Each workshop I went to was chalk full of interesting new research and information about sexual issues that couples and families encounter in this day and age, including the medical factors, differing sexual desires in a couple and the basics of sexual addiction with treatment process for couples and families.
In the Thursday morning workshop: Understanding the Medical Factors Behind Couple’s Sexual Problems (by Jean D. Koehler, PhD, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, Therapist and Supervisor, Asst. Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of Louisville Medical School), common medical causes were discussed along with treatments of sexual dysfunction, making referrals, and opportunities for further training. I was quite pleased to find that with working in a hospital PRN I had picked up enough terminology and medical language that I could understand most of the terms and surgical procedures that were presented. She discussed a lot about the effects of such procedures on a couple's sex life & the impact on their own differing desires). It was interesting to learn more about the impact of "free" testosterone (definition & amounts) in the human body and how this hormone impacts the regulation of sexual desire and arousal. I'd have to review my notes but most interesting to me was the effect after some cancer treatments. I would definitely like to look more into this subject to better understand how patient are being educated on how medical procedures may impact their marital relationships. I think men and women should be equipped with this information.
The Thursday afternoon workshop: Resolving Desire Differences by Jean A. Campbell, LMFT. Jean blended solution-focused techniques with a holistic approach of David Schnarch to help us as therapists to guide our clients out of toxic sexual interactions stemming from desire differences. Again I would need to revisit my notes on this but found that I agreed a lot with the emphasis on differentiation and how ultimately part of work may be in helping a spouse or both spouses to understand that their partner does not fully "complete" you and that the problem does not all lie in that other person's plate. Acknowledging and owning your own stuff and what you are yearning or desiring for that other person is your "stuff" and not theirs. It is your expectation and although you desire to be completely safe with that person...other things and desires get in the way and this is a lot of misinterpretation and miscommunication. (I may scan my notes here if I think about it - a lot to think about on this one). But I do see this one a lot in counseling.
Thursday late afternoon, evening was: The Ethics Behind Working With Sexually Related Issues by Stefanie Carnes, PhD. Although I was completely exhausted this provided an opportunity to learn what Federal Guidelines there are for reporting and working with someone possibly struggling viewing child pornography or other illegal actions of a sexual nature. She provided various role plays for us as therapist to do with our "clients" (our colleagues) and it helped to take out the shock value of such discoveries. It was good for me to talk through as a therapist b/c often times you don't know what issues may really be occurring with this person in front of you and they are only telling you one piece of information at a time. There for differing views in the room pertaining to the reporting aspect of this subject which honestly was nice to see since I was struggling with what I would do in certain circumstances.
All day Friday was Stefanie Carnes again with: the Basics and Beyond for Treating Today's Sexual Issues. I was pretty exhausted from the day before with just a lot of useful information. This workshop provided me with guidelines of how to navigate the minefield of family therapy for sexual addiction. There was a lengthy discussion about the criteria for sexual addiction (what it is and how we clarify it which was very interesting. She gave us an assessment tool that appeared to be very helpful. The hard part for me is when I began to gain a better understanding of the computer pornography industry and its impact on individuals, youth, and families. We were given demonstrations on particular iPhone Apps and it revealed an even darker side of this world than I am used to. Don't get me wrong I know it's there...but I do not participate in it nor do I research it myself to better understand a client's frame of mind. (For me that is too dangerous and I am wired in such a way that potentially exploring such things is not beneficial at all). So to say the least this was disturbing and very hard for me to sit through. Plus my paranoia began to work, but luckily God is so good helped me to see that His grace is enough and trusting in Him and His plan is ultimately the best way to think about and understand such behavior in our world. This understanding helps me to better relate with those close to me and not to distrust or be suspicious of things going on.
She utilized art therapy to show how spouses experienced the betrayal and how the client also felt their experience of the addiction (such shame & darkness). The impact on the family was heart-wrenching. Difficult therapeutic situations were presented and these are regular everyday people...we all fall but WOW these people fall the hardest I do believe regardless of their pasts that brought them to this desperate place of using sex or pornography to numb, to gradify, and to escape.
Towards the end we were facilitating the couple disclosure process and lastly appropriate interventions for children (of most interest to me) along with receiving resources for treatment of sexual addiction. I am a resource person because I am a generalist in where I do therapy and how I have to do therapy in a small town. My supervisor is priceless to me and invaluable.
Future: So looking to the future I began jotting down ideas for a workshop to do covering How to Help & Protect your Children to Develop a Health Sexuality. There are a lot of resources for helping parents to protect their children from online predators but the discussion for developing a health sexuality is not as prevalent. Below are a few links I am currently reading and may utilize some of their information for my own workshop.
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality: Focus on the Family
Resources for Healthy Sexuality: The Penners
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality: How to Start Early by Ron Jackson
Healthy Sexuality Development
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