When Health is not Optimal

 I have been experiencing GI issues since March and it all began with a change in nutrition. Since that time I have tried several different methods to improve these issues, but it has been difficult with the transitions of moving to a new house in a new neighborhood. This move felt like a "death by paper-cuts" due to all the tedious tasks that needed one, differing expectations of how the move was going to go by my husband and I and overall, being at the mercy of things not in my control.

Navigating the usually daily tasks began to feel overwhelming and also trying to help our kids and especially our dogs to be set up for success in our new environment was challenging.

There is always grief in a move even for really good reasons and this time has been no different. Memories pop up and reflections about simpler times or how we got through trying times as a family in our old house. Even the dreaming phase in the new house takes mental energy. It is exhausting, exhilarating and excruciating for what seems like simultaneously. 

I'm Anxious About...

BRAIN DUMP! 

I'm anxious about:

* buying or finding a new to us dining room table and chairs (I know what I want) but it either takes 4-6 weeks to be delivered to us or I have to coordinate a trip to go pick up said table and upholstered chairs

* my body (she isn't how she used to be and I don't have the motivation to even take one extra step than my normal right now) -- more importantly my pelvic structure has changed and shifted so my digestive system is working different --> need to go to the doctor's

* my job (I'm tired of pursuing and creatively outreaching my clients...I care, I do, but the effort that I feel like I'm putting in has surpassed the effort I feel like they have - they often don't have the capacity to maintain our scheduled appointments and I'm worn with rescheduling and having to change my own schedule to accommodate)

* my house (all the little things out of place or undone) - we moved in early April, I know it will be a "work in progress" but can it be done, or at least one entire room be done?!

* how much caffeine I want to consume (I just want liquid energy these days)

* my skin (from blemishes to scars to imperfections and dark spots but primarily scabs-it doesn't bounce back, it indents and although it protects my organs and veins, it just looks and feels rough and spotty)

* my soul (it feels worn and flimsy - like the spiritual muscles are not firing with faith and intention like they used to do so)

* our dogs (Katie is 8 and getting older and she is our loyal, territorial, sweet, cuddly, wise and most human dog), (Ivy is a follow the leader, lacks marbles in the brain and is the most loving and curious pup that loves zoomies), (Max...so cute, cuddly, yearning for love, escape artist who may end up killing another dog if he is triggered)

* our dogs barking...at anything (it's loud and mostly unexpected)

* lack of a morning routine (it's hard to get out of bed these days...I remember days in my 30's when although I didn't want to get up-I had such determination and intention that it was 3-2-1 and out of bed with no thinking and immediately getting into the routine of movement and caring for myself)

* my own excuses and complaining

* feeling paranoid about my surroundings at home and in the city with working (being a white, middle-aged, average to short height female)

* living on a corner - cars going by

* having to go to the bathroom for what seems like all the time

* becoming dehydrated (past experiences fuel this one)

* not using my gifts or experiences that God has given to me; however, shutting down is also not a good alternative

Welcome to 2025 :: Traveling Light

 2024 was this past year which was “chasing excess” — it was suppose to be “come alive” or I don’t want to live an unlived life….so living and instead it was chasing excess.

So Right Now: I’m sitting on our couch, tree is down, ornaments piled on the dog crate, fake tree laying on the ottoman with Xmas nik-naks, candles lit on the mantle, Max is scratching his butt against the couch, Ivy is sleeping down at my feet, my laptop is on my lap and your voice is coming out of the speakers, brown noise is on the Alexa in our connecting kitchen, and the living room floor is fairly clear since I swept it after taking the tree down.

Raining heavily outside and gloomy looking.

—————————

Tilling the soil: preparing my mind, heart and body for letting go of “stuff”, items of value that I have not used and will not use, items and things I thought I wanted or my family would use…knowing that I do not know HAVE to know where things go. I DON’T HAVE TO KNOW!!! 

The hard part is the actual movement of these items OUT of the house. 

——————————

Drumroll….2025……..
The book is “The Year of Less” by Cait Flanders, a Canadian, who is now a freehance writer and was 29 at the time of writing when she blogged about her journey of choosing recovery, decluttering and rules of her shopping ban in pursuit of less. Excellent book.

2025 :: Traveling Light 

In fact I think that I have done it in the past but it’s different for me now and feels more pressing and needed than ever before.

In "The Year of Less," Cait Flanders chronicles her transformative journey of living with intention and reducing consumerism in her life. By committing to a year of minimalism, Cait discovers the profound impact of decluttering both her physical space and mental landscape. Here are ten key lessons and insights from the book:

1. The Power of Intentionality: Cait emphasizes the importance of being intentional about one’s choices. By identifying her values and priorities, she learns to make more conscious decisions that align with her goals, rather than succumbing to societal pressures or impulsive desires.

2. Consumerism and Its Effects: The book explores the negative impact of consumer culture on mental health and well-being. Cait reflects on how excessive shopping and materialism contributed to her feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction, prompting her to seek a more meaningful life.

3. The Joy of Decluttering: One of the key components of Cait's journey is the process of decluttering her possessions. She discovers that letting go of physical items creates space for emotional clarity and a sense of freedom, allowing her to focus on what truly matters.

4. Creating a Shopping Ban: Cait implements a shopping ban for a year, committing to only purchasing essentials. This challenge forces her to reassess her relationship with money and consumption, highlighting the difference between needs and wants.

5. The Value of Experiences Over Things: Throughout her year of less, Cait learns to prioritize experiences over material possessions. She finds that meaningful relationships, travel, and personal growth bring greater joy than any item she could buy.

6. Mindfulness and Self-Reflection: The journey prompts Cait to engage in mindfulness practices and self-reflection. By slowing down and examining her thoughts and feelings, she gains insights into her motivations and desires, leading to greater self-awareness.

7. Building Community and Connections: Cait emphasizes the importance of community and relationships in her journey. By connecting with others who share similar values, she finds support and encouragement, reinforcing the idea that personal growth often thrives in collaborative environments.

8. Understanding Emotional Triggers: The author explores the emotional triggers that lead to shopping and consumer behavior. By identifying these triggers, Cait learns to address the underlying feelings, such as boredom or insecurity, rather than using shopping as a coping mechanism.

9. Learning to Say No: Cait learns the importance of setting boundaries and saying no to things that do not align with her values. This skill empowers her to protect her time, energy, and resources, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life.

10. Embracing Imperfection and Growth: Throughout her journey, Cait acknowledges that the process of simplifying her life is not linear and that setbacks are part of growth. She embraces imperfection and understands that the journey toward minimalism and intentional living is ongoing.

In "The Year of Less," Cait Flanders provides a candid and inspiring account of her quest to live a more intentional and fulfilling life by reducing consumerism. By applying these ten key lessons, readers can reflect on their own relationships with material possessions and consider the benefits of embracing minimalism and mindfulness in their lives. The book serves as a powerful reminder that true happiness and fulfillment often come from within, rather than from external possessions.

Right Now :: Clifty Falls Inn State Park

Spring Break 2024 - Enjoying the trails, indoors swimming pools and access to watching ESPN.

The dogs are also enjoying the time with napping and walking and so many smells.

Beginning Again

Wow, 2022 into 2023 was a ride like nothing I anticipated!

I was working at writing in 2022 and came across an email in my inbox from a recruiter at Cincinnati Children's. I was curious, but not overly interested as I had not been working outside the home (as I was doing my own thing with coaching and art and whatnot). 

But this email and this job description peaked my interest because of working with women with depression; specifically postpartum moms. What? There's a job for this!!?? Cool! So I let it sit with me for a couple of days and then discussed with my husband that I just wondered about doing an interview. Well, one thing led to another and to another and the ball began rolling. We set a start date in June 2022 while credentialling for being medical staff was approved and they would prepare to bring me on.

Whew, what I did not anticipate was how working from home with my boys over the summer was HARD and I began to see some of my healthy habits shifting. I became more focused on working, striving and pouring top energy into doing therapy for these women, connecting with the pediatric clinics and cultivating new systems in my life. 

And as winter months came, I ate and ate and ate, and I stopped working out like I had been because "I'd rather focus on the next session." Gradually I watched the scale go up and my clothes become tighter. Every week, I could see what direction I was going and quarterly I would re-evaluate, but not fully commit.

Fastforward to today and I'm more than 15-17 pounds heavier, have less muscle, have much less energy and sit most of my work days (whether driving to home therapy sessions to sit or sitting in front of a screen for telehealth sessions). I'm lucky if I get 5,000 steps!

I have LOVED BODI (beachbody on demand), but the choice fatigue continued to hit me, and I just didn't feel like moving like I used to-especially if it was 30 minutes or more. Forget about 45 minutes! What full-time working mom has 45 minutes to sweat and then clean up! And I was not about to sacrifice my sleep (that was Kara in her 30's, she is now in her 40's).

So this is Day ONE of using a different Lifestyle and Nutrition Company's resources and custom meal plan. This time I paid for a customized meal plan because although I KNOW how to develop a meal plan and do ALL the steps. I DO NOT WANT TO DO IT. I want someone else to do it for me and sure enough, it is working. She (the coach) calculated out my appropriate macros and caloric intake and now I simply have to follow it "mostly". I do substitutes for proteins, carbs, veggies or fruits if I need to.

I JUST NEED A MINDSET SHIFT. I still love BODI, but sometimes it just becomes repetitive. So cheers to day one!!

Welcome to 2024 :: Cultivating Aliveness

 Welcome to 2024 ::  Cultivating Aliveness

2023 brought A LOT of growth for our family and various challenges (again a normal year for us): 

• Mark began his podcast "Mental Health and Ministry" and has interviewed several people. It has been life-giving for him and frankly he's really, really good at it. He discusses depression in ministry and how to support someone who is struggling. 

• Kara completed one year with Cincinnati Children's in June with pioneering the Moving Beyond Depression program working with postpartum mothers and mothers of 0-3 year olds with maternal depression. It has been exciting and exhausting and she did put herself to the side along the way. Her self-care has had good rhythms and not so good rhythms. In the end, she is ready for a recalibration of serious magnitude and to pursue vitality.

• Ian began 9th grade and began playing soccer last spring FOR THE FIRST TIME, ran Cross Country again and in his free time enjoys playing computer games, at one point playing chess, rapping songs and working out. He did start a McDonald's job in the summer and did really well, but he learned that working in fast-food is not where he wants to be, but it really helped him grow as a person. "People are mean mom!" "Yes, yes they can be," I agreed.

• Elijah began 5th grade, remains fascinated by dinosaurs, played soccer again and specifically Goalie position this past Fall, and enjoys playing Roblox, Fortnite and Nitro Typing in his free time.

• Katie is 8 years old now, still loves to cuddle in your face, bait Ivy into take her raw-hides so she can grab them back and continues to love car rides.

• Ivy is 3 and a half years old and plays like a puppy with zoomy fits and then long naps. She still sits like a princess and growls like a bear. She is remains submissive but her growl scares things away.

• We are very grateful for God’s continued faithfulness, peace and His humor. We have seen so much growth in both of our boys and in ourselves. We look forward to see how His hand works this year. Much Love to you! 

• The Messmores

Creating A Guiding Writing Statement

The entire process of creating a statement that summarizes why I write and who I write for has been a challenge. I have had to dig deep into my own experiences, gifts and potential contributions to this world to really create this statement. There are several different formats I have utilized in preparing this statement and each have put a different spin on the issues I choose to focus on. Nonetheless, three years later I feel like I have narrowed down this statement to be something clear and mostly concise.

Hope*Writers (Guided Hope Circle) Format:
Problem: Women are stuck, living in pain, disengaged, in survival mode

Cause: Pain, Disappointed by life circumstances and relationships, Seeing through a lens of pain 

Solution: I provide four practical principles to move them towards a lens of HOPE, which reignites a passion for life. 

I help __________ (describe your reader)

• To _____________(what you help them with) 

• Through ___________(how you help them) 

I help women stuck in survival mode, disengaged and disappointed to move from experiencing life through a lens of pain to a lens of hope by practicing four principles that reignites their passion for life. 

Donald Miller (Story Brand's) Format: 

Problem: Women are stuck, living in pain, disengaged, in survival mode

Today many women (experience life or see) through a lens of pain and are stuck living in survival mode, disengaged and struggling to work through life’s disappointments.

Explain your plan/product to help them: Book

I provide practical/experiential steps for women to move from experiencing life through this lens of pain into a lens of hope 

Describe a successful ending to their story: reigniting a passion for life

to reignite a passion for life, so they can gain energy and build courage to thrive.

Today many women are living in survival mode, disengaged and struggling to work through life’s disappointments. I write about four practical principles that move women from survival mode to thrive mode in shifting from a lens of pain to a lens of hope reigniting their passion for life.