Getting Up

The greatest feat, is getting up after you fall down. And you do it again, and again, and again. But it never really does get old.

I'm reminded of many couples I see and friends I have where you have a fight or another argument and that last argument "was it" for you, you've had it and you're done or the world tells you "get out" and yet it is relearning to get back up and to humble yourself before God...and possibly before your partner or even standing strong with humility. It's the art of getting back up that makes life exciting and torturous. Moving forward, keeping on and not stopping. When you stop or runaway - that is when things get messy UNLESS it is full about face where you're going towards God and away from your own way.

We all fall, we all stumble and we all have to get back up.

Are you Living in Fear and/or Anxiety?

These two emotions/creatures whatever you want to call them drive so many of our actions and often we are unaware of this. We simply react to situations and others as if our reactions are simply from our personality or just "natural" but there is nothing natural about fear. We weren't born with fear - we learned fear along with anxiety from our surroundings and possibly some of us from some biological roots.

In Bowen's model - he considers how chronic anxiety can be transmitted generationally through families:
family emotional processes are transferred and maintained over several generations -- Passing chronic anxiety from generation to generation
Think about your family - did this occur? I know it did for me. It was more anxiety than fear for me but that followed along eventually.

It's interesting how this theory resonates with me and speaks of the term "differentiation" which refers to how a person is able to separate thoughts and emotions from their family-of-origin rather than being controlled by anxiety (this is my wording)
This is taken from "Study Guide for MFT" by Dr. Linton Hutchinson for my studying for the exam:

A differentiated self is able to be guided by thoughts or emotion
* They recognize they need others (HOW MANY OF US WON'T ASK FOR HELP)
* But they depend less on the acceptance and approval of others
* Individuals who are differentiated:
Are able to stay rational, clear headed, and able to critically assess the situation without being
clouded by emotion even when faced with rejection, conflict, or criticism
These family members are confident in their own thinking, and they make their decisions thoughtfully
(not because they are giving in to relationship pressures)
They can either support another family member's point of view without becoming wishy-washy or reject
another's viewpoint without becoming hostile (BOUNDARIES)

It goes on to say for this model - I found this interesting and I've thought about this a lot with working with families.
* It describes the primary way parents transmit their emotional problems to a child
* For example: 1. The child that receives projection will have trouble differentiating
2. This will, in turn, effect his interactions with his own spouse and/or children
* The parent focuses on a child out of fear that something is wrong with the child
* The parent interprets the child's behavior as confirming the fear
* The parent treats the child as if something is really wrong with the child

A lot of times parents "self-propheci" their children into their fears. The phrase that comes to mind for me are mothers who tell their daughters "you're going to get fat if you eat that" OR paranoia over a child's potential to drink alcohol (so instead of educating them you just assume they are doing it out of fear).

Just some interesting thoughts - you couldn't grow up not being affected by your family's level of anxiety, fear or differentiation but as an adult you have choices and can be aware of how you react.
Different models and worldviews have different perspectives so of course this is just one. But one that I do see some validity in for sure.

MONOGRAM Canvas

It takes about 30-40 minutes to complete.
Materials Needed:
•4”x 4” blank canvas
•2 - 4″x 6″ pieces of decorative paper
•Modge Podge - Matte OR some other adhesive glue
•Foam Brush
•Scissors or Paper Cutter
•Embellishments [butterflies, letters, magazine clippings]
Step One: Gather all your supplies in one spot.

Step Two: Arrange the decorate papers in a design you like. Tear the long edge of the patterned paper towards you.


Step Three: Paint the canvas part you will cover with Modge Podge. Place the plainest paper on the canvas first then glue on the patterned paper after you tear the edge. Smooth out air bubbles and edges with your fingers carefully (this can get a bit messy). Be careful not to peel off the paper by rubbing the bubbles out too hard.



Step Four: Glue down any curled up edges and place Modge Podge on top the paper where you will place your letters and magazine clippings. Put ‘em on! (Wait to place any felt letters on!)


Step Five: Directly apply Modge Podge glue or adhesive to the back of the felt letter (if you have one) and place where you would like it. Press down and let dry. Place on any other embellishments & hang up! IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT – MAKE IT YOUR OWN!

Allow Yourself Today - Activity

TODAY update your closest friend(s) on how you are doing -- give a "real" update - allow yourself to be open.

My "real" update for today is - figuring out my own schedule. Do I work on client letters, reconnecting with those I have not heard from......or do I study for my exam? OR do I update my to-do lists...work on basketball girls' monogram project...?

Decisions, choices and plans - always moving, always changing.

The Art of Feeding a Toddler

Feeding A Toddler: Tips for healthy eating at Pampers.com

Right now we are going through a time of fun, frustration and as I read more and more normal transitions with Ian as he grows and explores and figures out all of this food stuff. Sometimes it drives us crazy!! This was a good article plus I got some menus and hopefully this will help us with meals times. Otherwise they end up being wars even if I stay as patient as possible. Stomping, screaming, crying.....grrrrrrr...
Feeding A Toddler: Tips for healthy eating at Pampers.com

Celebrating Mum

Just for the fun of this - I found this photo on Margaret's blog and loved it. Though I'm not British I do have an alter-ego who is and she wishes her Mum a wonderful day!

A Week in the Life

Someday I will do the project "A Week in the Life" that Ali Edwards talks about and that Iara (love that name by the way did). I love hers! Go to here.

Gluttony & Cookies

So I am a sucker for sweets and for chocolate and for sugar. I just gorged on a number of cookies and I realize continually how thankful I am that God helps to remind me that gluttony is a sin and that I need to turn from it. Thank you for stomach-aches! Yes I know it sounds weird but I am thankful for that consequence so I won't do it again.

I realized also that when I was running in the mornings last week that my decisions about food and my body-image were much more positive and really made a difference in how I interacted with my own world. There was a shift that occurred. I want to write about that because it really meant something to me. I was surprised by it, I had more energy and was much more purposeful with how I dealt with life - especially Mark and Ian. I was calmer, more self-confident and felt like I accomplished something.
Then.....I got sick, ran early Saturday and could not Sunday or Monday...got worse Tuesday and now it is Wednesday. So tomorrow I AM RUNNING! We humans really do put ourselves in predicaments when we allow ourselves to make bad decision after bad decision.
There is a commercial out now that depicts eating a cereal bar to start out your day will lead to better choices because you feel better about yourself. I am convinced of this however I often do not take the time to begin with the healthy choices so then it's easier to give in and give up. All to say - I messed up and now need to move on...

The Sweetest Sound...

One of the Sweetest Sound possibly to be heard is our little man at bedtime. We put him down about 8-8:30 every single night and it never fails. For at least 30-45 minutes he sits in his crib with his blanket, his green round pillow and his white bunny and just talks...and talks...and laughs and sings. He says his vowels like he knows what he is talking about and Mark and I just sit in our living room listening to him and relaxing. It truly is the sweetest sound...especially when he laughs and you can tell that then he puts his face into his blanket or bunny and just yyyyuuuuuummmmmmmms sounds in it.
It's the sound of innocence and purity. Just pure joy coming from a little creature of God.

Extraordinary or Ordinary Couple

If your marriage was going to be made into a movie and one day it will belong to your kids or family in the future, do you want it to read “Extraordinary” or “Just OK: They kind of Survived”…”Tragedy”…. “Divorce”…What would you want for it to read?
What will make you different? How will you make it?


What is your vision for your marriage?


For Mark & I - our movie title would be: "Extraordinary: a Journey of the Quirkie and Committed OR In It to Win It OR A Journey of Grace

Mark put "Striving for better than Ordinary"...

Flying Pig Half Marathon 2010

I continually find it interesting that every single race I run (6 half marathons later & 3 marathons) that each race is truly unique in its own right. I've done the Half twice now in Cinci and the full once and I LOVE the course, even when I feel like my lungs are going to explode up the hill on mile 6 and around Eden Park. And though I'm out of shape moreso than I ever have been for a race, I still got a 2:13 which is ok. 2:03 is my PR and I knew I was not going to hit that at all.

I had to do a 2:00:1:00 (run/walk) all the way up the hills because my legs weren't as prepared this year as in year's past but the downhill....woah that still felt great and I know I can fly by people every time...I just have to know that I will be humbled again when it comes to a flat or a hill where those same people I passed will somewhat creep up on me.

This year the change was....RAIN....RAIN....RAIN but it was warm rain and I was prepared. It kept me from having blisters and really cooled off everyone. We were all in the same boat. It began to feel good to me. Another difference the start is so packed but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. I really do not like corral starts - they drive me crazy...get me over that start line in 5-15 minutes but not 30-60 minutes. I'm ok with it, and I inevitably always hear interesting conversations even if it might be complaining...and inevitably there will be walkers right at the start....sometimes 3 across - sometimes 5. PLEASE DO NOT EVER START BY WALKING UNLESS YOU ARE IN THE VERY BACK - IT IS ANNOYING!
Other differences: Our pit-crew (our parents) weren't with us this year as they usually are so that was different. We stayed in a Quality Inn that felt like we were in a horror movie as we walked through the halls and thought two dead children were going to pop out at any time (reference to a film I will never see), but the room was ok and nice.

Alas, some similarities - I still am so anxious about the morning parking situation and walking to the start. Since we were late to one 10k about 3 years ago in Louisville (really, really late) I just freak out - poor Mark but he does a little bit too. We always seem to have a spat before a race and it always turns out ok but it's intense. BEWARE IF YOU EVER COME WITH US - LOL.

But it still felt great to be there, to feel alive and feel your body unlike any other time...to know that your body is being cleaned out and that you just go. So many different body types that God made and wow.....I guess my hips aren't as big as I think compared to other women but geesh some of them kick my butt with speed. Some fighting cancer, some eating disorders, some to fight depression, and others just doing it to do it and mark it off a bucket list. I think my list keeps getting checked off...I guess I need to sky-dive next and not run another race.

The Expo was run and the meal after the race - YUMMY - Red Lobster with Whitney and Paula Quinn Ruff. Man that was great! and Diet Pepsi!!!! I love that meal - calories really don't count. So again...I miss the races and the city but I'm glad to be where we are and hope to do more but admit, would still like to do a triathlon - the stars just have to align just right and Ian will need to be a little bigger I think. And Mark did ggggrreeeaaatttt!! 1:54 time.

Until next time!

All-Together

There are days when I feel altogether or at least mornings like this one where I did a weight training class and then ran 2 miles. (Still preparing for the mini-marathon this weekend). And before I shower I just sit and realize, wow I just got one big hurdle out of the way. :)

Today holds many possibilities between calling potential clients, former clients and future premarital couples to attend our premarital couple connection group. I'm writing the curriculum and am excited to build it up with the message that we are here to prevent divorce even before a marriage happens.

So today I'm "all-together" and tomorrow might be a different story but today is nice.

Space Conserving Seating

Space-Conserving Seating
Most apartment living rooms have space for a sofa, coffee table, and maybe a chair -- definitely not enough seating for hosting a group of friends. Solve the problem with fabric-covered cushions that make sitting on the floor not a big deal. When they're not needed, the cushions can be stacked and stowed.

-- Purchase foam cushions of the thickness and size you need.

-- Search remnant piles and discount stores for pretty fabric that matches your decor.

-- Wrap the fabric around the cushion and hot glue in place.

19 Ideas to Steal for Your Apartment: Ideas for Apartments, Condos, and Rentals

It's Been Awhile...

It's Been Awhile since I last posted..

Ian now is learning to say please or "peas" and his thank you's "tank-cuu's" are getting much better and more frequent. This morning Mark did a great thing as I got Ian up to change him and Ian immediately got mad or sad or maybe he was even scared at laying down but Mark came in and just calmed him down so I could change him and it made a world of difference! The morning went much smoother and he was his happy, go-lucky self just talking away and "what's that!"...

He came into the restroom as I was getting ready and just opened his mouth (he was ready for his teeth to be brushed). Sometimes he is a handfull when he simply plays by himself he is so fun to watch. I wonder what God thinks of us as we play by ourselves?

I finally called the tree-trimming place (it's only taken me two weeks to call to get an estimate) and they are going try to come out next week. :S Should have called them earlier - oh well. Alas, today was a 5 mile run - love my downhill start and later on it felt more comfortable but it takes me a long time to even get out to do it. :S

Guest Post : Storytelling Frames by Elizabeth Kartchner

Guest Post : Storytelling Frames by Elizabeth Kartchner

Posted using ShareThis

Adult Personalities

Studying for a licensure exam - may put tidbits like these up from time to time to consider: GESTALT - * Perls likens the unfolding of adult personality to the peeling of an onion: 1. Phony layer - stereotypical and inauthentic 2. Phobic layer - fears keep clients from seeing themselves 3. Impasse layer - giving up power 4. Implosive layer - fully experiencing deadness 5. Explosive layer - letting go of phony roles

Turning Point

There are times in life when you just know that you are beginning another chapter of your life. I had this realization this past week as I began to see my professional self becoming more awakened and determined to pursue some goals and being given opportunities to do so. Between hospital social work, home-care social work and marriage & family therapy at CCJ my world is opening up a little bit more and I'm allowing it to do so.

As I study for my licensure exam I'm reviewing all kinds of knowledge and WOW THERE IS A LOT! and it always has me looking at my own worldview and how I consider life and people. We have so much potential and so many times we kick ourselves. So many different ways of looking at the world, situations and our own thoughts. Then there is God's view and it is so revealing. I could go on and on about truth and Truth but I will not do that here.

So the Turning Point - I cleaned out drawers and cabinets and some areas in the basement full of memories from Grayson, KY (beginning of marriage and undergrad years), found high school newspaper clippings (realized I had settled at one point for living in another person's shadow), notes from friends (some I am still close to and some I have no idea what has happened to them), cards from occasions, a ton of personality tests I had taken (you'd think I'd know myself by now) and gobs of class notes that were meticulously written perfectionistically to learn. I was and still somewhat am a knowledge-seeker but back then I grabbed everything...especially Biblically or some sort of understanding of myself. A lot of searching.

I sit here now realizing that I am further along, utilizing more of my heart than before in considering life and situations, giving a lot more people the benefit of the doubt, seeing more colors (I loved black & white in middle school), not perfectionist in my endeavors (for goodness sake one of my anthems is "imperfection"). We're messy people and life is messy. Not everything fits in a nice box or goes on a straight line. Memories fall in and out - I got rid of A LOT of stuff and I think also took some things out of my brain as well which was nice.

Creating more room for new people, new development and a deepering relationship with Christ. It's not as much about me...my time isn't as much about me. It's a nice place, not a comfortable place but at least the predictable is unpredictable and I'm more ok with that.

My grad notes contained lots of great thinking nuggets and questions. AND I found how to interview the problem!!! YES! (for those unfamiliar with therapy - we can talk later about that)

This is a new phase in life. I've done the teenage deep thing (conversations with Sarah Beachy, Olga Panchenko and Kristi Brandon about God and then there were my own struggles), the hold onto all memories thing (notes from Megan King, memories with Jane Wamsley in middle school, Alena [List] Bauman and Robyn [Elliot] Myers), the college struggle and hold on to notes that got me through (thanks Beth Johnson, Karissa [Evans] Kimmel and Rachel [Szallai] Harvey), the bridal shower tid-bits and all the wedding items, the notes in class passed in grad school (hahaha Leslee, Randi, Karen and Rebecca), and there were some other things I went through - my Christian book obsession that are great books but I'm not going to read them. My obsession with marriage information at the beginning of our marriage (poor Mark he was ambushed with that stuff), found coasters I ambitiously made with Sherrill Rommel in Louisville that awakened my creative juices & sent me on a rampage to stock up on crafts, and race numbers from all of our races (most I can't remember now - no wait I can remember), and pictures I didn't know we had of hanging out with friends (Aaron & Jen Johnson, Mandy Gorman, and my extended family as they were getting to know Mark). Yep a lot has happened.

Searching, Undergrad, real world job, Grad school, pretend world, Church world, God world, Jasper, Baby World and now...family world with professional pursuits. I'm finally getting there and I know this phase will have many stories of its own.
.

Great Quotes

God made you as you are in order to use you as He planned. ~J.C. Macaulay

Mountain tops are for views & inspiration but fruit is grown in the valleys.

Clutter Excuses

If you haven't determined yet I enjoy reading Christine Kane's insights I get weekly in my email inbox. If you're a clutter-clinger, be kind to yourself. Begin with an awareness of your thoughts and excuses. For starters, read over this list to see if you can find YOUR excuse!

Clutter Excuse #1: "I'd be a bad mean horrible person if I…"
Guilt is heavy gooey energy that convinces us we're bad people if we let go of heirlooms, knick-knacks, unwanted clothing, or unwanted gifts.

These items clutter up our lives and keep us in a comfortable – but draining – place. And conveniently, we never have to decide what we actually do want in our environment. We become environmental victims. Often, that spreads out into other parts of our lives too!

Clutter Excuse #2 - "I spent so much on it!"
Do you punish yourself for having made a bad choice by keeping the item around? Or convince yourself that you're going to get your money's worth – even if it drains the heck out of you?

You won't. And it will. We've all done stupid things. And we've all had to let them go. Now it's your turn.

Clutter Excuse #3 - "I might need this someday."
I often wonder how many idle telephone cords exist in the world. Way in the back of old desk drawers. Stuffed on closet shelves. They can't be gotten rid of. Why?

Because we might need them some day.
Evidently, some day - in spite of technological progress - you're going to need that particular grey phone cord that came in the box with a phone you bought in 1989.

Throw it out. Now. Same thing goes for: The broken fax machine, switch plates from your first house, and every glass flower vase that came with deliveries.

Clutter Excuse #4 - "I might do this someday."
I know. I know. Someday you'll take those broken pieces of china you've collected and create a beautiful mosaic birdbath. And you'll go through those stacks of magazines and make that collage for your sister's 30th birthday party. (She's 51 now.)
Now – I don't mean to deny you your plans and dreams. However, I urge you to consider experiencing the infinite relief that appears when you let old project ideas go. Call your sister and tell her the collage ain't gonna happen. Buy a mosaic birdbath from an artist who makes her living from creating such treasures.
And then, make space for what you want to do. Don't fill your space with what you should do.

Clutter Excuse #5 - "I gotta look good to my guests."
CD's. Books. DVD's. Are these items treasured? Or are they simply a prop so your guests will be impressed by your intelligence and diverse tastes?
Remember this: we are motivated by two things: Fear or Love. Which of these keeps you clinging to items because of appearances?

Clutter Excuse #6 - "I Don't Know Where It Goes."
When items don't have a home, it's harder to determine whether or not they are clutter. Some things may seem like clutter - like the cute card that your daughter made that floats around from drawer to drawer - but they're not clutter.
They're homeless.
Once you start defining spaces for items, then it's easier to see when something doesn't fit anywhere and should just get tossed.

Clutter Excuse #7 - "My thoughts don't have any power. Do they?"
Everything has energy. The thoughts you have about the things in your home CREATE energy. If you are surrounded by stuff you keep out of guilt, then your environment holds guilt. If you hang on to stuff given to you by your ex, and you still feel bitter – then there is bitterness in your home.

Get it? It's either fueling you, or draining you. Some things might be neutral, of course. But if anything triggers you, then that is your barometer. Let it go.

Clutter Excuse #8 - "But I never wore it!"
See Clutter Excuse #2.

Clutter Excuse #9 - "There's too much stuff!"
Overwhelm can stop us in our tracks. If this article makes you aware that there are lots of items in your life you don't like, then go slow. Schedule small chunks of time each day. It takes time to be clutter-free! But the newfound clarity and lightness are worth it!

WE ARE INFLUENCED

WE ARE INFLUENCED: here are some interesting insights from a couple of reviews of great books.
“From Mary Pfiffer’s Book – Reviving Ophelia”,
Girls struggle with mixed messages:
Be beautiful, but beauty is only skin deep.
Be sexy, but not sexual.
Be honest, but don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
Be independent, but be nice.
Be smart, but not so smart that you threaten boys.
Girls have long been evaluated on the basis of appearance and caught in myriad double binds; achieve, but not too much; be polite, but be yourself; be feminine and adult; be aware of our cultural heritage, but don’t comment on sexism.”
~~~
“From Jackson Katz’s summary of ‘Tough Guise’, The myth of the real man is linked intimately with the phenomenon of the tough guise wherein boys and men learn to show the world only those parts of themselves that the dominant culture has defined as manly. Even at a remarkable young age, boys are likely to be well-versed in the rules of the macho game. Males absorb early on and from everywhere that not only is there such a thing as a real man but also that there is a price to pay for not qualifying as one. For boys across racial, ethnic and socioeconomic lines, being a real man often means being tough and strong, fitting into the narrow box that defines ideal manhood.”

The Story of Today

I did well being an imperfectionist Friday - did some fun layouts at a craft get-together at church with some wonderful ladies. Just being our raw selves and enjoying creativity. I was so giddy I couldn't stand it!

So the Story of Today - each day has a story in and of itself. This morning Mark gave a message that was very down to the point of why we are here: For God/Jesus and For Others and how being a servant is more important then just serving. He sat on a ladder (on top) for most of it which made me very nervous though I trust him.

But the big Story of Today may be our basketball banquet. It's an event of memories, thank you's and reminiscing from the coaches (I'd love to talk but usually don't - just never have). And it sums up the season and the last time I'll really see the Seniors together with their team. It's bittersweet and of course I think of so many inspirational things I'd love to write down for these girls but inevitably don't get it done :S. I'd love to tell them why I came back...into the middle/end of the season, what God was doing with me now that I can look back..., how their lives and presence really do impact me..., what hopes I have for each one of them..., the significance that they have in others lives..., and just how precious they are to God. These young ladies are where I've been and although their families are different, where they grew up is slightly different, their personalities are all different and the groups of friends they hang out with are different, we have two things in common: basketball and being a woman in this world. I'd like to say we also have our relationship with Christ in common but I know that is not entirely true. Some are active spectators watching others grow in their faith while they focus more on the world and what the world says. Some go to services but don't really let it hit their heart and some are just blind to how their decisions and comments affect other people.

I'm not naive and although I try and usually do have a rosy view of them, I'd like to think that I can be that person that simply sees the most beautiful parts of them and I can encourage them in that. I don't need to see the bad, nor think about it: we're all human and fall short. I just hope that God has shown something to them through me and my own presence. Whether that be love, grace, encouragement, hope or recreating themselves to be who they desire to be. That is the Story of Today...

Falling Short 2

Wow when I fall short of the Glory of God, I fall short! not only for Him but also for myself, my family, friends and probably all the caterpillars as well.

Here is an article I just read about becoming an imperfectionist and how it can be so freeing...I see so much of myself in this!
Why Becoming an Imperfectionist Makes You Successful and Happy
by Christine Kane

"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly."
~ Julia Cameron

How much stuff do you think about doing?
How many things would you love to try but stop yourself because you don't know how to begin?
Do you avoid projects because of the pressure to do them well?

If so, feel free to join me and some of my most successful friends in our exclusive club of very special and talented people: We call ourselves the Imperfectionists!
What's an Imperfectionist?
• An Imperfectionist is often a recovering perfectionist.
• An Imperfectionist knows that getting something done is better than sitting back and waiting to do it perfectly.
• An Imperfectionist knows that being a Perfectionist is simply an excuse NOT to take action.
• An Imperfectionist congratulates herself for taking small steps.
• An Imperfectionist buys herself flowers when she accomplishes something - even if it's not quite up to her ego's high standards.
• An Imperfectionist knows that getting a scary thing done IS the reward. Not the kudos or adoration.

You Might Need to Become an Imperfectionist if…
• You tell yourself you need to get "just a little more information" before you'll try something.
• You have a case of the "Used-to-Be's." ("I used to be so good at this!" Or "I used to be so thin!" Or, "I used to write everyday and now look…")
• Your mantra to the world is: "I'm just so overwhelmed! There's too much to do! It's so hard to be me!"
• You call friends and co-workers to get sympathy for how hard it is to accomplish your goals and dreams. They often agree, citing how special you are because you have been given so much talent – and how it must be quite a burden.
• You spend more than one hour per day on Facebook, watching television, or not fully engaging in other addictive activities.
• At the end of every year, you wonder why you never seem to move any further towards your dreams.
• You are waiting for your POTENTIAL to finally kick in.

Why Becoming an Imperfectionist Makes You Successful and Happy
Being an Imperfectionist is an Intention.

When you become an Imperfectionist, you finally recognize your ego voice exactly for what it is: Your own personal Success Prevention Expert.
When you become an Imperfectionist, you finally realize how many Success Prevention Experts exist in the world.
When you become an Imperfectionist, you lower the bar – or better yet, remove it altogether. You can then create in the moment without any grade or standard. Ironically, this allows for such freedom and joy that you might end up doing a great job. (Or at least having a great time!)
When you become an Imperfectionist, you place your creative attention on the project or activity itself. You don't waste it on obsessing about the outcome. (This paradoxically leads to a higher chance of greatness, and a definite outcome of happiness!)
When you become an Imperfectionist, you get things done imperfectly. You then learn that you can tweak and fix and try again. This process makes you Unstoppable.
When you become an Imperfectionist, you finally understand that there are no mistakes. Just judgments.
Becoming an Imperfectionist doesn't mean you don't become a master of your craft or your passion - but that's not the starting goal.

How to Become an Imperfectionist
1 - Imperfectly pick one thing you keep telling yourself you want to do.
2 - If you read #1 and think, "I can't possibly pick just one! There's too many!" then do not proceed until you have picked just one.
3 - Get a timer, and set it to 55 minutes.
4 - Walk away from your computer right now and spend 55 minutes doing that very activity.
5 - Repeat #4 again tomorrow.
6 - Repeat #4 again every day after that until the item is complete.
7 - Celebrate the item's completion with chocolate, flowers, or a manicure.
8 - Go back to #1 and start over.

An Imperfect List of Things You Can Do Imperfectly
• Imperfect Writing
• Imperfect Meditation
• Imperfect Yoga
• Imperfect Romance
• Imperfect Hiking
• Imperfect Vacations
• Imperfect Scrapbooking
• Imperfect Cooking
• Imperfect Dinner Parties
• Imperfect Bowling
Add your own items to this list as needed. Find a way to let yourself experience them without judgment. And listen to this recovering perfectionist when she tells you that your success is guaranteed when you live by this principle!

Disclaimer: The preceding article should be ignored by the following people:

Brain surgeons.
Commercial airline pilots.
Skydivers.

falling short

Falling short and I don't mean height-wise...just disappointing myself after the lessons learned. Motivation is so fickle and unless I have those friends who keep my accountable I fall by the wayside again and again...

Why I am Motivated...

I gave a talk at a Healthy Habits meeting at our church tonight and found myself so full of things to say - some motivating as to why I am motivated to run or strive to be healthy or just to reflect on my own journey since I began running and have run 3 marathons, 5-6 mini-marathons, 2 10-milers, 2 10k's and can't count the 5k's.

However, as much fun as it was to recall my own journey and the success and failure I felt at times, injuries I endured, and mental toughness I developed, what I feel was not said...was the real reason that I am motivated now. God has brought me so far in the past 4 years here in Jasper after leaving Louisville. He's taught me again and again what it means to live a life for Him and to give up the "me" story. I fall often and with injury (literally and figuratively) but the lesson comes up again and again. This life is not about me. It's not about my running times or that I even ran. It's about me being obedient to what He calls me to do and to use the gifts that He has given to me in ways that maybe I wouldn't have imagined.

It's about being obedient and disciplined (I'm getting the obedient part more and more but the disciplined part is what I keep kicking and messing up on). If I am disciplined then He can use me to touch others, to motivate and encourage them and to be in the places where He wants me to be at the right times for the particular people. Too often I use the "me" story to not do what is right..."I'm too tired, I need to rest, I just can't today, I'm sore..., it's too much" or my best one "more sleep or focus on myself will make me more aware of life and let me think". What a bowl of bologna!! :)

It's when I'm able to be in God's will and His mindset that things actually happen, growth comes more easily and I am so much more flexible. Trust in God's promises not in your own feelings...

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

We're Sectional Champions! That is the high school girls' Varsity basketball team at Jasper. Friday night's game was so close that I think if I could have had a heart attack I would have but this team finds a way to win and I was so impressed with their focus and determination. Last night we played Southridge (one of our county schools) and it went well although I did not celebrate until the last minute when it was totally happening and it was great. It made me remember the feeling I had with my high school team senior year winning tournaments and being cheered on in our sectional against Northwood; as well as the championships during the summer leagues and then especially the National Championships in college.

I screamed so hard that I had to hold my head at one point otherwise it felt like it was going to fall off. Wonderful! Alas, so now we prepare for our Regional. :)

There is much more to say but I am tired. But I will mention that I ran twice this past week (3 miles) each and felt really great!! :)

A Procrastinator

I am a procrastinator -- some weeks are better than others but the message I keep hearing is less is more and that by focusing more on a few things I will end up accomplishing many things...

9 Simple Solutions for Procrastinatorsby Christine Kane
Irony: As I started to write this article, I thought, "I'll just go play one Sudoku game first." I caught myself in the act and marched to my laptop.

People who say that procrastination is about laziness are probably the same people who think that anorexia is about not eating enough. Procrastination isn't about laziness. It's about fear. It's about perfectionism. It's about overwhelm. We all experience it, and there are some tricks to help you get moving again.

Here are 9 ways to break the procrastination habit:
1 - When you get an idea, do some little thing to begin.When I read Stephen King's book On Writing, I noticed something. I noticed that when Stephen King gets an idea, he writes it. Immediately and imperfectly.

Most people get an idea. Then they sit there. They wonder if it's a good idea. Then, they wonder if it's a good idea some more. Got an idea? Begin it now!

2 - All hail small chunks of time!
Lots of us complain about having no time. My guess is that we all have lots of time. It just doesn't happen to be all at once.

Are you waiting for many hours of spare time to begin your idea, your project, or your taxes? Stop waiting! Learn to use the spare half hour that comes up here and there. (I gave myself 45 minutes to write this article just to take my own advice.)

3 - Agree to do it badly.
Set a goal to do it badly. Set a goal to show up. Let go of doing it ALL, or doing it WELL. Some of my coaching clients' biggest victories have a lot more to do with getting over perfectionism and fear, than they do about getting it all done perfectly.

4 - Commit aloud.
Call a friend and say something like this: "I'm going to spend the next half hour working on my Law School Essay." Then go do it. Call the friend after the half hour and make her congratulate you. Repeat daily.

5 - Define quantities.
Nebulous goals make for nebulous results. "I'm gonna get my office organized" is a lot like saying, "We oughtta do something about Global Warming." Most procrastinators have a hard time defining quantities. We think everything needs to be done NOW.When are you going to do it? For how long? Which part of your office? The file cabinet? Or your desk?

Define the goal and acknowledge its completion.

6 - Install this System Upgrade into your Mental Hard Drive: Less is More. Have fewer goals. Have no more than three priorities for a week.
Why?
Because you're not lazy. You're just trying to do too much.
Find out what it feels like to accomplish one thing instead of not quite getting to everything. Wow - what a difference this makes!

7 - Do it first.
My first coach made me write songs first thing in the morning. He told me to schedule the 2-hour chunk as my first activity upon waking.
Why?
"Because you're telling the universe that this is your priority. And then the universe lines up everything to align with your priority." [For a Christian this might be having your quiet time with God.]
Action grounds your priorities. It makes them real. It also makes your day easier because you're not wasting energy thinking about this thing you're supposed to be doing.

8 - Avoid nose-bleed activities.
Email, voicemail, web stats - any activity that bleeds itself into your whole day becomes a non-activity. It becomes a nose-bleed.
When you do it all the time, you never complete it. You just let it slowly drain the very life force from you. Define times for these activities. Then, turn off your email, your cell phone, your web stats, until that time comes.

9 - Don't ask how you "feel" about doing the activity. Have you ever committed to getting fit? And then when the alarm goes off, you lie in bed thinking, "Do I really feel like going to the gym?" (Like you even have to ask!)
Change this pattern. Make your decision the night before. Commit to getting up and going right to the gym, the computer, the blank canvas. Don't have coffee and sigh and think, "I'll probably feel more like it at lunch time." You won't! If it's a priority, don't waste time asking yourself how you feel about doing it. Feelings are an easy out.
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So in this case, what do I desire to prioritize:
* fitness & health
* writing or crafting (at some point)
* preparation for LMFT exam {licensure exam}

Monday, Monday

Maybe it is just a Monday. Monday is a hard day for me...maybe because it is the day with the least structure for me. I'm overwhelmed with choices and on any other day I get excited to think about all I could accomplish or do if I only had that Monday back (including rest). Alas, only one day out of the week can be Monday and it is hard. As much as I don't want to admit it - I do better in routine...though it drives me crazy since I'm such a floater. I love spontaneity and freedom (hmmmm I sound like a toddler)...but I know I need routine. I'm unable to have the gumption to really strive on a Monday.

I think I need to chart my days and see the patterns that occur because I'm sure that they are there and definitely need to be changed. There were great things about today and proactive things; such as, Ian learned how to blow kisses at Ambra's and then demonstrated with me on the way home. :) Unfortunately he may have a sinus infection or is getting pink eye :S. The basketball sectional meal was very nice and enjoyable and Ian had a good day all in all; plus, a group was cancelled due to potential weather (which mind you has not come yet). I hate cancelling something but it seemed like the best alternative since my leaders were either sick or apprehensive about the weather.

I'm trying to think of things to look forward to but it is harder to do so...seeing that every month we're just getting by and putting anything away for a vacation is really non-existent though I feel blessed that I was able to do the "what not to wear" thing. I look forward to Ian growing (he can reach the bar table now!!), de-cluttering the house (a never-ending endeavor), mainly spending time with friends and catching up and see my lady wildcats win sectional and play at regionals in our home gym.

It's amazing how someone with so much faith in God, and faith in other people can have such a lack of faith in herself and in her very own abilities. I guess that keeps me humble but it also depresses me at times. Sometimes it is frustrating just to think about all that is in my head and I really shouldn't...it just confuses me. Thank you that Monday is almost over...and I can start over again on Tuesday. Hello Tuesday.

Creating a New Story about Myself

There is so much to write about, so much to discover, be curious about and learn and so much to simply get through each day in this life. I was reminded while at CCJ (www.ccjasper.com) today about asking myself good questions - those hard questions that at times are difficult to answer. "Whose applause are you living for?" "What are you disappointed with?" "What do you worry about?" Ultimately if we're not focused on God - we make our own idols.

Sometimes I'm very creative and think about life out of the box. It is much more than cause and effect, or consequence and blessing. Our words mean something...what we do means something...
I'm thinking more along the lines of how each of our actions affects someone else whether we realize it or not. We might inspire or deter someone to make a decision simply by our own growth. Example: if I begin growing and working to become more healthy in my daily life inevitably this will also move onto someone else and they might think differently. A friend once told me - give me any choice for a place to eat and that is fine but I will always choose the healthy one. Wow - really? Every time she will choose the healthy one? That was powerful to me because it was a definite. So I started thinking - how would my life change if I had a definite like that or if I practice a definite choice like that? Slowly I've begun to and it has made a difference.
Each time I see a new client and what they are going through it effects me in some way or comes back in my mind later on. I constantly have to work on boundaries because it is so easy to be sucked into another person's life and their worries, troubles and stories. I have to reaffirm and tell myself who I am, who I desire to be and where I'm going just because I'm human.

As you can tell I just feel like writing and writing and writing. Sorting through my thoughts, knowing there is some simplicity in there somewhere.
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Automatic writing. I sometimes use this when I have a lot on my mind. I find a lot of release in simply writing all the thoughts, memories, emotions down. To write without considering grammar or spelling, using any font that speaks to me in the moment – perhaps a script font. I then incorporate the writing into my page, not as journaling per se, but as a decorative element - part of the background. The writing doesn’t have to eligible, only you need to know what you wrote and why. The writing process itself is supposed to be the therapy part, not necessarily being able to read it again at a later point.

Initial Thoughts on "What Not to Wear" Day

Today was the big day I was sort of dreading but excited about...my friend was going with me to Louisville to pick out and try on a new wardrobe (at least the start of one for me).
We kind of had a time-crunch since I had to meet with some other people while there but in the mean time - she picked out all the clothes (off the clearance racks at KOHL'S) while I stared into space and walked the little cart around - all-the-while piling on more and more clothes (it almost tipped over at one point). Occasionally I would look up and say "woah, no way" but otherwise I was willing to try most everything. I kept thinking Stacy or Clinton from "What Not to Wear" on TLC was about to jump out of the racks at me when I did venture off and look at what I thought were "cool" clothes or potentials.

Luckily I did somewhat know my size from previous shopping trips though I never would have picked out even 1/2 or a 1/3 of what she picked out! Purples, greens to name a few. But as I tried on each top and different pair of pants - it was actually fun and a little exciting. This was a first for me.

After two and half hours we exited the store with I think...4 dress pants, and maybe 6 tops? (I'll have to recheck) plus like $150 in savings and then after my meeting ended up at Sears to take home 3 pairs of shoes that automatically fit!! Only one pair of heals mind you and they weren't too bad.

So all in all with discounts, clearance, a gift card and perseverance I now might look like what I know (does that make sense?) -- a professional and with some sort of style. :) Next comes some jewelry which is a hard one for me. I don't know if I can spend some money on "charms" or necklaces.

After that, the hair cut (possible highlights [the first in my life]) and later a more toned body. So it's a start - I'll post a couple of pictures of the venture.

How to Create a Powerful Morning Ritual

It is said that your habits create your destiny. I'd add that your habits also create your confidence, courage and even your creativity! In other words, your daily choices, routines, and seemingly insignificant moments make all the difference in your results.

One of the best ways to generate great results is to create a morning ritual. A powerful morning ritual sets the tone for your entire day - and your entire year! A ritual is personal. A ritual is creative. (Not reactive!) A ritual is what gets YOU on track to create your best day. (And subsequently, your best life!) It can be as simple as a 15-minute routine, or as intense as long-distance running. The important thing is that it becomes a HABIT.

My morning ritual combines a mixture of physical, mental and heart-centered activities to engage each of these human power centers! Here are some ideas to help you create your own powerful morning ritual.

Hydrate First
Many Eastern health practitioners recommend chugging down at least a half-liter of filtered room-temperature water first thing. (Yes, before your coffee!)
Upon waking, your body has spent hours without hydration. Drinking pure water at this time triggers a series of physiological functions that keep your body super healthy. Some report that this one practice can actually heal many diseases. (I'm not a scientist – but I can attest to the amazing results!)

Get Moving
Exercise is called "The Number One Form of Preventive Medicine." It is also a prescription for happiness and a cure for depression! Getting exercise first thing sets your day off right. You can do a simple stretching routine, yoga or an all-out heart-pounding hour at the gym. Pick something do-able and do it.

Meditate [Prayer]
Many people don't meditate because they find it intimidating. I say, start with just 5 minutes. Meditation [prayer] connects you to [God], and to the deep silence that surpasses any drama that might be happening in the world of your personality. Don't worry about doing it right. Just allow yourself the time to BE.

Set Intention
It's true! Your intention is a powerful force to engage. Remembering your intention puts you back on track. You become focused again. Reflect for a moment on your Word of the Year. Read a goal you've written down for yourself. Remind yourself of a financial dream. You don't have to know the HOW. You just need to set the intention so your inner GPS can stay on target!

Be Grateful
Before I get out of bed, I silently create a morning gratitude list. When I begin my day remembering my "gratitudes," (instead of my "anxieties") my heart fills with extreme joy and deep awareness. I then bring that energy into everything I do - and to everyone with whom I connect.

Eat Creative
Your choice of breakfast foods can set up your success with other meals as well. Start your day off in the healthiest way possible for you - and make it a ritual, not a chore.

Be Prepared: Create a Not-to-Do List
Everyone needs a "Not To Do" morning list. Suggestions here include anything that brings up a "reactive" state: Turning on the local news. Checking email. Answering texts. Answering the phone. Let these things wait until AFTER your ritual has been completed!

Your Assignment:
After reading this article, don't just think, "Wow. Those are some good ideas. I should try one or two." Instead, deliberately create your morning ritual now. Take about 20 minutes to think about and write down what your ritual will be each morning. Start simple at first. Choose one or two items from this menu. Or come up with your own. Write out your Ritual in detail. Begin first thing tomorrow morning, and let your habits create YOUR destiny starting now!
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Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with more than 11,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FREE subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.
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Just thinking about what to change in my morning routine to make it more meaningful and something that I will stick with that will bless myself and others instead of sleeping!!
For me tomorrow morning will be: Hydrate First & Get Moving
Then I will implement two more into Saturday and will see what happens.

Allowing Myself to...

* be ok with not being as creative
* experiment and try to cook things that are already in our kitchen
* give grace to myself
* try to allow myself to be ok with where I am
* be as productive as possible
* listen to Ian say "hot" "go" and "uh-oh" all day long
* let go of having to take pictures of Ian (can't find the camera anyway)
* say no to things I can't do or do not want to do
2/1/10
* be diligent and connect with others (even if I don't know them well)
* consider working out for only 30 minutes a day (thanks Tammy Love) and not being so extreme or "all or nothing" thinking
* figure out and realize that I feel so much better about myself when I give to others

Sick Ian and Motherhood, Running

I did not get to do "What Not to Wear" today shopping trip due to Ian's sickness. It wasn't the most fun day I've ever had and at times it really wore on me but in the end my little guy went to bed happy with a full belly from cereal and a little bit of milk. Whitney was nice enough to come over mid-day to entertain him and then have him at his first boy's JV basketball game while I went grocery shopping at Walmart. It never ceases to amaze me how friends are so crucial to my own livelihood and sanity! :)

I have found that when Mark is gone for a trip, I enjoy the quiet in the house so much more at night and find it hard to go to bed. It's almost freeing to know that I can do what I'd like within reason. We usually miss one another after a couple days but find it nice to be apart during those first two days.

I'm watching a Triathlon in Britain and just wishing that I felt the motivation and urge to run. I'm trying to summon the memories of each marathon and the feelings that I had during the runs. I think it is just starting that is the hardest for me to do right now. If/when I start and am two weeks into training then I will be ok - but until then I just beat myself up. We've paid to go to the Pig (Cincinnati) but with Ian it's just not as easy. Oh well - this is a boring post but at least I'm caught up with the experience of being with Ian all day, thinking about fixing more food, and finding new creative ways to stay sane. :)

What Not to Wear

I would most definitely be a candidate for the Cable show "What Not to Wear" since my staple clothes are jeans, t-shirts and sweatshirts. It is rare to see me "dressed up" and my dressing up includes nice pants and a nice shirt. So I enlisted my friend Shannan to help me out and one night she and I (mostly she) emptied out half of my closet. There was a huge pile on my bed and I was able to take some to My Best Friend's Closet to get some cash but the majority of the pile was not accepted respectfully (those clothes are not in style at all).

So what I need: clothes that actually fit my body type
* nice slacks * in-style tops * long-sleeve nice tops
* cool jewelry * shoes with actual heels
* some slimming under-layers * did I mention shoes (I HATE shoe-shopping)

Shoe cost waaayyy too much and if they hurt my feet then there is no reason I should be wearing them. Shannan says "style is pain" - now that is dramatic so we'll see.

* shapely sweaters * skirts * hey a new hair-cut would go nicely with it as well!

Now I just have to figure out what I can squeeze out of our budget in order to get some of these items and begin a rebuilding of a wardrobe for professional attire, causal wear, and then at some point "appropriate" sport wear.

Today

Ian had a 102 fever...he screamed for half of the evening and wouldn't let me put him down but eventually he was more ok and after watching the cars go by in front of our house for 45 minute (literally) he calmed down and let me feed him and get him some liquids then he was ok... played a little and now he's in bed....and I'm listening to the varsity game on the radio.

Excerpt from Steady Days by Jamie C. Martin

Marilyn Paul, a successful management consultant, confronts the issue of organization in her book, It’s Hard to Make a Difference When You Can’t Find Your Keys. She states, “Organization is deeper and more powerful than I once thought. It’s not only about freeing ourselves from clutter or putting ‘everything in its place.’ It’s about expanding our sense of personal efficacy. It’s also about discovering courage and dignity, and living our true life purpose.”

It’s easy to think of surface-level problems and results when discussing organization. But the roots go much deeper. As Marilyn Paul describes, piles of papers and other types of disorganization drain us mentally and emotionally. This leaves less of us fully available to our children [and ourselves]. Maintaining this panoramic view of organization will help us find the energy to take necessary steps toward change.
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I struggle with this - organization, disorganization, stress

Thoughts on Obedience, Sleep, Blessings

Realizing how a day full of therapy appointments really drains me and excites me all at the same time. People coming to change, to enact change, to be apart of change and to embrace change. That is a pretty tall order. Such amazing people I see who really question themselves and the people around them.

I'm realizing as I question myself that sleep is an idol to me. I go to it (or at least I desire it) for my comfort and for my rest and for my "start-over" for my day if it didn't start out well. God's expressed to me that if I obey Him (which is all He asks) that then He will turn my struggle into victory and will show me what I need to do in order to be in line with His will. What an exciting thought but as we all know as humans I don't want to change. I want to stay the same doing the insane thing of thinking that my understanding and thinking are somehow working for me (which they are not).

I wonder how other people work through their idols and give them up and move on from them into obedience. I've done it before and have been so blessed by it. I am working on my "break a habit in 21 days" and since I started it I do feel better in that respect and I do believe that I have been blessed. I've felt called to go back into helping out with basketball with the girls and so there is another purpose for my evenings or late afternoons. I cherish my time with Ian and with Mark a little bit more and I feel a little bit more like myself. I was offered another PRN job for in-home social work, accepted it, and was trained in it. Things are looking up but I get down waaaay too easily thinking my life is different from everyone else's which it is not. Working in isolation is not a good thing nor a healthy thing and neither is existing in isolation. We must all come together.

Nugget for 2010

Surround yourself with people who inspire you.

You know how important it is to cultivate a mindset of promise and can-do spirit -- and how attractive that is to new opportunities. After all, what we think and say has everything to do with what turns up and how things turn out.

A key action step is to actively cultivate this mindset by choosing the circle of people around you. You'll be encouraged and inspired by those who have confidence in the future, and have made leaps of faith themselves. This is especially true for those who follow God and pursue Him.

(This is why I do the work I do...and have the intimate friends I have. It's so I can be connected to people who are investing themselves in the future.)

So seek out those who have faith in the future ... those who believe in an expansive and confident view. And figure out how you can be in their company. Just a dose, here and there, can nourish you.

change...

Last night a change occurred...will write later.

Boundaries

We all need them and it is astounding the amount of clients I see that have issues with saying yes or no to particular people in their life just to keep them happy or not wanting to ruffle their features.

Part of the Preface from the upcoming Boundaries Care Group that will be done at our church includes:
"Many people who want to have healthy lives are unsure about when it is appropriate to say no and set limits. They want to have good relationships and grow spiritually, but they often find it difficult to take ownership of their choices, freedom, and responsibilities. In a word, they do not have good boundaries." When confronted about their lack of boundaries, these people raise important questions:
*Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
*What if my boundaries upset or hurt someone?
*What can I say to someone who wants my time, love, energy or money?
*Whey do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
*Are boundaries selfish?
*Why is it difficult for me to hear no from people?

Our goal is to help people use healthy boundaries appropriately to achieve the relationships and purposes that God intends for you. We want to help people see how boundaries operate in relationhips, in tasks and in your spiritual life.

Boundaries result in Freedom --- I'm still workin' it for me

Today was...

relaxing, productive, fun, good for my soul, and enjoyable
laundry, clean-up, de-cluttering, Ian saying "baby" finally in my presence, Ian's smile, spending time with a friend and having a great meeting at CCJ

Reading about Mourning and Moving On from One in a Million - thinking about a friend while reading...a lot.

We Discovered...

We (Ian and Mommy) together discovered what it is like to sit in a chair that rotates around in a circle. Ian kept sitting in it and mommy kept twirling the chair. You could see his eyes thinking "this is making me feel weird". :)

Sick ALL Week

I didn't realize I hadn't written here this entire week but I have been sick and not really online much. God has been doing a lot with me and showed me several things this past week:

* when I read more and research more again about counseling & the therapeutic approaches I feel so much more competent in my profession (it is so true)
* God is bigger than me and He knows what people already need
* speaking with close friends really does help me out so much --- it's about feeling loved and appreciated
* as my facebook status at one point said: "living in a slower world and realizing that this life is more about people than productivity or even success (sickness does that to you)"
* my craft area and creativity needs to wait while I grow in my professional knowledge and intuition (I've slacked on that)
* it's about people, people, people and their stories
* no tastebuds = good portion control & easier to stop when full
* little boy learned to walk in circles around the basement pole and thought he was so amazing doing it!
* communicating with Mark is such a process & hard work -- it helps counseling couples and seeing where they mess up sometimes, it motivates me to work harder and to give Mark more grace when he doesn't "get" me

Allowing Myself to Go

This day I allowed myself to go to the girl's basketball vs. Gibson Southern. At least the JV - we had to get Ian home for bed and myself since I'm sick before the Varsity game really started. I was glad to see the JV play and to see the V girls in person with Ian. It was comforting.

Change Your Thoughts or a Habit in 21 Days

I'm taking the challenge to change a particular habit in my life in 21 days. I'm taking a calendar and marking things down and committing to this venture. I pray my thoughts will change toward this habit and subsequently towards how I view myself.

Expand Your Perspective - Journal Today Project

TodaysMama - Expand Your Perspectives

Posted using ShareThis

Today

So today I decided to be purposeful (allowed myself to be) since I actually had the energy to do so and realize how much more fun Ian is when I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere or do anything. He brought books to me even when I was making lunch and simply found new discoveries around each corner of the house. As per my "give" word for today (where I give something to someone or myself) I have not given anything to anyone yet today so it might be a surprise in the long run. This blog is just for me anyway.

Nuggets for 2010

* Look at things from many different perspectives; however, always choose one that is positive.
* Plan fun things in the future.
* Expect success.
* Take time to prepare yourself each and every day.
* Appreciate the beauty around you.
* Experience new places and new things.
* Give to people in need.
* Never let fear stop you.
* Never compare; appreciate each in its own way.
* Spend time sharing with friends and family.
And also, on a personal note...if all else fails, go shopping.

Allowing Myself to Be Inspired

"I was inspired this morning by my one-year old discovering his shadow in a sun-lit window. I wish I would have had a camera for that moment but I didn't. I'll just have to remember him twirling around and around trying to catch a glimpse at this thing following him."

Christmas Message: 2009

The phrase "A Baby Changes Everything" doesn't even begin to describe this past year for us.

Christmas Day 2008

It has been a continual beginning for us throughout the various infant stages and in our progression towards "normalcy" in our lives with work, church and our community involvement. 

Easter 2009 - April

Through Kara's postpartum depression various friends really stepped up to help out and we were able to be on the receiving end of love. It was humbling and a growing time. Each month Ian was learning new things of course and so were mommy & daddy. 

June 2009

Ian has changed the way we go about our daily schedules and has enriched the way we experience life - smiling and really enjoying the joys of life. God has shown us that each day is not our own. And though Ian is not the center of our universe (God is), he does tend to occasionally change our plans. 

September 2009

As for normal life, as much as you can call it that in the ministry...each day is different. Kara ran two mini-marathons last Spring getting her body back in shape and Mark trained and helped coach the high school cross country team this past Fall. It became apparent as Kara began to counsel again and work for the hospital along with beginning a new ministry endeavor for training care counselors in October that she was not going to be able to be involved with coaching the girl's basketball team this year. It was a sad revelation but God has brought more blessings with it.

December 2009

 Mark began a new group model for the church and launched that and is continuing to teach and preach. We are excited for this new year as Ian is fully walking and running and saying words "mom" "dad" "ball" "uh-oh" and various other sounds. He's a cup drinker and loves to clap! See a baby changes everything...we are growing as parents and people for sure. 

December 22nd 2009

Ian turned One December 22nd and is an official toddler. Boy, is this 2010 going to be a growing year of toddlerisms! 

Blessings, 
Mark, Kara & Ian Messmore + Tira & Trilly Messmore

5 Reasons I will Probably Tell my Kids that Santa is Not Real

As a parent I want to make sure they don't miss what Christmas is really about, namely the birth of Jesus Christ. So in addition to watching endless Elf reruns, Mark and I will make sure to read the Bible story and to try and teach our kids about generosity and developing a giving heart.

I'm thinking we will also tell our kids Santa is not real. I know, many people may be shocked that I could break the hearts of our kids over something so trivial. "Just let them have fun with it for a few years," you're thinking. Well, as they are little we'll probably take our time with it and before anyone flings tomatoes and calls Mark a Grinch (LOL) you can relax, because I've been told that many other people's kids don't believe them when they tell the kids Santa isn't real.

Here are 5 reasons why I tell the kids Santa is not real. ~Written by Brentin Balvin
1. I want them to know Jesus is the giver of gifts, not some jolly fat man.
2. I don't want them to develop legalistic hearts thinking they can ever 'earn' anything by their good works alone.
3. I want them to know Daddy and Mommy love them and delight in seeing their joy on Christmas - that is why they get presents.
4. I want them to be able to trust Daddy and Mommy's word and I should never use lies to manipulate the behavior of my children (i.e., eat your beans or Santa's not coming!).
5. I want them to know that Christmas is about celebrating Jesus birth and his coming to save the world, and it is not about trees/lights/cookies/reindeer with glowing noses (though I do like all of these).

Christmas Message: 2008

Dearest Family & Friends,
Merry Christmas 2008 & Happy New Year from the Messmore household! This has been a whirlwind of a year with many changes and we have no doubt that 2009 will hold even more surprise, transitions and changes. 
After taking a much-needed vacation to Las Vegas and hiking the Grand Canyon in mid-April and Kara running the Nashville Mini-Marathon with a friend right after, we found out on May 1st that we were pregnant. It was a bit of a shock that has developed into an exciting ride for both of us. Our little boy is due December 23rd. It has definitely been a life-changing year and that is without his little presence with us yet. Kara went ballistic with house projects after resigning from two of her three jobs late in the summer. She continued marriage and family counseling at the church through mid-November. 
Both of us have remained connected with our local athletic teams by volunteer coaching with basketball (Kara – 3rd season), cross-country (Mark) and timing with track (both of us). Mark found himself thoroughly enjoying the new running challenges with cross country, and is looking forward to running potentially two marathons this upcoming year. His times have sped up and he is excited to see how fast he might get with further speed work and training.

Kara was unable to run the first 5 months of pregnancy so she swam, and then once released she trained to run a 5k at her 7th month mark. She hopes to train up to running a mini-marathon mid-through the 2009 year and then a full marathon near the end of year. We both hope to stay as active as possible as we become new parents and begin the journey together. 
The church remains to grow (mid-600s) and Mark finds himself continually amazed at God’s new challenges in his job (www.ccjasper.com). He planned several major events throughout the year between Sunday night elective classes, a large marriage date-night, and our 24/7 small group get-togethers. Kara also found herself singing in the church band (from February to present) and has enjoyed the experience. She even got to be apart of the Christmas album that is accessible online (www.narrowpath.us).

We were pretty psyched to be able to attend another Ohio State football game this fall and no doubt Mark is eager to get our little guy into an OSU outfit! Stay tuned for pictures and the announcement of his arrival. We will be posting pictures and information on our Facebook accounts, which we will send emails out about (so if we have your email address then you will receive the info but if you do not then make sure to send us your email address so we can update you)!
Our kitties Tira & Trill say “HI” and are very cuddly so hopefully they will adjust to Baby Messmore soon enough.

God’s Blessings & Love, kmessmore@hotmail.com & markrmessmore@hotmail.com
Mark & Kara

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Simplify - My Word for 2008

Simplify - My Word for 2008

January 12, 2008 at 9:51pm

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This quote totally points at what I desire:
To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury; and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable; and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasion, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony.

William Henry Channing