Reflecting...

Re-evaluating perspective...something that we all need to do in this hum-drum of life. Too many of us just let life happen to the point that we only react to what is given to us rather than stopping to pause...stopping to reflect on experience.

When I stop, when I pause, when I give time back to the One who knows me more than I know myself...it is divine time and time well spent. I wish I could understand the timing for events in our lives but I can't. I wish I could discern why people experience trauma and pain but I can't. What I do know is that there is more happening than just what we see. 

There's another purpose happening right now, there's a reason for this occurrence. There's a reason I did the race relay when I did...there's a reason I accomplished the presentation I did this past week when I did and there's a reason I'll be taking a licensure test here soon...and lastly there's really we'll be starting the adoption process when we start it.

I can't explain timing, I can't rationalize the things I see at work with babies and their moms. I can't always determine what is the absolute best or right way for a case to go. I'm finite...I'm flawed like everyone else but I'm meant to be here...now...to cross paths with multiple people and to be different--not only in work but in life, in running, in art, in all aspects of myself.

I'm so not together and neither is anyone else but man I meet a lot of people who give off that expectation of togetherness. I just hope people know that I care...I care deeply, I feel deeply, I think deeply and chances are if I don't give that to someone then I'm in my own turmoil. May His Spirit be strong in me...may I seek Him and not my own desires...may I let go of what I think I know and what I think should happen in my life...