This summer has been a little bit of a whirlwind as most summer's are I guess. Ian has went from my "eerrrr" "errrr" - sounding guy to "this, this" and "apple, manna?" and being able to let us know more and more what he would like to have. He is taller and had this first real injury that went beyond a scrap and bruise.
Mark and I are trying to navigate through different routines and every-changing relationship communication about various situations. It really is ever-changing. Some days have been way too hot to venture out and some days have been so gorgeous that I can barely contain myself. We haven't swam as much as I thought we would and really have not done too many "summery" things besides going to Cedar Point (Mark & I) and then running through some little fountains. I think Ian has gotten his summer "fix" with Ms. Ambra during weekdays - playing outsides on the slide, riding the little motorcycle and jumping into the little pool this has.
I haven't eaten any more sandwiches than usual, which growing up we had sandwiches every-single-day. We're getting back into running but didn't run in the extreme heat.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Stop the Splatter! How to Reclaim Your Attention and Get More Done
MY NOTE: I am beginning to believe more and more that how we use media is actually more debtrimental for us than the "learning" that we gain when we use it at non-productive times --- when we really should be having downtime - or when it would be beneficial to do so. With that, I don't think I will ever get a cell phone plan that has internet with it. Too much distraction.
This is an article by Christine Kane
Have you ever been at home all day when there's nothing in the fridge?
You open the door. You poke your head in. You hum a little tune and look around. You sigh. You grab a handful of pine nuts. You go back to your desk.
About an hour later, you're hungry.
So you go back to the fridge and look again. Nothing new has appeared. You pull out some black olives, put them on a saucer, and go back to your desk.
You think, "I should go out and get something to eat." But you don't. A part of you is convinced that a solution will appear. Maybe a Sous Chef will arrive at your door.
Amazingly, this doesn't happen. Eventually you're back at the fridge. You look in. Then, you close the door, reach up to the cereal cabinet and grab a handful of Kashi...
What happens in this scenario is that you eat all day, but you never feel satisfied. By 5pm, you're strung out, unfulfilled, and you wonder why.
Here's why:
You ate. But you never actually fed yourself. We do this exact same thing with our attention. We dabble in random things. But we never really commit to anything.
I call it Attention Splatter. It's when you mindlessly and half-heartedly splatter your attention on non-activities. But you never fully engage.
Remember this: Your attention ultimately feeds you. It feeds your heart and your mind. This is why it's so important to notice what you give your attention to. This is also why splattered attention leaves you unfulfilled. You never actually feed yourself.
The most common Attention Splatter culprits are:
* Email * Cell phones * Clutter * Internet
* Television
If you are prone to Attention Splatter, here are seven ways to feed yourself and get more done.
1 - Have no more than three priorities for the day. There's only so many things you can get done in a day and still enjoy the day. Get into the habit of spending five minutes each night deciding what one thing you want to get done the next day. Ask yourself, "If I only accomplish one thing tomorrow, which one thing would make me most happy?"
2 - Know the task before you sit down at the computer. This is a must. When you don't do this, you can get lost in the millions of non-items that any computer has to offer.
Assign tasks. (i.e. "Clean out email folders") Assign times. ("From 1pm to 2pm") Stop as soon as the end time arrives.
3 - Put an end to activities that leak. Make a list of "leaky" activities, and stop the leak by scheduling these activities. (As opposed to letting them take over your day.)
For instance, instead of letting email leak all over your day - all day every day - schedule email as an activity at a certain time each day. Every activity should have a home - a space for its completion. Otherwise, you set yourself up for a full day of splatter.
4 - Leverage your small slices of time. It's easy to look up at the clock and see that you have, say, 45 minutes before an appointment and think, "Well, I don't have time to do anything substantial. So, I guess I'll just go on line."
Turn your thinking around! Learn to fit constructive things in to small slices of time. It's amazing what you can complete in a short focused slice of time!
5 - Use your intention. Before you begin any activity, set an intention for that activity. Intend your desired outcome and how you want to feel during the activity. This is the ultimate act of creativity.
6 - Get rid of anything that doesn't feed you. Incoming emails, group emails, magazine subscriptions, news aggregate feeds, TiVo, memberships, unread books...
The list of incoming stuff goes on and on. Get your life in order. Get rid of anything that doesn't feed you. If you subscribe to it, ask yourself why. Start letting go of stuff. Doing this one thing has helped me create a home and office environment that is healthy and sacred. Be ruthless about keeping the incoming stuff to a minimum.
7 - Be present in your down-time. When you take a nap, take a nap. When you take a Saturday off, really take it off. Don't spend the day obsessing about the things you should be doing. Turn off the computer. Get out of your office. Go away.
Fully disengaging from all of it for fun is imperative. Plus, this will allow you to return with renewed energy and attention!
This is an article by Christine Kane
Have you ever been at home all day when there's nothing in the fridge?
You open the door. You poke your head in. You hum a little tune and look around. You sigh. You grab a handful of pine nuts. You go back to your desk.
About an hour later, you're hungry.
So you go back to the fridge and look again. Nothing new has appeared. You pull out some black olives, put them on a saucer, and go back to your desk.
You think, "I should go out and get something to eat." But you don't. A part of you is convinced that a solution will appear. Maybe a Sous Chef will arrive at your door.
Amazingly, this doesn't happen. Eventually you're back at the fridge. You look in. Then, you close the door, reach up to the cereal cabinet and grab a handful of Kashi...
What happens in this scenario is that you eat all day, but you never feel satisfied. By 5pm, you're strung out, unfulfilled, and you wonder why.
Here's why:
You ate. But you never actually fed yourself. We do this exact same thing with our attention. We dabble in random things. But we never really commit to anything.
I call it Attention Splatter. It's when you mindlessly and half-heartedly splatter your attention on non-activities. But you never fully engage.
Remember this: Your attention ultimately feeds you. It feeds your heart and your mind. This is why it's so important to notice what you give your attention to. This is also why splattered attention leaves you unfulfilled. You never actually feed yourself.
The most common Attention Splatter culprits are:
* Email * Cell phones * Clutter * Internet
* Television
If you are prone to Attention Splatter, here are seven ways to feed yourself and get more done.
1 - Have no more than three priorities for the day. There's only so many things you can get done in a day and still enjoy the day. Get into the habit of spending five minutes each night deciding what one thing you want to get done the next day. Ask yourself, "If I only accomplish one thing tomorrow, which one thing would make me most happy?"
2 - Know the task before you sit down at the computer. This is a must. When you don't do this, you can get lost in the millions of non-items that any computer has to offer.
Assign tasks. (i.e. "Clean out email folders") Assign times. ("From 1pm to 2pm") Stop as soon as the end time arrives.
3 - Put an end to activities that leak. Make a list of "leaky" activities, and stop the leak by scheduling these activities. (As opposed to letting them take over your day.)
For instance, instead of letting email leak all over your day - all day every day - schedule email as an activity at a certain time each day. Every activity should have a home - a space for its completion. Otherwise, you set yourself up for a full day of splatter.
4 - Leverage your small slices of time. It's easy to look up at the clock and see that you have, say, 45 minutes before an appointment and think, "Well, I don't have time to do anything substantial. So, I guess I'll just go on line."
Turn your thinking around! Learn to fit constructive things in to small slices of time. It's amazing what you can complete in a short focused slice of time!
5 - Use your intention. Before you begin any activity, set an intention for that activity. Intend your desired outcome and how you want to feel during the activity. This is the ultimate act of creativity.
6 - Get rid of anything that doesn't feed you. Incoming emails, group emails, magazine subscriptions, news aggregate feeds, TiVo, memberships, unread books...
The list of incoming stuff goes on and on. Get your life in order. Get rid of anything that doesn't feed you. If you subscribe to it, ask yourself why. Start letting go of stuff. Doing this one thing has helped me create a home and office environment that is healthy and sacred. Be ruthless about keeping the incoming stuff to a minimum.
7 - Be present in your down-time. When you take a nap, take a nap. When you take a Saturday off, really take it off. Don't spend the day obsessing about the things you should be doing. Turn off the computer. Get out of your office. Go away.
Fully disengaging from all of it for fun is imperative. Plus, this will allow you to return with renewed energy and attention!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
A Message
A Message to a Dear Friend,
I never thought of being a voice for freedom but that really resonates with me. I also found a quote as I was decluttering our kitchen this morning and it says "Inspire others to be their best by being your best." -- it was a Dove chocolate wrapper :)
I wonder if this isn't something God is really pressing on me letting me know that ultimately overcoming my own vices is once again...not about me and actually is attainable in this process I'm in the middle of. I see so many clients who are isolated in their own worlds and are not sharing their lives with others or allowing themselves to receive others' influence. It is only their own understanding and it is failing and not working.
your questions...
How are things going for you? What is on your mind most these days? How are things at church, home, work? Are you working now?
Things are going well when I take a breath out of the water, and acknowledge that I don't have to be so intense about things. Right now I'm trying to consider how to best connect with God and learn, love, and live for Him...while honestly figuring myself out (lol this part I should just let go of and do the God thing first). I know.
I'm not doing basketball anymore and Mark is still doing cross country. What is on my mind most these days? (GREAT QUESTION) the whole mom thing and professional thing....melding those two identities and really living in the present ---- it's a constant battle and Ian brings out the best in me and the worst in me. It is the wildest thing.
Church is going great, people are hungry and most seem to be getting it...home is cluttered and routine, work is fascinating, frustrating and a growth catalyst. I work on Mondays at the hospital doing discharge planning (social work), it is a pressure-cooker job...so many patients, so many tasks - you are always "on". Counseling (Tuesday-Wednesdays) really is a love and though I feel inadequate at times and ask God why?, people are growing. Unfortunately I am also seeing marriages falling apart before my eyes and I can't do a thing about it. I'm allowing myself to stay home today and do housework - something I haven't really done for a long time.
Ian loves to say "more" both in signing and talking...and he points to you if he wants to fist-bump you. yes fist-bump.
So let me turn those questions back around to you: How are things going for you? What is on your mind most these days? How are things at church, home, work?
I never thought of being a voice for freedom but that really resonates with me. I also found a quote as I was decluttering our kitchen this morning and it says "Inspire others to be their best by being your best." -- it was a Dove chocolate wrapper :)
I wonder if this isn't something God is really pressing on me letting me know that ultimately overcoming my own vices is once again...not about me and actually is attainable in this process I'm in the middle of. I see so many clients who are isolated in their own worlds and are not sharing their lives with others or allowing themselves to receive others' influence. It is only their own understanding and it is failing and not working.
your questions...
How are things going for you? What is on your mind most these days? How are things at church, home, work? Are you working now?
Things are going well when I take a breath out of the water, and acknowledge that I don't have to be so intense about things. Right now I'm trying to consider how to best connect with God and learn, love, and live for Him...while honestly figuring myself out (lol this part I should just let go of and do the God thing first). I know.
I'm not doing basketball anymore and Mark is still doing cross country. What is on my mind most these days? (GREAT QUESTION) the whole mom thing and professional thing....melding those two identities and really living in the present ---- it's a constant battle and Ian brings out the best in me and the worst in me. It is the wildest thing.
Church is going great, people are hungry and most seem to be getting it...home is cluttered and routine, work is fascinating, frustrating and a growth catalyst. I work on Mondays at the hospital doing discharge planning (social work), it is a pressure-cooker job...so many patients, so many tasks - you are always "on". Counseling (Tuesday-Wednesdays) really is a love and though I feel inadequate at times and ask God why?, people are growing. Unfortunately I am also seeing marriages falling apart before my eyes and I can't do a thing about it. I'm allowing myself to stay home today and do housework - something I haven't really done for a long time.
Ian loves to say "more" both in signing and talking...and he points to you if he wants to fist-bump you. yes fist-bump.
So let me turn those questions back around to you: How are things going for you? What is on your mind most these days? How are things at church, home, work?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Yes I AM Different
just realized that from a conversation with a client that I AM different after all...our past prepares us for our future and by golly - I'll be preparing my kids through my experience with pain and life's chaos --- just thought that was cool
Monday, August 9, 2010
Different? or not...
I don't know why I think I'm different...but I do.
(NOTE: a revealing post - please do not read further if you desire to see me as an "all-together" person who is always "with it"
Maybe it's my intention or fierce passion to not be a typical "minister's wife" but I guess I am ----- the supportive, caring, compassionate wife who is willing (most of the time) to put her schedule off for his...the understanding listener...modest dresser...and mother who chases around the toddler at church all while daddy shakes people's hands, listens to their stories and is a guide to a weary world.
Maybe it's the "you'd have to know my past" to be able to understand why I want to understand people so much or to be understood. Is it the depression? the postpartum depression? the anxiety that roams my mind? the experiences I had while struggling with a big vice for 8 years? the hurting? the college basketball player who fell short of glory & her potential? the teen who couldn't meet her own expectations or who criticized her body image so much that her view was distorted? the perfectionist who cried herself to sleep or didn't sleep when a term paper was due even on a topic she loved? the little girl who had so much security and confidence about herself until "that relationship or incident happened"? the grad student who wanted to become someone else and reinvented herself? the client sitting in front of the "experts" who were to help her but instead they pigeon-holed her and placed her in a box because she had to be "just like everyone else and that is why she struggled with this or that"? the isolated hermit in her dorm room who seriously contemplated ending everything?
Or maybe I think I'm different because I'm a dreamer, who peruses creative blogs and dreams of creating awesome/meaningful gifts for friends, journals, prints, frames, patterns, quotes, ideas, ideals...freedom...
Maybe it's the not-so-normal mother who struggles to play with her child out of anxiety that he will throw a fit becoming more independent as he needs to, the mom who doesn't want for sugar to touch her baby boy's lips (though realistically in moderation it's ok and she knows that), the mom who doesn't want to be defined by "mom" and plays a tug-of-war with her identity.
Or maybe the woman who knows that perfection isn't attainable and that imperfection really is beautiful, that authenticity and truth are more important than facades and perceived belonging, that friendships which are deep are worth the time but those that are surfacey might as well take a hike, the woman who seeks tranquility while enjoying adventure.
Maybe it's the runner in me who has more of a female softball player's build, who defies quickness and embraces participation over speed, who runs to transform her mind, heart and body, who sees her shorts rubbing against her thighs but realizes it is part of the territory, whose love handles are a-plenty and whose aim is to feel good and feel better.
She comes together, she is me, she is different but not really.
(NOTE: a revealing post - please do not read further if you desire to see me as an "all-together" person who is always "with it"
Maybe it's my intention or fierce passion to not be a typical "minister's wife" but I guess I am ----- the supportive, caring, compassionate wife who is willing (most of the time) to put her schedule off for his...the understanding listener...modest dresser...and mother who chases around the toddler at church all while daddy shakes people's hands, listens to their stories and is a guide to a weary world.
Maybe it's the "you'd have to know my past" to be able to understand why I want to understand people so much or to be understood. Is it the depression? the postpartum depression? the anxiety that roams my mind? the experiences I had while struggling with a big vice for 8 years? the hurting? the college basketball player who fell short of glory & her potential? the teen who couldn't meet her own expectations or who criticized her body image so much that her view was distorted? the perfectionist who cried herself to sleep or didn't sleep when a term paper was due even on a topic she loved? the little girl who had so much security and confidence about herself until "that relationship or incident happened"? the grad student who wanted to become someone else and reinvented herself? the client sitting in front of the "experts" who were to help her but instead they pigeon-holed her and placed her in a box because she had to be "just like everyone else and that is why she struggled with this or that"? the isolated hermit in her dorm room who seriously contemplated ending everything?
Or maybe I think I'm different because I'm a dreamer, who peruses creative blogs and dreams of creating awesome/meaningful gifts for friends, journals, prints, frames, patterns, quotes, ideas, ideals...freedom...
Maybe it's the not-so-normal mother who struggles to play with her child out of anxiety that he will throw a fit becoming more independent as he needs to, the mom who doesn't want for sugar to touch her baby boy's lips (though realistically in moderation it's ok and she knows that), the mom who doesn't want to be defined by "mom" and plays a tug-of-war with her identity.
Or maybe the woman who knows that perfection isn't attainable and that imperfection really is beautiful, that authenticity and truth are more important than facades and perceived belonging, that friendships which are deep are worth the time but those that are surfacey might as well take a hike, the woman who seeks tranquility while enjoying adventure.
Maybe it's the runner in me who has more of a female softball player's build, who defies quickness and embraces participation over speed, who runs to transform her mind, heart and body, who sees her shorts rubbing against her thighs but realizes it is part of the territory, whose love handles are a-plenty and whose aim is to feel good and feel better.
She comes together, she is me, she is different but not really.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Figuring Things Out
I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm slow, I'm improving, I don't want to care, I care, I'm done, I'll keep going, it's too much, I can bare it, this is exhausting and what I think in some capacity on a daily basis. Whether it refers to being a mom, being a counselor, being a runner, or being Kara - I think it.
I'm ever caught up in this mind tug-of-war over how I see myself and what I do or how I am being. Ever tired of my own thoughts or actions. Somewhat depressed actually. Exercise, prayer and talking with others or doing something meaningful to help usually pulls me out of it. But...it's always waiting there. Ready to bounce, ready to demean and ready to tell me all the things that I really am not. Those things I strive to be but fall short of. So I'm figuring it out. Once again...
I'm ever caught up in this mind tug-of-war over how I see myself and what I do or how I am being. Ever tired of my own thoughts or actions. Somewhat depressed actually. Exercise, prayer and talking with others or doing something meaningful to help usually pulls me out of it. But...it's always waiting there. Ready to bounce, ready to demean and ready to tell me all the things that I really am not. Those things I strive to be but fall short of. So I'm figuring it out. Once again...
Friday, August 6, 2010
Mission Pantry - Coming Soon
Mission Pantry - Coming Soon
To clean out our pantry of existing ingredients and food items by creatively making delicious meals. Documenting what meals are created.
Challenge/Mission Declutter 50 - LIVE
Decluttering 50 things out of the house or putting in their place each week or month depending on how productive I am.
Challenge - Healthy Weight & Body - Just Began Yesterday
This requires me training for a direction or goal - in this case "Route 66 Mini-Marathon" in November with a friend AND incorporating biking and possibly swimming to lessen the pressure on my knees which is primarily why I need a health weight.
Mission Fireplace - 3 Months from now...
I want to chisel the fireplace shelves off (brick shelves within the fireplace protuding out), repaint the entire fireplace and attach a simple wood mantel.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unfortunately I'm always about "doing" and preoccupied with "being". Does that make sense? I have too many expectations for what should "be" for me especially with a toddler. Maybe it is overachievement or zest for life. Either way I sometimes place myself into a whole that is hard for me to get out of or to resist.
To clean out our pantry of existing ingredients and food items by creatively making delicious meals. Documenting what meals are created.
Challenge/Mission Declutter 50 - LIVE
Decluttering 50 things out of the house or putting in their place each week or month depending on how productive I am.
Challenge - Healthy Weight & Body - Just Began Yesterday
This requires me training for a direction or goal - in this case "Route 66 Mini-Marathon" in November with a friend AND incorporating biking and possibly swimming to lessen the pressure on my knees which is primarily why I need a health weight.
Mission Fireplace - 3 Months from now...
I want to chisel the fireplace shelves off (brick shelves within the fireplace protuding out), repaint the entire fireplace and attach a simple wood mantel.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unfortunately I'm always about "doing" and preoccupied with "being". Does that make sense? I have too many expectations for what should "be" for me especially with a toddler. Maybe it is overachievement or zest for life. Either way I sometimes place myself into a whole that is hard for me to get out of or to resist.
Not Written
I have not written for awhile or even posted and for good reasons:
1) this is really for me anyway and no one is really reading it
2) I think of clever or interesting things when I'm away from any computer and don't have place to write it down or the moment passes
3) I keep trying to think of a theme rather than these random postings and even though I fully intended to do Garage Sale Saturday - I have practiced and completed the activity ut have not taken any picture or posted any news about my findings
4) life is simpler when I'm not on the computer so much so alas...we will see
1) this is really for me anyway and no one is really reading it
2) I think of clever or interesting things when I'm away from any computer and don't have place to write it down or the moment passes
3) I keep trying to think of a theme rather than these random postings and even though I fully intended to do Garage Sale Saturday - I have practiced and completed the activity ut have not taken any picture or posted any news about my findings
4) life is simpler when I'm not on the computer so much so alas...we will see
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