My Noom Experience 5/2020 to 2/2021: when pursuing a goal (healthy habits) differently, we must give ourself grace to take a risk and try something new. Throughout this time, I have learned that we can still make changes despite the "bad habits" we struggle to shake, WHILE showing ourselves kindness for how far we do move in the process.
We can be frustrated that we still fell into the same self-sabotage trap again and again, AND have compassion for every setback. It's not black or white -- it's grey all over. We can still stay committed to our desire for a better outcome and to continue to treat ourselves (body, mind, spirit) with respect and prioritize our wellbeing over other distractions in the world.
So much of the process of change is about meeting yourself where you are, how you are, as who you are, and honoring what you truly need. Caring will turn into appreciating, appreciating will turn into affection, affection into adoration, and adoration somehow into love. God's love begins, endures and ends this process with us as we invite Him in.
It began really well and I was really on reading the articles and tracking my food to the point that I think was tracking 400+ straight meals and it did help and revealed some patterns in my behavior towards food and stress. I hate more water-dense foods overall and often chose a starchy vegetable over a processed carb.
Unfortunately as August came around and schooling stress with my boys was even more present and decision fatigue became prevalent, my emotional eating habits could no longer be put the side. I needed to cope and somehow I needed to cope in the immediate moment. I could no longer keep using the techniques that worked in the summer to help me make healthier choices.
The Fall became an attempt to turn the tide as I worked through the curriculum of the program. It was a lot of Cognitive Behavioral concepts and writing tasks. I was part of a group as well and there were some weeks it was helpful to share but then not so much in other weeks.
I found that the tasks would build up in my mind and I found it difficult to complete one after the other without really gripping onto what I was learning to be able to sufficiently practice the actions I needed to take.
I then slowed down but felt behind for the next several weeks and then could feel myself giving in and giving up. The stress of my boys going in-person and then one shifting to virtual thoroughly exasperated my emotional eating as routines kept changing.
My youngest then also became virtual and again routines changed and then the holidays were upon us.
Each day is truly a choice, but long lasting coping patterns are very hard to change and I found myself again gaining the weight back with the emotional eating while trying to cope with the anxiety and stress of daily living.
I had paid in the beginning of October for four more months and did enjoy seeing the graph of data I could glean to review my patterns around "that time of the month" as well as other times. It opened my eyes to how much my body changed during the month without me every noticing before.
I stopped tracking and was texting to my "goal specialist" but found that trying to keep goals while having severe PMS and headaches along with other symptoms simply wasn't doable. I had to give myself grace and let go of my determination to seek health in this manner.
As it stands I gained back 10 pounds out of 15 I had worked towards losing which essentially is the emotional eating. I'd like to continue to collect the data for the Spring but am deciding to cancel the subscription beginning February 5th as I feel that I'm not fully invested in this particular program anymore. It feels more defeating than helpful at this point so I will cancel and I will not miss out on anything. Because I experimented and failed in some aspects while learning more in others. Isn't that life though? A Work-in-Progress we ALL are.
What works for us in various seasons of life may not work for us in other seasons.
My summer successes don't correlate to my winter routines and so I need rest in grace and try again in a different manner.
I have written a lot during this time in my notebooks and I will continue to write.
For instance, on my last day I wrote a self-care syllabus
1) Body - something that takes care of your physical body (movement and rest)
2) Mind - something that support your mental well-being (good music and self-talk),
3) Spirit - something that nourishes your soul (daily Bible reading and prayer)
Writing notes to ourselves is very important and impactful. Exploring new methods and modes for change is also important and needed. We do "muscle-confusion" in many different manners, not just in exercising. Connection with friends is also important and something that I often neglect or discard.
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