What is a Good Life?

In asking this question, various responses come across my lips.
Is it a life where I get everything I want?
Is it a life where there is no pain?
Is it a life that provides for the needs of others?
Is it a life that the world deems as good because something was done?
Is it a life glistening with sparkles and glitz and glamour?
What is a Good Life?
Is it a life that produces a cure for a disease?
Is it a life that propels us into living "our best life now"?
Is it a life where you have received love from others?
Is it a life where there is no rain or storms?
Is it a life that seeks only the good of others but at the expense of the person living it?
Is it a life where smiling is the hallmark sign of living?
Is it a life where food, shelter and clothing are present?
What is a Good Life?
Is it a life where one reads on a beach, sipping a cold drink?
Is it a life carpooling kids from one activity to the next with occasional rest?
Is it a life laying on the ground watching the stars in the night and the birds in the sky during the day?
Is it a life surrounded by peace and tranquility?
Is it a life with yearnings and longings?
Is it a life that dreams?
Is it a life that burns the midnight oil working towards a goal?
Again what is a Good Life?
Is it a life that leaves a legacy?
Is it a life that outlives you?
Is it a life that may be hidden between book covers ready for the next person to read?
Is it a life of service or striving?
Is it a life worth living? Yes, yes it is.

But is a good life...a God life? Meaning, if you get all you want or long for and yet God was never in it, the very Creator who brought you to life, then is it really good?
If you live a life of service to your fellow human beings, yet never take the time to connect to the Being who has all the answers and who comforts beyond reasoning, then is it really good? I can see that it could be good, but it is still missing the essential-God.

The Beautiful Creative Chaos

I have never been able to put words to the beautiful creative chaos that happens when I have painted or done some project with my hands. But yes, this is true quotes from Kelly Rae sums it up:

I have learned over the years as a creative that when inspiration hits, all balance goes out the window and your whole life gets tossed into the air. Everything is chaos and unorganized and untethered while Spirit uses us to weave magic and beauty and cohesion from the tossed up pieces. 

I find that I sort of lose my sense of center and groundedness while I'm up in the air swirling about in creation mode. When all the dust settles, restoration is essential while I quiet it all back down, and in a way come back down and ground out. Any other creatives go through this process? Please say yes. 

After going through this process more than once over the years, I've learned to pause. To celebrate. To give gratitude to the process and the people that made and will continue to make it happen. To reconnect with my friends and myself. To be present. #SeekBrighterTreasures  

AND in fact the last 2 years I have kept an organized home and it's driven me somewhat nuts because I have not allowed myself to paint or really create with my hands. They are always cleaning up or organizing. It makes sense. I have allowed the dust to settle and have been re-grounding into something new. It's inspiring.

Confession :: I am an Adrenaline Junkie

I am an Adrenaline junkie. 
It's a realization that I had not considered until recently.

In the past I have tried to maintain a balance of how much daily caffeine or sugar I allow myself to have, simply because I know it impacts my moods. The "high" is nice but the crash is not.

Within the last 3 weeks I have experienced various "withdrawal" symptoms, including body aches, fatigue, racing thoughts and what seems like my heart skipping beats. I have watched my pulse and I can see somewhat when it happens.

Yesterday I thought was going into a panic attack of some sort but then realized I had drank my pre-workout drink (that has caffeine) but that I hadn't began my workout yet in the allotted time and so my heart-rate increased while I was sitting still.

The Adrenaline part is fascinating though because I am one who becomes determined when I have deadlines. When there are events to plan and people to contact and projects to finish I can put my game face on. It usually begins with a little anxiety knowing that something must be done and then my body gives me a shot of adrenaline that helps me propel forward.

However, I have developed a tolerance level and need more adrenaline in order to keep up the same pace. It's the same thing when a friend in crisis reaches out to me and I see an opportunity to help or encourage. I get a shot of adrenaline. But this has become a cycle, because after all the adrenaline is gone then I crash.
AND I crash hard.

I used to believe that my "shutdown" was because of major stressors, but now I have come to see that this is a pattern. I go, go, go and then crash. My body shuts down, my mind goes into a fog and if I am not careful to fuel it with healthy food as well as healthy mindsets then I almost black out.

My husband and boys can attest to this. I have to go into my bedroom, shut off the lights and shut out the world and just lay there and try to sleep it off. It's miserable and it has to stop.

A story of Redemption rather than a story of Perfection.

In 2018-2019, I experienced major heartbreak and darkness. It was shocking. My family and I are still feeling the impact many months later. There has continued to be a ripple effect of new-normals that have been painful, alongside re-injuries that happen when dealing with relationships and human beings. The details may stay muted, but in time, everyone will know a fuller story.

I share this pain, not for sympathy, but because I want to offer a glimpse of how I've gone through the pain and disappointment. Life does not necessarily turn out how we would like it to be. When we do a 5 or 10 year plan, there is so much that is out of our control and variables we will never see. The plot twists, diagnoses, betrayals, side-conversations, broken friendships, misunderstandings, weight of the world and I could go on.

But as I am learning, I'd rather see a story of redemption rather than a story of perfection. I'd rather replace the habit of mindlessly consuming with the practice of creating. I'd rather contribute beauty to this world than give out bitterness.

The Courage to Let Go begins with the Willingness to Walk-Away
The Problem is Never the Things rather the Problem is our Attachment to Things