games and toys (even using things around the house that don’t seem like playthings to you) can boost her sense of discovery. Take the living-room window, for instance. While you (and every other grown-up you know) take the view for granted, to a newborn it’s more like a window on the world. (Add a bird feeder and it’s infant-friendly reality TV!) So the next time your little one is alert, sit with her and point out the highlights (“Look at that squirrel! He’s trying to find a nut to eat!”).
What other ordinary household objects can captivate your little one? When she can sit up, she’ll delight in a drawer to explore (or a cabinet or shelf). Keep your plasticware and some lightweight pots and pans in a low cupboard in the kitchen and you’ll have a low-tech way of keeping baby amused while you’re cooking or washing up (“Look at that really nice square container and lid you’ve got there!”). Those plastic containers (along with a plastic cup and a set of measuring spoons) can travel to the bath for some tub-time water play, where they can become props for scientific experiments (“Let’s see how much water you can pour into this container!”) or some pretend cooking. And pots and lids do double-duty by letting your baby make music — there’s nothing like the sound of bangs and clashes to bring out your child’s inner composer. (You can sing along, too!)
When your mini-Mozart’s beautiful melodies become too much, wind down by finding a quiet spot and leaf through the photo album (“There’s Grandma holding you the day you came home!”). If you haven’t gotten around to printing your photos, don’t worry — if they’re on your computer, plop her on your lap and show them to her on your screen. Stimulate her creativity by showing her pics of the people she loves best, and then move on to photos of flowers or animals. Before you know it, she’ll be picking up a chunky crayon and scribbling pictures of her own — and that will give you another beautiful object to look at, talk about, and learn from.

Updates: Two Missions

Previous Missions:
UPDATE: Challenge/Mission Declutter 50 - LIVE
Decluttering 50 things out of the house or putting in their place each week or month depending on how productive I am.

Finally wrote out my list which I have scanned.




UPDATE: Challenge - Healthy Weight & Body
This requires me training for a direction or goal - in this case "Route 66 Mini-Marathon" in November with a friend AND incorporating biking and possibly swimming to lessen the pressure on my knees which is primarily why I need a health weight.

So far each week I do:
1) "body-pump" 2x (Tues & Thurs) for strength training
2) running (Mon - recovery run, Thurs - tempo or hill run (3-4 miles))
3) biking (Mon or Wed - biking 10-12 miles)
4) "stretching class" (pilates/yoga poses/stretching on Wed)
5) long runs (Fri or Sat or Sun)
6) next on the list is swimming (but that would be at 5am -- not ready for that yet)

Can you tell my routine changes once Fri hits? As long as I get most of that in, I'm ok but I have realized that my nutrition is the next step and the next change. Unfortunately, lately I have had these "Chocolate Caramel Apple Crunch" popcorn pieces starring at me & I have eaten them. :S But they were worth it. I'll just have to run more.

The Fall List O’ Fun

I took this idea from: Erin at Today's Mamas
Here is the list of activities, projects and recipes that we’re going to tackle this Fall at our house…
GOING
Visit a pumpkin patch…carve a wicked jack-o-lantern and roast those seeds.
Visit the Cornmaze here in Southern Indiana.
Going Trick'or Treating in a neighborhood (I'm Cleopatra this year I think & Ian - hmmmmm not sure yet)

COOKING
Making the simplest Taco Soup ever. (Well, Mark that is.)
Make pumpkin butter. Eat it with reckless abandon. http://www.flythroughourwindow.com/2009/10/page/2/
Introduce my boy to the joy and glory of hot cocoa. With mini marshmallows. I think we’ll do this the first day we see snowflakes, won’t that be fun?

DOING
Get my boy’s photo albums done. Photos shouldn’t live on a computer. I know this.
Get my Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving (&/or finish up on Black Friday).
Make felt garland for the Christmas tree.
Go outside and crunch in the leaves.
Ohio State Football Game in the Horseshoe against Penn State!!

Summer's Simple Pleasures: Reflecting on this Summer

This summer has been a little bit of a whirlwind as most summer's are I guess. Ian has went from my "eerrrr" "errrr" - sounding guy to "this, this" and "apple, manna?" and being able to let us know more and more what he would like to have. He is taller and had this first real injury that went beyond a scrap and bruise.

Mark and I are trying to navigate through different routines and every-changing relationship communication about various situations. It really is ever-changing. Some days have been way too hot to venture out and some days have been so gorgeous that I can barely contain myself. We haven't swam as much as I thought we would and really have not done too many "summery" things besides going to Cedar Point (Mark & I) and then running through some little fountains. I think Ian has gotten his summer "fix" with Ms. Ambra during weekdays - playing outsides on the slide, riding the little motorcycle and jumping into the little pool this has.

I haven't eaten any more sandwiches than usual, which growing up we had sandwiches every-single-day. We're getting back into running but didn't run in the extreme heat.

Stop the Splatter! How to Reclaim Your Attention and Get More Done

MY NOTE: I am beginning to believe more and more that how we use media is actually more debtrimental for us than the "learning" that we gain when we use it at non-productive times --- when we really should be having downtime - or when it would be beneficial to do so. With that, I don't think I will ever get a cell phone plan that has internet with it. Too much distraction.

This is an article by Christine Kane
Have you ever been at home all day when there's nothing in the fridge?
You open the door. You poke your head in. You hum a little tune and look around. You sigh. You grab a handful of pine nuts. You go back to your desk.
About an hour later, you're hungry.

So you go back to the fridge and look again. Nothing new has appeared. You pull out some black olives, put them on a saucer, and go back to your desk.

You think, "I should go out and get something to eat." But you don't. A part of you is convinced that a solution will appear. Maybe a Sous Chef will arrive at your door.

Amazingly, this doesn't happen. Eventually you're back at the fridge. You look in. Then, you close the door, reach up to the cereal cabinet and grab a handful of Kashi...

What happens in this scenario is that you eat all day, but you never feel satisfied. By 5pm, you're strung out, unfulfilled, and you wonder why.

Here's why:

You ate. But you never actually fed yourself. We do this exact same thing with our attention. We dabble in random things. But we never really commit to anything.

I call it Attention Splatter. It's when you mindlessly and half-heartedly splatter your attention on non-activities. But you never fully engage.

Remember this: Your attention ultimately feeds you. It feeds your heart and your mind. This is why it's so important to notice what you give your attention to. This is also why splattered attention leaves you unfulfilled. You never actually feed yourself.

The most common Attention Splatter culprits are:
* Email * Cell phones * Clutter * Internet
* Television
If you are prone to Attention Splatter, here are seven ways to feed yourself and get more done.

1 - Have no more than three priorities for the day. There's only so many things you can get done in a day and still enjoy the day. Get into the habit of spending five minutes each night deciding what one thing you want to get done the next day. Ask yourself, "If I only accomplish one thing tomorrow, which one thing would make me most happy?"

2 - Know the task before you sit down at the computer. This is a must. When you don't do this, you can get lost in the millions of non-items that any computer has to offer.
Assign tasks. (i.e. "Clean out email folders") Assign times. ("From 1pm to 2pm") Stop as soon as the end time arrives.

3 - Put an end to activities that leak. Make a list of "leaky" activities, and stop the leak by scheduling these activities. (As opposed to letting them take over your day.)
For instance, instead of letting email leak all over your day - all day every day - schedule email as an activity at a certain time each day. Every activity should have a home - a space for its completion. Otherwise, you set yourself up for a full day of splatter.

4 - Leverage your small slices of time. It's easy to look up at the clock and see that you have, say, 45 minutes before an appointment and think, "Well, I don't have time to do anything substantial. So, I guess I'll just go on line."
Turn your thinking around! Learn to fit constructive things in to small slices of time. It's amazing what you can complete in a short focused slice of time!

5 - Use your intention. Before you begin any activity, set an intention for that activity. Intend your desired outcome and how you want to feel during the activity. This is the ultimate act of creativity.

6 - Get rid of anything that doesn't feed you. Incoming emails, group emails, magazine subscriptions, news aggregate feeds, TiVo, memberships, unread books...

The list of incoming stuff goes on and on. Get your life in order. Get rid of anything that doesn't feed you. If you subscribe to it, ask yourself why. Start letting go of stuff. Doing this one thing has helped me create a home and office environment that is healthy and sacred. Be ruthless about keeping the incoming stuff to a minimum.

7 - Be present in your down-time. When you take a nap, take a nap. When you take a Saturday off, really take it off. Don't spend the day obsessing about the things you should be doing. Turn off the computer. Get out of your office. Go away.
Fully disengaging from all of it for fun is imperative. Plus, this will allow you to return with renewed energy and attention!

A Message

A Message to a Dear Friend,

I never thought of being a voice for freedom but that really resonates with me. I also found a quote as I was decluttering our kitchen this morning and it says "Inspire others to be their best by being your best." -- it was a Dove chocolate wrapper :)

I wonder if this isn't something God is really pressing on me letting me know that ultimately overcoming my own vices is once again...not about me and actually is attainable in this process I'm in the middle of. I see so many clients who are isolated in their own worlds and are not sharing their lives with others or allowing themselves to receive others' influence. It is only their own understanding and it is failing and not working.

your questions...
How are things going for you? What is on your mind most these days? How are things at church, home, work? Are you working now?
Things are going well when I take a breath out of the water, and acknowledge that I don't have to be so intense about things. Right now I'm trying to consider how to best connect with God and learn, love, and live for Him...while honestly figuring myself out (lol this part I should just let go of and do the God thing first). I know.

I'm not doing basketball anymore and Mark is still doing cross country. What is on my mind most these days? (GREAT QUESTION) the whole mom thing and professional thing....melding those two identities and really living in the present ---- it's a constant battle and Ian brings out the best in me and the worst in me. It is the wildest thing.

Church is going great, people are hungry and most seem to be getting it...home is cluttered and routine, work is fascinating, frustrating and a growth catalyst. I work on Mondays at the hospital doing discharge planning (social work), it is a pressure-cooker job...so many patients, so many tasks - you are always "on". Counseling (Tuesday-Wednesdays) really is a love and though I feel inadequate at times and ask God why?, people are growing. Unfortunately I am also seeing marriages falling apart before my eyes and I can't do a thing about it. I'm allowing myself to stay home today and do housework - something I haven't really done for a long time.

Ian loves to say "more" both in signing and talking...and he points to you if he wants to fist-bump you. yes fist-bump.

So let me turn those questions back around to you: How are things going for you? What is on your mind most these days? How are things at church, home, work?

Yes I AM Different

just realized that from a conversation with a client that I AM different after all...our past prepares us for our future and by golly - I'll be preparing my kids through my experience with pain and life's chaos --- just thought that was cool

Different? or not...

I don't know why I think I'm different...but I do.

(NOTE: a revealing post - please do not read further if you desire to see me as an "all-together" person who is always "with it"

Maybe it's my intention or fierce passion to not be a typical "minister's wife" but I guess I am ----- the supportive, caring, compassionate wife who is willing (most of the time) to put her schedule off for his...the understanding listener...modest dresser...and mother who chases around the toddler at church all while daddy shakes people's hands, listens to their stories and is a guide to a weary world.

Maybe it's the "you'd have to know my past" to be able to understand why I want to understand people so much or to be understood. Is it the depression? the postpartum depression? the anxiety that roams my mind? the experiences I had while struggling with a big vice for 8 years? the hurting? the college basketball player who fell short of glory & her potential? the teen who couldn't meet her own expectations or who criticized her body image so much that her view was distorted? the perfectionist who cried herself to sleep or didn't sleep when a term paper was due even on a topic she loved? the little girl who had so much security and confidence about herself until "that relationship or incident happened"? the grad student who wanted to become someone else and reinvented herself? the client sitting in front of the "experts" who were to help her but instead they pigeon-holed her and placed her in a box because she had to be "just like everyone else and that is why she struggled with this or that"? the isolated hermit in her dorm room who seriously contemplated ending everything?

Or maybe I think I'm different because I'm a dreamer, who peruses creative blogs and dreams of creating awesome/meaningful gifts for friends, journals, prints, frames, patterns, quotes, ideas, ideals...freedom...

Maybe it's the not-so-normal mother who struggles to play with her child out of anxiety that he will throw a fit becoming more independent as he needs to, the mom who doesn't want for sugar to touch her baby boy's lips (though realistically in moderation it's ok and she knows that), the mom who doesn't want to be defined by "mom" and plays a tug-of-war with her identity.

Or maybe the woman who knows that perfection isn't attainable and that imperfection really is beautiful, that authenticity and truth are more important than facades and perceived belonging, that friendships which are deep are worth the time but those that are surfacey might as well take a hike, the woman who seeks tranquility while enjoying adventure.

Maybe it's the runner in me who has more of a female softball player's build, who defies quickness and embraces participation over speed, who runs to transform her mind, heart and body, who sees her shorts rubbing against her thighs but realizes it is part of the territory, whose love handles are a-plenty and whose aim is to feel good and feel better.

She comes together, she is me, she is different but not really.

Figuring Things Out

I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm slow, I'm improving, I don't want to care, I care, I'm done, I'll keep going, it's too much, I can bare it, this is exhausting and what I think in some capacity on a daily basis. Whether it refers to being a mom, being a counselor, being a runner, or being Kara - I think it.

I'm ever caught up in this mind tug-of-war over how I see myself and what I do or how I am being. Ever tired of my own thoughts or actions. Somewhat depressed actually. Exercise, prayer and talking with others or doing something meaningful to help usually pulls me out of it. But...it's always waiting there. Ready to bounce, ready to demean and ready to tell me all the things that I really am not. Those things I strive to be but fall short of. So I'm figuring it out. Once again...

Mission Pantry - Coming Soon

Mission Pantry - Coming Soon
To clean out our pantry of existing ingredients and food items by creatively making delicious meals. Documenting what meals are created.

Challenge/Mission Declutter 50 - LIVE
Decluttering 50 things out of the house or putting in their place each week or month depending on how productive I am.

Challenge - Healthy Weight & Body - Just Began Yesterday
This requires me training for a direction or goal - in this case "Route 66 Mini-Marathon" in November with a friend AND incorporating biking and possibly swimming to lessen the pressure on my knees which is primarily why I need a health weight.

Mission Fireplace - 3 Months from now...
I want to chisel the fireplace shelves off (brick shelves within the fireplace protuding out), repaint the entire fireplace and attach a simple wood mantel.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unfortunately I'm always about "doing" and preoccupied with "being". Does that make sense? I have too many expectations for what should "be" for me especially with a toddler. Maybe it is overachievement or zest for life. Either way I sometimes place myself into a whole that is hard for me to get out of or to resist.

Not Written

I have not written for awhile or even posted and for good reasons:
1) this is really for me anyway and no one is really reading it
2) I think of clever or interesting things when I'm away from any computer and don't have place to write it down or the moment passes
3) I keep trying to think of a theme rather than these random postings and even though I fully intended to do Garage Sale Saturday - I have practiced and completed the activity ut have not taken any picture or posted any news about my findings
4) life is simpler when I'm not on the computer so much so alas...we will see

Colorful Room Makeovers: Bold & Beautiful

I will be helping a friend make-over her living room and bedroom and these colors cry out this friend's name. I'll try to share some more room ideas along the way and then will show you what it looks like in the end.

Colorful Room Makeovers: Bold & Beautiful

An Idea

I'm back and want to share...

Potential Upcoming 5k Connection Group
The premise is to RunInspired
Coming Soon... Give your couch separation anxiety! This 10-week 5K connection group will be geared toward beginning runners/walkers and progresses at a slow, non-intimidating pace to prepare you for a 5K.

The program includes:
·Training plan and coaching with weekly group training sessions
·Weekly hand outs and support emails
·Encouragement
·Special shopping trip for specialized shoes to E'ville or L'ville (dates TBD)

There may be informative information on the CCJ glass table or CCJ ENews.

Be sure to bring a friend! Don't wait another day to RunInspired!

There is a Season....there is a Time....

I've begun to realize how there is a season and a time for everything (of course under the sun - Ecclesiastes). There is a time for work (hospital social work & counseling)... and a time for play (surfing the net, running, crafting).

It's being discipined in knowing how to manueaver these times that keeps me sane.

Lots to Say but only Posting Small - LINKS

Trading in DVDs to Amazon for gift cards here.

Inspired by.....Stacy Amoo-Mensah here.

Oh My Handmade, here, is the cutest website with creative handmade products and just get my juices going with creativity!

Helping a friend design a nursery for her new little one coming 2011, and looking through nursery tours here.

Another amazing craft amongst the million that I'd like to do, a growth chart here.

Lots to Say but only Posting Small - SALE

Pampers

Pampers Village = Rewards for You!

Pampers Village is an online community of real parents like you. Membership enrolls you into our Gifts to Grow program--the Pampers you buy earn you points towards great rewards. Plus, you can earn points when your friends (new to Pampers) sign up.

View >>

Thoughts along the Way

Thoughts along the way...the 12 hour car drive way of traveling with a Toddler from Tulsa, OK back to southwest Indiana.

* Priorities really are important
* Am I giving what I have, wherever, whenever?
* What needs to change so everyday life isn't so full and stressful?
* How I wish I could get-away like this more often - at least 2x a year if not quarterly.
* Zoos are sooooooooo much fun!
* How do I communicate to others my purpose?
* Am I good soil for God or just a distraction or just prevent weeds but do not fertilize any other growth for others?
* How am I suppose to help Mark?
* Why weren't Mark and I on the same page this past week?

Garage Sale Saturday

I think I will begin a Saturday ritual of posting about a garage sale or garage sales to get out and see new things and meet new people in the area soooo it will be titled "Garage Sale Saturday".

This Saturday, today, was full of selling my own things at a friend's garage sale. There we finally sold the hard-to-part-with but tired-of-being-in-our-bedroom queen bed frame.


We were also able to sell a half-circle table and bar stools which has just cluttered up our living space (loved the stools but they had to go with that table). All in all it was a lovely selling day. It began with much rain and ended up hot and steamy but apparently those who really wanted to come out and were interested did. This really was one of the best garage sales I've ever been too: modern items, nearly new items and barely used, lots of variety and large items that were practically steals!

But I am glad it is done...until another sale...

Cats vs. Dogs

With the experience of having a dog in our house and in our lives once again for a full week. I think I have concluded that they are more work than cats.

Growing up I had a puppy named Tippy whom I adored and he adored me. He lived for 14 years and died suddenly in the summer of a high school year. I mourned tremendously and just knew that I would not be able to have a dog for many years to come. It hurt too badly. I still loved dogs and do enjoy them even now...but I've found that my life's rhythm is with my cats. They are laid back, playful at times - spontaneously so and shrug off life's hardships. They cuddle when we are close and usually like to stay in the same room but they are never on top of us, never lick us and simply purr.

Yes I do believe that I am a cat-lover and a dog-liker. Now newborn puppies are a different story (LOVE newborn and just walking puppies!). I don't think we'll be owning a dog anytime soon but it was fun to have the opportunity to experience having one again - his loyalty, companionship and ongoing presence was nice for the time-being.

LMFT National Exam

I did it. I finally took the test I'd been waiting to take since graduation of grad school in 2006. I thought about taking it right out since we were in Kentucky still but waited (probably out of fear)...so then came to Indiana and knew I couldn't take it for awhile...then legislature passed for my group to be able to take it if we desired. I jumped on board and was quickly haulted by bureacrative processes and then questions from the board. This was Fall of 2008...then sent in my syllabus along with a letter, and did not hear anything for months. Continued to inquire and then eventually was approved to take the test in July of 2009. Ian was not quite 7 months old and studying at that point was not an option.

So I waited...began counseling again (since I am in the crack between the legislature and my graduating class date - it is ok), and decided that the last window of opportunity before I would have to reapply was a good one for this May-June window and it worked out. I studied and studied...and studied...and studied. My contacts would be sticking to my eyes...I gained 10-15 lbs. between beginning of April (even with the mini-marathon) to now (mid-June) due to anxiety, over-eating and underexercising. Sometimes I forget what stress and anxiety do to me.

But ALAS, I took it and Lordwilling it is done. I find out in 6 weeks if I passed and if I did then...I believe God has some new things in store for me.
I'll be somewhat "legit" and though I will still need to gather my hours and only work part-time. It will take awhile to be fully licensed...but that is ok. Because I'm not willing to sacrifice time with my family that I have, getting burned out if I worked full-time 50 hrs a week, doing billing and paperwork and not able to be who God has designed me to be. His purpose...not mine.

We will see.

Facebook Status

I think my mind split open and the information I have learned over the last 6 years with therapy and models is oozing out into my laundry...

I think something broke in my brain...it's spinning.

Family Dynamics

James Framo (from object-relations therapy model) concluded:
"The politics of family requires that family members live with each other for many years and never tell each other how they really feel; through a lifetime they do not meet or touch. One of the things we try to accomplish...is to help the members really see each other, to tell each other frankly their warm, positive feelings as well as the angry ones, and to allow happiness to become something to be experienced, rather than something to be remembered (p.190)."

Framo, J.L. (1976).Family of origin as a therapeutic resource for adults in marital and family therapy: You can and should go home again. Family Process, Vol 15, 193-210.

My take from this - this therapy model is rather interesting, still trying to wrap my head around it for sure but one thing I love about this is bringing a couple's family-of-origin (one partner at a time) into the therapeutic process.
I think of my own family-of-origin and the many unresolved or unknown perceptions and processes that have gone on and continue to go on with my older brother, my cousins, aunts and uncles and my own parents. It is something we often never take time to really talk about TOGETHER. And in a non-guarded fashion - when family get-togethers come together it is a hard time to just sit and discuss what is REALLY going on with you. Family dynamics come out to play and sometimes it is great, and sometimes it is not good at all. But we are family for a reason...God put us together somehow. I think it is true that iron sharpens iron but man it is hard to have a sibling be that iron; although, how great that would be for siblings to connect at such a level that their defenses (or defense mechanisms) towards one another or their own stories about one another take a pause and they can listen to one another out of love and pursuing understanding.

That would be a really nice world...I'd be open to that.

Circle of Moms

Circle of Moms
During one of my breaks while studying - I found this application via Facebook that I am beginning to like, and then found a group that has December 2008 babies and thought it was kind of neato - don't know if I will join but it's cool.

December 2008 Babies on Circle of Moms

Amazed by Learning & Figuring Myself Out

We as humans are so very interesting and complex. I used to toute myself as a "simple" person, no pretense or fakeness however what I didn't realize is that I too have opinions and when confronted by something I do not like I am vocal. A simple person may not necessarily be so vocal or have an opinion.

I think marriage helped me figure this out the most, or should I say Mark. :) He'd ask me where to eat and of course I would say "wherever" - remember I'm a "simple" person, easy to please and then he would say "where" and I would say....nah I don't want to go there. LOL...I have an opinion.

Anywho I've come to realize I am just as complex as any other person and sometimes maybe more since I am aware of myself...and continually learn about my own awareness and myself. I love learning...but I don't like anxiety and the trials that come from knowing and not knowing. Alas it is life,and we are ALL complex!

Dave Ramsey "Budgeting" Money Makeover - 1/10

Utilizing this video for the Financial Management date night with budget sheets!! Yay!

Getting Up

The greatest feat, is getting up after you fall down. And you do it again, and again, and again. But it never really does get old.

I'm reminded of many couples I see and friends I have where you have a fight or another argument and that last argument "was it" for you, you've had it and you're done or the world tells you "get out" and yet it is relearning to get back up and to humble yourself before God...and possibly before your partner or even standing strong with humility. It's the art of getting back up that makes life exciting and torturous. Moving forward, keeping on and not stopping. When you stop or runaway - that is when things get messy UNLESS it is full about face where you're going towards God and away from your own way.

We all fall, we all stumble and we all have to get back up.

Are you Living in Fear and/or Anxiety?

These two emotions/creatures whatever you want to call them drive so many of our actions and often we are unaware of this. We simply react to situations and others as if our reactions are simply from our personality or just "natural" but there is nothing natural about fear. We weren't born with fear - we learned fear along with anxiety from our surroundings and possibly some of us from some biological roots.

In Bowen's model - he considers how chronic anxiety can be transmitted generationally through families:
family emotional processes are transferred and maintained over several generations -- Passing chronic anxiety from generation to generation
Think about your family - did this occur? I know it did for me. It was more anxiety than fear for me but that followed along eventually.

It's interesting how this theory resonates with me and speaks of the term "differentiation" which refers to how a person is able to separate thoughts and emotions from their family-of-origin rather than being controlled by anxiety (this is my wording)
This is taken from "Study Guide for MFT" by Dr. Linton Hutchinson for my studying for the exam:

A differentiated self is able to be guided by thoughts or emotion
* They recognize they need others (HOW MANY OF US WON'T ASK FOR HELP)
* But they depend less on the acceptance and approval of others
* Individuals who are differentiated:
Are able to stay rational, clear headed, and able to critically assess the situation without being
clouded by emotion even when faced with rejection, conflict, or criticism
These family members are confident in their own thinking, and they make their decisions thoughtfully
(not because they are giving in to relationship pressures)
They can either support another family member's point of view without becoming wishy-washy or reject
another's viewpoint without becoming hostile (BOUNDARIES)

It goes on to say for this model - I found this interesting and I've thought about this a lot with working with families.
* It describes the primary way parents transmit their emotional problems to a child
* For example: 1. The child that receives projection will have trouble differentiating
2. This will, in turn, effect his interactions with his own spouse and/or children
* The parent focuses on a child out of fear that something is wrong with the child
* The parent interprets the child's behavior as confirming the fear
* The parent treats the child as if something is really wrong with the child

A lot of times parents "self-propheci" their children into their fears. The phrase that comes to mind for me are mothers who tell their daughters "you're going to get fat if you eat that" OR paranoia over a child's potential to drink alcohol (so instead of educating them you just assume they are doing it out of fear).

Just some interesting thoughts - you couldn't grow up not being affected by your family's level of anxiety, fear or differentiation but as an adult you have choices and can be aware of how you react.
Different models and worldviews have different perspectives so of course this is just one. But one that I do see some validity in for sure.

MONOGRAM Canvas

It takes about 30-40 minutes to complete.
Materials Needed:
•4”x 4” blank canvas
•2 - 4″x 6″ pieces of decorative paper
•Modge Podge - Matte OR some other adhesive glue
•Foam Brush
•Scissors or Paper Cutter
•Embellishments [butterflies, letters, magazine clippings]
Step One: Gather all your supplies in one spot.

Step Two: Arrange the decorate papers in a design you like. Tear the long edge of the patterned paper towards you.


Step Three: Paint the canvas part you will cover with Modge Podge. Place the plainest paper on the canvas first then glue on the patterned paper after you tear the edge. Smooth out air bubbles and edges with your fingers carefully (this can get a bit messy). Be careful not to peel off the paper by rubbing the bubbles out too hard.



Step Four: Glue down any curled up edges and place Modge Podge on top the paper where you will place your letters and magazine clippings. Put ‘em on! (Wait to place any felt letters on!)


Step Five: Directly apply Modge Podge glue or adhesive to the back of the felt letter (if you have one) and place where you would like it. Press down and let dry. Place on any other embellishments & hang up! IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT – MAKE IT YOUR OWN!

Allow Yourself Today - Activity

TODAY update your closest friend(s) on how you are doing -- give a "real" update - allow yourself to be open.

My "real" update for today is - figuring out my own schedule. Do I work on client letters, reconnecting with those I have not heard from......or do I study for my exam? OR do I update my to-do lists...work on basketball girls' monogram project...?

Decisions, choices and plans - always moving, always changing.

The Art of Feeding a Toddler

Feeding A Toddler: Tips for healthy eating at Pampers.com

Right now we are going through a time of fun, frustration and as I read more and more normal transitions with Ian as he grows and explores and figures out all of this food stuff. Sometimes it drives us crazy!! This was a good article plus I got some menus and hopefully this will help us with meals times. Otherwise they end up being wars even if I stay as patient as possible. Stomping, screaming, crying.....grrrrrrr...
Feeding A Toddler: Tips for healthy eating at Pampers.com

Celebrating Mum

Just for the fun of this - I found this photo on Margaret's blog and loved it. Though I'm not British I do have an alter-ego who is and she wishes her Mum a wonderful day!

A Week in the Life

Someday I will do the project "A Week in the Life" that Ali Edwards talks about and that Iara (love that name by the way did). I love hers! Go to here.

Gluttony & Cookies

So I am a sucker for sweets and for chocolate and for sugar. I just gorged on a number of cookies and I realize continually how thankful I am that God helps to remind me that gluttony is a sin and that I need to turn from it. Thank you for stomach-aches! Yes I know it sounds weird but I am thankful for that consequence so I won't do it again.

I realized also that when I was running in the mornings last week that my decisions about food and my body-image were much more positive and really made a difference in how I interacted with my own world. There was a shift that occurred. I want to write about that because it really meant something to me. I was surprised by it, I had more energy and was much more purposeful with how I dealt with life - especially Mark and Ian. I was calmer, more self-confident and felt like I accomplished something.
Then.....I got sick, ran early Saturday and could not Sunday or Monday...got worse Tuesday and now it is Wednesday. So tomorrow I AM RUNNING! We humans really do put ourselves in predicaments when we allow ourselves to make bad decision after bad decision.
There is a commercial out now that depicts eating a cereal bar to start out your day will lead to better choices because you feel better about yourself. I am convinced of this however I often do not take the time to begin with the healthy choices so then it's easier to give in and give up. All to say - I messed up and now need to move on...

The Sweetest Sound...

One of the Sweetest Sound possibly to be heard is our little man at bedtime. We put him down about 8-8:30 every single night and it never fails. For at least 30-45 minutes he sits in his crib with his blanket, his green round pillow and his white bunny and just talks...and talks...and laughs and sings. He says his vowels like he knows what he is talking about and Mark and I just sit in our living room listening to him and relaxing. It truly is the sweetest sound...especially when he laughs and you can tell that then he puts his face into his blanket or bunny and just yyyyuuuuuummmmmmmms sounds in it.
It's the sound of innocence and purity. Just pure joy coming from a little creature of God.

Extraordinary or Ordinary Couple

If your marriage was going to be made into a movie and one day it will belong to your kids or family in the future, do you want it to read “Extraordinary” or “Just OK: They kind of Survived”…”Tragedy”…. “Divorce”…What would you want for it to read?
What will make you different? How will you make it?


What is your vision for your marriage?


For Mark & I - our movie title would be: "Extraordinary: a Journey of the Quirkie and Committed OR In It to Win It OR A Journey of Grace

Mark put "Striving for better than Ordinary"...

Flying Pig Half Marathon 2010

I continually find it interesting that every single race I run (6 half marathons later & 3 marathons) that each race is truly unique in its own right. I've done the Half twice now in Cinci and the full once and I LOVE the course, even when I feel like my lungs are going to explode up the hill on mile 6 and around Eden Park. And though I'm out of shape moreso than I ever have been for a race, I still got a 2:13 which is ok. 2:03 is my PR and I knew I was not going to hit that at all.

I had to do a 2:00:1:00 (run/walk) all the way up the hills because my legs weren't as prepared this year as in year's past but the downhill....woah that still felt great and I know I can fly by people every time...I just have to know that I will be humbled again when it comes to a flat or a hill where those same people I passed will somewhat creep up on me.

This year the change was....RAIN....RAIN....RAIN but it was warm rain and I was prepared. It kept me from having blisters and really cooled off everyone. We were all in the same boat. It began to feel good to me. Another difference the start is so packed but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. I really do not like corral starts - they drive me crazy...get me over that start line in 5-15 minutes but not 30-60 minutes. I'm ok with it, and I inevitably always hear interesting conversations even if it might be complaining...and inevitably there will be walkers right at the start....sometimes 3 across - sometimes 5. PLEASE DO NOT EVER START BY WALKING UNLESS YOU ARE IN THE VERY BACK - IT IS ANNOYING!
Other differences: Our pit-crew (our parents) weren't with us this year as they usually are so that was different. We stayed in a Quality Inn that felt like we were in a horror movie as we walked through the halls and thought two dead children were going to pop out at any time (reference to a film I will never see), but the room was ok and nice.

Alas, some similarities - I still am so anxious about the morning parking situation and walking to the start. Since we were late to one 10k about 3 years ago in Louisville (really, really late) I just freak out - poor Mark but he does a little bit too. We always seem to have a spat before a race and it always turns out ok but it's intense. BEWARE IF YOU EVER COME WITH US - LOL.

But it still felt great to be there, to feel alive and feel your body unlike any other time...to know that your body is being cleaned out and that you just go. So many different body types that God made and wow.....I guess my hips aren't as big as I think compared to other women but geesh some of them kick my butt with speed. Some fighting cancer, some eating disorders, some to fight depression, and others just doing it to do it and mark it off a bucket list. I think my list keeps getting checked off...I guess I need to sky-dive next and not run another race.

The Expo was run and the meal after the race - YUMMY - Red Lobster with Whitney and Paula Quinn Ruff. Man that was great! and Diet Pepsi!!!! I love that meal - calories really don't count. So again...I miss the races and the city but I'm glad to be where we are and hope to do more but admit, would still like to do a triathlon - the stars just have to align just right and Ian will need to be a little bigger I think. And Mark did ggggrreeeaaatttt!! 1:54 time.

Until next time!

All-Together

There are days when I feel altogether or at least mornings like this one where I did a weight training class and then ran 2 miles. (Still preparing for the mini-marathon this weekend). And before I shower I just sit and realize, wow I just got one big hurdle out of the way. :)

Today holds many possibilities between calling potential clients, former clients and future premarital couples to attend our premarital couple connection group. I'm writing the curriculum and am excited to build it up with the message that we are here to prevent divorce even before a marriage happens.

So today I'm "all-together" and tomorrow might be a different story but today is nice.

Space Conserving Seating

Space-Conserving Seating
Most apartment living rooms have space for a sofa, coffee table, and maybe a chair -- definitely not enough seating for hosting a group of friends. Solve the problem with fabric-covered cushions that make sitting on the floor not a big deal. When they're not needed, the cushions can be stacked and stowed.

-- Purchase foam cushions of the thickness and size you need.

-- Search remnant piles and discount stores for pretty fabric that matches your decor.

-- Wrap the fabric around the cushion and hot glue in place.

19 Ideas to Steal for Your Apartment: Ideas for Apartments, Condos, and Rentals

It's Been Awhile...

It's Been Awhile since I last posted..

Ian now is learning to say please or "peas" and his thank you's "tank-cuu's" are getting much better and more frequent. This morning Mark did a great thing as I got Ian up to change him and Ian immediately got mad or sad or maybe he was even scared at laying down but Mark came in and just calmed him down so I could change him and it made a world of difference! The morning went much smoother and he was his happy, go-lucky self just talking away and "what's that!"...

He came into the restroom as I was getting ready and just opened his mouth (he was ready for his teeth to be brushed). Sometimes he is a handfull when he simply plays by himself he is so fun to watch. I wonder what God thinks of us as we play by ourselves?

I finally called the tree-trimming place (it's only taken me two weeks to call to get an estimate) and they are going try to come out next week. :S Should have called them earlier - oh well. Alas, today was a 5 mile run - love my downhill start and later on it felt more comfortable but it takes me a long time to even get out to do it. :S

Guest Post : Storytelling Frames by Elizabeth Kartchner

Guest Post : Storytelling Frames by Elizabeth Kartchner

Posted using ShareThis

Adult Personalities

Studying for a licensure exam - may put tidbits like these up from time to time to consider: GESTALT - * Perls likens the unfolding of adult personality to the peeling of an onion: 1. Phony layer - stereotypical and inauthentic 2. Phobic layer - fears keep clients from seeing themselves 3. Impasse layer - giving up power 4. Implosive layer - fully experiencing deadness 5. Explosive layer - letting go of phony roles

Turning Point

There are times in life when you just know that you are beginning another chapter of your life. I had this realization this past week as I began to see my professional self becoming more awakened and determined to pursue some goals and being given opportunities to do so. Between hospital social work, home-care social work and marriage & family therapy at CCJ my world is opening up a little bit more and I'm allowing it to do so.

As I study for my licensure exam I'm reviewing all kinds of knowledge and WOW THERE IS A LOT! and it always has me looking at my own worldview and how I consider life and people. We have so much potential and so many times we kick ourselves. So many different ways of looking at the world, situations and our own thoughts. Then there is God's view and it is so revealing. I could go on and on about truth and Truth but I will not do that here.

So the Turning Point - I cleaned out drawers and cabinets and some areas in the basement full of memories from Grayson, KY (beginning of marriage and undergrad years), found high school newspaper clippings (realized I had settled at one point for living in another person's shadow), notes from friends (some I am still close to and some I have no idea what has happened to them), cards from occasions, a ton of personality tests I had taken (you'd think I'd know myself by now) and gobs of class notes that were meticulously written perfectionistically to learn. I was and still somewhat am a knowledge-seeker but back then I grabbed everything...especially Biblically or some sort of understanding of myself. A lot of searching.

I sit here now realizing that I am further along, utilizing more of my heart than before in considering life and situations, giving a lot more people the benefit of the doubt, seeing more colors (I loved black & white in middle school), not perfectionist in my endeavors (for goodness sake one of my anthems is "imperfection"). We're messy people and life is messy. Not everything fits in a nice box or goes on a straight line. Memories fall in and out - I got rid of A LOT of stuff and I think also took some things out of my brain as well which was nice.

Creating more room for new people, new development and a deepering relationship with Christ. It's not as much about me...my time isn't as much about me. It's a nice place, not a comfortable place but at least the predictable is unpredictable and I'm more ok with that.

My grad notes contained lots of great thinking nuggets and questions. AND I found how to interview the problem!!! YES! (for those unfamiliar with therapy - we can talk later about that)

This is a new phase in life. I've done the teenage deep thing (conversations with Sarah Beachy, Olga Panchenko and Kristi Brandon about God and then there were my own struggles), the hold onto all memories thing (notes from Megan King, memories with Jane Wamsley in middle school, Alena [List] Bauman and Robyn [Elliot] Myers), the college struggle and hold on to notes that got me through (thanks Beth Johnson, Karissa [Evans] Kimmel and Rachel [Szallai] Harvey), the bridal shower tid-bits and all the wedding items, the notes in class passed in grad school (hahaha Leslee, Randi, Karen and Rebecca), and there were some other things I went through - my Christian book obsession that are great books but I'm not going to read them. My obsession with marriage information at the beginning of our marriage (poor Mark he was ambushed with that stuff), found coasters I ambitiously made with Sherrill Rommel in Louisville that awakened my creative juices & sent me on a rampage to stock up on crafts, and race numbers from all of our races (most I can't remember now - no wait I can remember), and pictures I didn't know we had of hanging out with friends (Aaron & Jen Johnson, Mandy Gorman, and my extended family as they were getting to know Mark). Yep a lot has happened.

Searching, Undergrad, real world job, Grad school, pretend world, Church world, God world, Jasper, Baby World and now...family world with professional pursuits. I'm finally getting there and I know this phase will have many stories of its own.
.

Great Quotes

God made you as you are in order to use you as He planned. ~J.C. Macaulay

Mountain tops are for views & inspiration but fruit is grown in the valleys.

Clutter Excuses

If you haven't determined yet I enjoy reading Christine Kane's insights I get weekly in my email inbox. If you're a clutter-clinger, be kind to yourself. Begin with an awareness of your thoughts and excuses. For starters, read over this list to see if you can find YOUR excuse!

Clutter Excuse #1: "I'd be a bad mean horrible person if I…"
Guilt is heavy gooey energy that convinces us we're bad people if we let go of heirlooms, knick-knacks, unwanted clothing, or unwanted gifts.

These items clutter up our lives and keep us in a comfortable – but draining – place. And conveniently, we never have to decide what we actually do want in our environment. We become environmental victims. Often, that spreads out into other parts of our lives too!

Clutter Excuse #2 - "I spent so much on it!"
Do you punish yourself for having made a bad choice by keeping the item around? Or convince yourself that you're going to get your money's worth – even if it drains the heck out of you?

You won't. And it will. We've all done stupid things. And we've all had to let them go. Now it's your turn.

Clutter Excuse #3 - "I might need this someday."
I often wonder how many idle telephone cords exist in the world. Way in the back of old desk drawers. Stuffed on closet shelves. They can't be gotten rid of. Why?

Because we might need them some day.
Evidently, some day - in spite of technological progress - you're going to need that particular grey phone cord that came in the box with a phone you bought in 1989.

Throw it out. Now. Same thing goes for: The broken fax machine, switch plates from your first house, and every glass flower vase that came with deliveries.

Clutter Excuse #4 - "I might do this someday."
I know. I know. Someday you'll take those broken pieces of china you've collected and create a beautiful mosaic birdbath. And you'll go through those stacks of magazines and make that collage for your sister's 30th birthday party. (She's 51 now.)
Now – I don't mean to deny you your plans and dreams. However, I urge you to consider experiencing the infinite relief that appears when you let old project ideas go. Call your sister and tell her the collage ain't gonna happen. Buy a mosaic birdbath from an artist who makes her living from creating such treasures.
And then, make space for what you want to do. Don't fill your space with what you should do.

Clutter Excuse #5 - "I gotta look good to my guests."
CD's. Books. DVD's. Are these items treasured? Or are they simply a prop so your guests will be impressed by your intelligence and diverse tastes?
Remember this: we are motivated by two things: Fear or Love. Which of these keeps you clinging to items because of appearances?

Clutter Excuse #6 - "I Don't Know Where It Goes."
When items don't have a home, it's harder to determine whether or not they are clutter. Some things may seem like clutter - like the cute card that your daughter made that floats around from drawer to drawer - but they're not clutter.
They're homeless.
Once you start defining spaces for items, then it's easier to see when something doesn't fit anywhere and should just get tossed.

Clutter Excuse #7 - "My thoughts don't have any power. Do they?"
Everything has energy. The thoughts you have about the things in your home CREATE energy. If you are surrounded by stuff you keep out of guilt, then your environment holds guilt. If you hang on to stuff given to you by your ex, and you still feel bitter – then there is bitterness in your home.

Get it? It's either fueling you, or draining you. Some things might be neutral, of course. But if anything triggers you, then that is your barometer. Let it go.

Clutter Excuse #8 - "But I never wore it!"
See Clutter Excuse #2.

Clutter Excuse #9 - "There's too much stuff!"
Overwhelm can stop us in our tracks. If this article makes you aware that there are lots of items in your life you don't like, then go slow. Schedule small chunks of time each day. It takes time to be clutter-free! But the newfound clarity and lightness are worth it!

WE ARE INFLUENCED

WE ARE INFLUENCED: here are some interesting insights from a couple of reviews of great books.
“From Mary Pfiffer’s Book – Reviving Ophelia”,
Girls struggle with mixed messages:
Be beautiful, but beauty is only skin deep.
Be sexy, but not sexual.
Be honest, but don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
Be independent, but be nice.
Be smart, but not so smart that you threaten boys.
Girls have long been evaluated on the basis of appearance and caught in myriad double binds; achieve, but not too much; be polite, but be yourself; be feminine and adult; be aware of our cultural heritage, but don’t comment on sexism.”
~~~
“From Jackson Katz’s summary of ‘Tough Guise’, The myth of the real man is linked intimately with the phenomenon of the tough guise wherein boys and men learn to show the world only those parts of themselves that the dominant culture has defined as manly. Even at a remarkable young age, boys are likely to be well-versed in the rules of the macho game. Males absorb early on and from everywhere that not only is there such a thing as a real man but also that there is a price to pay for not qualifying as one. For boys across racial, ethnic and socioeconomic lines, being a real man often means being tough and strong, fitting into the narrow box that defines ideal manhood.”

The Story of Today

I did well being an imperfectionist Friday - did some fun layouts at a craft get-together at church with some wonderful ladies. Just being our raw selves and enjoying creativity. I was so giddy I couldn't stand it!

So the Story of Today - each day has a story in and of itself. This morning Mark gave a message that was very down to the point of why we are here: For God/Jesus and For Others and how being a servant is more important then just serving. He sat on a ladder (on top) for most of it which made me very nervous though I trust him.

But the big Story of Today may be our basketball banquet. It's an event of memories, thank you's and reminiscing from the coaches (I'd love to talk but usually don't - just never have). And it sums up the season and the last time I'll really see the Seniors together with their team. It's bittersweet and of course I think of so many inspirational things I'd love to write down for these girls but inevitably don't get it done :S. I'd love to tell them why I came back...into the middle/end of the season, what God was doing with me now that I can look back..., how their lives and presence really do impact me..., what hopes I have for each one of them..., the significance that they have in others lives..., and just how precious they are to God. These young ladies are where I've been and although their families are different, where they grew up is slightly different, their personalities are all different and the groups of friends they hang out with are different, we have two things in common: basketball and being a woman in this world. I'd like to say we also have our relationship with Christ in common but I know that is not entirely true. Some are active spectators watching others grow in their faith while they focus more on the world and what the world says. Some go to services but don't really let it hit their heart and some are just blind to how their decisions and comments affect other people.

I'm not naive and although I try and usually do have a rosy view of them, I'd like to think that I can be that person that simply sees the most beautiful parts of them and I can encourage them in that. I don't need to see the bad, nor think about it: we're all human and fall short. I just hope that God has shown something to them through me and my own presence. Whether that be love, grace, encouragement, hope or recreating themselves to be who they desire to be. That is the Story of Today...

Falling Short 2

Wow when I fall short of the Glory of God, I fall short! not only for Him but also for myself, my family, friends and probably all the caterpillars as well.

Here is an article I just read about becoming an imperfectionist and how it can be so freeing...I see so much of myself in this!
Why Becoming an Imperfectionist Makes You Successful and Happy
by Christine Kane

"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly."
~ Julia Cameron

How much stuff do you think about doing?
How many things would you love to try but stop yourself because you don't know how to begin?
Do you avoid projects because of the pressure to do them well?

If so, feel free to join me and some of my most successful friends in our exclusive club of very special and talented people: We call ourselves the Imperfectionists!
What's an Imperfectionist?
• An Imperfectionist is often a recovering perfectionist.
• An Imperfectionist knows that getting something done is better than sitting back and waiting to do it perfectly.
• An Imperfectionist knows that being a Perfectionist is simply an excuse NOT to take action.
• An Imperfectionist congratulates herself for taking small steps.
• An Imperfectionist buys herself flowers when she accomplishes something - even if it's not quite up to her ego's high standards.
• An Imperfectionist knows that getting a scary thing done IS the reward. Not the kudos or adoration.

You Might Need to Become an Imperfectionist if…
• You tell yourself you need to get "just a little more information" before you'll try something.
• You have a case of the "Used-to-Be's." ("I used to be so good at this!" Or "I used to be so thin!" Or, "I used to write everyday and now look…")
• Your mantra to the world is: "I'm just so overwhelmed! There's too much to do! It's so hard to be me!"
• You call friends and co-workers to get sympathy for how hard it is to accomplish your goals and dreams. They often agree, citing how special you are because you have been given so much talent – and how it must be quite a burden.
• You spend more than one hour per day on Facebook, watching television, or not fully engaging in other addictive activities.
• At the end of every year, you wonder why you never seem to move any further towards your dreams.
• You are waiting for your POTENTIAL to finally kick in.

Why Becoming an Imperfectionist Makes You Successful and Happy
Being an Imperfectionist is an Intention.

When you become an Imperfectionist, you finally recognize your ego voice exactly for what it is: Your own personal Success Prevention Expert.
When you become an Imperfectionist, you finally realize how many Success Prevention Experts exist in the world.
When you become an Imperfectionist, you lower the bar – or better yet, remove it altogether. You can then create in the moment without any grade or standard. Ironically, this allows for such freedom and joy that you might end up doing a great job. (Or at least having a great time!)
When you become an Imperfectionist, you place your creative attention on the project or activity itself. You don't waste it on obsessing about the outcome. (This paradoxically leads to a higher chance of greatness, and a definite outcome of happiness!)
When you become an Imperfectionist, you get things done imperfectly. You then learn that you can tweak and fix and try again. This process makes you Unstoppable.
When you become an Imperfectionist, you finally understand that there are no mistakes. Just judgments.
Becoming an Imperfectionist doesn't mean you don't become a master of your craft or your passion - but that's not the starting goal.

How to Become an Imperfectionist
1 - Imperfectly pick one thing you keep telling yourself you want to do.
2 - If you read #1 and think, "I can't possibly pick just one! There's too many!" then do not proceed until you have picked just one.
3 - Get a timer, and set it to 55 minutes.
4 - Walk away from your computer right now and spend 55 minutes doing that very activity.
5 - Repeat #4 again tomorrow.
6 - Repeat #4 again every day after that until the item is complete.
7 - Celebrate the item's completion with chocolate, flowers, or a manicure.
8 - Go back to #1 and start over.

An Imperfect List of Things You Can Do Imperfectly
• Imperfect Writing
• Imperfect Meditation
• Imperfect Yoga
• Imperfect Romance
• Imperfect Hiking
• Imperfect Vacations
• Imperfect Scrapbooking
• Imperfect Cooking
• Imperfect Dinner Parties
• Imperfect Bowling
Add your own items to this list as needed. Find a way to let yourself experience them without judgment. And listen to this recovering perfectionist when she tells you that your success is guaranteed when you live by this principle!

Disclaimer: The preceding article should be ignored by the following people:

Brain surgeons.
Commercial airline pilots.
Skydivers.

falling short

Falling short and I don't mean height-wise...just disappointing myself after the lessons learned. Motivation is so fickle and unless I have those friends who keep my accountable I fall by the wayside again and again...

Why I am Motivated...

I gave a talk at a Healthy Habits meeting at our church tonight and found myself so full of things to say - some motivating as to why I am motivated to run or strive to be healthy or just to reflect on my own journey since I began running and have run 3 marathons, 5-6 mini-marathons, 2 10-milers, 2 10k's and can't count the 5k's.

However, as much fun as it was to recall my own journey and the success and failure I felt at times, injuries I endured, and mental toughness I developed, what I feel was not said...was the real reason that I am motivated now. God has brought me so far in the past 4 years here in Jasper after leaving Louisville. He's taught me again and again what it means to live a life for Him and to give up the "me" story. I fall often and with injury (literally and figuratively) but the lesson comes up again and again. This life is not about me. It's not about my running times or that I even ran. It's about me being obedient to what He calls me to do and to use the gifts that He has given to me in ways that maybe I wouldn't have imagined.

It's about being obedient and disciplined (I'm getting the obedient part more and more but the disciplined part is what I keep kicking and messing up on). If I am disciplined then He can use me to touch others, to motivate and encourage them and to be in the places where He wants me to be at the right times for the particular people. Too often I use the "me" story to not do what is right..."I'm too tired, I need to rest, I just can't today, I'm sore..., it's too much" or my best one "more sleep or focus on myself will make me more aware of life and let me think". What a bowl of bologna!! :)

It's when I'm able to be in God's will and His mindset that things actually happen, growth comes more easily and I am so much more flexible. Trust in God's promises not in your own feelings...

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

We're Sectional Champions! That is the high school girls' Varsity basketball team at Jasper. Friday night's game was so close that I think if I could have had a heart attack I would have but this team finds a way to win and I was so impressed with their focus and determination. Last night we played Southridge (one of our county schools) and it went well although I did not celebrate until the last minute when it was totally happening and it was great. It made me remember the feeling I had with my high school team senior year winning tournaments and being cheered on in our sectional against Northwood; as well as the championships during the summer leagues and then especially the National Championships in college.

I screamed so hard that I had to hold my head at one point otherwise it felt like it was going to fall off. Wonderful! Alas, so now we prepare for our Regional. :)

There is much more to say but I am tired. But I will mention that I ran twice this past week (3 miles) each and felt really great!! :)

A Procrastinator

I am a procrastinator -- some weeks are better than others but the message I keep hearing is less is more and that by focusing more on a few things I will end up accomplishing many things...

9 Simple Solutions for Procrastinatorsby Christine Kane
Irony: As I started to write this article, I thought, "I'll just go play one Sudoku game first." I caught myself in the act and marched to my laptop.

People who say that procrastination is about laziness are probably the same people who think that anorexia is about not eating enough. Procrastination isn't about laziness. It's about fear. It's about perfectionism. It's about overwhelm. We all experience it, and there are some tricks to help you get moving again.

Here are 9 ways to break the procrastination habit:
1 - When you get an idea, do some little thing to begin.When I read Stephen King's book On Writing, I noticed something. I noticed that when Stephen King gets an idea, he writes it. Immediately and imperfectly.

Most people get an idea. Then they sit there. They wonder if it's a good idea. Then, they wonder if it's a good idea some more. Got an idea? Begin it now!

2 - All hail small chunks of time!
Lots of us complain about having no time. My guess is that we all have lots of time. It just doesn't happen to be all at once.

Are you waiting for many hours of spare time to begin your idea, your project, or your taxes? Stop waiting! Learn to use the spare half hour that comes up here and there. (I gave myself 45 minutes to write this article just to take my own advice.)

3 - Agree to do it badly.
Set a goal to do it badly. Set a goal to show up. Let go of doing it ALL, or doing it WELL. Some of my coaching clients' biggest victories have a lot more to do with getting over perfectionism and fear, than they do about getting it all done perfectly.

4 - Commit aloud.
Call a friend and say something like this: "I'm going to spend the next half hour working on my Law School Essay." Then go do it. Call the friend after the half hour and make her congratulate you. Repeat daily.

5 - Define quantities.
Nebulous goals make for nebulous results. "I'm gonna get my office organized" is a lot like saying, "We oughtta do something about Global Warming." Most procrastinators have a hard time defining quantities. We think everything needs to be done NOW.When are you going to do it? For how long? Which part of your office? The file cabinet? Or your desk?

Define the goal and acknowledge its completion.

6 - Install this System Upgrade into your Mental Hard Drive: Less is More. Have fewer goals. Have no more than three priorities for a week.
Why?
Because you're not lazy. You're just trying to do too much.
Find out what it feels like to accomplish one thing instead of not quite getting to everything. Wow - what a difference this makes!

7 - Do it first.
My first coach made me write songs first thing in the morning. He told me to schedule the 2-hour chunk as my first activity upon waking.
Why?
"Because you're telling the universe that this is your priority. And then the universe lines up everything to align with your priority." [For a Christian this might be having your quiet time with God.]
Action grounds your priorities. It makes them real. It also makes your day easier because you're not wasting energy thinking about this thing you're supposed to be doing.

8 - Avoid nose-bleed activities.
Email, voicemail, web stats - any activity that bleeds itself into your whole day becomes a non-activity. It becomes a nose-bleed.
When you do it all the time, you never complete it. You just let it slowly drain the very life force from you. Define times for these activities. Then, turn off your email, your cell phone, your web stats, until that time comes.

9 - Don't ask how you "feel" about doing the activity. Have you ever committed to getting fit? And then when the alarm goes off, you lie in bed thinking, "Do I really feel like going to the gym?" (Like you even have to ask!)
Change this pattern. Make your decision the night before. Commit to getting up and going right to the gym, the computer, the blank canvas. Don't have coffee and sigh and think, "I'll probably feel more like it at lunch time." You won't! If it's a priority, don't waste time asking yourself how you feel about doing it. Feelings are an easy out.
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So in this case, what do I desire to prioritize:
* fitness & health
* writing or crafting (at some point)
* preparation for LMFT exam {licensure exam}

Monday, Monday

Maybe it is just a Monday. Monday is a hard day for me...maybe because it is the day with the least structure for me. I'm overwhelmed with choices and on any other day I get excited to think about all I could accomplish or do if I only had that Monday back (including rest). Alas, only one day out of the week can be Monday and it is hard. As much as I don't want to admit it - I do better in routine...though it drives me crazy since I'm such a floater. I love spontaneity and freedom (hmmmm I sound like a toddler)...but I know I need routine. I'm unable to have the gumption to really strive on a Monday.

I think I need to chart my days and see the patterns that occur because I'm sure that they are there and definitely need to be changed. There were great things about today and proactive things; such as, Ian learned how to blow kisses at Ambra's and then demonstrated with me on the way home. :) Unfortunately he may have a sinus infection or is getting pink eye :S. The basketball sectional meal was very nice and enjoyable and Ian had a good day all in all; plus, a group was cancelled due to potential weather (which mind you has not come yet). I hate cancelling something but it seemed like the best alternative since my leaders were either sick or apprehensive about the weather.

I'm trying to think of things to look forward to but it is harder to do so...seeing that every month we're just getting by and putting anything away for a vacation is really non-existent though I feel blessed that I was able to do the "what not to wear" thing. I look forward to Ian growing (he can reach the bar table now!!), de-cluttering the house (a never-ending endeavor), mainly spending time with friends and catching up and see my lady wildcats win sectional and play at regionals in our home gym.

It's amazing how someone with so much faith in God, and faith in other people can have such a lack of faith in herself and in her very own abilities. I guess that keeps me humble but it also depresses me at times. Sometimes it is frustrating just to think about all that is in my head and I really shouldn't...it just confuses me. Thank you that Monday is almost over...and I can start over again on Tuesday. Hello Tuesday.

Creating a New Story about Myself

There is so much to write about, so much to discover, be curious about and learn and so much to simply get through each day in this life. I was reminded while at CCJ (www.ccjasper.com) today about asking myself good questions - those hard questions that at times are difficult to answer. "Whose applause are you living for?" "What are you disappointed with?" "What do you worry about?" Ultimately if we're not focused on God - we make our own idols.

Sometimes I'm very creative and think about life out of the box. It is much more than cause and effect, or consequence and blessing. Our words mean something...what we do means something...
I'm thinking more along the lines of how each of our actions affects someone else whether we realize it or not. We might inspire or deter someone to make a decision simply by our own growth. Example: if I begin growing and working to become more healthy in my daily life inevitably this will also move onto someone else and they might think differently. A friend once told me - give me any choice for a place to eat and that is fine but I will always choose the healthy one. Wow - really? Every time she will choose the healthy one? That was powerful to me because it was a definite. So I started thinking - how would my life change if I had a definite like that or if I practice a definite choice like that? Slowly I've begun to and it has made a difference.
Each time I see a new client and what they are going through it effects me in some way or comes back in my mind later on. I constantly have to work on boundaries because it is so easy to be sucked into another person's life and their worries, troubles and stories. I have to reaffirm and tell myself who I am, who I desire to be and where I'm going just because I'm human.

As you can tell I just feel like writing and writing and writing. Sorting through my thoughts, knowing there is some simplicity in there somewhere.
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Automatic writing. I sometimes use this when I have a lot on my mind. I find a lot of release in simply writing all the thoughts, memories, emotions down. To write without considering grammar or spelling, using any font that speaks to me in the moment – perhaps a script font. I then incorporate the writing into my page, not as journaling per se, but as a decorative element - part of the background. The writing doesn’t have to eligible, only you need to know what you wrote and why. The writing process itself is supposed to be the therapy part, not necessarily being able to read it again at a later point.

Initial Thoughts on "What Not to Wear" Day

Today was the big day I was sort of dreading but excited about...my friend was going with me to Louisville to pick out and try on a new wardrobe (at least the start of one for me).
We kind of had a time-crunch since I had to meet with some other people while there but in the mean time - she picked out all the clothes (off the clearance racks at KOHL'S) while I stared into space and walked the little cart around - all-the-while piling on more and more clothes (it almost tipped over at one point). Occasionally I would look up and say "woah, no way" but otherwise I was willing to try most everything. I kept thinking Stacy or Clinton from "What Not to Wear" on TLC was about to jump out of the racks at me when I did venture off and look at what I thought were "cool" clothes or potentials.

Luckily I did somewhat know my size from previous shopping trips though I never would have picked out even 1/2 or a 1/3 of what she picked out! Purples, greens to name a few. But as I tried on each top and different pair of pants - it was actually fun and a little exciting. This was a first for me.

After two and half hours we exited the store with I think...4 dress pants, and maybe 6 tops? (I'll have to recheck) plus like $150 in savings and then after my meeting ended up at Sears to take home 3 pairs of shoes that automatically fit!! Only one pair of heals mind you and they weren't too bad.

So all in all with discounts, clearance, a gift card and perseverance I now might look like what I know (does that make sense?) -- a professional and with some sort of style. :) Next comes some jewelry which is a hard one for me. I don't know if I can spend some money on "charms" or necklaces.

After that, the hair cut (possible highlights [the first in my life]) and later a more toned body. So it's a start - I'll post a couple of pictures of the venture.

How to Create a Powerful Morning Ritual

It is said that your habits create your destiny. I'd add that your habits also create your confidence, courage and even your creativity! In other words, your daily choices, routines, and seemingly insignificant moments make all the difference in your results.

One of the best ways to generate great results is to create a morning ritual. A powerful morning ritual sets the tone for your entire day - and your entire year! A ritual is personal. A ritual is creative. (Not reactive!) A ritual is what gets YOU on track to create your best day. (And subsequently, your best life!) It can be as simple as a 15-minute routine, or as intense as long-distance running. The important thing is that it becomes a HABIT.

My morning ritual combines a mixture of physical, mental and heart-centered activities to engage each of these human power centers! Here are some ideas to help you create your own powerful morning ritual.

Hydrate First
Many Eastern health practitioners recommend chugging down at least a half-liter of filtered room-temperature water first thing. (Yes, before your coffee!)
Upon waking, your body has spent hours without hydration. Drinking pure water at this time triggers a series of physiological functions that keep your body super healthy. Some report that this one practice can actually heal many diseases. (I'm not a scientist – but I can attest to the amazing results!)

Get Moving
Exercise is called "The Number One Form of Preventive Medicine." It is also a prescription for happiness and a cure for depression! Getting exercise first thing sets your day off right. You can do a simple stretching routine, yoga or an all-out heart-pounding hour at the gym. Pick something do-able and do it.

Meditate [Prayer]
Many people don't meditate because they find it intimidating. I say, start with just 5 minutes. Meditation [prayer] connects you to [God], and to the deep silence that surpasses any drama that might be happening in the world of your personality. Don't worry about doing it right. Just allow yourself the time to BE.

Set Intention
It's true! Your intention is a powerful force to engage. Remembering your intention puts you back on track. You become focused again. Reflect for a moment on your Word of the Year. Read a goal you've written down for yourself. Remind yourself of a financial dream. You don't have to know the HOW. You just need to set the intention so your inner GPS can stay on target!

Be Grateful
Before I get out of bed, I silently create a morning gratitude list. When I begin my day remembering my "gratitudes," (instead of my "anxieties") my heart fills with extreme joy and deep awareness. I then bring that energy into everything I do - and to everyone with whom I connect.

Eat Creative
Your choice of breakfast foods can set up your success with other meals as well. Start your day off in the healthiest way possible for you - and make it a ritual, not a chore.

Be Prepared: Create a Not-to-Do List
Everyone needs a "Not To Do" morning list. Suggestions here include anything that brings up a "reactive" state: Turning on the local news. Checking email. Answering texts. Answering the phone. Let these things wait until AFTER your ritual has been completed!

Your Assignment:
After reading this article, don't just think, "Wow. Those are some good ideas. I should try one or two." Instead, deliberately create your morning ritual now. Take about 20 minutes to think about and write down what your ritual will be each morning. Start simple at first. Choose one or two items from this menu. Or come up with your own. Write out your Ritual in detail. Begin first thing tomorrow morning, and let your habits create YOUR destiny starting now!
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Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with more than 11,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FREE subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.
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Just thinking about what to change in my morning routine to make it more meaningful and something that I will stick with that will bless myself and others instead of sleeping!!
For me tomorrow morning will be: Hydrate First & Get Moving
Then I will implement two more into Saturday and will see what happens.