10 Design Blogs You Must Read

10 Design Blogs You Must Read
Yes this is my past time...looking at design blogs or surfing Etsy.com.

Learning to Love, Live & be more of myself...

Ali Edward's Mini Poster "Today. It is ok. Embrace imperfection. Go with the flow. Find your voice. Tell your story. Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be. I am a LIFE ARTIST. Play."

An unforeseen day...had work days switched so today was unpredictable...endless possibilities...
It's truly a process...this morning I woke up to swim and struggled but did it and did not know what the rest of today held. But I found myself in a great conversation with a dear friend over breakfast after waking up my little man from his sleep with a happy smile and giggles.

This season especially today was lovely...just l-o-v-e-l-y and I want to cherish it. In this moment as I sit here at this dear friend's home I am listening to the moving Christian music in the background on the surround sound and just taking some time for myself while she is hard at work with her daily work. I'm calm...I'm "with it" and it's refreshing. It's such a blessing to be able to "invade" someone else's life for a few hours to see how they live, where they live and what they do. It takes me out of my life a little to see the bigger picture and to see how others' lives (our triumphs and struggles) and how we are really ALL THE SAME.

We struggle and we don't want to ask for help and try to figure it out ourselves. Sometimes we succeed and sometimes we give up. We all have different gifts that help others out. How many times do I sit on my hands demanding it be done MY way without asking for help?? Grrr....

This is just lovely...

Vulnerability

Speaking of vulnerability, all of this reading about shame and its effects and how vulnerability (willingness to express it and/or not express it or access it), has brought me to now.

Over the past several days I have been pondering...where am I "closed" to people and where am I "open". So being a person of authenticity (striving to do so) I am figuring out who and with whom I am more authentic and with whom I go into counseling mode (which is a bit different) and/or life mode (which is basic conversation). In a profession where "objectivity" is touted as the ultimate need...for a professional, although very hard to attain - I am presented with a dilemma. How much of myself do I allow in a room with being present with someone in their pain? All of myself? Some of myself? All & some together or none of myself if it is terribly traumatic? How much do I allow in a simple public setting where people might be watching (or not)?

There are those people who I "let my guard" down with whom I trust and can assume and have been shown to be trustworthy and "get me". There are those who I can be fun with and joke around with but am unsure still about those deep issues or discussions that roll around in my head on a daily basis. There are those I have issues in common with (food issues - mind you vulnerability here) and there are those who I have no common issue with one bit and yet discuss life with.

We all have "inner circles" at least it is a belief of mine that it is healthy to do so. Jesus had an inner circle of those He trusted. And then a family circle - those I consider family but might not fully disclose to depending on their personality and then there is a "friend" circle - I call you "friend" but we might not have time or have invested in a deep friendship together. And then there are acquaintances - a very large group that I interact with a good bit but without that deep meaning that is part of my heart. We are a church of close to a 1,000 people now and I find most of my relationships in the congregation to be acquaintances (good ones) but still that is the level. Which is where I'm finding it is the hard part for me with vulnerability and facebook.

Many of my facebook friends are simply acquaintances. "I like you, you like me, we have Christ and that is our commonality." There are friends, "I hang out with you, you with me and we read and discuss items, we're friends." Those even closer - "I make time out of my day for you, you check up on me and we 'do life' together and share our lives together." Those who are closest: "you challenge me, you call me on 'my stuff' when I'm letting it get in the way again of thriving...you care and you allow me to be vulnerable and I trust you completely - you follow-up." We all have those opportunities for these close friendship (for me sisterships) but often we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable and simply shut people out. My problem at times & more recently, I begin to mix everything up and place my closest friends into regular friends and aquaintances and shut them out - I close off as one friend told me. And I do.

It's a way to separate myself to help me see where I am at and how much of myself I can give, am willing to give and would like to give. Ultimately I wish I had enough for everything and everyone but I'm not God and don't desire to be. Vulnerability...how much am I willing to let out? How much am I able to share? Will you listen? Will you care? Will this mean anything to you if you would know I or someone else was struggling? Could you give? We all face it, we just don't talk about it too much b/c it might be uncomfortable or make us talk about those issues we'd rather keep hidden. Those things that we feel shame towards or do not know how to express. Yes this is me, deep me and I'm ok with it. I have the stability of instability and realize that is why I do therapy...how else will I get it? LOL *sigh*

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

I'm beginning to really enjoying reading her words & watching her talks...

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com



I guess Tao said this - not a follower of his but enjoyed the different perspective.
"To be whole, let yourself break.
To be straight, let yourself bend.
To be full, let yourself be empty.
To be new, let yourself wear out.
To have everything, give everything up.

Knowing others is a kind of knowledge;
knowing yourself is wisdom.
Conquering others requires strength;
conquering yourself is true power.
To realize that you have enough is true wealth.
Pushing ahead may succeed,
but staying put brings endurance.
Die without perishing, and find the eternal.

To know that you do not know is strength.
Not knowing that you do not know is a sickness.
The cure begins with the recognition of the sickness.

Knowing what is permanent: enlightenment.
Not knowing what is permanent: disaster.
Knowing what is permanent opens the mind.
Open mind, open heart.
Open heart, magnanimity."

Get Your Paint On

After yesterday's post I realize that after running a long run (just accomplished 13.1 miles on a treadmill! - never done that before), everything just seems brighter and more possibilities are at hand for me. Just an observation.

I came across this ecourse class and it is something that would definitely go on my bucket list. Painting...always wanted to do it just never have taken the time or have seen the ambition for it.



However, training for a marathon now pretty well takes up any free time that would be put into such a creative 'venture. Would love to do it in the future!

Just Some Thoughts

Today has been a weird day for me, kind of scattered. Slept extra long this morning (went to bed at 9:00pm and woke up different times but ended up "getting" up out of bed at 7:15am). Went to "bodyvive" which usually is simply pilates and stretching but today was almost like a dance class with music and moves.

Cleaned myself up quickly and changed and went directly to do errands before my 10:00am counseling appointment which was pretty intense and took a lot of thinking. Did various tasks between 11-12 and then had a nice session at 12. I wondered why I was so very hungry afterwards (hmmmm didn't have lunch yet) and wanted to eat everything in site.

Ended up working on Premarital Class - all workbooks done and various changes made. But feel a little frazzled and uncertain. Could b/c of a 10-13 mile run I am to do on Friday but with the impending snow I'm unsure if I'll get to do it while Ian is at childcare before I pick him up to head to Louisville for supervision. Mark will be in Louisville which I'm so excited about for him.

Wanting to get our basement area painted...don't think that will happen and want to spend time with friends. Maybe too many expectations, maybe just thinking too much or too little or trying to be too productive. I'm not sure but I don't feel right :S. Alas, just trying to figure out how to remain obedient. Today I really haven't taken time to be with God and no doubt that is part of it so while I'm driving and waiting and thinking, I think I'll discuss all of this with him.

Overcoming Fear

This morning I FINALLY did it. I got up at 4:35am to go swimming at 5:00am and out of faith that God would see me through. A) being in a bathing suit - never a strong suit for me, B) being intimidated by all these other swimmers who can actually "swim", C) trying to fit in and find a lane to swim in when people are "regulars" and probably like their particular lanes.

Well, it worked and Praise God I didn't drown and actually enjoyed this early morning swim. I didn't sleep much at all, in fact tossed and turned all night. But this morning as I got out of my card into the cold air and saw some of the sky and just listened to the sounds of the morning I thought, "hmmmm, yeah I could get used to this."

It was lovely.

Mary/Martha & Paint

This afternoon & evening a story developed and the question arose, would I be a Mary or a Martha? (see Luke 10:38-41) I ended up painting some of our basement walls with a friend and then some exciting news came to her and she left. I stood there thinking..."hmmm I had not intended to really paint but now that I have begun I must finish". All the while thinking I would not be able to go our Sunday night class "Supernatural". As time passed by I got the primer up on the dark walls and realized the reality - either I was staying home and putting another coat on, putting up the paint color and staying up later than intending while missing this awesome class. Or I just needed to let go and leave it in God's hands that I would get back to it later on this week or when time became available. I chose the path of Mary by finishing up and making sure I was to class and I did not regret it. If you want to see what this class is about go to: www.lifechurch.tv/watch/supernatural. It's Worth it and I'm learning...when I choose Mary God works in my heart and life transforms.

I Wore the Tights

‎10 miles @ 9:09-9:13 pace (I'll take it - just not the potential calf injury I might develop)


This morning at the time of 6:45 I went out to the brisk dark air to begin my run for 9-10 miles. I found myself wearing tights (without outer pants)...well I didn't just discover that I had them on or anything (that would be interesting) but rather it was an intentional choice.

I have never been a runner or athlete to wear such form-hugging sportwears. In fact, I am pretty self-conscious and always have been. However, as I ran in 2010 into the present, I finally gave up the need to hide my thighs by buying bigger & longer shorts. Unfortunately, the style of shorts I had always worn were no longer "in style" or sold by New Balance so I had to venture out into the running shorts made today for women. These shorts inevitably show your inner thighs (ever-so briefly) but nonetheless they show.

But today I wore the tights. The tights told a story of partial confidence & acceptance, not caring and running with intention and warmth. I wore the tights. The kind of tights that are so snug they show the shape of your butt. That part is the hardest for me, but I began to think 1) it's dark, 2) people out now are on a mission to get somewhere and don't care, 3) my yellow hat is way cooler, and 4) I'll be running with a good stride so you might not tell the shape :)

But alas, I wore the tights...symbolizing in some way a serious runner, an intentional woman, and independence from my critical voice in my head. I wore the tights.

One Year Ago

One Year Ago at this time I was struggling and it was bad, very bad. I was sick most of January off and on but a 3-4 day consecutive stretch made me have to think about and reconcile what I wanted and where I was going. I was walking the path back into depression or my "darkness" and one day I ended up watching "Julie and Julia". A wonderful movie whereby the main character Julie is present day begins her own renewed journey of cooking through Julia Child's cookbook "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" and along the way she finds herself through blogging and through struggle. She gains confidence and begins to have her own voice.

I found it inspiring as I'm sure many others have and secretly began my own blog (www.allowingmyself.blogspot.com) with the premise that I needed to begin allowing myself to do certain things again and find joy in them. I was disinterested in most everything and felt a deep void. Usually this happens when I'm distant from God and that was part of it but it was also because I was distant from myself and my own voice. I wanted to rediscover this voice or as Kelly Rae has been saying on her blog find myself as my own "secret ingredient".

Throughout this past year I did receive the gumption and desire to pass the LMFT licensure exam to train again for not one but two half-marathons (Cincinnati Flying Pig & Tulsa Route 66)...strive to work more hours at the hospital, pursue client's stories in counseling and aspire to be consistent in my exercise & fitness (August through December "and beyond"). As a mother I was witnessed to a baby becoming a little boy or man, our toddler and listen to him as he begins his journy of language and repetition including expressing himself in fun ways (& not so fun ways).

I was witness to Mark pursuing his reading through the Bible and inspired by his perseverence to blog and continue going even through all the Old Testament names. I could see him change over the Summer and into the Fall.

I still aspire to do many things a year, in fact probably too many things so I am trying to be realistic while at the same time piling it on. God is the most important and I need to make sure to keep it that way. I want to be available to Mark and to Ian and also feel led to continue on in my own journey of fitness and pursuit of another marathon. But this time with cross-training and with better eating habits. My desire is to lose 10lbs over this next year (healthily) and to pursue more knowledge and practice with MFT (summer & fall) while decluttering our home to potentially down-size at some point. I'd love to craft and put creativity first but this isn't the time. I have energy, I have gumption and I'm ready to MOVE.

Are you ready to MOVE? If so, where with what or doing what or just being?

10 Stress Busters

I found this helpful and to be an incentive for me from TodaysMama blog author Theresa Borchard here.
Stress is like dark chocolate. A little of it won’t kill you. In fact, small blocks here and there can be good for you, or at least give you a reason to get of bed in the morning. But chronic and severe stress can damage your body and mind, blocking the fluid communication to and from most organs–especially in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and in the limbic system, the brain’s emotional center. Believe me, you want these two systems–much like the House and Senate–running as smoothly as possible, with low levels of the delinquent stress hormones in your bloodstream. Which is why I have handy some tress busters. I use an average of five a day. Today I’m using all ten. Here they are, and good luck!

1. Simplify.
Cut your to-do list in half. How? Ask yourself this question after every item: Will I die tomorrow if this doesn’t get accomplished? I’m guessing you’ll get a lot of no’s. I’m sure Franklin Covey has a more efficient and elaborate system. But here’s mine: Every morning I immediately jot down my to-do list. Once I experience the first heart palpitation, the list gets cut in half.

2. Prioritize.
Let’s say you’ve got five huge work projects due next week, two Cub Scout commitments you promised your son, your mom’s overdue taxes on your desk, your wife’s 40th birthday celebration to plan, and your sister’s computer to fix. What do you do? You record all the tasks on a sheet of paper or on your computer and you give each one a number between 1 and 10: 10 being the most important (life threatening) to one (stupid bloody thing I signed up for). Start with the 10s. If you never get beyond the 8s, that’s okay!

3. Use pencil, not pen.
If you rely on your to-do list as much as I do, then you’ll want to start using pencil instead of pen. Because one important stress buster is to try to stay as flexible as you can. Things change! And change is not our enemy, even though our brain categorizes it as such. You want to be able to erase a task or reminder at any time, because who the heck knows what your day will be like.

4. Give away your cape.
If you haven’t already guessed by now, you are not a superpower and don’t possess supernatural qualities and capabilities. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to join the race … the human race. Which means surrendering to limitations and conditions–like the number of hours in a day (24) and the amount of time it takes to get from point A to point B. In your car. Not in your bat mobile.

5. Collaborate and cooperate.
There are lots of people out there with to-do lists that look very similar to yours. Why not let them do some of your tasks so that you all don’t have to do them? The moms around me have mastered this concept, as they have set up a babysitting co-op: one mom volunteers to watches a neighbor’s kid and by doing so earns babysitting points that she can redeem when a neighbor watches her kids. In the blogging world, I have begun to collaborate with some other mental-health writers so that we all don’t have to scan the same media outlets for depression-related stories. If I catch something I send it to them, and vice versa. It’s an effective system.

6. Laugh.
Just as chronic and severe stress can damage organic systems in our body, humor can heal. When people laugh, the autonomic nervous system mellows out and the heart is allowed to relax. Laughter can also boost the immune system, as it has been found to increase a person’s ability to fight viruses and foreign cells, and reduce the levels of three stress hormones: cortisol, epinephrine, and dopac. Plus it’s just fun to laugh. And having fun is it’s own stress buster.

7. Exercise.
Exercise relieves stress in several ways. First, cardiovascular workouts stimulate brain chemicals that foster growth of nerve cells. Second, exercise increases the activity of serotonin and/or norepinephrine. Third, a raised heart rate releases endorphins and a hormone known as ANP, which reduces pain, induces euphoria, and helps control the brain’s response to stress and anxiety. You need not to run a marathon or complete an ironman. A quick stroll in the morning or in the evening might be just enough to tell the stress hormones in your blood to scatter.

8. Stop juggling.
I realize some multi-tasking is inevitable in our rushed culture. But do we really have to simultaneously cook dinner, talk to Mom, help with homework, and check e-mail? If you were an excellent waiter or waitress in your past or present, then skip this one. However, if you have trouble chewing gum and walking at the same time like I do, you might try your best to concentrate on one activity at a time.

9. Build boundaries.
Speaking of activities, get some boundaries, ASAP–meaning designate a place and time for certain things so that your brain doesn’t have to wear so many hats at the same time. I thought this was impossible as a mom who works from home until I made myself abide by some rules: computer is off when I’m not working, and computer stays off in the evening and on weekends. My brain adjusted nicely and appreciated the notice of when and where each hat was required, and it actually started to relax a tad.

10. Think globally.
I don’t say this to induce a guilt trip. No, no, no. Because guilt trips compound stress. What I mean here is a simple reminder that compared to other problems in our world today–abject poverty in Somalia or Cambodia–the things that we stress about are pretty minor. In other words, if I shift my perspective a little, I can see that there are far worse dilemmas than my poor royalty figures on a few books. Put another way: Don’t sweat the small stuff, and most of it is small stuff.

Therese J. Borchard writes the daily Beliefnet.com blog Beyond Blue. Her memoir “Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes” is just out, followed by a handsome book of therapy notes called “The Pocket Therapist” in April 2010. Subscribe to Beyond Blue here or visit her at www.ThereseBorchard.com.

Stories to Show & Tell

STORIES

2010
* Ian's birthday
* Christmas gifts - Ian's favorites
* Ian's "Sleep" Game & Overdose

2011
* Ian's big boy bed
* Resolve - not wanting to psych myself - best shape now
- pre-baby body is back
* New Routine
* Christmas storage - revamped
* Ian's Clothes

WORD for 2011

My Word for the year is RESOLVE...meaning to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine (to do something or to follow a course of action); to make up one's mind, AND to practice a firmness of purpose or intent.

I plan, pray and seek to work towards being purposeful and determined to stay fit and active the entire year of 2011 (training 3 different seasons, working towards a triathlon and another mini at some point).

I have a resolve - a determination to fully be present in the activities I do, which means saying "no" to those activities and meetings that I cannot fully give my attention to.

WORDS from the past:
2006 - ??
2007 - Simplify
2008 - Grace
2009 - Give
2010 - Balance
2011 - Resolve