I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm slow, I'm improving, I don't want to care, I care, I'm done, I'll keep going, it's too much, I can bare it, this is exhausting and what I think in some capacity on a daily basis. Whether it refers to being a mom, being a counselor, being a runner, or being Kara - I think it.
I'm ever caught up in this mind tug-of-war over how I see myself and what I do or how I am being. Ever tired of my own thoughts or actions. Somewhat depressed actually. Exercise, prayer and talking with others or doing something meaningful to help usually pulls me out of it. But...it's always waiting there. Ready to bounce, ready to demean and ready to tell me all the things that I really am not. Those things I strive to be but fall short of. So I'm figuring it out. Once again...
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