Right Now: Elijah 13 weeks

Week of 12/22-12/28
* you are so very strong!
* your first Christmas was pretty uneventful and you were our best gift *wink*
* you received several Christmas cards and Ian gave you a great bear
* Grandpa & Grandma Messmore also got you a Jumparoo which you sort of caught on to
* you looked like a dwarf next to it but once we placed a foot stool underneath you tried to jump a good bit
* you're eating 3 hr steadily
* you're sitting up so well now with assistance
* you were very excited to hear that we closed on a new house on 12/28!
* you're not sleeping the best at night and wake up 1-2x a night
* you cooing some more and especially when we smile at you
* you follow daddy & mommy & Ian around the room and try to find us

{pictures to come soon}

Right Now: Elijah 12 weeks

Week of 12/15-12/21
* you did so well at Ian's birthday dinner and seem to do well in restaurants given that you're usually tired or hungry
*

Right Now: Elijah 11 weeks

* your smile brightens every day
* you slept through the night once this week
* you are eating more - about 5 oz each or every other feeding
* you are 12lbs. - average weight
* you are 75% height
* you are silly
* you are now in 3-6 mo clothes!

December Daily: Week One

December 1:  today we hung out at home while daddy did an awesome wedding, went to celebrate a wonderful young lady's birthday (i.e. Kenna), Ian rode his bike with daddy, Eli cooed with mommy, received our gifts for others' in the mail! and hung out with Miss Kaylee Eakins :) nice low-key day (the tree was decorated a couple of days ago so nothing Christmasy today)

December 2: A rough Sunday with Tracy's passing, great support from friends & family and an awesome small group once again. What I wrote on facebook: Bittersweet day, as is every day...walked into church not knowing Tracy had passed but people were looking at me slightly different (didn't notice)...the realization hitting during worship...literally she gets to run to God! Had a great afternoon with my boys and my Love, then ran from our house on one end of town to our church on the other - 4.5 miles. LOVED IT! Praising God for her life all of the way. :) It's hard to be away and not realizing how things affect you. Let her life be a reminder to all of us that 1) life is short 2) love people, 3) be right with our heavenly Father 4) don't bicker about stupid things 5) be the most healthy person you can

December 3: Worked a long day and loved being with family.

December 4: Oh brotherly love, Grandma Price was here while daddy was away. We have a pretty good night!

December 5: We just hung out as a family and FINALLY got pictures of the 4 of us!! Even if Ian was pretty rambunctious!

December 6: The only picture I got was from a baby shower at work and man do they do awesome baby showers! We ate Chinese and just hung out. I love these gals!  Hayley is in the picture below. I LOVE HER! :)  That day though I did get a full-fledge migraine that kept me in bed when I got home from work until the morning and it still lingered!

December 7: No picture today - well here. Not flattering but a work week done: this was a wonderful, rough, good, emotional, exhausting, exhilarating week and I'm glad it's done... :)

A Tribute: Tracy Watts Zehr

Some things I learned this past week from Tracy's passing. Life is fleeting...whether you are in good health or not. God's purpose for your life is a mystery and ultimately is to glorify him...love others...and be that person that He desires for you to be - to see a good work in you. When we left Jasper I held onto Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things;

    do not dwell on the past.
¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland."

When we left I never looked back...not once. It was all forward thinking even when I was slightly lonely from not knowing people. I looked forward to pursuing God in a new church family...in spending time with Ian...then to working full-time...then to having a new baby boy....staying healthy.  Not once did I look back - I missed people but I knew not to look back.  And then Alex's post about prayer came up and what was going on. I prayed and prayed and prayed. More than I have done in quite a long time especially about just one thing.  Prayed and prayed for a miracle for healing or for His will.
But when she passed...I-looked-back. 

And what I found, was loss...pain...missing a family that I knew we had and people that we had shared our lives with through some very trying times. Those people who also celebrated our new achievements and even pushed themselves to achieve as well or to delve deeper into their lives. I found pictures in my mind springing up of various memories and get-togethers. I found laughter at the simplest things, running to friends' houses for fun. I found heartache at remembering how Ian still wants to be in Jasper at times. But I did find healing too.

Healing with the knowledge and truth that although we are far away in distance, this family is still part of the big Kingdom and that we share the most important thing on earth: Christ. It's a family that is not distinctive because of blood or even personalities. We are family because we shared life and we share Christ and we share burdens. I have new family here and haven't had the opportunity to really share life with them quite yet. It's just the beginning. It's a vulnerable thing to do and it's scary but it's so rewarding to open back up.  So although I am going to miss sharing life with those still in Jasper -- hopefully they will come visit us in our new life here in Troy, Ohio.  I found that when we did visit Jasper a week or so before Tracy's passing...I found it hard to do. 

It's like you never leave, yet everything and everyone has changed in some way. I'm not the same person here as I was in Jasper, really I am not. I am more responsible here and have found my grounding here as a mother and a professional.  In Jasper, I was insecure as a mother and seemed to long for more independence but here there are opportunities galore but I have no desire to pursue them b/c I'd rather be a mom. My focus is not on antiques or flea market finds (probably b/c we're not in a house yet) and I love simplifying the space around me.  I am in a different role at the hospital and with my coworkers. We are from ALL different walks of life.  I didn't expect to feel the yearning for Jasper that I did nor the regret for leaving that occurred when Tracy passed but now that I have, it makes those relationships I made there...stronger, deeper and richer. I forgot about that in my "focus forward". 

I will remember fireworks at the Zehrs, swimming there, watching Ian and Jazlyn play around at a wedding reception, swimming with Alex in the mornings while training, working with Tracy's mom Pat and literally sharing an office with her talking about everything from Melanie's (Tracy's older sister's) growth out of grief to Tammy's (Tracy's younger sister) nursing education to Jazlyn's silly faces to my own perspective on people's lives and laughing A LOT!  I'll remember Tracy's laugh and conversations with her when I was going through post-partum depression with Ian - her encouragement and her small group which I loved! She's laugh at me too which was nice. We all impact one another - I just hope mine is a good impact that somehow outweighs the selfishness that I know I have that stunts my spiritual growth. We should all pray that God uses us in His ways because ultimately that is what matters anyway and Tracy was another one of His daughters who was able to experience that.

Right Now: Elijah 10 weeks

* I have not seen you as much this week which saddens me due to my migraine and just working
* you are smiling up a storm!!
* you are beginning to "babble" slowly
* you smiled at your self in the mirror tonight!
* you don't like things directly in your face
* you are eating more and more 4-6 oz in the daytime with Ms. Sandy, Amy & Ms. Bonnie
* you are figuring the routine out and sleeping much better in the day
* you did your first ENTIRE NIGHT sleep this week!! (on Tuesday night when Grandma Price was visiting us)
* you are slowing down when you eat and taking more time
* you are still really good on your belly
* this week was a rough week for mommy & daddy as we lost one of our dear friends Tracy but some other awesome God-things happened too!

Right Now: Elijah 9 weeks {2 Months}

This week was rough in your life - both for you and for me. I went to work and although I had a great work week, it seemed that neither you nor the childcare workers really knew how to work through the routine we had established. You came home tired...sometimes hungry and downright fussy again. It appears that whenever you were having those past colic symptoms - they were back but it was just the messy non-routine.

* you are holding your head up like a pro!

* when you are well rested & fed, you are sooooo happy!

* you are just too cute!

* the onesie really says what you were doing at childcare to those ladies!

* you are cooing and starting to try to echo sounds (at least it sounds like you are!)  

* you still eat between 3-5 oz consistently and eat 3 hrs apart (when you are with mommy & daddy)

* you're not sleeping through the night yet but you are doing well

* your routine: 

7am - feed

8/9 nap

10am - feed

11/12 nap

1:00 pm - feed

2/3 nap

4:00pm - feed

5/6 nap

7:00pm feed

8/9 bed

10:30pm - night feed

2 or 3 ish - you wake up hungry

6/7 am ----- start all over