One Year Ago

One Year Ago at this time I was struggling and it was bad, very bad. I was sick most of January off and on but a 3-4 day consecutive stretch made me have to think about and reconcile what I wanted and where I was going. I was walking the path back into depression or my "darkness" and one day I ended up watching "Julie and Julia". A wonderful movie whereby the main character Julie is present day begins her own renewed journey of cooking through Julia Child's cookbook "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" and along the way she finds herself through blogging and through struggle. She gains confidence and begins to have her own voice.

I found it inspiring as I'm sure many others have and secretly began my own blog (www.allowingmyself.blogspot.com) with the premise that I needed to begin allowing myself to do certain things again and find joy in them. I was disinterested in most everything and felt a deep void. Usually this happens when I'm distant from God and that was part of it but it was also because I was distant from myself and my own voice. I wanted to rediscover this voice or as Kelly Rae has been saying on her blog find myself as my own "secret ingredient".

Throughout this past year I did receive the gumption and desire to pass the LMFT licensure exam to train again for not one but two half-marathons (Cincinnati Flying Pig & Tulsa Route 66)...strive to work more hours at the hospital, pursue client's stories in counseling and aspire to be consistent in my exercise & fitness (August through December "and beyond"). As a mother I was witnessed to a baby becoming a little boy or man, our toddler and listen to him as he begins his journy of language and repetition including expressing himself in fun ways (& not so fun ways).

I was witness to Mark pursuing his reading through the Bible and inspired by his perseverence to blog and continue going even through all the Old Testament names. I could see him change over the Summer and into the Fall.

I still aspire to do many things a year, in fact probably too many things so I am trying to be realistic while at the same time piling it on. God is the most important and I need to make sure to keep it that way. I want to be available to Mark and to Ian and also feel led to continue on in my own journey of fitness and pursuit of another marathon. But this time with cross-training and with better eating habits. My desire is to lose 10lbs over this next year (healthily) and to pursue more knowledge and practice with MFT (summer & fall) while decluttering our home to potentially down-size at some point. I'd love to craft and put creativity first but this isn't the time. I have energy, I have gumption and I'm ready to MOVE.

Are you ready to MOVE? If so, where with what or doing what or just being?