Dave Ramsey "Budgeting" Money Makeover - 1/10

Utilizing this video for the Financial Management date night with budget sheets!! Yay!

Getting Up

The greatest feat, is getting up after you fall down. And you do it again, and again, and again. But it never really does get old.

I'm reminded of many couples I see and friends I have where you have a fight or another argument and that last argument "was it" for you, you've had it and you're done or the world tells you "get out" and yet it is relearning to get back up and to humble yourself before God...and possibly before your partner or even standing strong with humility. It's the art of getting back up that makes life exciting and torturous. Moving forward, keeping on and not stopping. When you stop or runaway - that is when things get messy UNLESS it is full about face where you're going towards God and away from your own way.

We all fall, we all stumble and we all have to get back up.

Are you Living in Fear and/or Anxiety?

These two emotions/creatures whatever you want to call them drive so many of our actions and often we are unaware of this. We simply react to situations and others as if our reactions are simply from our personality or just "natural" but there is nothing natural about fear. We weren't born with fear - we learned fear along with anxiety from our surroundings and possibly some of us from some biological roots.

In Bowen's model - he considers how chronic anxiety can be transmitted generationally through families:
family emotional processes are transferred and maintained over several generations -- Passing chronic anxiety from generation to generation
Think about your family - did this occur? I know it did for me. It was more anxiety than fear for me but that followed along eventually.

It's interesting how this theory resonates with me and speaks of the term "differentiation" which refers to how a person is able to separate thoughts and emotions from their family-of-origin rather than being controlled by anxiety (this is my wording)
This is taken from "Study Guide for MFT" by Dr. Linton Hutchinson for my studying for the exam:

A differentiated self is able to be guided by thoughts or emotion
* They recognize they need others (HOW MANY OF US WON'T ASK FOR HELP)
* But they depend less on the acceptance and approval of others
* Individuals who are differentiated:
Are able to stay rational, clear headed, and able to critically assess the situation without being
clouded by emotion even when faced with rejection, conflict, or criticism
These family members are confident in their own thinking, and they make their decisions thoughtfully
(not because they are giving in to relationship pressures)
They can either support another family member's point of view without becoming wishy-washy or reject
another's viewpoint without becoming hostile (BOUNDARIES)

It goes on to say for this model - I found this interesting and I've thought about this a lot with working with families.
* It describes the primary way parents transmit their emotional problems to a child
* For example: 1. The child that receives projection will have trouble differentiating
2. This will, in turn, effect his interactions with his own spouse and/or children
* The parent focuses on a child out of fear that something is wrong with the child
* The parent interprets the child's behavior as confirming the fear
* The parent treats the child as if something is really wrong with the child

A lot of times parents "self-propheci" their children into their fears. The phrase that comes to mind for me are mothers who tell their daughters "you're going to get fat if you eat that" OR paranoia over a child's potential to drink alcohol (so instead of educating them you just assume they are doing it out of fear).

Just some interesting thoughts - you couldn't grow up not being affected by your family's level of anxiety, fear or differentiation but as an adult you have choices and can be aware of how you react.
Different models and worldviews have different perspectives so of course this is just one. But one that I do see some validity in for sure.

MONOGRAM Canvas

It takes about 30-40 minutes to complete.
Materials Needed:
•4”x 4” blank canvas
•2 - 4″x 6″ pieces of decorative paper
•Modge Podge - Matte OR some other adhesive glue
•Foam Brush
•Scissors or Paper Cutter
•Embellishments [butterflies, letters, magazine clippings]
Step One: Gather all your supplies in one spot.

Step Two: Arrange the decorate papers in a design you like. Tear the long edge of the patterned paper towards you.


Step Three: Paint the canvas part you will cover with Modge Podge. Place the plainest paper on the canvas first then glue on the patterned paper after you tear the edge. Smooth out air bubbles and edges with your fingers carefully (this can get a bit messy). Be careful not to peel off the paper by rubbing the bubbles out too hard.



Step Four: Glue down any curled up edges and place Modge Podge on top the paper where you will place your letters and magazine clippings. Put ‘em on! (Wait to place any felt letters on!)


Step Five: Directly apply Modge Podge glue or adhesive to the back of the felt letter (if you have one) and place where you would like it. Press down and let dry. Place on any other embellishments & hang up! IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT – MAKE IT YOUR OWN!

Allow Yourself Today - Activity

TODAY update your closest friend(s) on how you are doing -- give a "real" update - allow yourself to be open.

My "real" update for today is - figuring out my own schedule. Do I work on client letters, reconnecting with those I have not heard from......or do I study for my exam? OR do I update my to-do lists...work on basketball girls' monogram project...?

Decisions, choices and plans - always moving, always changing.

The Art of Feeding a Toddler

Feeding A Toddler: Tips for healthy eating at Pampers.com

Right now we are going through a time of fun, frustration and as I read more and more normal transitions with Ian as he grows and explores and figures out all of this food stuff. Sometimes it drives us crazy!! This was a good article plus I got some menus and hopefully this will help us with meals times. Otherwise they end up being wars even if I stay as patient as possible. Stomping, screaming, crying.....grrrrrrr...
Feeding A Toddler: Tips for healthy eating at Pampers.com

Celebrating Mum

Just for the fun of this - I found this photo on Margaret's blog and loved it. Though I'm not British I do have an alter-ego who is and she wishes her Mum a wonderful day!

A Week in the Life

Someday I will do the project "A Week in the Life" that Ali Edwards talks about and that Iara (love that name by the way did). I love hers! Go to here.

Gluttony & Cookies

So I am a sucker for sweets and for chocolate and for sugar. I just gorged on a number of cookies and I realize continually how thankful I am that God helps to remind me that gluttony is a sin and that I need to turn from it. Thank you for stomach-aches! Yes I know it sounds weird but I am thankful for that consequence so I won't do it again.

I realized also that when I was running in the mornings last week that my decisions about food and my body-image were much more positive and really made a difference in how I interacted with my own world. There was a shift that occurred. I want to write about that because it really meant something to me. I was surprised by it, I had more energy and was much more purposeful with how I dealt with life - especially Mark and Ian. I was calmer, more self-confident and felt like I accomplished something.
Then.....I got sick, ran early Saturday and could not Sunday or Monday...got worse Tuesday and now it is Wednesday. So tomorrow I AM RUNNING! We humans really do put ourselves in predicaments when we allow ourselves to make bad decision after bad decision.
There is a commercial out now that depicts eating a cereal bar to start out your day will lead to better choices because you feel better about yourself. I am convinced of this however I often do not take the time to begin with the healthy choices so then it's easier to give in and give up. All to say - I messed up and now need to move on...

The Sweetest Sound...

One of the Sweetest Sound possibly to be heard is our little man at bedtime. We put him down about 8-8:30 every single night and it never fails. For at least 30-45 minutes he sits in his crib with his blanket, his green round pillow and his white bunny and just talks...and talks...and laughs and sings. He says his vowels like he knows what he is talking about and Mark and I just sit in our living room listening to him and relaxing. It truly is the sweetest sound...especially when he laughs and you can tell that then he puts his face into his blanket or bunny and just yyyyuuuuuummmmmmmms sounds in it.
It's the sound of innocence and purity. Just pure joy coming from a little creature of God.

Extraordinary or Ordinary Couple

If your marriage was going to be made into a movie and one day it will belong to your kids or family in the future, do you want it to read “Extraordinary” or “Just OK: They kind of Survived”…”Tragedy”…. “Divorce”…What would you want for it to read?
What will make you different? How will you make it?


What is your vision for your marriage?


For Mark & I - our movie title would be: "Extraordinary: a Journey of the Quirkie and Committed OR In It to Win It OR A Journey of Grace

Mark put "Striving for better than Ordinary"...

Flying Pig Half Marathon 2010

I continually find it interesting that every single race I run (6 half marathons later & 3 marathons) that each race is truly unique in its own right. I've done the Half twice now in Cinci and the full once and I LOVE the course, even when I feel like my lungs are going to explode up the hill on mile 6 and around Eden Park. And though I'm out of shape moreso than I ever have been for a race, I still got a 2:13 which is ok. 2:03 is my PR and I knew I was not going to hit that at all.

I had to do a 2:00:1:00 (run/walk) all the way up the hills because my legs weren't as prepared this year as in year's past but the downhill....woah that still felt great and I know I can fly by people every time...I just have to know that I will be humbled again when it comes to a flat or a hill where those same people I passed will somewhat creep up on me.

This year the change was....RAIN....RAIN....RAIN but it was warm rain and I was prepared. It kept me from having blisters and really cooled off everyone. We were all in the same boat. It began to feel good to me. Another difference the start is so packed but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. I really do not like corral starts - they drive me crazy...get me over that start line in 5-15 minutes but not 30-60 minutes. I'm ok with it, and I inevitably always hear interesting conversations even if it might be complaining...and inevitably there will be walkers right at the start....sometimes 3 across - sometimes 5. PLEASE DO NOT EVER START BY WALKING UNLESS YOU ARE IN THE VERY BACK - IT IS ANNOYING!
Other differences: Our pit-crew (our parents) weren't with us this year as they usually are so that was different. We stayed in a Quality Inn that felt like we were in a horror movie as we walked through the halls and thought two dead children were going to pop out at any time (reference to a film I will never see), but the room was ok and nice.

Alas, some similarities - I still am so anxious about the morning parking situation and walking to the start. Since we were late to one 10k about 3 years ago in Louisville (really, really late) I just freak out - poor Mark but he does a little bit too. We always seem to have a spat before a race and it always turns out ok but it's intense. BEWARE IF YOU EVER COME WITH US - LOL.

But it still felt great to be there, to feel alive and feel your body unlike any other time...to know that your body is being cleaned out and that you just go. So many different body types that God made and wow.....I guess my hips aren't as big as I think compared to other women but geesh some of them kick my butt with speed. Some fighting cancer, some eating disorders, some to fight depression, and others just doing it to do it and mark it off a bucket list. I think my list keeps getting checked off...I guess I need to sky-dive next and not run another race.

The Expo was run and the meal after the race - YUMMY - Red Lobster with Whitney and Paula Quinn Ruff. Man that was great! and Diet Pepsi!!!! I love that meal - calories really don't count. So again...I miss the races and the city but I'm glad to be where we are and hope to do more but admit, would still like to do a triathlon - the stars just have to align just right and Ian will need to be a little bigger I think. And Mark did ggggrreeeaaatttt!! 1:54 time.

Until next time!