WE ARE INFLUENCED

WE ARE INFLUENCED: here are some interesting insights from a couple of reviews of great books.
“From Mary Pfiffer’s Book – Reviving Ophelia”,
Girls struggle with mixed messages:
Be beautiful, but beauty is only skin deep.
Be sexy, but not sexual.
Be honest, but don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
Be independent, but be nice.
Be smart, but not so smart that you threaten boys.
Girls have long been evaluated on the basis of appearance and caught in myriad double binds; achieve, but not too much; be polite, but be yourself; be feminine and adult; be aware of our cultural heritage, but don’t comment on sexism.”
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“From Jackson Katz’s summary of ‘Tough Guise’, The myth of the real man is linked intimately with the phenomenon of the tough guise wherein boys and men learn to show the world only those parts of themselves that the dominant culture has defined as manly. Even at a remarkable young age, boys are likely to be well-versed in the rules of the macho game. Males absorb early on and from everywhere that not only is there such a thing as a real man but also that there is a price to pay for not qualifying as one. For boys across racial, ethnic and socioeconomic lines, being a real man often means being tough and strong, fitting into the narrow box that defines ideal manhood.”