* be ok with not being as creative
* experiment and try to cook things that are already in our kitchen
* give grace to myself
* try to allow myself to be ok with where I am
* be as productive as possible
* listen to Ian say "hot" "go" and "uh-oh" all day long
* let go of having to take pictures of Ian (can't find the camera anyway)
* say no to things I can't do or do not want to do
2/1/10
* be diligent and connect with others (even if I don't know them well)
* consider working out for only 30 minutes a day (thanks Tammy Love) and not being so extreme or "all or nothing" thinking
* figure out and realize that I feel so much better about myself when I give to others
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Sick Ian and Motherhood, Running
I did not get to do "What Not to Wear" today shopping trip due to Ian's sickness. It wasn't the most fun day I've ever had and at times it really wore on me but in the end my little guy went to bed happy with a full belly from cereal and a little bit of milk. Whitney was nice enough to come over mid-day to entertain him and then have him at his first boy's JV basketball game while I went grocery shopping at Walmart. It never ceases to amaze me how friends are so crucial to my own livelihood and sanity! :)
I have found that when Mark is gone for a trip, I enjoy the quiet in the house so much more at night and find it hard to go to bed. It's almost freeing to know that I can do what I'd like within reason. We usually miss one another after a couple days but find it nice to be apart during those first two days.
I'm watching a Triathlon in Britain and just wishing that I felt the motivation and urge to run. I'm trying to summon the memories of each marathon and the feelings that I had during the runs. I think it is just starting that is the hardest for me to do right now. If/when I start and am two weeks into training then I will be ok - but until then I just beat myself up. We've paid to go to the Pig (Cincinnati) but with Ian it's just not as easy. Oh well - this is a boring post but at least I'm caught up with the experience of being with Ian all day, thinking about fixing more food, and finding new creative ways to stay sane. :)
I have found that when Mark is gone for a trip, I enjoy the quiet in the house so much more at night and find it hard to go to bed. It's almost freeing to know that I can do what I'd like within reason. We usually miss one another after a couple days but find it nice to be apart during those first two days.
I'm watching a Triathlon in Britain and just wishing that I felt the motivation and urge to run. I'm trying to summon the memories of each marathon and the feelings that I had during the runs. I think it is just starting that is the hardest for me to do right now. If/when I start and am two weeks into training then I will be ok - but until then I just beat myself up. We've paid to go to the Pig (Cincinnati) but with Ian it's just not as easy. Oh well - this is a boring post but at least I'm caught up with the experience of being with Ian all day, thinking about fixing more food, and finding new creative ways to stay sane. :)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
What Not to Wear
I would most definitely be a candidate for the Cable show "What Not to Wear" since my staple clothes are jeans, t-shirts and sweatshirts. It is rare to see me "dressed up" and my dressing up includes nice pants and a nice shirt. So I enlisted my friend Shannan to help me out and one night she and I (mostly she) emptied out half of my closet. There was a huge pile on my bed and I was able to take some to My Best Friend's Closet to get some cash but the majority of the pile was not accepted respectfully (those clothes are not in style at all).
So what I need: clothes that actually fit my body type
* nice slacks * in-style tops * long-sleeve nice tops
* cool jewelry * shoes with actual heels
* some slimming under-layers * did I mention shoes (I HATE shoe-shopping)
Shoe cost waaayyy too much and if they hurt my feet then there is no reason I should be wearing them. Shannan says "style is pain" - now that is dramatic so we'll see.
* shapely sweaters * skirts * hey a new hair-cut would go nicely with it as well!
Now I just have to figure out what I can squeeze out of our budget in order to get some of these items and begin a rebuilding of a wardrobe for professional attire, causal wear, and then at some point "appropriate" sport wear.
So what I need: clothes that actually fit my body type
* nice slacks * in-style tops * long-sleeve nice tops
* cool jewelry * shoes with actual heels
* some slimming under-layers * did I mention shoes (I HATE shoe-shopping)
Shoe cost waaayyy too much and if they hurt my feet then there is no reason I should be wearing them. Shannan says "style is pain" - now that is dramatic so we'll see.
* shapely sweaters * skirts * hey a new hair-cut would go nicely with it as well!
Now I just have to figure out what I can squeeze out of our budget in order to get some of these items and begin a rebuilding of a wardrobe for professional attire, causal wear, and then at some point "appropriate" sport wear.
Today
Ian had a 102 fever...he screamed for half of the evening and wouldn't let me put him down but eventually he was more ok and after watching the cars go by in front of our house for 45 minute (literally) he calmed down and let me feed him and get him some liquids then he was ok... played a little and now he's in bed....and I'm listening to the varsity game on the radio.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Excerpt from Steady Days by Jamie C. Martin
Marilyn Paul, a successful management consultant, confronts the issue of organization in her book, It’s Hard to Make a Difference When You Can’t Find Your Keys. She states, “Organization is deeper and more powerful than I once thought. It’s not only about freeing ourselves from clutter or putting ‘everything in its place.’ It’s about expanding our sense of personal efficacy. It’s also about discovering courage and dignity, and living our true life purpose.”
It’s easy to think of surface-level problems and results when discussing organization. But the roots go much deeper. As Marilyn Paul describes, piles of papers and other types of disorganization drain us mentally and emotionally. This leaves less of us fully available to our children [and ourselves]. Maintaining this panoramic view of organization will help us find the energy to take necessary steps toward change.
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I struggle with this - organization, disorganization, stress
It’s easy to think of surface-level problems and results when discussing organization. But the roots go much deeper. As Marilyn Paul describes, piles of papers and other types of disorganization drain us mentally and emotionally. This leaves less of us fully available to our children [and ourselves]. Maintaining this panoramic view of organization will help us find the energy to take necessary steps toward change.
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I struggle with this - organization, disorganization, stress
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Thoughts on Obedience, Sleep, Blessings
Realizing how a day full of therapy appointments really drains me and excites me all at the same time. People coming to change, to enact change, to be apart of change and to embrace change. That is a pretty tall order. Such amazing people I see who really question themselves and the people around them.
I'm realizing as I question myself that sleep is an idol to me. I go to it (or at least I desire it) for my comfort and for my rest and for my "start-over" for my day if it didn't start out well. God's expressed to me that if I obey Him (which is all He asks) that then He will turn my struggle into victory and will show me what I need to do in order to be in line with His will. What an exciting thought but as we all know as humans I don't want to change. I want to stay the same doing the insane thing of thinking that my understanding and thinking are somehow working for me (which they are not).
I wonder how other people work through their idols and give them up and move on from them into obedience. I've done it before and have been so blessed by it. I am working on my "break a habit in 21 days" and since I started it I do feel better in that respect and I do believe that I have been blessed. I've felt called to go back into helping out with basketball with the girls and so there is another purpose for my evenings or late afternoons. I cherish my time with Ian and with Mark a little bit more and I feel a little bit more like myself. I was offered another PRN job for in-home social work, accepted it, and was trained in it. Things are looking up but I get down waaaay too easily thinking my life is different from everyone else's which it is not. Working in isolation is not a good thing nor a healthy thing and neither is existing in isolation. We must all come together.
I'm realizing as I question myself that sleep is an idol to me. I go to it (or at least I desire it) for my comfort and for my rest and for my "start-over" for my day if it didn't start out well. God's expressed to me that if I obey Him (which is all He asks) that then He will turn my struggle into victory and will show me what I need to do in order to be in line with His will. What an exciting thought but as we all know as humans I don't want to change. I want to stay the same doing the insane thing of thinking that my understanding and thinking are somehow working for me (which they are not).
I wonder how other people work through their idols and give them up and move on from them into obedience. I've done it before and have been so blessed by it. I am working on my "break a habit in 21 days" and since I started it I do feel better in that respect and I do believe that I have been blessed. I've felt called to go back into helping out with basketball with the girls and so there is another purpose for my evenings or late afternoons. I cherish my time with Ian and with Mark a little bit more and I feel a little bit more like myself. I was offered another PRN job for in-home social work, accepted it, and was trained in it. Things are looking up but I get down waaaay too easily thinking my life is different from everyone else's which it is not. Working in isolation is not a good thing nor a healthy thing and neither is existing in isolation. We must all come together.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Nugget for 2010
Surround yourself with people who inspire you.
You know how important it is to cultivate a mindset of promise and can-do spirit -- and how attractive that is to new opportunities. After all, what we think and say has everything to do with what turns up and how things turn out.
A key action step is to actively cultivate this mindset by choosing the circle of people around you. You'll be encouraged and inspired by those who have confidence in the future, and have made leaps of faith themselves. This is especially true for those who follow God and pursue Him.
(This is why I do the work I do...and have the intimate friends I have. It's so I can be connected to people who are investing themselves in the future.)
So seek out those who have faith in the future ... those who believe in an expansive and confident view. And figure out how you can be in their company. Just a dose, here and there, can nourish you.
You know how important it is to cultivate a mindset of promise and can-do spirit -- and how attractive that is to new opportunities. After all, what we think and say has everything to do with what turns up and how things turn out.
A key action step is to actively cultivate this mindset by choosing the circle of people around you. You'll be encouraged and inspired by those who have confidence in the future, and have made leaps of faith themselves. This is especially true for those who follow God and pursue Him.
(This is why I do the work I do...and have the intimate friends I have. It's so I can be connected to people who are investing themselves in the future.)
So seek out those who have faith in the future ... those who believe in an expansive and confident view. And figure out how you can be in their company. Just a dose, here and there, can nourish you.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Boundaries
We all need them and it is astounding the amount of clients I see that have issues with saying yes or no to particular people in their life just to keep them happy or not wanting to ruffle their features.
Part of the Preface from the upcoming Boundaries Care Group that will be done at our church includes:
"Many people who want to have healthy lives are unsure about when it is appropriate to say no and set limits. They want to have good relationships and grow spiritually, but they often find it difficult to take ownership of their choices, freedom, and responsibilities. In a word, they do not have good boundaries." When confronted about their lack of boundaries, these people raise important questions:
*Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
*What if my boundaries upset or hurt someone?
*What can I say to someone who wants my time, love, energy or money?
*Whey do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
*Are boundaries selfish?
*Why is it difficult for me to hear no from people?
Our goal is to help people use healthy boundaries appropriately to achieve the relationships and purposes that God intends for you. We want to help people see how boundaries operate in relationhips, in tasks and in your spiritual life.
Boundaries result in Freedom --- I'm still workin' it for me
Part of the Preface from the upcoming Boundaries Care Group that will be done at our church includes:
"Many people who want to have healthy lives are unsure about when it is appropriate to say no and set limits. They want to have good relationships and grow spiritually, but they often find it difficult to take ownership of their choices, freedom, and responsibilities. In a word, they do not have good boundaries." When confronted about their lack of boundaries, these people raise important questions:
*Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
*What if my boundaries upset or hurt someone?
*What can I say to someone who wants my time, love, energy or money?
*Whey do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
*Are boundaries selfish?
*Why is it difficult for me to hear no from people?
Our goal is to help people use healthy boundaries appropriately to achieve the relationships and purposes that God intends for you. We want to help people see how boundaries operate in relationhips, in tasks and in your spiritual life.
Boundaries result in Freedom --- I'm still workin' it for me
Monday, January 18, 2010
Today was...
relaxing, productive, fun, good for my soul, and enjoyable
laundry, clean-up, de-cluttering, Ian saying "baby" finally in my presence, Ian's smile, spending time with a friend and having a great meeting at CCJ
Reading about Mourning and Moving On from One in a Million - thinking about a friend while reading...a lot.
laundry, clean-up, de-cluttering, Ian saying "baby" finally in my presence, Ian's smile, spending time with a friend and having a great meeting at CCJ
Reading about Mourning and Moving On from One in a Million - thinking about a friend while reading...a lot.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
We Discovered...
We (Ian and Mommy) together discovered what it is like to sit in a chair that rotates around in a circle. Ian kept sitting in it and mommy kept twirling the chair. You could see his eyes thinking "this is making me feel weird". :)
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Sick ALL Week
I didn't realize I hadn't written here this entire week but I have been sick and not really online much. God has been doing a lot with me and showed me several things this past week:
* when I read more and research more again about counseling & the therapeutic approaches I feel so much more competent in my profession (it is so true)
* God is bigger than me and He knows what people already need
* speaking with close friends really does help me out so much --- it's about feeling loved and appreciated
* as my facebook status at one point said: "living in a slower world and realizing that this life is more about people than productivity or even success (sickness does that to you)"
* my craft area and creativity needs to wait while I grow in my professional knowledge and intuition (I've slacked on that)
* it's about people, people, people and their stories
* no tastebuds = good portion control & easier to stop when full
* little boy learned to walk in circles around the basement pole and thought he was so amazing doing it!
* communicating with Mark is such a process & hard work -- it helps counseling couples and seeing where they mess up sometimes, it motivates me to work harder and to give Mark more grace when he doesn't "get" me
* when I read more and research more again about counseling & the therapeutic approaches I feel so much more competent in my profession (it is so true)
* God is bigger than me and He knows what people already need
* speaking with close friends really does help me out so much --- it's about feeling loved and appreciated
* as my facebook status at one point said: "living in a slower world and realizing that this life is more about people than productivity or even success (sickness does that to you)"
* my craft area and creativity needs to wait while I grow in my professional knowledge and intuition (I've slacked on that)
* it's about people, people, people and their stories
* no tastebuds = good portion control & easier to stop when full
* little boy learned to walk in circles around the basement pole and thought he was so amazing doing it!
* communicating with Mark is such a process & hard work -- it helps counseling couples and seeing where they mess up sometimes, it motivates me to work harder and to give Mark more grace when he doesn't "get" me
Monday, January 11, 2010
Allowing Myself to Go
This day I allowed myself to go to the girl's basketball vs. Gibson Southern. At least the JV - we had to get Ian home for bed and myself since I'm sick before the Varsity game really started. I was glad to see the JV play and to see the V girls in person with Ian. It was comforting.
Change Your Thoughts or a Habit in 21 Days
I'm taking the challenge to change a particular habit in my life in 21 days. I'm taking a calendar and marking things down and committing to this venture. I pray my thoughts will change toward this habit and subsequently towards how I view myself.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Today
So today I decided to be purposeful (allowed myself to be) since I actually had the energy to do so and realize how much more fun Ian is when I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere or do anything. He brought books to me even when I was making lunch and simply found new discoveries around each corner of the house. As per my "give" word for today (where I give something to someone or myself) I have not given anything to anyone yet today so it might be a surprise in the long run. This blog is just for me anyway.
Nuggets for 2010
* Look at things from many different perspectives; however, always choose one that is positive.
* Plan fun things in the future.
* Expect success.
* Take time to prepare yourself each and every day.
* Appreciate the beauty around you.
* Experience new places and new things.
* Give to people in need.
* Never let fear stop you.
* Never compare; appreciate each in its own way.
* Spend time sharing with friends and family.
And also, on a personal note...if all else fails, go shopping.
* Plan fun things in the future.
* Expect success.
* Take time to prepare yourself each and every day.
* Appreciate the beauty around you.
* Experience new places and new things.
* Give to people in need.
* Never let fear stop you.
* Never compare; appreciate each in its own way.
* Spend time sharing with friends and family.
And also, on a personal note...if all else fails, go shopping.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Allowing Myself to Be Inspired
"I was inspired this morning by my one-year old discovering his shadow in a sun-lit window. I wish I would have had a camera for that moment but I didn't. I'll just have to remember him twirling around and around trying to catch a glimpse at this thing following him."
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