It seems impossible that I haven't written here since last year in October.
At the same time between moving, reorienting, housing renting then buying, then holidays then narrowly almost losing my mother to septic shock, then COVID-19 quarantine and summer...so much has transpired.
It felt eerie from March - June with the global shut-down. It was a familiar feeling to us as a family.
See we lost our community, our church family, our reasons for staying in Ohio beginning September 2018 until we moved to Northern KY in August 2019.
It was almost a full year without deep friendships, laughter around tables, discussions about life and growth. It was SURVIVAL.
We only had each other, the boys, our dog, our cat, each other.
The world was experiencing what we had essentially experienced just months before.
We'd only go through drive throughs because if felt too painful to encounter old/former friends who abandoned (our view) us or to encounter a person who had no clue what we were enduring with the separation from the church that was never our intention nor our choice.
Churches as families are representations of God's son Jesus Christ's relationship with his bride. The gospel speaks of undeserved grace and of repentance. Reconciliation is at the heart of God's plan.
A Church is like an ER for the soul-hurting heart and shows God to those brokenhearted and in need of grace. But "when the grace runs out..." human decision-making can be tainted.
I digress, there is so much more to this story but that's not the point of this post.
It's been 2 years since I shared my struggle and my son's struggle with depression to our small group at the time (near friends we considered family) and that Mark shared his dark place too........we never received the chance to follow-up with those former friends to tell them what a weight was lifted during that evening discussion of sharing (we experienced the day and week after)....since our confidence was betrayed and they didn't know how to walk alongside us and spoke about it to others.
Secret meetings, misunderstanding, leaving my voice out of discussions. It was 2 years ago that our world began to flip around and 20 more days until we were abandoned to go "heal" separate from those who had previously supported us. LESSON LEARNED: IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN A FRIEND REACHES OUT IN PAIN...DO SOMETHING. The phrase "I'll pray for you" became a curse phrase to us...DO SOMETHING. Bring a meal, sit and listen, send a text or make a call.
DON'T ASSUME.
The pain still hurts but I do see now...God's hand, provision and his protection.
