With all the things I am reading (i.e. Smell Like Sheep; Leading and Loving It blog; Chazown purpose statement; pinterest boards about running, Halloween, Thanksgiving, pathways):
I caught in the mystery of: "how on earth am I to make even more time either for myself, for my kids, to be a good-creative-inspiring-godly mother and wife and to cook?!"
It's a frustrating journey at times working full-time and expecting so much of myself when I know that "simple is best" and that "less is more." I used to have a very large system of creative bones that over time have lessened and weakened to the point that I just get frustrated knowing that I can't complete the creative endeavor in the time-span that I have to accomplish it. So I don't even start it. I used to really enjoy creativity and projects.
There was a time in my life (very young though) that I thought, hey art therapy is what I'm going to do, then I picked a boy over art and music over art and well in retrospect I was just scared and wanted to stay in my comfort zone.
Each time a painting class or some sort of mixed media class pops up in my attention-span, part of me longs to just do it to see if I'd really like as much as I think I might. I might call it a regret that I didn't do it or just a shift in direction at the time.
I just wish I could be more things to more people but I can't. I know that God has made me for a specific purpose for His Kingdom and it's really not up to me - it is but I have a lot of foolish thinking that gets in the way - I'd rather be obedient and blessed rather than rebellious and filled with pride which leads to pain and hurt or in my case depression. "I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
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