Are you Living in Fear and/or Anxiety?

These two emotions/creatures whatever you want to call them drive so many of our actions and often we are unaware of this. We simply react to situations and others as if our reactions are simply from our personality or just "natural" but there is nothing natural about fear. We weren't born with fear - we learned fear along with anxiety from our surroundings and possibly some of us from some biological roots.

In Bowen's model - he considers how chronic anxiety can be transmitted generationally through families:
family emotional processes are transferred and maintained over several generations -- Passing chronic anxiety from generation to generation
Think about your family - did this occur? I know it did for me. It was more anxiety than fear for me but that followed along eventually.

It's interesting how this theory resonates with me and speaks of the term "differentiation" which refers to how a person is able to separate thoughts and emotions from their family-of-origin rather than being controlled by anxiety (this is my wording)
This is taken from "Study Guide for MFT" by Dr. Linton Hutchinson for my studying for the exam:

A differentiated self is able to be guided by thoughts or emotion
* They recognize they need others (HOW MANY OF US WON'T ASK FOR HELP)
* But they depend less on the acceptance and approval of others
* Individuals who are differentiated:
Are able to stay rational, clear headed, and able to critically assess the situation without being
clouded by emotion even when faced with rejection, conflict, or criticism
These family members are confident in their own thinking, and they make their decisions thoughtfully
(not because they are giving in to relationship pressures)
They can either support another family member's point of view without becoming wishy-washy or reject
another's viewpoint without becoming hostile (BOUNDARIES)

It goes on to say for this model - I found this interesting and I've thought about this a lot with working with families.
* It describes the primary way parents transmit their emotional problems to a child
* For example: 1. The child that receives projection will have trouble differentiating
2. This will, in turn, effect his interactions with his own spouse and/or children
* The parent focuses on a child out of fear that something is wrong with the child
* The parent interprets the child's behavior as confirming the fear
* The parent treats the child as if something is really wrong with the child

A lot of times parents "self-propheci" their children into their fears. The phrase that comes to mind for me are mothers who tell their daughters "you're going to get fat if you eat that" OR paranoia over a child's potential to drink alcohol (so instead of educating them you just assume they are doing it out of fear).

Just some interesting thoughts - you couldn't grow up not being affected by your family's level of anxiety, fear or differentiation but as an adult you have choices and can be aware of how you react.
Different models and worldviews have different perspectives so of course this is just one. But one that I do see some validity in for sure.