Creating a New Story about Myself

There is so much to write about, so much to discover, be curious about and learn and so much to simply get through each day in this life. I was reminded while at CCJ (www.ccjasper.com) today about asking myself good questions - those hard questions that at times are difficult to answer. "Whose applause are you living for?" "What are you disappointed with?" "What do you worry about?" Ultimately if we're not focused on God - we make our own idols.

Sometimes I'm very creative and think about life out of the box. It is much more than cause and effect, or consequence and blessing. Our words mean something...what we do means something...
I'm thinking more along the lines of how each of our actions affects someone else whether we realize it or not. We might inspire or deter someone to make a decision simply by our own growth. Example: if I begin growing and working to become more healthy in my daily life inevitably this will also move onto someone else and they might think differently. A friend once told me - give me any choice for a place to eat and that is fine but I will always choose the healthy one. Wow - really? Every time she will choose the healthy one? That was powerful to me because it was a definite. So I started thinking - how would my life change if I had a definite like that or if I practice a definite choice like that? Slowly I've begun to and it has made a difference.
Each time I see a new client and what they are going through it effects me in some way or comes back in my mind later on. I constantly have to work on boundaries because it is so easy to be sucked into another person's life and their worries, troubles and stories. I have to reaffirm and tell myself who I am, who I desire to be and where I'm going just because I'm human.

As you can tell I just feel like writing and writing and writing. Sorting through my thoughts, knowing there is some simplicity in there somewhere.
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Automatic writing. I sometimes use this when I have a lot on my mind. I find a lot of release in simply writing all the thoughts, memories, emotions down. To write without considering grammar or spelling, using any font that speaks to me in the moment – perhaps a script font. I then incorporate the writing into my page, not as journaling per se, but as a decorative element - part of the background. The writing doesn’t have to eligible, only you need to know what you wrote and why. The writing process itself is supposed to be the therapy part, not necessarily being able to read it again at a later point.