He doesn't look too much different.
This post won't do justice to my feelings or the experience of leaving Troy for a few days to go back to Jasper. There are some similarities between the communities but huge differences in the scenarios and individual growth in myself. Yet we were called to go to both communities and have been called to love people.
My role at CCJ looked very different than here at TCC. My personality was/is pretty much the same but man have I grown in motherhood & in my relationship with Christ and will continue to grow here in Ohio. When you look back and go back you realize all over again why such struggles occurred...why such friendships grew or fell out...why you were so confused at times about certain things and didn't pursue them. Hindsight is 20/20 and yet there would have been some decisions that I would have made quicker or another path I might have taken but if I would have, my heart may not have grown the way it did.
It was pretty surreal driving back there and I think it did help that Mark was preaching rather than us just 'visiting' because it helped me to feel more connected. Although children were taller, families looked a little different and staff were added & changed-it didn't feel all that different. And maybe that was the eerie part. The part of that, that made me stop and think "wait a second, but 2 years have gone by and here we are with Ian-5 and Elijah 16 months". It didn't take long to remind myself once the 1400 people came and went that time has moved forward...because I also remember the overwhelming feeling I'd feel most Sundays with not knowing so many people. It's just a different animal.
Now my role is different and I work full-time whereas I did not in Jasper. I was pretty connected with the community there with coaching but not yet here. My time here is a "wait and see"..."give it time"..."give yourself grace and understand that there is a bigger picture going on". It's more about obedience than it is about what I want (and I want many things by the way) but I know they are not all good for me.
So here is to hanging with people Saturday night, feeling connected with them again and watching our boys have a blast. Here is to experiencing such a vibrant and ever-changing environment. Here is to not sleeping much and having our boys do the same -- eeeekkkkkk. And here is to traveling through hilly country and staying with dear life-long friends. It's not goodbye, just see you later.
Lastly, a toast to where God has brought us. To the mystery that awaits us and the new life-long friendships, the new families we meet at TCC and in the community, our current core group who supports us and my coworkers whom I seriously adore. Here's to a new journey "in a roller-coaster of a different color" as I've stated before. Here's to a church family who I think is ready for new changes and to move forward...to a wonderful group of women I get to be a part of and to an awesome student and children's ministries for my boys to grow up in. So yes, it's different and I'm different. Here's to new roads to be run. (But yes I'll still miss Jasper - even with a Penn Station, KOHL's, Coldstone, Red Lobster..etc..etc only 10 minutes away now). Cheers!
