I evaluated my key priorities including those priorities that are quite easy for me to fulfill without accountability and then the the key priority that is currently right in front of me that needs focused on whereby I DO NEED ACCOUNTABILITY.
This is me, authentic, vulnerable and putting it all out there. One of my biggest strengths is to encourage others emotionally and physically, even spiritually and mentally but the area that I struggle with hands-down in my health are: my emotions.
They sway me, they ebb and flow. They taunt me. They have become a tool for the enemy and my worst critic. THIS is the area, along with strengthening by surrendering my spiritual soul to Christ, that I believe I need to begin to refocus on during this season.
This impacts my pace, my mentality and how I cope. I do believe that we tell ourselves (mental) deeply impacts our emotions and thus our behavioral. My mental world feels like chaos at times. I'm driven, I'm passionate, I'm intense.
But I'm also critical of myself (my message is to be GENTLE), I'm expecting of myself (my message is to have GRACE) and my tendency is to hold on when in fact I need to LET GO.
I know I'm not crazy but the way I think sometimes drives me crazy; hence it's time for a change. My emotional health MUST change.
I can ask myself all the therapeutic questions and motivational questions I want to but at the the end of the day I HAVE to do the work. I must be accountable to trust girl friends and to Mark to do the work. And sometimes the work means SITTING...RESTING...READING...STOPPING.
This is so counterintuitive especially in this culture of MORE, MORE, MORE. I know I'm Made for MORE than this struggle. I know He is working within me for the next season. It's just sometimes hard to accept the PRESENT season.
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