Tomorrow I Work: I will Miss You

It's not the end - it's a new beginning - it is the end to this stage...you've grown so much and I have learned so much. Elijah you are so sweet and at times intense but man do I love you. I have so loved getting to know you tiny creature! pure joy!

What I will Miss: your face, tiny fists, tiny toes & fingers, your smile and *look*, your initial laugh, how you coo, just your presence on my shoulder, looking at your head full of hair out of the corner of my eye, your discovery of new things.

What I will NOT Miss: your intense cry during nap times in the day, your schedule in the day (eat-wake-sleep), doing all kinds of tasks in the day while hearing you cry from not wanting to nap.

As I go back to work, I hope you and Ian know that I Love you very, very much and that mommy does best outside of the home where she can be with people and help them. I love spending time with you and will continue to do my best to make that time happen. When it comes to you and to Ian you are first and if I need to take days off for you, for sickness or to just be with you - I will. Daddy will take good care of you when I'm not home and to & from your childcare. I know you will be ok.

OSU Game & What we Found

Ohio State University vs. University of Michigan Game! 11-24-12

What we found when we came home!  Awesome!

Right Now - Eli 8 weeks

* you are smiling when belly full and diaper changed and not overtired!

* we are just beginning to have your cry it out due to you loving being held and not able to soothe yourself

* you are beginning to coo

* you stare at the wall of frames for quite a while and every so often you crack a big grin at some picture you see

* you notice Ian more and follow his voice

* you fluctuate drinking between 2.5 ounces and up to 5 ounces

* we are really working to have you on a 2.5-3.5 hr routine (mostly 3hr)

* your reflux comes in and out

* the colic symptoms are not soooo apparent as they were so we are not sure what it is that gets you that way

* you dear boy, are on the most expensive formula out there and too boot "bottled water" due to those colicy symptoms previously - I look forward to switching you once mid-January comes to make sure that we don't mess you up too badly

* you don't like riding in the car but usually will sleep for a while

* Mommy is anxious about starting work and hopes that you will catch on to the routine quickly and painlessly - I so want to enjoy you when I get home along with Ian

* you sort of rolled over during tummy time from your side to your back

Ian - 3 years and 11 months

Ian, I keep thinking you are already 4 years old but you are not! You act so mature at times with various questions and statements and then I am reminded that you are still 3 when you whine incessantly and begin to throw your own version of a tantrum.

This is a summary for Ian. He is now 3 years and 11 months old.

EATING

You like most things even if you whine at first that you don't like it. But once you try things one time you usually like it. You LOVE tortellini and have for a long time. Chicken nuggets you would eat every night if we had it probably. You're favorite vegetable with corn and you do like green & red peppers and carrots with humus.  You ask for dessert each night (even if we don't have it). You really like fruit. You want ice cream or chocolate for something sweet. You enjoy crackers - especially breaking them into pieces (BOY!). If you had a choice for favorite meal right now, it might be mac'n cheese, cream corn and some sort of dessert.

SLEEPING

You are a great sleeper even if it takes you awhile to fall asleep. We have a wake up clock in your room. It turns yellow when you can get up. Our night-time routine sometimes goes short due to your desire to stay up. But you brush your teeth, potty, pajamas, responsibility chart, one book, drink of milk and prayer.

CHORES

You are eager to help us unless you are playing, then we have to ask you. You do set the table as well as clean up. You do well with small tasks. You put your toys away and books. Brushing your teeth and getting ready in the morning is part of it. You can't quite put your shirt on but you can put your underwear and pants on.

EMOTIONS

You are pretty sensitive and have a hard time taking harsh voices or disappointment when you make a mistake. You do however, have a temper and can work yourself up quickly if you don't like what we ask of you.

You are mostly happy and content and occasionally remain in a funk for a while and then laugh at something and say "you're so silly mommy". You do turn on a dime it seems.

SWIMMING LESSONS

You are further along in learning to swim and are in the Pike class again to continue to learn. You are doing much better and more willing to do and try what your teacher asked you to. Laying on your back as well as moving your arms and kicking your legs.

YOUR SCHEDULE

7-7:30--Wake up and get ready. Play just a little if there is time - especially with Eli. 

8:00 -- Head to Angela's Circle of Friends

8:15 -- Eat breakfast (pancake day I think is your favorite or french toast day!)

8:30-11:30 -- Group time, Story time, Learning, Play outside?

11:30 -- Lunch

12:00-2:00 -- Nap time

2:00 -- Play outside?

3:30 -- Reading and Independent Play time 

5-5:30 -- Pickup from School!

6-6:30 -- Play

6:30 - Eat supper

7:00 --Family Activities

7:50 --Get ready for bed or bath time

8:30--Bedtime 

Chronicles of a Babywise Mom: Days of Motherhood

Chronicles of a Babywise Mom: Days of Motherhood: Life with one baby is significantly different than life with one baby plus four children. As in all things, the differences are varied. One isn't really better or easier than another, it is just different.

Photo by Candid Memory

Many people think of a mom with three or more children and think it must be incredibly difficult and can't imagine how they would  handle it. I get that--I often had that thought myself. Yes, there are challenges to multiple children, but having four children is not four times harder than having one child.

Living in Utah, I see many large families around me. Something consistent you hear from people with large families is that after three, the difficulty is all the same. It really doesn't get harder. Even my friend's mom, who had 13 kids, says 3 was the hardest number. She was absolutely done at three. She wanted no more--it was too hard. She felt she should have more, however, and after that it was actually easier than three was. 

I think one reason it doesn't get harder and harder is that children get older. When McKenna was a baby, Brayden was 3 going on 4 and Kaitlyn was 1 going on 2. Having three children who really needed me was a challenge. With Brinley, Brayden was 7, Kaitlyn was 5, and McKenna was 3. Brayden and Kaitlyn are very self-sustaining and can help with McKenna and Brinley when needed.

I must interrupt myself here and caveat that my intention is not to tell you that you must have more than two or even one child. I don't believe in a "minimum" requirement. My parents had two kids and that was perfect for them. My intent here is only to be encouraging.

In many ways for me, having more than one child is easier than it was just having one. Having your first baby is a bit of a shock. It is your first time having someone so incredibly dependent on you. It is your first time consistently being deprived of sleep. These are things to adjust to.

With one baby, your days can easily get lonely and monotonous. For several months, you are home all day with a baby who only slowly becomes interactive. You feed baby, spend some time with baby, then you put baby down for a nap. Things are quiet. You do some stuff, then you start all over again to feed baby, play for a bit, put baby down for a nap...I remember the hours dragging on before my husband would get home. I enjoyed Brayden and loved being a mom, but day after day of the same things means that by Friday, you are just ready for something different to happen. Maybe your baby is fussy and so you spend hours in a day trying to calm your baby down. You can get overly consumed and worried about poor naps and fussiness from baby. 

As a mom past that point in life, let me just encourage you to do your best to enjoy the perks of that time! When your baby is asleep, you can sleep, too, if you want. You don't have another child who needs you. You can clean your house and it will stay clean. You don't have another child who will come along and mess it up right behind you. You can read a book in silence. You can put your full energy into that one baby. Perhaps if you are home on maternity leave you are better at relishing the moments you have since you have a known deadline when things will change.

There are many perks about one baby that you won't realize you have until it is gone.

And with that said, I love the atmosphere that many children bring to the home. Believe me that my days are anything but monotonous or lonely. Seven years ago, I counted down the hours until my husband got home. Today, when he walks in the door I am shocked that the day is almost over. My children keep things interesting. If Brinley has  bad nap (and it happens--all babies have off days), I just don't have the time to mull it over and stress about it. Luckily, I know babies well enough that I don't need to put a lot of time into problem solving. I just don't have time to worry about those naps. I have to move on because there is a lot going on--and there are bigger things to be concerned with than a bad nap here and there.

What is the point of this post? I have several points. One is, if you are a first time mom stuck in the monotony of babyhood, know that you are not alone in this. As I talk to other moms, most if not all of us felt the same way. Try to find the things that are unique to your situation and savor every minute of that. Find the positive and focus on that. You get to give all of your time and attention to one baby--take advantage of it! Take in every coo and smile. Spend some time just holding the baby and savoring the ability to focus on your one baby.

Another point is to encourage you that yes, one baby is hard. Definitely hard. It is an adjustment--a HUGE adjustment. When you have one baby you look at moms with multiple kids and think, "how does she do that?!? How will I ever manage more than one child?!?!" When Brayden was a baby, I had a hard time managing to get ready for the day each day. That is not difficult for me in the least now, even with a baby and three other kids to take care of. As a mom, you learn how to do juggle. It is a learned skill that you pick up over time. You get better and better as time goes one. You build the skills to be able to care for multiple children over time, just like you would build endurance to run long distances over time. If you want more than one child, but are worried about your ability to do so, you can do it! You can have more than one child. It does not get exponentially harder. My husband and I often laugh, "Remember when we thought one baby was hard! Ha!" But it was. It was hard for us at the time. 

Another point, and possible caveat, is to not overlook the importance of training your children while they are young. My children can be self-sustaining because I have taught them to be. It takes a lot of work and effort, but it is so worth it! Oh yes, it gets hard. And you don't have a lot of free time. I spend most of my time helping my kids with something or other. My three oldest can wait for me, but they do still need me often. Taking the time to teach children from the beginning makes managing and juggling a larger family much, much easier.

Finally, no matter where you are in life, try your best to really enjoy the moment. Every stage has its good points and bad points. Every stage has joys and difficulties. Do not spend today wishing away what is before you. You might have a moment of perfection somewhere along the way, but it would be fleeting. Life isn't perfect. Take what it has for you and love it. Love what there is to love right now. I love this quote:

If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the piles and piles of laundry will disappear all too soon and that you will, to your surprise, miss them profoundly. – Thomas S. Monson

I always try to keep this quote in mind as I look at the disaster my children managed to create in the course of the last 20 minutes. Someday, my children will be gone and things will be perfectly clean. I have no doubt I will miss the mess. Profoundly. There isn't one week that goes by at church when some older person comes to me and tells me, essentially, to enjoy it and that time goes by so quickly. It isn't the same person each week. Every one of them seems to take turns spreading that wisdom around. I don't think the one piece of advice these people with years of wisdom consistently choose to give should be ignored. Enjoy it. Times goes by too fast. If there is one thing they want to collectively tell me, it is to enjoy it. So I look for the happiness in what is before me and try to live in the moment. Savor it. Have a sense of humor about it. I don't want to wish each day away. Because of that, I am able to be very content and optimistic about what our life is. 

And that is how you manage life with multiple children.

You love it for what it is. There is much to love! You laugh at the blunders that are sure to come. There are many! You plan for the worst and expect the best. You love each moment. You are grateful for what life is now, not upset about what it isn't. No matter what your day looks like, spend your days of motherhood trying to enjoy it for what it is so you can look back with fondness rather than with regret.

Right Now - Elijah - 7 weeks

* I love how you still hold your fists so tight!
* you are cooing more and smiling a lot more
* when you are sad - your lower lip puckers out and it's the most sad face I have ever seen
* you're beginning to be ok in the swing (thank goodness) and will even fall asleep in it some times
* you still eat about 3 hours apart in the day if we don't travel or mess you up with noises
* you're eating more now - sometimes up to 5 ounces but usually 3-4 oz per feeding
* you're still refluxing some
* you LOVE the frames on the wall
* Ian can't get enough of you!
* supposedly you're going to drop your late-night feeding here soon - we'll see
* mommy's getting nervous to go back to work and to begin exercising again

Excerpt: Reasoning for not doing Santa Claus

Sometimes as Christians, we have to make decisions about how we will live our life differently because of the difference that Christ has made in our lives. And sometimes these decisions are not popular with other people.

It’s difficult to go against the flow.

We made one of those decisions recently. We are not including Santa Claus in any of our Christmas celebrations. It’s been difficult. And our child is only two and a half years old. How much harder will it be when she’s in school?

First, there are the random strangers who ask our daughter if she’s ready for Santa Claus. Then there are our 8 and 10 year old nieces who claim they still believe in Santa Claus. (We may not follow the crowd on Santa Claus, but I am not about to rain on any kid’s parade.) Then there is the rest of the family. Some are Christians and some are not, but they don’t understand why we wouldn’t want to include Santa Claus. After all, EVERYONE is doing it.

How do you deal with the criticisms, the looks, and the sometimes-harsh words regarding this kind of decision? As you would with any matter of faith.

Know what you believe. Know why you believe it.

We have prayerfully considered how the decision to not include Santa Claus will impact our family and our daughter as she grows. We have listed our reasons WHY we do not want to celebrate Santa. And we are ready to share with those who want to listen.

This decision was not made lightly. And it wasn’t made with the intention of rocking the boat. We are respectful that other people hold very dearly to the Santa Claus story and all that he represents.

I’m not sharing all of this to try to convince anyone else of what they should or shouldn’t do. I’m sharing because it’s hard to be different, and it’s comforting when we find others with similar beliefs and values.

Paul tells us in Romans 12 that we are not to “copy the behavior and customs of this world.” (v.2, NLT) That tells me that “just because everybody else is doing it” isn’t a good excuse. (And I have a feeling that I will be reciting that verse a lot as our daughter gets into her tween- and teen-age years.) Paul says it’s okay to be counter-cultural.

However, Paul also reminds us in Colossians 2:16ff that we are not to condemn other Christians who observe customs of the culture. Just because we do something that is counter-cultural doesn’t make us or our children spiritually superior.

Back to the original advice: Know what you believe and why you believe it. Be able to explain why you celebrate Christmas (or any other holiday or cultural custom) differently. Plan ahead. Talk to parents that have made the same decision who have older children and ask them what obstacles they have encountered.

And be prepared. Your children will question why your family does things differently. They may feel left out. Let them know that it’s okay to be different. Use age-appropriate words to explain why this decision is best for your family.

It may not be the easy road. But teaching your children to honor Jesus will be worth it.

Truth in the Tinsel & Alternatives to Elf-on-the-Shelf

I'm loving the journey of seeking alternatives for presenting Santa to Ian for Christmas. We decided long before Ian not to participate in the magic and story of Santa Claus and instead to focus solely on Christ's birth and the meaning of the holiday that is Christmas.  Although there may be some of the "magic" of the season that he might miss out on, we believe that the focus on Jesus will actually be just as magical and even more meaningful with various traditions and crafts. See next post.

Go here to see it all.

I know people love the Elf on the Shelf. It’s a magical little tradition that gets kids ready for Christmas and apparently, controls their behavior. (It does sound magical, doesn’t it?!) For those who don’t want to incorporate Santa and his elves into their daily December, here’s a few fun alternatives to a Christmas countdown activity.

1. Christmas Mouse

Source: minimocha.blogspot.com via ohAmanda {impress your kids} on Pinterest

This is the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen! The Christmas Mouse travels the world and takes a mini-vacation at your house during December. Every day he leaves treasures from his travels. {please click over to Mini Mocha and see all her gorgeous ideas!}

2. Christmas Angel

Source: yourchristmasangel.com via ohAmanda {impress your kids} on Pinterest

The Christmas Angel comes with a cute plush angel, a bag of gold  dust and a storybook. The story explains how the angel came to Mary and told her she was going to have baby Jesus. So, like the Elf on the Shelf, when your child wakes up every morning, they look for the angel who has written a message in the gold dust–”hug mom”, “make cookies”, “give a gift”. The idea is to give every day after reading the message from the angel.

3. Book Countdown

Source: vanderbiltwife.com via ohAmanda {impress your kids} on Pinterest

I’m a sucker for a Christmas book. The day after Christmas is my favorite day because Barnes and Noble puts all their Christmas books 50% off! So, grab 25 of your favorite Christmas books, wrap each one individually and every day of December unwrap one and read it together with your kids.

I love this because it gives your kids quality time, you are reading together and it makes for a surprise each day! My friend Jessie has a great list of 25 Jesus-centric Christmas books for this tradition!

4. What God Wants for Christmas

I got this at a Christian bookstore on an after-Christmas clearance a few years ago. It’s a kit that includes seven boxes which house nativity scene figures. Every night for a week, you pick a new box, read the story and open the box. The last night, you think would be baby Jesus, instead it’s a mirror! The gift God wants is YOU!

I love it because it’s only a 7 day countdown. You can fit 7 days into December for sure!

5. Mary & Joseph’s Trip to Bethlehem

I tried to find a link to this online, but just couldn’t find one. It’s such a simple idea that doesn’t require any crazy set-up or even a big purchase.

If you have a nativity scene, set it all up except for Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. Just hide Jesus away and then place Mary and Joseph far far away in another part of the house.Each morning, place Mary and Joseph a little closer to Bethlehem…er, your manger scene. By Christmas Eve, they can set up in the stable and on Christmas Day, place Jesus in the center!

My kids would love to search for Mary and Joseph every day! I think I’m going to do this in December!

6. Advent Wreath

Source: adventtolenttoascensionwreath.blogspot.com via ohAmanda {impress your kids} on Pinterest

This is a meaningful, beautiful piece of art which doubles as a countdown activity. Each day, move the donkey and Mary figure closer to the center of the wreath adding Advent candles as you go. You can extend it (and use it again) during Lent as you get ready for Jesus’ death and resurrection on the cross. You have to click over to see all the gorgeous pictures of this wreath!

7. Light ‘Em Up

Source: lillightomine.com via ohAmanda {impress your kids} on Pinterest

You’ve heard of Random Acts of Kindness during the holidays, right? Well, Courtney at Lil Light of Mine gives over 50 fun ideas, printables and more to light up December with kindness!

8. Shepherd’s Pouches

Source: blog.jamesandjuliepaquette.com via ohAmanda {impress your kids} on Pinterest

I super love this idea. Instead of stockings, hang up small, unadorned pouches. During December, when your children help someone, do chores, are kind, etc. place money in the pouches. On Christmas Eve, take the money from the pouches and use it to buy a gift from Compassion’s gift catalog or give it to someone in need.

This is cool because it gives the same feel as the elf watching your behavior, but with better motivation. Head over to Julie’s blog to read all her wording and ideas on how to implement this with your kids!

9. TRUTH IN THE TINSELYou knew I was gonna say that, right? It’s a wonderful and simple idea: read the Christmas story from the Bible, make an ornament to go along with the passage and talk about it with your kids. It includes printables, the words to say and simple tutorials. It doesn’t get much better than that! Get your own copy now! 

10. What’s your favorite fun Christmas countdown, activity or tradition for getting kids ready for Christmas?

Amanda is the author of Truth in the Tinsel: An Advent Experience for Little Hands. She is a mom of two, former Children’s Pastor, Disney-fan, kids’ book lover and collects too many Christmas ornaments. She blogs at ohAmanda.com on a semi-regular basis.