Minimalist Challenge: Day Three

List down 20 Essential Clothing Items

(You know something - I had to look this up because in my Casual Style world...a good pair of jeans, t-shirt and fitted sweatshirt with a ball-cap are all I need plus cozy shoes. But apparently there is so much more to this.

When I worked full-time I did have "staple" items for my dress attire and mixed and matched but once I dropped to part-time and then resigned, I basked in jeans and athletic wear every single day.

So I went looking and guess what, Women Essentials has a TON of suggestions on the internet!! So here are a few that I have customized for myself utilizing these resources.)

OK seriously, what is with "ankle boots"?!!!

1) a good bra fitted to my body (including sports bra)
2) comfortable underwear
3) denim jeans that slim
4) good running shoes
5) wick-away workout top
6) white/black t-shirts
7) neutral flats
8) little black dress
9) black ankle pants
10) sleeveless blouse
11)  pair of favorite earrings
12) light jacket (denim or khaki) I have khaki
13) matching pj's
14) sunglasses
15) nice trench coat jacket
16) black tank
17) trucker cap
18)
19) 
20)

One of those days...

Today is one of those days...it happens to be my birthday but sadness and parenting guilt do not discriminate. When living with boys who don't like school and feel like it's a "waste of time" just in elementary, the morning and afternoon routines feel ridden with exacerbating negativity no matter what I say.

I have normally been a class half-full person, but admit that their negativity hits a spot in me that hurts. It initially hurts and then makes me mad.

What have I done to have them hate school? We've always taught that learning is good. We read books and look up "how-to" things but somehow...learning just isn't fun for them at school like it was for me.

Sure, I grew in anxiousness each new year but somehow found a rhythm and understood that school is just part of life: good, bad or whatnot. It was expected and I wanted to do good. I wanted to learn and I wanted to excel.

This drive is somehow diverted from them into other areas of life that feel more important to them. I feel as if I failed. I have failed to show them joy in life through exploring, discovering and through completion of things.

Modern parenting today has many, many pressures for sure and I try to watch what I read, listen to and see. I desire to be transparent with others and to be real with them, but this is hard. Parenting is hard. Keeping a good attitude when all I hear is complaining is hard.

And as much as reading about other parents who experience the same thing with kids who have ADHD...it helps but it doesn't...because nothing is changing. The only thing that I can change, is myself: my thoughts about it, my responses and reactions and my perspective.

The rest is not what I can focus on.

Some resources that I am finding helpful in seeking out how help for my own responses is: 

http://www.ImpactADHD.com

And https://www.additudemag.com

The webinars for both of these websites are really good and today's webinars were on School Survival Skills and the other on Parent/Teacher Relationships

LATER ON THIS DAY:

I discovered that my eldest had not taken his ADHD medication this morning which would account for his ROYAL negativity and continual outbursts of loudness and interruption in the morning and especially as I picked him up from school. He apparently dropped the pill somewhere in the house and never retrieved another one.

As he spoke, bounced off the walls and complained incessantly this afternoon that he was "hangry", it made sense to me and still about 'did me in.' If you have never experienced this type of intensity it is somewhat like, feeling like your are on a constant roller coaster between the movement and changes in volume and subjects. It's overwhelming and when siblings play off of them, which his little brother also I'm sure has ADHD as well (the evidence is pretty upfront) then it just compounds the situation.

Minimalist Challenge: Day Two

Pick a Theme for your Home &/or Wardrobe

Contemporary
This style relies more on neutral colors with little to no embellishment on furniture. Lighter fabrics, such as silk and cotton, are popular, as are lighter colors in wood and metal. Clean lines take the place of ruffles or other adornments. Bold pops of color in accent pieces or pillows provide a more homey contrast. 

Eclectic
Eclectic decorating can sound like a mish-mash of styles, but there are ways to get this style to look cohesive. One way to make your style more cohesive is to use pieces that have similar colors in them to play off each other. Another idea is to create balance with your items, such as pairing a large overstuffed chair with a sleek and skinny lamp.

My Workspace I would look more like Industrial
& Eclectic with dashes of Whimsical
Industrial takes some inspiration from mid-century modern, but makes the minimalism even more pronounced. Instead of hiding mechanical parts, industrial décor uses them as design elements. Industrial details include exposed brick and steel. Occasionally, this style will see raw wood or copper accents. Stark, bold angles are also part of this theme, bringing to mind factory settings from the turn of the 1900s.

Wardrobe

Casual Fashion Style

Casual is a combination of elegance with comfort. This simple style has caught up well with the passage of time and is one of the most sought after fashion styles as of now. None of the exotic and bold items will be in the wardrobe of a woman who follows casual fashion. They would prefer to put on a white T-Shirt and black pants over tight and uncomfortable exotics any day. They tend to keep it simple and match the accessories with whatever the simple clothing they are wearing.

7 Ways to Bless Your Day with Less by Deb Wolf

1. Less Talking and More Listening

• Ask questions and listen to the complete answer.
• Don’t interrupt. Wait…
• Make and maintain eye contact with the person with whom you’re talking.
• Avoid distractions.

Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others. Proverbs 12:15

2. Less Technology and More in Person

• Set aside tablet and phone free times.
• Create tablet and phone free zones.
• Choose one family member to talk with in person or if that’s not possible on the phone each day.
• Focus on the ones you’re with not the ones out in cyberspace.

I am sure that when I come, Christ will richly bless our time together. Romans 15:29

3. Less Worry and More Peace

• Address your feelings. Admit worry and the need to let it go.
• Pray about the problem and why your worried about it.
• Memorize God’s promises, say them and trust Him.
• Live in the present, do what you are able, and let go of the rest.

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Psalm 37:7

4. Less Control and More Freedom

• Stop trying to manage every little detail.
• Refuse to say or do anything that might be manipulative.
• Accept things you can’t change.
• Walk away from perfectionism.

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. Galatians 5:13

5. Less Complaining and More Compliments

• Look for and focus on the positive.
• Stop and think before you speak.
• Be appreciative.
• Think like Thumper’s mother . . . “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

6. Less Judging and More Forgiving

• Be honest. You’ve made bad choices and decisions.
• Realize how much God has forgiven in you.
• Look at the bigger picture . . . there are many things don’t know about the person you are judging.
• Free yourself of the need to be “right.”

Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

7. Less Fear and More Faith 

• Keep a gratitude journal.
• Remember the ways God has protected you in the past.
• Ask Him to increase your faith and remove your fear.
• Memorize – The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? TheLord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? Psalm 27:1

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

What do you think? Are you ready to replace excessive talking, technology, worry, control, complaints, judging, and fear with listening, in person, peace, freedom, compliments, forgiving and faith?

Where would you like to live with less? How will you start?

Minimalist Challenge: Day One

Define your Personal Style

I struggle to define my own personal style because immediately I want to pinterest everything I like to see what "my style is" and yet it falls short of probably the reality of my everyday life with family and pets.

However, one thing I do know...I LOVE the coffee house feel even though I do not like the taste nor really the smell of coffee, but I enjoy Chai Tea Lattes with skim milk.

I desire the atmosphere that is in coffee shops: collaboration, community, warm scents and liquids, cozy feelings of graduate school really. The intimate lighting, white space for my brain and occasionally the chosen art piece that gets me thinking or inspired.

There is freedom to me in these environments where the walls and the seating set the stage for meaningful thought or conversation. New ideas, special memories, connection. So to sum it up, the WOOD, White, Warmth, Lighting, black accents, clean slate/endless possibilities feeling that these spaces bring to me.

But I would venture to say that my Personal Style also includes Teals, Turquoise, pictures of laughter or hugs. The soundtrack of my life is upbeat and then mellow with nostalgic rhythms here and there from Coldplay and U2. Norah Jones I'm sure is in there with Michael Buble. And maybe this is more or less where I would want to write and paint. Because life isn't so perfect like this. 

I do like nice pillows but the reality is that they end up on the ground to become pathways to stay away from "hot lava" or become doors to hidden caves where superheros live. Keeping them clean or without wear isn't doable nor the aim of the space since it fosters creativity.

Bohemian and Whimsical are the styles that keep coming up in my results for style quizzes so yeah I'd like that. But living with family changes everything. :)

To be a _________ without Losing Your Mind

In my previous social work/counseling "lives" (5/9) that I have done over the past 14+ years including internships, I have found what environments I become small in and which ones I thrive through. I have recognized the "seasoned" workers who seek excellence in all they do and continue to evolve and grow and I have recognized the "tenure" workers who have settled into mantras of comfort and avoidance of rocking any boats.

The tenure workers see change coming and simply sit back because "they've seen it all before" and although they share their feedback...business continues as usual. They settle. They remain in their corners with their heads ducked to the side so as not to be seen because it's a "job". They await their next vacation or time off. As much as I respect their stability, I deeply mourn their lack of tenacity and passion.

In each environment...(marriage and family therapy, counseling, private agency, community home health, hospital: rural and urban; psychiatric and various units), I have sensed the need for improvement in how to help healers to heal while they are helping others. Mental health professionals and healthcare professionals are healers even if they also have to be paper pushers, insurance negotiators and policy puppets (no disrespect intended). We need healthier outlets, time for reflection and an acknowledgement that healing work is hard, complicated and complex.

So in order to NOT LOSE YOUR MIND...____________ (i.e. healers) need:

A Supportive Community :: what the world needs = you to come alive
   We are made for community. We need people behind us, in front of us and beside us. We co-create     our perspectives.

A Simple Path :: there is a path and you're already on it
   We fear we don't have what it takes, or that we are wasting our time. We must continue and not
   think too much but have a plan. Growth can come through recognition.

Share yourself: it's not about self-promotion :: self-promoting is gross but helping is kind.
   Share your work with joy and creativity. Be yourself as you are. "There you are...how can I help?"

I want to invite you into considering how your gift can impact others in your community, neighborhood, or trained profession.

There you are caregivers...there you are healers...how can I help you? How can I encourage you? How can I offer soul space for you to also receive healing and remain thriving? How can I help you replenish your body, mind and spirit so you can then continue to help others?

This is where I am, this is what I think about and this is where I have been stuck for two years after resigning from work. Wondering, wondering how God would use me again. Wondering how I need to risk.