Welcome to 2024 :: Cultivating Aliveness

 Welcome to 2024 ::  Cultivating Aliveness

2023 brought A LOT of growth for our family and various challenges (again a normal year for us): 

• Mark began his podcast "Mental Health and Ministry" and has interviewed several people. It has been life-giving for him and frankly he's really, really good at it. He discusses depression in ministry and how to support someone who is struggling. 

• Kara completed one year with Cincinnati Children's in June with pioneering the Moving Beyond Depression program working with postpartum mothers and mothers of 0-3 year olds with maternal depression. It has been exciting and exhausting and she did put herself to the side along the way. Her self-care has had good rhythms and not so good rhythms. In the end, she is ready for a recalibration of serious magnitude and to pursue vitality.

• Ian began 9th grade and began playing soccer last spring FOR THE FIRST TIME, ran Cross Country again and in his free time enjoys playing computer games, at one point playing chess, rapping songs and working out. He did start a McDonald's job in the summer and did really well, but he learned that working in fast-food is not where he wants to be, but it really helped him grow as a person. "People are mean mom!" "Yes, yes they can be," I agreed.

• Elijah began 5th grade, remains fascinated by dinosaurs, played soccer again and specifically Goalie position this past Fall, and enjoys playing Roblox, Fortnite and Nitro Typing in his free time.

• Katie is 8 years old now, still loves to cuddle in your face, bait Ivy into take her raw-hides so she can grab them back and continues to love car rides.

• Ivy is 3 and a half years old and plays like a puppy with zoomy fits and then long naps. She still sits like a princess and growls like a bear. She is remains submissive but her growl scares things away.

• We are very grateful for God’s continued faithfulness, peace and His humor. We have seen so much growth in both of our boys and in ourselves. We look forward to see how His hand works this year. Much Love to you! 

• The Messmores

Hello 2022 :: 2021 Reflection

Welcome to 2022 :: Short story, I was attacked by a dog 1/3/22 while running so cards went out late and this reflection is just now being done. 

2021 brought inspiration and various challenges (so a normal year for us): 

• Mark wrote a book “Simple Preaching Prep”, is due to release March 1st, 2022 on Amazon.

• Kara continues to write her non-fiction book “Hurt to Hope: The Way is Through, Not Out” (working title) and ran more in the Fall to build a base back.

• Ian began 7th grade and in his free time enjoys watching WWE, playing computer games and wrestling with his stuffed wrestling dummy so he doesn’t hurt his brother.

• Elijah began 3rd grade, remains fascinated by dinosaurs, digging for gem stones and fossils, and playing Roblox in his free time.

• Katie is 6 years old now, loves to cuddle in your face, bait Ivy into take her raw-hides so she can grab them back and continues to love car rides.

• Ivy is a year and half and has been with us for a year. She is still all puppy, sits like a princess and growls like bear. She is very submissive and pees upon meeting strangers.

• We are very grateful for God’s peace and His humor in these times. We look forward to see how His hand works this year. Much Love to you! 

• The Messmores

A story of Redemption rather than a story of Perfection.

In 2018-2019, I experienced major heartbreak and darkness. It was shocking. My family and I are still feeling the impact many months later. There has continued to be a ripple effect of new-normals that have been painful, alongside re-injuries that happen when dealing with relationships and human beings. The details may stay muted, but in time, everyone will know a fuller story.

I share this pain, not for sympathy, but because I want to offer a glimpse of how I've gone through the pain and disappointment. Life does not necessarily turn out how we would like it to be. When we do a 5 or 10 year plan, there is so much that is out of our control and variables we will never see. The plot twists, diagnoses, betrayals, side-conversations, broken friendships, misunderstandings, weight of the world and I could go on.

But as I am learning, I'd rather see a story of redemption rather than a story of perfection. I'd rather replace the habit of mindlessly consuming with the practice of creating. I'd rather contribute beauty to this world than give out bitterness.

The Courage to Let Go begins with the Willingness to Walk-Away
The Problem is Never the Things rather the Problem is our Attachment to Things

Transition :: Change, it's what's for Dinner

IT'S BEEN 8 WEEKS! –I transitioned to part-time about 8 weeks ago and it's been very good, HARD, yet very good. Any change in life is hard and full of uncertainties and I'm still navigating these uncertainties. But the even little-bit-more space in my head to create and think about doing something other than exercise, work, food, wash, homework, bed-time AND repeat has been very healthy. God has shown me weaknesses I've known that I have had but haven't had to exactly face yet and now He has me ready to face them. He has me ready to move forward and to trust and to BELIEVE that He is good and HE IS ABLE.  –It's no secret that I struggle with depression and this past year's burn-out moved me deceptively into a functional-yet-paralyzing depression; whereby, it was hard to concentrate, focus on one thing at a time, my thoughts raced, my anxiety over the littlest things was hightened and my overall sense of well-being was depleted. I LOVE what I get to do at the hospital (Perinatal ICU & Neonatal ICU Social Worker) and the sacred moments I encounter daily; however, I was no longer able to give of myself to my loved ones outside of work. I still believe that this work is what I am called to do BUT I know there is so much MORE He has in store for me. I know that painting is suppose to blossom into helping others and guiding them through hard times. I know that running and fitness in my life is to take on a life of its own to help others to move forward. I know that this life is NOT my own. –I am learning that what I am learning right now is preparing me for next steps and I need to share this. MY MESS IS MY MESSAGE. I struggle like everyone else does; yet I want to strive and overcome and trust and persevere. Darkness has a purpose in my life and His light is suppose to come out of it and not for my glory but for God's. I wish so many of my friends could understand this but they continue to chase meaningless things. I don't want to chase meaningless things. A LITTLE OF WHAT’S HAPPENING... –So many springtime colors around here!! Birds hatching and their mothers feeding them in their nests, in our yard! –Enjoying the sunshine - I don't ever want to take that for granted. –Beginning the process of dreaming about Redecorating and repurposing and re-falling-in-love with my home... –The boys are growing, growing, growing. My patience has increased with not being so rushed all the time. And I'm slower to anger (check with me tomorrow to see if this still stands *wink*). –Being able to do more things so that Mark doesn't have to carry almost the entire load like he was before. Watching him begin to pursue some new things for himself –Pursuing self-development again and recalibrating goals –ABOUT TO JUMP OFF THE ADOPTION CLIFF!!!! Ah our electronic Profile is ready, we have Profile books sent to the Adoption Agency to submit to birthmothers when we choose AND this is crazy talk people!!

Reminder: Grandma - tenderhearted mercy, kindness, called to live in peace

Reminded today of what life is worth and who you love. Read this and thought of Grandma especially-she lived this!

Colossians 3:12-15 NLT
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

sneak peek: the photo session

Being photographed by a professional photographer who has years of experience and actual photography education was something else. Mark Hand of Photo Creations here in Ohio was so great with our boys and with us. He was able to capture some very candid, laughable moments that we will treasure and some very precious peaceful moments. Here are just a few of the laughable moments and a precious one:

Moments: Price Fun

Ian's giraffe meets his cousin John's giraffe. This was quite the celebration.

Strassenfest: Train Ride & Parade

Always LOVE new experience specially when life is sooo not-knowing right now.

And the Parade :)

 NOTE: We told Ian, "now put your hands out if you want candy" and this was the result.

First Movie: Winnie the Pooh

We went to Ian's first movie today and it was great! He was very astute and into it and asked questions or enthusiastically stated what was happening. We couldn't have asked for a better experience for his first one in a theatre. He wasn't sure about the "suspense" but did really well.  Mark encouraged popcorn so they had a little bit of that and it was a lovely time.

We'd love to have him see Cars 2 but it would be too stimulating at this point in time I think. So it was a great experience! Just waiting for Mark to upload our photo to facebook so I can update this post. :)

Recent Experiences

As usual A LOT has transpired since my last post, whenever that was.

• Ian & I visited my parents over the July 4th weekend, see some pictures below (LOTS of stories)...
• had some very close friends (i.e. part of our family) visit for a couple of days... (a later post)
• am deciding to change the way I eat completely... (another later post)
• am still running long runs (i.e. 9-13 miles)
• career changes are potentially occurring
• having a lot of vision & purpose talks with friends & family
• losing motivation to mow due to the heat
• listening to Ian as he states full sentences now & shows our expressions on his face!

 Lots of reading with Grandpa

 Planting flowers with Grandma

 Driving the John Deer Tractor!

 A First: Riding in Grandpa's convertible

 Making Fruit Pizza with Grandma

 The Best Pick-up Stick's worker!

 Baby birds Mommy!

 HI!

 A First: making homemade ice cream with Grandpa and Mommy

 The privilege: eating homemade ice cream off of the scoop.

 Walking a Trail

Placing flowers on Grandpa's head, a must. 

"Grandpa I have to tell you something!"