Nurture Project (LOVE THIS)
I have found that with working with various clients (especially mothers) that we have bought into this notion in our society that we cannot take time for ourselves or that somehow we are to do this solely on our own.
Nurturing You: Clipboard Project
As a busy mama – I’m sure the notion of “me time” either make you roll your eyes, burst into laughter…or tears?!! We mamas put our own needs on hold to meet the needs of everyone around us…and that can leave us burned out, frustrated and cranky!
I went to a parenting talk a year ago and what I came away with from it was this – if our ‘cup’ is empty (ie we are not filling ourselves up with the things we need to be happy), then we have nothing to spill out and give to those around us. We need to keep filling our own cup to be able to pour out into everyone else’s.
Since adding a third child to the mix, my cup has definitely been empty (more like a stone dry well actually!) and I keep going back to what I heard in the course…that I need to fill my cup. I need to carve out time for feeding my soul. This doesn’t need to be a huge amount of time on a weekly basis (that would be nice, but lets be realistic!), it could be a 10 minute meditation each day, it could be a long hot bubble bath once a week, it could be a monthly afternoon out with a friend. I love to be creative, and my natural high comes from making something out of nothing with my own two hands (and perhaps the help of a sewing machine!), so for me – I want to make time to pursue my creative fantasies (fixing holes in children’s pants does.not.count) – to do what I love for the sake of just doing it because I LOVE IT! Whether you love sewing, gardening, cooking, shopping…you know what feed your soul and I’m telling you – you need to make time for it!
To follow through with my wild notions of nurturing myself I need an actual plan to do this. I must choose and work to carve out the time – otherwise sneaky old regular life gets in the way of cup filling efforts. Luckily, my husband is on board with this plan (perhaps in the hopes I’ll become less cranky) – if you have small children at home all day every day then you need to enlist the support of someone to give you some alone time. Or, during school or nap times, wedge some cup-filling in there for you instead of cramming work/cleaning/cooking/washing into every free minute. Shiny happy mama = shiny happy family (you know it’s true)!
Most days I’m not even sure what day it is, so I’ve made a pretty little reminder clipboard for my nurturing plans. It’s propped up against my mirror where I’ll see it every day, and I can make a date/plans with myself on a slip of paper and keep it on the board for that week. Each week I will find the time to do one nice thing with myself – and once done I can switch the paper out with my following weeks plan. You can make one too! Yeah! Lets make 2011 the year where our cups are full, our families enjoy the splashings and we truly love and care for ourselves…wishing you all good things for this new year!
Emily
Nurture time reminder clipboard
Supplies:
Mini clipboard (office supply stores carry these)
Acrylic paint & foam brush
Paper (think scrapbook, gift-wrap, hand-made, magazine pages)
Mod podge/gel medium (or any white glue)
Ribbon or lace
Stickers, tags, fun things to embellish with.
Steps:
Cover all or part of the clipboard with your papers. You can make a collage of papers, or use one special piece. Paint the glue onto the clipboard to stick the paper down on, and then coat the paper in another layer of your glue.
Once the paper is dry, paint the remaining portion of the clipboard with 2-3 layers of acrylic paint (I simply lifted the metal clip to paint underneath it).
Add a strip of ribbon or lace using the glue.
Choose a word such as ‘nurture’, ‘nourish’, ‘breathe’, ‘my time’ to serve as a reminder to yourself!
Decorate the clipboard with any stickers or other fun things to make it your happy place.
*on the back of the clipboard I glued a library pocket to hold ‘ideas’ – then each week I can choose an idea from the pocket, and add to it as I feel inspired.
Some simple and (mostly!) inexpensive nurturing ideas:
Have a bubble bath
Read a magazine in bed
Take a solo trip to the library
Play with some watercolour paints
Visit a garden
Treat yourself to a nutritious meal at a favorite cafe
Download a meditation online, lay down and relaxxxx
Lay outside on a blanket and watch the clouds
Attend a class that you’ve always been meaning to try
Write a list of things you are grateful for
Receive a massage
Doodle with crayons
Sit in a park and people watch
Visit a museum or art gallery
Go for an indoor swim
Read a chapter of a book
Plan a girls night with some friends – organize and send invites
Have a home facial
Go for a walk and take photos of things you see
Take a self portrait
Create a visual soul collage from magazine pictures
Organize your wardrobe
Burn oils and listen to music
Write a card/letter to a friend
Plant something in your garden or in a pot
Phone your best friend for a chat
Write some goals in your journal
Try a new recipe
Set your timer for half an hour of crafty time
Give yourself a hand massage & manicure
Take yourself out for coffee/hot chocolate
Make a cd of your favorite music for listening to in the car
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
So Tired...
I am soo tired. It never fails, I can get up at 4:30am on Monday morning and swim, do an entire full day at the hospital and go to bed at a decent time....then get up at 5:30am Tuesday to run a 5 or 7 mile run and feel awesome + do a weight lifting class close after. And then Tuesday evening comes and I'm exhausted. It's 8:45pm and I will be going to bed very soon. At least I remember the "high" and great feeling after the morning run. It just gets hard by the time 4:00-6:00pm comes around. Alas, not complaining - "just sayin'". :) But it's worth it.
Flex all-sport ear buds review and giveaway
YEP a giveaway that looks really great to me! Plus I had to swipe Mark's earplugs b/c mine had the lining taken off with wear and now they suck into my ears after a few miles.
Flex all-sport ear buds review and giveaway - from this BLOG.
I don't like to gush about products that I'm asked to review--might not seem authentic, you know? But here's a product I need to gush about. It's Flex all-sport ear buds by H2OAudio. What makes these ear buds so cool? Well let me explain:
*They're waterproof to 3 feet (in case you fall into a nearby lake)
*They're sweatproof
*They come in a wide variety of colors
*They come with three pairs of silicone earplugs in small, medium and large so that you can customize the fit
*They're made so that you can use them, rinse them off, and repeat--no more sweaty ear buds!
*They don't fall out when in use
I tried them while on the bike trainer and loved the comfortable fit and sound quality. Even more, I loved that I could take them off and rinse them off when I finished. Since I can't run, I recruited this guy to try them out on the treadmill. He didn't love the power pink color, but he did like the performance--they never fell out or became loose while he ran. So a big thumb's up.
Now H2OAudio wants me to share the wealth. They've given me one pair of black headphones to giveaway (see, I picked black to appeal to both genders!).
For the giveaway:
1) Be a MissZippy follower or become one and let me know (required)
2) Like H2OAudio on Facebook (required)
3) Bonus--Post this giveaway on your blog, Facebook, or tweet about it.
Contest ends March 15 when I pick a winner through Random.org. Good luck!
Flex all-sport ear buds review and giveaway - from this BLOG.
I don't like to gush about products that I'm asked to review--might not seem authentic, you know? But here's a product I need to gush about. It's Flex all-sport ear buds by H2OAudio. What makes these ear buds so cool? Well let me explain:
*They're waterproof to 3 feet (in case you fall into a nearby lake)
*They're sweatproof
*They come in a wide variety of colors
*They come with three pairs of silicone earplugs in small, medium and large so that you can customize the fit
*They're made so that you can use them, rinse them off, and repeat--no more sweaty ear buds!
*They don't fall out when in use
I tried them while on the bike trainer and loved the comfortable fit and sound quality. Even more, I loved that I could take them off and rinse them off when I finished. Since I can't run, I recruited this guy to try them out on the treadmill. He didn't love the power pink color, but he did like the performance--they never fell out or became loose while he ran. So a big thumb's up.
Now H2OAudio wants me to share the wealth. They've given me one pair of black headphones to giveaway (see, I picked black to appeal to both genders!).
For the giveaway:
1) Be a MissZippy follower or become one and let me know (required)
2) Like H2OAudio on Facebook (required)
3) Bonus--Post this giveaway on your blog, Facebook, or tweet about it.
Contest ends March 15 when I pick a winner through Random.org. Good luck!
Monday, March 7, 2011
20 miler...
This day was pure loveliness...really it was. It was about 50 degrees when I left to go on my run which I knew would be something to talk about. Right when I stepped onto my first mile I kept thinking "ok when is this knee pain going to hit". It had been aching all morning and was aching right before I stepped out. Well the knee pain never came...it NEVER came and this 20-miler I was doing it by myself. I talked to God once again the entire time whether about my own fears - giving them to Him, prayers for friends and Mark, discussing various situations and clients.
It felt soo warm even with a pretty good wind. I looked down at one point and saw my legs...bright read...from wind burn but it didn't matter. I was on a mission. Below is the route I took. It was a new route for me that I had never done and I tried to keep it as flat as possible with some hills here and there. I ended up taking a short break to go to the restroom at mile 13 and then did a quick text to Mark to let him know where I was and that I was running to the church for my last 7. He encouraged me and it meant the world to me.
I kept going and it was a sight to see myself breaking through those last couple of miles. I was drained and my legs were tired...very, very tired. But I was so happy to run in shorts that I didn't care one bit and I finished! I finished running up the gravel side of the road to the church with Mark coming out the doors clapping, whistling and haulering for me. What support! I felt like a million bucks and like I had just won the Boston Marathon or something :)
It felt soo warm even with a pretty good wind. I looked down at one point and saw my legs...bright read...from wind burn but it didn't matter. I was on a mission. Below is the route I took. It was a new route for me that I had never done and I tried to keep it as flat as possible with some hills here and there. I ended up taking a short break to go to the restroom at mile 13 and then did a quick text to Mark to let him know where I was and that I was running to the church for my last 7. He encouraged me and it meant the world to me.
I kept going and it was a sight to see myself breaking through those last couple of miles. I was drained and my legs were tired...very, very tired. But I was so happy to run in shorts that I didn't care one bit and I finished! I finished running up the gravel side of the road to the church with Mark coming out the doors clapping, whistling and haulering for me. What support! I felt like a million bucks and like I had just won the Boston Marathon or something :)
To Be Written Posts
Those posts that need to be written:
* Ian's bargaining skills
* most recent 20-miles ran last Thursday
* impromptu Ohio trip to grandparents & Ian
* what it means to "guard your heart", Proverbs 4:23 for those couples struggling
* change in counseling room (owning how it [this counseling adventure] is really not my own including the space I work in)
* upcoming Crop & potential projects
* Ian's bargaining skills
* most recent 20-miles ran last Thursday
* impromptu Ohio trip to grandparents & Ian
* what it means to "guard your heart", Proverbs 4:23 for those couples struggling
* change in counseling room (owning how it [this counseling adventure] is really not my own including the space I work in)
* upcoming Crop & potential projects
Saturday, February 26, 2011
KAMFT Conference: The Basics and Beyond for Treating Today's Sexual Issues
Each workshop I went to was chalk full of interesting new research and information about sexual issues that couples and families encounter in this day and age, including the medical factors, differing sexual desires in a couple and the basics of sexual addiction with treatment process for couples and families.
In the Thursday morning workshop: Understanding the Medical Factors Behind Couple’s Sexual Problems (by Jean D. Koehler, PhD, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, Therapist and Supervisor, Asst. Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of Louisville Medical School), common medical causes were discussed along with treatments of sexual dysfunction, making referrals, and opportunities for further training. I was quite pleased to find that with working in a hospital PRN I had picked up enough terminology and medical language that I could understand most of the terms and surgical procedures that were presented. She discussed a lot about the effects of such procedures on a couple's sex life & the impact on their own differing desires). It was interesting to learn more about the impact of "free" testosterone (definition & amounts) in the human body and how this hormone impacts the regulation of sexual desire and arousal. I'd have to review my notes but most interesting to me was the effect after some cancer treatments. I would definitely like to look more into this subject to better understand how patient are being educated on how medical procedures may impact their marital relationships. I think men and women should be equipped with this information.
The Thursday afternoon workshop: Resolving Desire Differences by Jean A. Campbell, LMFT. Jean blended solution-focused techniques with a holistic approach of David Schnarch to help us as therapists to guide our clients out of toxic sexual interactions stemming from desire differences. Again I would need to revisit my notes on this but found that I agreed a lot with the emphasis on differentiation and how ultimately part of work may be in helping a spouse or both spouses to understand that their partner does not fully "complete" you and that the problem does not all lie in that other person's plate. Acknowledging and owning your own stuff and what you are yearning or desiring for that other person is your "stuff" and not theirs. It is your expectation and although you desire to be completely safe with that person...other things and desires get in the way and this is a lot of misinterpretation and miscommunication. (I may scan my notes here if I think about it - a lot to think about on this one). But I do see this one a lot in counseling.
Thursday late afternoon, evening was: The Ethics Behind Working With Sexually Related Issues by Stefanie Carnes, PhD. Although I was completely exhausted this provided an opportunity to learn what Federal Guidelines there are for reporting and working with someone possibly struggling viewing child pornography or other illegal actions of a sexual nature. She provided various role plays for us as therapist to do with our "clients" (our colleagues) and it helped to take out the shock value of such discoveries. It was good for me to talk through as a therapist b/c often times you don't know what issues may really be occurring with this person in front of you and they are only telling you one piece of information at a time. There for differing views in the room pertaining to the reporting aspect of this subject which honestly was nice to see since I was struggling with what I would do in certain circumstances.
All day Friday was Stefanie Carnes again with: the Basics and Beyond for Treating Today's Sexual Issues. I was pretty exhausted from the day before with just a lot of useful information. This workshop provided me with guidelines of how to navigate the minefield of family therapy for sexual addiction. There was a lengthy discussion about the criteria for sexual addiction (what it is and how we clarify it which was very interesting. She gave us an assessment tool that appeared to be very helpful. The hard part for me is when I began to gain a better understanding of the computer pornography industry and its impact on individuals, youth, and families. We were given demonstrations on particular iPhone Apps and it revealed an even darker side of this world than I am used to. Don't get me wrong I know it's there...but I do not participate in it nor do I research it myself to better understand a client's frame of mind. (For me that is too dangerous and I am wired in such a way that potentially exploring such things is not beneficial at all). So to say the least this was disturbing and very hard for me to sit through. Plus my paranoia began to work, but luckily God is so good helped me to see that His grace is enough and trusting in Him and His plan is ultimately the best way to think about and understand such behavior in our world. This understanding helps me to better relate with those close to me and not to distrust or be suspicious of things going on.
She utilized art therapy to show how spouses experienced the betrayal and how the client also felt their experience of the addiction (such shame & darkness). The impact on the family was heart-wrenching. Difficult therapeutic situations were presented and these are regular everyday people...we all fall but WOW these people fall the hardest I do believe regardless of their pasts that brought them to this desperate place of using sex or pornography to numb, to gradify, and to escape.
Towards the end we were facilitating the couple disclosure process and lastly appropriate interventions for children (of most interest to me) along with receiving resources for treatment of sexual addiction. I am a resource person because I am a generalist in where I do therapy and how I have to do therapy in a small town. My supervisor is priceless to me and invaluable.
Future: So looking to the future I began jotting down ideas for a workshop to do covering How to Help & Protect your Children to Develop a Health Sexuality. There are a lot of resources for helping parents to protect their children from online predators but the discussion for developing a health sexuality is not as prevalent. Below are a few links I am currently reading and may utilize some of their information for my own workshop.
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality: Focus on the Family
Resources for Healthy Sexuality: The Penners
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality: How to Start Early by Ron Jackson
Healthy Sexuality Development
In the Thursday morning workshop: Understanding the Medical Factors Behind Couple’s Sexual Problems (by Jean D. Koehler, PhD, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, Therapist and Supervisor, Asst. Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of Louisville Medical School), common medical causes were discussed along with treatments of sexual dysfunction, making referrals, and opportunities for further training. I was quite pleased to find that with working in a hospital PRN I had picked up enough terminology and medical language that I could understand most of the terms and surgical procedures that were presented. She discussed a lot about the effects of such procedures on a couple's sex life & the impact on their own differing desires). It was interesting to learn more about the impact of "free" testosterone (definition & amounts) in the human body and how this hormone impacts the regulation of sexual desire and arousal. I'd have to review my notes but most interesting to me was the effect after some cancer treatments. I would definitely like to look more into this subject to better understand how patient are being educated on how medical procedures may impact their marital relationships. I think men and women should be equipped with this information.
The Thursday afternoon workshop: Resolving Desire Differences by Jean A. Campbell, LMFT. Jean blended solution-focused techniques with a holistic approach of David Schnarch to help us as therapists to guide our clients out of toxic sexual interactions stemming from desire differences. Again I would need to revisit my notes on this but found that I agreed a lot with the emphasis on differentiation and how ultimately part of work may be in helping a spouse or both spouses to understand that their partner does not fully "complete" you and that the problem does not all lie in that other person's plate. Acknowledging and owning your own stuff and what you are yearning or desiring for that other person is your "stuff" and not theirs. It is your expectation and although you desire to be completely safe with that person...other things and desires get in the way and this is a lot of misinterpretation and miscommunication. (I may scan my notes here if I think about it - a lot to think about on this one). But I do see this one a lot in counseling.
Thursday late afternoon, evening was: The Ethics Behind Working With Sexually Related Issues by Stefanie Carnes, PhD. Although I was completely exhausted this provided an opportunity to learn what Federal Guidelines there are for reporting and working with someone possibly struggling viewing child pornography or other illegal actions of a sexual nature. She provided various role plays for us as therapist to do with our "clients" (our colleagues) and it helped to take out the shock value of such discoveries. It was good for me to talk through as a therapist b/c often times you don't know what issues may really be occurring with this person in front of you and they are only telling you one piece of information at a time. There for differing views in the room pertaining to the reporting aspect of this subject which honestly was nice to see since I was struggling with what I would do in certain circumstances.
All day Friday was Stefanie Carnes again with: the Basics and Beyond for Treating Today's Sexual Issues. I was pretty exhausted from the day before with just a lot of useful information. This workshop provided me with guidelines of how to navigate the minefield of family therapy for sexual addiction. There was a lengthy discussion about the criteria for sexual addiction (what it is and how we clarify it which was very interesting. She gave us an assessment tool that appeared to be very helpful. The hard part for me is when I began to gain a better understanding of the computer pornography industry and its impact on individuals, youth, and families. We were given demonstrations on particular iPhone Apps and it revealed an even darker side of this world than I am used to. Don't get me wrong I know it's there...but I do not participate in it nor do I research it myself to better understand a client's frame of mind. (For me that is too dangerous and I am wired in such a way that potentially exploring such things is not beneficial at all). So to say the least this was disturbing and very hard for me to sit through. Plus my paranoia began to work, but luckily God is so good helped me to see that His grace is enough and trusting in Him and His plan is ultimately the best way to think about and understand such behavior in our world. This understanding helps me to better relate with those close to me and not to distrust or be suspicious of things going on.
She utilized art therapy to show how spouses experienced the betrayal and how the client also felt their experience of the addiction (such shame & darkness). The impact on the family was heart-wrenching. Difficult therapeutic situations were presented and these are regular everyday people...we all fall but WOW these people fall the hardest I do believe regardless of their pasts that brought them to this desperate place of using sex or pornography to numb, to gradify, and to escape.
Towards the end we were facilitating the couple disclosure process and lastly appropriate interventions for children (of most interest to me) along with receiving resources for treatment of sexual addiction. I am a resource person because I am a generalist in where I do therapy and how I have to do therapy in a small town. My supervisor is priceless to me and invaluable.
Future: So looking to the future I began jotting down ideas for a workshop to do covering How to Help & Protect your Children to Develop a Health Sexuality. There are a lot of resources for helping parents to protect their children from online predators but the discussion for developing a health sexuality is not as prevalent. Below are a few links I am currently reading and may utilize some of their information for my own workshop.
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality: Focus on the Family
Resources for Healthy Sexuality: The Penners
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality: How to Start Early by Ron Jackson
Healthy Sexuality Development
20 miles...knee...outloud
This 20 mile run was unique in itself. Stacy was with me for the first 11-12 miles and wow the first 10 miles flew by! It was great just talking about anything and everything but for me also processing the conference I was at this past Thursday & Friday (more on that later).
Once Stacy and I split I found myself running the next 2-3 miles at 8:30-9:00 minute pace which is fast and too fast for the middle of a long training run; thus knee pain hit me like a brick wall around miles 14-15. It was painful so I slowed down and then realized that this knee pain may also be connected to how I allow oxygen to come into my body (a.k.a. talking outloud might help). But more importantly I felt God saying..."turn the music off and talk to me about what is on your mind." I had noticed that when running with Stacy and talking that my knee pain doesn't show up and more importantly the time went by faster so I decided to try it and ended up praying outloud with my Lord for the rest of the run (over an hour and half).
It was the most calming thing I think I have ever done running. I had to slow down and I had to face some of my thoughts while more importantly praising Him and praying for others. I also ended up going a slightly different route to add on miles and found myself completely by myself in the middle of not much. God was calling me to Him and I finally got it. I prayed for Mark in more ways than I have before and found peace knowing that by the end of this run, God knew my fears in a way that I had not expressed before, He knew my joys and hopes for Mark and He & I knew where I stand with Ian and motherhood.
The conversation defined a lot for me and at one point I just stopped talking and started listening. Of course my mind kept wanting to tell me TALK so your knee won't hurt but I went in and out and listened. The song, "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path" kept going through my mind. I even sang at one point -- RUNNING!
Moral of this story...stop and take time to listen and to speak outloud to God even when you are moving. It made all the difference and wouldn't you know...my knee pain went away almost instantaneously! I laughed, God you're so funny.
The conversation brought new meaning to running and to putting Christ first. What a revelation to me.
Once Stacy and I split I found myself running the next 2-3 miles at 8:30-9:00 minute pace which is fast and too fast for the middle of a long training run; thus knee pain hit me like a brick wall around miles 14-15. It was painful so I slowed down and then realized that this knee pain may also be connected to how I allow oxygen to come into my body (a.k.a. talking outloud might help). But more importantly I felt God saying..."turn the music off and talk to me about what is on your mind." I had noticed that when running with Stacy and talking that my knee pain doesn't show up and more importantly the time went by faster so I decided to try it and ended up praying outloud with my Lord for the rest of the run (over an hour and half).
And no this photo is not me. It is to symbolize what it was like running alone, just the sound of my feet on the pavement and my heart in a conversation with God.
It was the most calming thing I think I have ever done running. I had to slow down and I had to face some of my thoughts while more importantly praising Him and praying for others. I also ended up going a slightly different route to add on miles and found myself completely by myself in the middle of not much. God was calling me to Him and I finally got it. I prayed for Mark in more ways than I have before and found peace knowing that by the end of this run, God knew my fears in a way that I had not expressed before, He knew my joys and hopes for Mark and He & I knew where I stand with Ian and motherhood.
The conversation defined a lot for me and at one point I just stopped talking and started listening. Of course my mind kept wanting to tell me TALK so your knee won't hurt but I went in and out and listened. The song, "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path" kept going through my mind. I even sang at one point -- RUNNING!
Moral of this story...stop and take time to listen and to speak outloud to God even when you are moving. It made all the difference and wouldn't you know...my knee pain went away almost instantaneously! I laughed, God you're so funny.
The conversation brought new meaning to running and to putting Christ first. What a revelation to me.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Morning Run
This morning I tore myself out of bed - yes tore. The sheets could barely come off of me as I thought about a) sleep, b) everything that awaited me at the hospital, & c) what I would feel like if I ran or if I didn't run. I opted to run.
As I began thinking, "hmm...maybe just 4 miles" I geared up to get in my rhythm and gradually I began to think...about EVERYTHING. Here are some various thoughts that i zoned out with:
* projects for Crop for Kicks with Candy
- Christmas card squares-all years
- Ian's pages (some important ones)
- "past" pictures & stories
* clients...
- various couples & their directions
- upcoming conference
- my point-of-view, God's point-of-view & their point-of-view
* plans for this weekend (20-miler, Mark's sermon, on-call)
* laundry needs
* how fast or slow to go on this run
* most importantly: how to move to obedience when tempted to fall
- yes a loaded thought but I pictured myself in a moment when I would & have felt overwhelmed to overeat or to overindulge in items that are not good for my mind or my body
- analyzed my motives & my methods
- humbled myself before God to be lifted up with His strength & not my own
- thought about conversations with clients about overcoming & conquering
PS - I ended up running 5 miles :) I love how thoughts just take you places. The extra energy helped me kick my day off and He was first in my thoughts.
As I began thinking, "hmm...maybe just 4 miles" I geared up to get in my rhythm and gradually I began to think...about EVERYTHING. Here are some various thoughts that i zoned out with:
* projects for Crop for Kicks with Candy
- Christmas card squares-all years
- Ian's pages (some important ones)
- "past" pictures & stories
* clients...
- various couples & their directions
- upcoming conference
- my point-of-view, God's point-of-view & their point-of-view
* plans for this weekend (20-miler, Mark's sermon, on-call)
* laundry needs
* how fast or slow to go on this run
* most importantly: how to move to obedience when tempted to fall
- yes a loaded thought but I pictured myself in a moment when I would & have felt overwhelmed to overeat or to overindulge in items that are not good for my mind or my body
- analyzed my motives & my methods
- humbled myself before God to be lifted up with His strength & not my own
- thought about conversations with clients about overcoming & conquering
PS - I ended up running 5 miles :) I love how thoughts just take you places. The extra energy helped me kick my day off and He was first in my thoughts.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
CCJ Oasis: Staying in Love
Is it possible for two people to fall in love and actually stay there? Absolutely! During our Oasis time on Sunday nights we are doing this four-session video group study on making the most of your marriage with pastor & author Andy Stanley.
If you are unable to meet with us or have missed a group session, catch-up below & download the discussion questions. We'd love to have you in our actual group session - plus you get to connect with other couples who are working to "make it" in our marriage relationships.
If you are unable to meet with us or have missed a group session, catch-up below & download the discussion questions. We'd love to have you in our actual group session - plus you get to connect with other couples who are working to "make it" in our marriage relationships.
Sunday, February 27th is scheduled as a Guided DATE NIGHT for couples to do to make Love a Verb - each couple individually goes out on their own date night.
February 13th - The Juno Dilemma
February 20th - Re-Modeling
February 27th - Guided DATE NIGHT: MarriedLife (WE Marriage) PDF
March 6th - Feelin' It
March 13th - Multiple-Choice Marriage
Saturday, February 19, 2011
18 miles...
In keeping with my resolve, I did my training run today out of trust in God (for my knee pain) and knowing that it would RESET me (since it is my RESET button), and because I knew a friend and coworker would be helping me out with the last half or so.
It was amazing! It was a little rough as I wined up and down some of the initial neighborhoods around 6am just to get some extra mileage around the Jasper HS area and then went around one neighborhood (Poplar St) like 3 times to get myself to 3-4 miles before doing the longer stretch on St. Charles St. to the middle and beyond.
When doing long runs you have to take the run in segments (especially mentally) or it gets super intimidating and down right depression sometimes. I wore my mask this morning (it was 33-35 degrees) and I can't stand breathing in cold air. I was in awe at the full moon practically right in front of me most of the time and then as I watched the sun rise (pretty spectacular). I noticed a house that is like a barn in one of the neighborhoods - never saw that before. Adam, a friend came rushing by a couple of times in shorts & with a football jersey as his outer wear (crazy!).
I did waters/powerade stops & GU's and by the time mile 9 was coming up...my knee began hurting and I trusted in God. Knowing that if I couldn't finish the long run that somehow it would be ok and that I would simply go slower this next mile until I got to the house to refuel and to "pick up" with Stacy.
So we began mile 10 and the knee pain was still there but as we spoke (which I found came pretty easy once my breathing was back in rhythm) the pain quietly disappeared...and I found myself wanting to go faster, in fact going faster and conversing! I forgot what that was like since I am a solo runner usually. It was awesome! We ran from 13th-15th, on the Riverwalk, Clay to Division to Sunshine to 5th to Kluemper to 2nd through some neighborhoods. So the last 8 miles was full of conversation, stories, background discussion and just enjoying one another's company and the blessings God has given to both of us. She runs ultras...yes ultras - ya know the crazy people who do 50+ miles!!!
But it was lovely, and made to realize how I am not to go this journey alone. I am ultimately responsible for my own motivation but we are to live in community - both in our spiritual walks and in our physical endeavors. I learned a good lesson and was truly, truly blessed. Thanks Stacy!
It was amazing! It was a little rough as I wined up and down some of the initial neighborhoods around 6am just to get some extra mileage around the Jasper HS area and then went around one neighborhood (Poplar St) like 3 times to get myself to 3-4 miles before doing the longer stretch on St. Charles St. to the middle and beyond.
When doing long runs you have to take the run in segments (especially mentally) or it gets super intimidating and down right depression sometimes. I wore my mask this morning (it was 33-35 degrees) and I can't stand breathing in cold air. I was in awe at the full moon practically right in front of me most of the time and then as I watched the sun rise (pretty spectacular). I noticed a house that is like a barn in one of the neighborhoods - never saw that before. Adam, a friend came rushing by a couple of times in shorts & with a football jersey as his outer wear (crazy!).
I did waters/powerade stops & GU's and by the time mile 9 was coming up...my knee began hurting and I trusted in God. Knowing that if I couldn't finish the long run that somehow it would be ok and that I would simply go slower this next mile until I got to the house to refuel and to "pick up" with Stacy.
So we began mile 10 and the knee pain was still there but as we spoke (which I found came pretty easy once my breathing was back in rhythm) the pain quietly disappeared...and I found myself wanting to go faster, in fact going faster and conversing! I forgot what that was like since I am a solo runner usually. It was awesome! We ran from 13th-15th, on the Riverwalk, Clay to Division to Sunshine to 5th to Kluemper to 2nd through some neighborhoods. So the last 8 miles was full of conversation, stories, background discussion and just enjoying one another's company and the blessings God has given to both of us. She runs ultras...yes ultras - ya know the crazy people who do 50+ miles!!!
But it was lovely, and made to realize how I am not to go this journey alone. I am ultimately responsible for my own motivation but we are to live in community - both in our spiritual walks and in our physical endeavors. I learned a good lesson and was truly, truly blessed. Thanks Stacy!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Keeping the Resolve...
I'm in the middle of this marathon training and I must say...I'm losing some of my mojo and motivation for running and training. It may sound weird but as the weather gets warmer...I'm not wanting to run as much. It was almost easier to tell myself to push through the cold (teens, 20s, 30s) and snow rather than sitting at home or in bed.
But as it becomes warmer, my mindset is changing. It is kind of disappointing to me. It also could be the pain in my knee that has developed. It makes me think...maybe my focus is off, maybe I'm doing too much of this for me and not enough for God. Is this a selfish goal? Is it more satisfying than my relationship with God? Do I need to tone back and focus more on what He wants me to do? Is running part of it?
Yes, I'm thinking to much but it's part of how I am wired. I am wired to be aware of my relationship with God, to be aware of how my body feels and functions, the be aware of my thoughts (positive and negative and meaningful), and I am aware of how my routine affects my family and my ministry. I'm wired to be aware.
So I'm trying to keep my resolve...to break through pain without neglecting my body and not being wise. I'm hoping and praying to continue to run for this marathon but also to tone back and to consider what other things God desires me to think about and to do. Keeping my resolve, intending on continuing, knowing God is with me and hoping perseverence and consistency will be rewarded.
But as it becomes warmer, my mindset is changing. It is kind of disappointing to me. It also could be the pain in my knee that has developed. It makes me think...maybe my focus is off, maybe I'm doing too much of this for me and not enough for God. Is this a selfish goal? Is it more satisfying than my relationship with God? Do I need to tone back and focus more on what He wants me to do? Is running part of it?
Yes, I'm thinking to much but it's part of how I am wired. I am wired to be aware of my relationship with God, to be aware of how my body feels and functions, the be aware of my thoughts (positive and negative and meaningful), and I am aware of how my routine affects my family and my ministry. I'm wired to be aware.
So I'm trying to keep my resolve...to break through pain without neglecting my body and not being wise. I'm hoping and praying to continue to run for this marathon but also to tone back and to consider what other things God desires me to think about and to do. Keeping my resolve, intending on continuing, knowing God is with me and hoping perseverence and consistency will be rewarded.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
My Response is my Responsibility
My Response is My Responsibility
I go back to this video for premarital couples again and again, and for Mark & I.
This is part of the premarital couples' date night for the topic "communication" which is right before the conflict resolution session so it helps to soften hearts.
I go back to this video for premarital couples again and again, and for Mark & I.
This is part of the premarital couples' date night for the topic "communication" which is right before the conflict resolution session so it helps to soften hearts.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Chica Bands Giveaway @ Momma Are We There Yet? Blog
Momma Are We There Yet?: Chica Bands: "(photo from Runner's World) I have searched long and hard for headbands. I used to have different bands for everyday wear, working out, com..."
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Spring 2011 Training Schedule
Here is my Spring 2011 Training Schedule I am currently following. For the most part I am doing pretty well with it. I sometimes struggle on Tuesdays after getting up so early Mondays and working a full day at the hospital. Tuesday morning run is so hard to do. Otherwise this is a compiled training for a tri and for a marathon - actually a marathon that would beat 4 hours .
* cycling = bike training in our basement or a spinning class
** "bp" = body pump class (weight lifting)
*** "stretching" = pilates/yoga class
**** swim/# = the miles I need to run on that day if I am not swimming
Follow along if you would like or take bits and pieces from it. I learned from Mark but this is the first full schedule that I have organized by myself and for myself so I'm pretty happy. :) Happy training!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Nutritional Information - Training
Written on Go! St. Louis website - I need to concentrate on this - ENJOY!
Nutrition is a very important part of training. Proper food and fluids not only provide energy for an athlete to achieve his/her daily fitness goals, but also helps in muscle recovery after your workout. Clint Verran, a licensed physical therapist – specializing in running-related injuries; a personal running coach; and one of America’s premier runners – is a big believer in the power of nutrition. Here, he provides some nutrition tips for adults participating in the GO! St. Louis Family Fitness Weekend.
Daily Nutrition : The goal of your daily nutrition should be to adequately fuel your exercise, promote recovery, and avoid fat storage. Eat often to help control portion size. Multiple, smaller meals are best rather than large meals which trigger fat storage.Eat a small snack right before you run and fuel up on some carbohydrates immediately after running. Plan snacks between meals. Exercise and a steady caloric intake during the day keep your metabolism hot. Plan your eating around your activity. Monitor carbs. Eat carbs earlier in the day to fuel your exercise and daily activities. Limit mega doses of carbs in the evenings, unless you’re racing the next morning!
Race Week: Traditional carbo-loading techniques call for a 3-4 day "depletion" phase, where runners completely avoid any and all carbohydrates. The theory is that by starving yourself of carbohydrates, you make your muscles carbohydrate receptors hyper-sensitive to carbs. Then, when you reintroduce carbs, you load your muscles with more than they could normally absorb.
The problem with this method is that you expose yourself to a high risk of illness. Your immune system runs on carbs. The last thing you want is to get sick the week before your big race. INSTEAD, try a very subtle reduction in carb intake for a few days, early in the week. A small reduction should be fine because you are already tapering your training at this point. Then, the last three days before the race, get in as many high-quality carbs as you can.
During the Week: The marathon is the only distance where calories are required during the race. 10Ks and half marathons can easily be run on the body’s own glycogen stores. During the marathon, the best way to take in calories is to drink them. DO NOT pass up a sports-drink station. Sports drinks solve two problems: hydration and calories. Plain water is better than nothing, but you are missing a great opportunity to fuel your muscles. Carbo-gels or Energy Gels can satisfy thisn need if sports drinks are infrequent. You need to practice taking these gels during training. Take the gel with a couple big gulps of water. If you choose the gel route, try taking three. One gel at 6 miles, 12, and 18. Getting them in on the early side will be more beneficial than waiting until the end of the race. Look for caffeinated gels for later in the race. The caffeine will help keep you mentally focused when you really need it.
Post-Run Recovery: The most important thing to remember when it comes to recovery nutrition is TIMING. Immediately after exercise, your muscles crave carbohydrates. If you can consume carbs within 45 minutes or so after a cardiovascular workout, your body will do a much better job of storing the carbohydrates as muscle glycogen as opposed to turning it into fat. This muscle glycogen will come in very handy for your next run! TIP: Try to take in AT LEAST 500 calories of carbohydrates (grains, cereal, fruits, energy bars) within 30 minutes following a run. The longer you wait, the more of this wonderful effect is lost. Change into some dry clothes, EAT, then get that shower!
Important Habits
The most important habits you can have to live a long and healthy life are:
yes 1.Exercise and move your body every day.
yes 2.Always use your seat belts.
oops 3.Drink water - your body is 70% water.
sort of 4.Eat a good breakfast every day.
sort of 5.Eat a lot of fruits and vegetables.
sort of 6.Limit fat, salt, caffeine, and sugar in your food.
try to 7.Sleep 7 to 8 hours every night.
yes 8.Spend time with friends and laugh a lot!
Life with Lyme...= LIFE Renewed
As I read this young woman's blog post - I found myself asking that question she asks "do I have a problem with not getting my way?"......... That is a hard, revealing question and it leads to yes I am selfish and wow this post hit me b/c I could be her. She speaks of long-distance running and then not being able to do it.
So, I found out about 6 weeks ago that I have Lyme disease. And for me, that was great news! After over three months of doctor visits and blood tests and weight checks and pain killers and no answers as to what was wrong with me, I was thrilled to find out that I didn’t have something more debilitating like an autoimmune disorder, which does run in my family. Let’s just say that through the experiences with all the doctors (some much better than others), learning what it’s like to be sick for an extended period of time, and trying to take care of each other above ourselves through it all…I learned a lot. (Randall probably learned his own stuff, too, but I don’t want to speak for him).
I learned not to take my energy for granted. Not to take my health for granted. As a person accustomed to long-distance running, it was a huge blow to not even have the energy to do laundry. I would literally wake up, go to work, come home and sleep. Randall would cook, do laundry, and put me to bed. It sucked. I was tired and cranky and moody all the time. Who wants to feel that crappy especially when you have no idea why you feel crappy to begin with?
I’ve gotten back up to maybe a mile and a half at this point, which compared to how I used to run, is like a power-walk through the mall. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. Even though I am still recovering, still looking to be able to do everything that I once could, I am so grateful to our Father and Redeemer who has renewed me. My spirit and my body are being renewed. It has been a painful process at points, for sure. And, through this process, I’ve had to come face to face with a big hiccup for me – not being able to do what I want to do.
As a write those words, I’m afraid to even publish this blog post. Do I want to admit that I have a problem sometimes with not getting my way? No, I don’t. But, I think that might be the biggest thing that God forced me to learn through all of this. Life isn’t about doing it your way, or getting your way, or doing what you want to do. God can and will take control when we drop the ball. I’m afraid to say that I did drop the ball in some ways. I hope that I am finally freed from the throes of the Lyme disease, but more than that, I hope that this learning experience sticks with me and forces some permanent changes in my life. I hope that in 4 months, or whenever this Lyme disease fully gets out of my system, I will look back and be grateful that I was sick. If that’s what it takes for me to finally get it, that LIFE, Life in Christ, is truly greater than me and my whims, then I’ll take it. And, if you read this, and you see me being princess-y, unnecessarily, just remind me of Lenny, as my mom likes to call him…Lenny the Lyme….
Life with Lyme = LIFE Renewed
So, I found out about 6 weeks ago that I have Lyme disease. And for me, that was great news! After over three months of doctor visits and blood tests and weight checks and pain killers and no answers as to what was wrong with me, I was thrilled to find out that I didn’t have something more debilitating like an autoimmune disorder, which does run in my family. Let’s just say that through the experiences with all the doctors (some much better than others), learning what it’s like to be sick for an extended period of time, and trying to take care of each other above ourselves through it all…I learned a lot. (Randall probably learned his own stuff, too, but I don’t want to speak for him).
I learned not to take my energy for granted. Not to take my health for granted. As a person accustomed to long-distance running, it was a huge blow to not even have the energy to do laundry. I would literally wake up, go to work, come home and sleep. Randall would cook, do laundry, and put me to bed. It sucked. I was tired and cranky and moody all the time. Who wants to feel that crappy especially when you have no idea why you feel crappy to begin with?
I’ve gotten back up to maybe a mile and a half at this point, which compared to how I used to run, is like a power-walk through the mall. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. Even though I am still recovering, still looking to be able to do everything that I once could, I am so grateful to our Father and Redeemer who has renewed me. My spirit and my body are being renewed. It has been a painful process at points, for sure. And, through this process, I’ve had to come face to face with a big hiccup for me – not being able to do what I want to do.
As a write those words, I’m afraid to even publish this blog post. Do I want to admit that I have a problem sometimes with not getting my way? No, I don’t. But, I think that might be the biggest thing that God forced me to learn through all of this. Life isn’t about doing it your way, or getting your way, or doing what you want to do. God can and will take control when we drop the ball. I’m afraid to say that I did drop the ball in some ways. I hope that I am finally freed from the throes of the Lyme disease, but more than that, I hope that this learning experience sticks with me and forces some permanent changes in my life. I hope that in 4 months, or whenever this Lyme disease fully gets out of my system, I will look back and be grateful that I was sick. If that’s what it takes for me to finally get it, that LIFE, Life in Christ, is truly greater than me and my whims, then I’ll take it. And, if you read this, and you see me being princess-y, unnecessarily, just remind me of Lenny, as my mom likes to call him…Lenny the Lyme….
Life with Lyme = LIFE Renewed
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
A More Comfortable Ride - Tri Training
From IRONGIRL email newsletter...
I've been off my bike for a few months (oh do I enjoy the off season and the holidays) and I dread getting back in the saddle. For the simple reason; it hurts and it takes a while for the ride to get comfortable. Here are a few tips for a more comfortable ride:
a)Seat - your seat is so important to your comfort. They make women specific seats so do a little research to find one. Ask at your local bike store to do a butt fit...sounds crazy and a little embarrassing because they actually measure your butt, but it will identify the perfect size seat for your frame.
b)Bike fit - it really does pay off to have a proper bike fit...not just once but throughout your time on your bike. New shoes - get re fitted, back hurts -get re fitted. This is not set it and forget it, this is a work in progress.
c)Padding - to pad or not to pad! For long rides it is necessary to find a good pair of bike shorts or pants that have a nice pad in them. You might feel like you are wearing a diaper when you are walking around but on the saddle it is all about comfort so you get in a good productive ride!
d)Chamois Cream - to lube or not to lube. I can honestly say I have never had saddle sores or chaffing issues but I do use a chamois cream for the moisture and comfort. There is no one size fits all on chamois cream either, but there is one specifically for women. The ingredients are anti- bacterial so less chance for infection and they have added ingredients for a moisturizing consistency (who wants wax on their girlie parts)....Hoo Ha Ride Glide...for women by women
If you visit www.reflectsports.com and use Irongirl15 at check out you will get a 15% discount...
I've been off my bike for a few months (oh do I enjoy the off season and the holidays) and I dread getting back in the saddle. For the simple reason; it hurts and it takes a while for the ride to get comfortable. Here are a few tips for a more comfortable ride:
a)Seat - your seat is so important to your comfort. They make women specific seats so do a little research to find one. Ask at your local bike store to do a butt fit...sounds crazy and a little embarrassing because they actually measure your butt, but it will identify the perfect size seat for your frame.
b)Bike fit - it really does pay off to have a proper bike fit...not just once but throughout your time on your bike. New shoes - get re fitted, back hurts -get re fitted. This is not set it and forget it, this is a work in progress.
c)Padding - to pad or not to pad! For long rides it is necessary to find a good pair of bike shorts or pants that have a nice pad in them. You might feel like you are wearing a diaper when you are walking around but on the saddle it is all about comfort so you get in a good productive ride!
d)Chamois Cream - to lube or not to lube. I can honestly say I have never had saddle sores or chaffing issues but I do use a chamois cream for the moisture and comfort. There is no one size fits all on chamois cream either, but there is one specifically for women. The ingredients are anti- bacterial so less chance for infection and they have added ingredients for a moisturizing consistency (who wants wax on their girlie parts)....Hoo Ha Ride Glide...for women by women
If you visit www.reflectsports.com and use Irongirl15 at check out you will get a 15% discount...
Monday, January 31, 2011
10 Design Blogs You Must Read
10 Design Blogs You Must Read
Yes this is my past time...looking at design blogs or surfing Etsy.com.
Yes this is my past time...looking at design blogs or surfing Etsy.com.
Learning to Love, Live & be more of myself...
Ali Edward's Mini Poster "Today. It is ok. Embrace imperfection. Go with the flow. Find your voice. Tell your story. Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be. I am a LIFE ARTIST. Play." An unforeseen day...had work days switched so today was unpredictable...endless possibilities...
It's truly a process...this morning I woke up to swim and struggled but did it and did not know what the rest of today held. But I found myself in a great conversation with a dear friend over breakfast after waking up my little man from his sleep with a happy smile and giggles.
This season especially today was lovely...just l-o-v-e-l-y and I want to cherish it. In this moment as I sit here at this dear friend's home I am listening to the moving Christian music in the background on the surround sound and just taking some time for myself while she is hard at work with her daily work. I'm calm...I'm "with it" and it's refreshing. It's such a blessing to be able to "invade" someone else's life for a few hours to see how they live, where they live and what they do. It takes me out of my life a little to see the bigger picture and to see how others' lives (our triumphs and struggles) and how we are really ALL THE SAME.
We struggle and we don't want to ask for help and try to figure it out ourselves. Sometimes we succeed and sometimes we give up. We all have different gifts that help others out. How many times do I sit on my hands demanding it be done MY way without asking for help?? Grrr....
This is just lovely...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Vulnerability
Speaking of vulnerability, all of this reading about shame and its effects and how vulnerability (willingness to express it and/or not express it or access it), has brought me to now.
Over the past several days I have been pondering...where am I "closed" to people and where am I "open". So being a person of authenticity (striving to do so) I am figuring out who and with whom I am more authentic and with whom I go into counseling mode (which is a bit different) and/or life mode (which is basic conversation). In a profession where "objectivity" is touted as the ultimate need...for a professional, although very hard to attain - I am presented with a dilemma. How much of myself do I allow in a room with being present with someone in their pain? All of myself? Some of myself? All & some together or none of myself if it is terribly traumatic? How much do I allow in a simple public setting where people might be watching (or not)?
There are those people who I "let my guard" down with whom I trust and can assume and have been shown to be trustworthy and "get me". There are those who I can be fun with and joke around with but am unsure still about those deep issues or discussions that roll around in my head on a daily basis. There are those I have issues in common with (food issues - mind you vulnerability here) and there are those who I have no common issue with one bit and yet discuss life with.
We all have "inner circles" at least it is a belief of mine that it is healthy to do so. Jesus had an inner circle of those He trusted. And then a family circle - those I consider family but might not fully disclose to depending on their personality and then there is a "friend" circle - I call you "friend" but we might not have time or have invested in a deep friendship together. And then there are acquaintances - a very large group that I interact with a good bit but without that deep meaning that is part of my heart. We are a church of close to a 1,000 people now and I find most of my relationships in the congregation to be acquaintances (good ones) but still that is the level. Which is where I'm finding it is the hard part for me with vulnerability and facebook.
Many of my facebook friends are simply acquaintances. "I like you, you like me, we have Christ and that is our commonality." There are friends, "I hang out with you, you with me and we read and discuss items, we're friends." Those even closer - "I make time out of my day for you, you check up on me and we 'do life' together and share our lives together." Those who are closest: "you challenge me, you call me on 'my stuff' when I'm letting it get in the way again of thriving...you care and you allow me to be vulnerable and I trust you completely - you follow-up." We all have those opportunities for these close friendship (for me sisterships) but often we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable and simply shut people out. My problem at times & more recently, I begin to mix everything up and place my closest friends into regular friends and aquaintances and shut them out - I close off as one friend told me. And I do.
It's a way to separate myself to help me see where I am at and how much of myself I can give, am willing to give and would like to give. Ultimately I wish I had enough for everything and everyone but I'm not God and don't desire to be. Vulnerability...how much am I willing to let out? How much am I able to share? Will you listen? Will you care? Will this mean anything to you if you would know I or someone else was struggling? Could you give? We all face it, we just don't talk about it too much b/c it might be uncomfortable or make us talk about those issues we'd rather keep hidden. Those things that we feel shame towards or do not know how to express. Yes this is me, deep me and I'm ok with it. I have the stability of instability and realize that is why I do therapy...how else will I get it? LOL *sigh*
Over the past several days I have been pondering...where am I "closed" to people and where am I "open". So being a person of authenticity (striving to do so) I am figuring out who and with whom I am more authentic and with whom I go into counseling mode (which is a bit different) and/or life mode (which is basic conversation). In a profession where "objectivity" is touted as the ultimate need...for a professional, although very hard to attain - I am presented with a dilemma. How much of myself do I allow in a room with being present with someone in their pain? All of myself? Some of myself? All & some together or none of myself if it is terribly traumatic? How much do I allow in a simple public setting where people might be watching (or not)?
There are those people who I "let my guard" down with whom I trust and can assume and have been shown to be trustworthy and "get me". There are those who I can be fun with and joke around with but am unsure still about those deep issues or discussions that roll around in my head on a daily basis. There are those I have issues in common with (food issues - mind you vulnerability here) and there are those who I have no common issue with one bit and yet discuss life with.
We all have "inner circles" at least it is a belief of mine that it is healthy to do so. Jesus had an inner circle of those He trusted. And then a family circle - those I consider family but might not fully disclose to depending on their personality and then there is a "friend" circle - I call you "friend" but we might not have time or have invested in a deep friendship together. And then there are acquaintances - a very large group that I interact with a good bit but without that deep meaning that is part of my heart. We are a church of close to a 1,000 people now and I find most of my relationships in the congregation to be acquaintances (good ones) but still that is the level. Which is where I'm finding it is the hard part for me with vulnerability and facebook.
Many of my facebook friends are simply acquaintances. "I like you, you like me, we have Christ and that is our commonality." There are friends, "I hang out with you, you with me and we read and discuss items, we're friends." Those even closer - "I make time out of my day for you, you check up on me and we 'do life' together and share our lives together." Those who are closest: "you challenge me, you call me on 'my stuff' when I'm letting it get in the way again of thriving...you care and you allow me to be vulnerable and I trust you completely - you follow-up." We all have those opportunities for these close friendship (for me sisterships) but often we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable and simply shut people out. My problem at times & more recently, I begin to mix everything up and place my closest friends into regular friends and aquaintances and shut them out - I close off as one friend told me. And I do.
It's a way to separate myself to help me see where I am at and how much of myself I can give, am willing to give and would like to give. Ultimately I wish I had enough for everything and everyone but I'm not God and don't desire to be. Vulnerability...how much am I willing to let out? How much am I able to share? Will you listen? Will you care? Will this mean anything to you if you would know I or someone else was struggling? Could you give? We all face it, we just don't talk about it too much b/c it might be uncomfortable or make us talk about those issues we'd rather keep hidden. Those things that we feel shame towards or do not know how to express. Yes this is me, deep me and I'm ok with it. I have the stability of instability and realize that is why I do therapy...how else will I get it? LOL *sigh*
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com
I'm beginning to really enjoying reading her words & watching her talks...
Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com
I guess Tao said this - not a follower of his but enjoyed the different perspective.
"To be whole, let yourself break.
To be straight, let yourself bend.
To be full, let yourself be empty.
To be new, let yourself wear out.
To have everything, give everything up.
Knowing others is a kind of knowledge;
knowing yourself is wisdom.
Conquering others requires strength;
conquering yourself is true power.
To realize that you have enough is true wealth.
Pushing ahead may succeed,
but staying put brings endurance.
Die without perishing, and find the eternal.
To know that you do not know is strength.
Not knowing that you do not know is a sickness.
The cure begins with the recognition of the sickness.
Knowing what is permanent: enlightenment.
Not knowing what is permanent: disaster.
Knowing what is permanent opens the mind.
Open mind, open heart.
Open heart, magnanimity."
Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com
I guess Tao said this - not a follower of his but enjoyed the different perspective.
"To be whole, let yourself break.
To be straight, let yourself bend.
To be full, let yourself be empty.
To be new, let yourself wear out.
To have everything, give everything up.
Knowing others is a kind of knowledge;
knowing yourself is wisdom.
Conquering others requires strength;
conquering yourself is true power.
To realize that you have enough is true wealth.
Pushing ahead may succeed,
but staying put brings endurance.
Die without perishing, and find the eternal.
To know that you do not know is strength.
Not knowing that you do not know is a sickness.
The cure begins with the recognition of the sickness.
Knowing what is permanent: enlightenment.
Not knowing what is permanent: disaster.
Knowing what is permanent opens the mind.
Open mind, open heart.
Open heart, magnanimity."
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Get Your Paint On
After yesterday's post I realize that after running a long run (just accomplished 13.1 miles on a treadmill! - never done that before), everything just seems brighter and more possibilities are at hand for me. Just an observation.
I came across this ecourse class and it is something that would definitely go on my bucket list. Painting...always wanted to do it just never have taken the time or have seen the ambition for it.
However, training for a marathon now pretty well takes up any free time that would be put into such a creative 'venture. Would love to do it in the future!
I came across this ecourse class and it is something that would definitely go on my bucket list. Painting...always wanted to do it just never have taken the time or have seen the ambition for it.
However, training for a marathon now pretty well takes up any free time that would be put into such a creative 'venture. Would love to do it in the future!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Just Some Thoughts
Today has been a weird day for me, kind of scattered. Slept extra long this morning (went to bed at 9:00pm and woke up different times but ended up "getting" up out of bed at 7:15am). Went to "bodyvive" which usually is simply pilates and stretching but today was almost like a dance class with music and moves.
Cleaned myself up quickly and changed and went directly to do errands before my 10:00am counseling appointment which was pretty intense and took a lot of thinking. Did various tasks between 11-12 and then had a nice session at 12. I wondered why I was so very hungry afterwards (hmmmm didn't have lunch yet) and wanted to eat everything in site.
Ended up working on Premarital Class - all workbooks done and various changes made. But feel a little frazzled and uncertain. Could b/c of a 10-13 mile run I am to do on Friday but with the impending snow I'm unsure if I'll get to do it while Ian is at childcare before I pick him up to head to Louisville for supervision. Mark will be in Louisville which I'm so excited about for him.
Wanting to get our basement area painted...don't think that will happen and want to spend time with friends. Maybe too many expectations, maybe just thinking too much or too little or trying to be too productive. I'm not sure but I don't feel right :S. Alas, just trying to figure out how to remain obedient. Today I really haven't taken time to be with God and no doubt that is part of it so while I'm driving and waiting and thinking, I think I'll discuss all of this with him.
Cleaned myself up quickly and changed and went directly to do errands before my 10:00am counseling appointment which was pretty intense and took a lot of thinking. Did various tasks between 11-12 and then had a nice session at 12. I wondered why I was so very hungry afterwards (hmmmm didn't have lunch yet) and wanted to eat everything in site.
Ended up working on Premarital Class - all workbooks done and various changes made. But feel a little frazzled and uncertain. Could b/c of a 10-13 mile run I am to do on Friday but with the impending snow I'm unsure if I'll get to do it while Ian is at childcare before I pick him up to head to Louisville for supervision. Mark will be in Louisville which I'm so excited about for him.
Wanting to get our basement area painted...don't think that will happen and want to spend time with friends. Maybe too many expectations, maybe just thinking too much or too little or trying to be too productive. I'm not sure but I don't feel right :S. Alas, just trying to figure out how to remain obedient. Today I really haven't taken time to be with God and no doubt that is part of it so while I'm driving and waiting and thinking, I think I'll discuss all of this with him.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Overcoming Fear
This morning I FINALLY did it. I got up at 4:35am to go swimming at 5:00am and out of faith that God would see me through. A) being in a bathing suit - never a strong suit for me, B) being intimidated by all these other swimmers who can actually "swim", C) trying to fit in and find a lane to swim in when people are "regulars" and probably like their particular lanes.
Well, it worked and Praise God I didn't drown and actually enjoyed this early morning swim. I didn't sleep much at all, in fact tossed and turned all night. But this morning as I got out of my card into the cold air and saw some of the sky and just listened to the sounds of the morning I thought, "hmmmm, yeah I could get used to this."
It was lovely.
Well, it worked and Praise God I didn't drown and actually enjoyed this early morning swim. I didn't sleep much at all, in fact tossed and turned all night. But this morning as I got out of my card into the cold air and saw some of the sky and just listened to the sounds of the morning I thought, "hmmmm, yeah I could get used to this."
It was lovely.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Mary/Martha & Paint
This afternoon & evening a story developed and the question arose, would I be a Mary or a Martha? (see Luke 10:38-41) I ended up painting some of our basement walls with a friend and then some exciting news came to her and she left. I stood there thinking..."hmmm I had not intended to really paint but now that I have begun I must finish". All the while thinking I would not be able to go our Sunday night class "Supernatural". As time passed by I got the primer up on the dark walls and realized the reality - either I was staying home and putting another coat on, putting up the paint color and staying up later than intending while missing this awesome class. Or I just needed to let go and leave it in God's hands that I would get back to it later on this week or when time became available. I chose the path of Mary by finishing up and making sure I was to class and I did not regret it. If you want to see what this class is about go to: www.lifechurch.tv/watch/supernatural. It's Worth it and I'm learning...when I choose Mary God works in my heart and life transforms.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I Wore the Tights
10 miles @ 9:09-9:13 pace (I'll take it - just not the potential calf injury I might develop)
This morning at the time of 6:45 I went out to the brisk dark air to begin my run for 9-10 miles. I found myself wearing tights (without outer pants)...well I didn't just discover that I had them on or anything (that would be interesting) but rather it was an intentional choice.
I have never been a runner or athlete to wear such form-hugging sportwears. In fact, I am pretty self-conscious and always have been. However, as I ran in 2010 into the present, I finally gave up the need to hide my thighs by buying bigger & longer shorts. Unfortunately, the style of shorts I had always worn were no longer "in style" or sold by New Balance so I had to venture out into the running shorts made today for women. These shorts inevitably show your inner thighs (ever-so briefly) but nonetheless they show.
But today I wore the tights. The tights told a story of partial confidence & acceptance, not caring and running with intention and warmth. I wore the tights. The kind of tights that are so snug they show the shape of your butt. That part is the hardest for me, but I began to think 1) it's dark, 2) people out now are on a mission to get somewhere and don't care, 3) my yellow hat is way cooler, and 4) I'll be running with a good stride so you might not tell the shape :)
But alas, I wore the tights...symbolizing in some way a serious runner, an intentional woman, and independence from my critical voice in my head. I wore the tights.
This morning at the time of 6:45 I went out to the brisk dark air to begin my run for 9-10 miles. I found myself wearing tights (without outer pants)...well I didn't just discover that I had them on or anything (that would be interesting) but rather it was an intentional choice.
I have never been a runner or athlete to wear such form-hugging sportwears. In fact, I am pretty self-conscious and always have been. However, as I ran in 2010 into the present, I finally gave up the need to hide my thighs by buying bigger & longer shorts. Unfortunately, the style of shorts I had always worn were no longer "in style" or sold by New Balance so I had to venture out into the running shorts made today for women. These shorts inevitably show your inner thighs (ever-so briefly) but nonetheless they show.
But today I wore the tights. The tights told a story of partial confidence & acceptance, not caring and running with intention and warmth. I wore the tights. The kind of tights that are so snug they show the shape of your butt. That part is the hardest for me, but I began to think 1) it's dark, 2) people out now are on a mission to get somewhere and don't care, 3) my yellow hat is way cooler, and 4) I'll be running with a good stride so you might not tell the shape :)
But alas, I wore the tights...symbolizing in some way a serious runner, an intentional woman, and independence from my critical voice in my head. I wore the tights.
Friday, January 14, 2011
One Year Ago
One Year Ago at this time I was struggling and it was bad, very bad. I was sick most of January off and on but a 3-4 day consecutive stretch made me have to think about and reconcile what I wanted and where I was going. I was walking the path back into depression or my "darkness" and one day I ended up watching "Julie and Julia". A wonderful movie whereby the main character Julie is present day begins her own renewed journey of cooking through Julia Child's cookbook "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" and along the way she finds herself through blogging and through struggle. She gains confidence and begins to have her own voice.
I found it inspiring as I'm sure many others have and secretly began my own blog (www.allowingmyself.blogspot.com) with the premise that I needed to begin allowing myself to do certain things again and find joy in them. I was disinterested in most everything and felt a deep void. Usually this happens when I'm distant from God and that was part of it but it was also because I was distant from myself and my own voice. I wanted to rediscover this voice or as Kelly Rae has been saying on her blog find myself as my own "secret ingredient".
Throughout this past year I did receive the gumption and desire to pass the LMFT licensure exam to train again for not one but two half-marathons (Cincinnati Flying Pig & Tulsa Route 66)...strive to work more hours at the hospital, pursue client's stories in counseling and aspire to be consistent in my exercise & fitness (August through December "and beyond"). As a mother I was witnessed to a baby becoming a little boy or man, our toddler and listen to him as he begins his journy of language and repetition including expressing himself in fun ways (& not so fun ways).
I was witness to Mark pursuing his reading through the Bible and inspired by his perseverence to blog and continue going even through all the Old Testament names. I could see him change over the Summer and into the Fall.
I still aspire to do many things a year, in fact probably too many things so I am trying to be realistic while at the same time piling it on. God is the most important and I need to make sure to keep it that way. I want to be available to Mark and to Ian and also feel led to continue on in my own journey of fitness and pursuit of another marathon. But this time with cross-training and with better eating habits. My desire is to lose 10lbs over this next year (healthily) and to pursue more knowledge and practice with MFT (summer & fall) while decluttering our home to potentially down-size at some point. I'd love to craft and put creativity first but this isn't the time. I have energy, I have gumption and I'm ready to MOVE.
Are you ready to MOVE? If so, where with what or doing what or just being?
I found it inspiring as I'm sure many others have and secretly began my own blog (www.allowingmyself.blogspot.com) with the premise that I needed to begin allowing myself to do certain things again and find joy in them. I was disinterested in most everything and felt a deep void. Usually this happens when I'm distant from God and that was part of it but it was also because I was distant from myself and my own voice. I wanted to rediscover this voice or as Kelly Rae has been saying on her blog find myself as my own "secret ingredient".
Throughout this past year I did receive the gumption and desire to pass the LMFT licensure exam to train again for not one but two half-marathons (Cincinnati Flying Pig & Tulsa Route 66)...strive to work more hours at the hospital, pursue client's stories in counseling and aspire to be consistent in my exercise & fitness (August through December "and beyond"). As a mother I was witnessed to a baby becoming a little boy or man, our toddler and listen to him as he begins his journy of language and repetition including expressing himself in fun ways (& not so fun ways).
I was witness to Mark pursuing his reading through the Bible and inspired by his perseverence to blog and continue going even through all the Old Testament names. I could see him change over the Summer and into the Fall.
I still aspire to do many things a year, in fact probably too many things so I am trying to be realistic while at the same time piling it on. God is the most important and I need to make sure to keep it that way. I want to be available to Mark and to Ian and also feel led to continue on in my own journey of fitness and pursuit of another marathon. But this time with cross-training and with better eating habits. My desire is to lose 10lbs over this next year (healthily) and to pursue more knowledge and practice with MFT (summer & fall) while decluttering our home to potentially down-size at some point. I'd love to craft and put creativity first but this isn't the time. I have energy, I have gumption and I'm ready to MOVE.
Are you ready to MOVE? If so, where with what or doing what or just being?
10 Stress Busters
I found this helpful and to be an incentive for me from TodaysMama blog author Theresa Borchard here.
Stress is like dark chocolate. A little of it won’t kill you. In fact, small blocks here and there can be good for you, or at least give you a reason to get of bed in the morning. But chronic and severe stress can damage your body and mind, blocking the fluid communication to and from most organs–especially in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and in the limbic system, the brain’s emotional center. Believe me, you want these two systems–much like the House and Senate–running as smoothly as possible, with low levels of the delinquent stress hormones in your bloodstream. Which is why I have handy some tress busters. I use an average of five a day. Today I’m using all ten. Here they are, and good luck!
1. Simplify.
Cut your to-do list in half. How? Ask yourself this question after every item: Will I die tomorrow if this doesn’t get accomplished? I’m guessing you’ll get a lot of no’s. I’m sure Franklin Covey has a more efficient and elaborate system. But here’s mine: Every morning I immediately jot down my to-do list. Once I experience the first heart palpitation, the list gets cut in half.
2. Prioritize.
Let’s say you’ve got five huge work projects due next week, two Cub Scout commitments you promised your son, your mom’s overdue taxes on your desk, your wife’s 40th birthday celebration to plan, and your sister’s computer to fix. What do you do? You record all the tasks on a sheet of paper or on your computer and you give each one a number between 1 and 10: 10 being the most important (life threatening) to one (stupid bloody thing I signed up for). Start with the 10s. If you never get beyond the 8s, that’s okay!
3. Use pencil, not pen.
If you rely on your to-do list as much as I do, then you’ll want to start using pencil instead of pen. Because one important stress buster is to try to stay as flexible as you can. Things change! And change is not our enemy, even though our brain categorizes it as such. You want to be able to erase a task or reminder at any time, because who the heck knows what your day will be like.
4. Give away your cape.
If you haven’t already guessed by now, you are not a superpower and don’t possess supernatural qualities and capabilities. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to join the race … the human race. Which means surrendering to limitations and conditions–like the number of hours in a day (24) and the amount of time it takes to get from point A to point B. In your car. Not in your bat mobile.
5. Collaborate and cooperate.
There are lots of people out there with to-do lists that look very similar to yours. Why not let them do some of your tasks so that you all don’t have to do them? The moms around me have mastered this concept, as they have set up a babysitting co-op: one mom volunteers to watches a neighbor’s kid and by doing so earns babysitting points that she can redeem when a neighbor watches her kids. In the blogging world, I have begun to collaborate with some other mental-health writers so that we all don’t have to scan the same media outlets for depression-related stories. If I catch something I send it to them, and vice versa. It’s an effective system.
6. Laugh.
Just as chronic and severe stress can damage organic systems in our body, humor can heal. When people laugh, the autonomic nervous system mellows out and the heart is allowed to relax. Laughter can also boost the immune system, as it has been found to increase a person’s ability to fight viruses and foreign cells, and reduce the levels of three stress hormones: cortisol, epinephrine, and dopac. Plus it’s just fun to laugh. And having fun is it’s own stress buster.
7. Exercise.
Exercise relieves stress in several ways. First, cardiovascular workouts stimulate brain chemicals that foster growth of nerve cells. Second, exercise increases the activity of serotonin and/or norepinephrine. Third, a raised heart rate releases endorphins and a hormone known as ANP, which reduces pain, induces euphoria, and helps control the brain’s response to stress and anxiety. You need not to run a marathon or complete an ironman. A quick stroll in the morning or in the evening might be just enough to tell the stress hormones in your blood to scatter.
8. Stop juggling.
I realize some multi-tasking is inevitable in our rushed culture. But do we really have to simultaneously cook dinner, talk to Mom, help with homework, and check e-mail? If you were an excellent waiter or waitress in your past or present, then skip this one. However, if you have trouble chewing gum and walking at the same time like I do, you might try your best to concentrate on one activity at a time.
9. Build boundaries.
Speaking of activities, get some boundaries, ASAP–meaning designate a place and time for certain things so that your brain doesn’t have to wear so many hats at the same time. I thought this was impossible as a mom who works from home until I made myself abide by some rules: computer is off when I’m not working, and computer stays off in the evening and on weekends. My brain adjusted nicely and appreciated the notice of when and where each hat was required, and it actually started to relax a tad.
10. Think globally.
I don’t say this to induce a guilt trip. No, no, no. Because guilt trips compound stress. What I mean here is a simple reminder that compared to other problems in our world today–abject poverty in Somalia or Cambodia–the things that we stress about are pretty minor. In other words, if I shift my perspective a little, I can see that there are far worse dilemmas than my poor royalty figures on a few books. Put another way: Don’t sweat the small stuff, and most of it is small stuff.
Therese J. Borchard writes the daily Beliefnet.com blog Beyond Blue. Her memoir “Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes” is just out, followed by a handsome book of therapy notes called “The Pocket Therapist” in April 2010. Subscribe to Beyond Blue here or visit her at www.ThereseBorchard.com.
Stress is like dark chocolate. A little of it won’t kill you. In fact, small blocks here and there can be good for you, or at least give you a reason to get of bed in the morning. But chronic and severe stress can damage your body and mind, blocking the fluid communication to and from most organs–especially in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and in the limbic system, the brain’s emotional center. Believe me, you want these two systems–much like the House and Senate–running as smoothly as possible, with low levels of the delinquent stress hormones in your bloodstream. Which is why I have handy some tress busters. I use an average of five a day. Today I’m using all ten. Here they are, and good luck!
1. Simplify.
Cut your to-do list in half. How? Ask yourself this question after every item: Will I die tomorrow if this doesn’t get accomplished? I’m guessing you’ll get a lot of no’s. I’m sure Franklin Covey has a more efficient and elaborate system. But here’s mine: Every morning I immediately jot down my to-do list. Once I experience the first heart palpitation, the list gets cut in half.
2. Prioritize.
Let’s say you’ve got five huge work projects due next week, two Cub Scout commitments you promised your son, your mom’s overdue taxes on your desk, your wife’s 40th birthday celebration to plan, and your sister’s computer to fix. What do you do? You record all the tasks on a sheet of paper or on your computer and you give each one a number between 1 and 10: 10 being the most important (life threatening) to one (stupid bloody thing I signed up for). Start with the 10s. If you never get beyond the 8s, that’s okay!
3. Use pencil, not pen.
If you rely on your to-do list as much as I do, then you’ll want to start using pencil instead of pen. Because one important stress buster is to try to stay as flexible as you can. Things change! And change is not our enemy, even though our brain categorizes it as such. You want to be able to erase a task or reminder at any time, because who the heck knows what your day will be like.
4. Give away your cape.
If you haven’t already guessed by now, you are not a superpower and don’t possess supernatural qualities and capabilities. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to join the race … the human race. Which means surrendering to limitations and conditions–like the number of hours in a day (24) and the amount of time it takes to get from point A to point B. In your car. Not in your bat mobile.
5. Collaborate and cooperate.
There are lots of people out there with to-do lists that look very similar to yours. Why not let them do some of your tasks so that you all don’t have to do them? The moms around me have mastered this concept, as they have set up a babysitting co-op: one mom volunteers to watches a neighbor’s kid and by doing so earns babysitting points that she can redeem when a neighbor watches her kids. In the blogging world, I have begun to collaborate with some other mental-health writers so that we all don’t have to scan the same media outlets for depression-related stories. If I catch something I send it to them, and vice versa. It’s an effective system.
6. Laugh.
Just as chronic and severe stress can damage organic systems in our body, humor can heal. When people laugh, the autonomic nervous system mellows out and the heart is allowed to relax. Laughter can also boost the immune system, as it has been found to increase a person’s ability to fight viruses and foreign cells, and reduce the levels of three stress hormones: cortisol, epinephrine, and dopac. Plus it’s just fun to laugh. And having fun is it’s own stress buster.
7. Exercise.
Exercise relieves stress in several ways. First, cardiovascular workouts stimulate brain chemicals that foster growth of nerve cells. Second, exercise increases the activity of serotonin and/or norepinephrine. Third, a raised heart rate releases endorphins and a hormone known as ANP, which reduces pain, induces euphoria, and helps control the brain’s response to stress and anxiety. You need not to run a marathon or complete an ironman. A quick stroll in the morning or in the evening might be just enough to tell the stress hormones in your blood to scatter.
8. Stop juggling.
I realize some multi-tasking is inevitable in our rushed culture. But do we really have to simultaneously cook dinner, talk to Mom, help with homework, and check e-mail? If you were an excellent waiter or waitress in your past or present, then skip this one. However, if you have trouble chewing gum and walking at the same time like I do, you might try your best to concentrate on one activity at a time.
9. Build boundaries.
Speaking of activities, get some boundaries, ASAP–meaning designate a place and time for certain things so that your brain doesn’t have to wear so many hats at the same time. I thought this was impossible as a mom who works from home until I made myself abide by some rules: computer is off when I’m not working, and computer stays off in the evening and on weekends. My brain adjusted nicely and appreciated the notice of when and where each hat was required, and it actually started to relax a tad.
10. Think globally.
I don’t say this to induce a guilt trip. No, no, no. Because guilt trips compound stress. What I mean here is a simple reminder that compared to other problems in our world today–abject poverty in Somalia or Cambodia–the things that we stress about are pretty minor. In other words, if I shift my perspective a little, I can see that there are far worse dilemmas than my poor royalty figures on a few books. Put another way: Don’t sweat the small stuff, and most of it is small stuff.
Therese J. Borchard writes the daily Beliefnet.com blog Beyond Blue. Her memoir “Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes” is just out, followed by a handsome book of therapy notes called “The Pocket Therapist” in April 2010. Subscribe to Beyond Blue here or visit her at www.ThereseBorchard.com.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Stories to Show & Tell
STORIES
2010
* Ian's birthday
* Christmas gifts - Ian's favorites
* Ian's "Sleep" Game & Overdose
* Ian's big boy bed
* Resolve - not wanting to psych myself - best shape now
- pre-baby body is back
* New Routine
* Christmas storage - revamped
* Ian's Clothes
Monday, January 3, 2011
WORD for 2011
My Word for the year is RESOLVE...meaning to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine (to do something or to follow a course of action); to make up one's mind, AND to practice a firmness of purpose or intent.
I plan, pray and seek to work towards being purposeful and determined to stay fit and active the entire year of 2011 (training 3 different seasons, working towards a triathlon and another mini at some point).
I have a resolve - a determination to fully be present in the activities I do, which means saying "no" to those activities and meetings that I cannot fully give my attention to.
WORDS from the past:
2006 - ??
2007 - Simplify
2008 - Grace
2009 - Give
2010 - Balance
2011 - Resolve
I plan, pray and seek to work towards being purposeful and determined to stay fit and active the entire year of 2011 (training 3 different seasons, working towards a triathlon and another mini at some point).
I have a resolve - a determination to fully be present in the activities I do, which means saying "no" to those activities and meetings that I cannot fully give my attention to.
WORDS from the past:
2006 - ??
2007 - Simplify
2008 - Grace
2009 - Give
2010 - Balance
2011 - Resolve
Saturday, December 18, 2010
2010 Christmas Letter
This year flew by with several notable moments. Kara passed her licensure test for Marriage & family therapy…ran 2 mini-marathons…and turned 30. Mark helped with cross-country again and led several new groups at CCJ while juggling everything else. We saw another Ohio State home game which was awesome and found that Ian’s explosion into language was more than exciting for us. Ian will turn two soon, very soon and loves to count. Occasionally he skips 4 or 9 but gets up to 10 and is hilarious doing so. One of his favorite words is “careful” or in his pronunciation “cawful”.
Between “pes” or please and “tank-cu” or thank you his words are becoming more clear. We do hope that this year has brought joy to you and your family in one way or another. It is trying times but we’re always persevering. While working with people is wonderful and exciting, it is also unpredictable and stressful. We’re continuing to find balance and acknowledge our limits.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Working All Week - Full-Time
This past week was a unique experience for me. I worked 8-10 hours a day at Memorial Hospital & Healthcare Center in my Social Work role with discharge planning. It is always unpredictable and challenging. There are parts to it that are very much fun and some of the most interesting conversations (both with coworkers and with patients and their families. Sometimes there are tasks you do that you honestly do not know the first thing about but have to learn as you go whereas, there are tasks you could do with your eyes closed and says the same phrase over and over again. Either way it's interesting.
This picture shows my hospital office work space.
What I am most proud of this week is not only learning more but getting up at 5am to workout and keep my resolve to stay fit. I had my share of sweets this week now doubt but I know at least I was burning calories early, early in the morning! It's a whole 'nother world that early in the morning and I found it peaceful though exhausting. By Thursday morning I was good to go and ready to begin working out. An ice storm kept me from working out Thursday morning but Friday morning came and I was ok. My body is ready to go bed by Ian's bedtime (8:30pm) but I think I do accomplish more. It has been a good experience and in reality...I really, really hope that I can keep the 5am wake-up time and make it manageable for our family routine. Not going to bed with Mark is different and kind of sad but I just can't stay up as late as him - it's not doable.
To give you a glimpse into my other professional world...This is my Marriage & Family Therapy work space at the church.
This picture shows my hospital office work space.
What I am most proud of this week is not only learning more but getting up at 5am to workout and keep my resolve to stay fit. I had my share of sweets this week now doubt but I know at least I was burning calories early, early in the morning! It's a whole 'nother world that early in the morning and I found it peaceful though exhausting. By Thursday morning I was good to go and ready to begin working out. An ice storm kept me from working out Thursday morning but Friday morning came and I was ok. My body is ready to go bed by Ian's bedtime (8:30pm) but I think I do accomplish more. It has been a good experience and in reality...I really, really hope that I can keep the 5am wake-up time and make it manageable for our family routine. Not going to bed with Mark is different and kind of sad but I just can't stay up as late as him - it's not doable.
To give you a glimpse into my other professional world...This is my Marriage & Family Therapy work space at the church.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
My Resolve....
It always seems that once I set my mind on something that my resolve at some point is tested. I know this is what all people face at some point, but it is different when it is you, yourself.
I have a resolve to remain fit throughout the winter season and have a plan...my plan has to be flexible and I'm work 8-10 hour days at the hospital this week so fitting in time to exercise is hard and demanding. I did 5:15 this morning and worked until 5:30pm. I am spent. How do full-time peope do it?
I have a resolve to keep doing the "December Daily" pictures and photo collages but am quite behind on this project - alas but I'm still taking notable pictures so it's a matter of downloading, picking out pictures and placing them into collages.
I have a resolve of making Christmas simpler, though am finding myself crunched for time...time for wrapping, time for sending out letters or packages...
It will get done, it's just a matter of when and how.
I have a resolve to remain fit throughout the winter season and have a plan...my plan has to be flexible and I'm work 8-10 hour days at the hospital this week so fitting in time to exercise is hard and demanding. I did 5:15 this morning and worked until 5:30pm. I am spent. How do full-time peope do it?
I have a resolve to keep doing the "December Daily" pictures and photo collages but am quite behind on this project - alas but I'm still taking notable pictures so it's a matter of downloading, picking out pictures and placing them into collages.
I have a resolve of making Christmas simpler, though am finding myself crunched for time...time for wrapping, time for sending out letters or packages...
It will get done, it's just a matter of when and how.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
December Daily - 5th
This week will be a busy one so I want to get the 5th collage up.
I am between these two collages for this day (beautiful & solemn center or fun toes center)...
December 5th
Stories: sick & solemn, bubbles in juice, watching for daddy, SNOW!, watch Thomas the Train with the pillow
December 5th
Stories: sick & solemn, bubbles in juice, watching for daddy, SNOW!, watch Thomas the Train with the pillow
FINAL VOTE result done on facebook will be noted here.
I am between these two collages for this day (beautiful & solemn center or fun toes center)...
December 5th
Stories: sick & solemn, bubbles in juice, watching for daddy, SNOW!, watch Thomas the Train with the pillow
December 5th
Stories: sick & solemn, bubbles in juice, watching for daddy, SNOW!, watch Thomas the Train with the pillow
FINAL VOTE result done on facebook will be noted here.
December Daily 3rd & 4th
December 3rd
"sick, cuddly, some fun, wrapping, invitations & conversations with a kitty"
This day started out with Ian having a 101 fever and then going in and out of "feverness". He stayed home with mom & dad and really laid around most of the day but you can still see that he was somewhat himself with those faces and poses. :) We got his birthday invitations around and I stayed up late wrapping the majority of gifts we are giving.
December 4th
Tannenbaum Days with friend Jill & making chocolate-dipped pretzels! This day was most fun with finding new discoveries and new shops in our town. Poor Ian was still sick but enjoyed the company we had and did the best he could.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
December Daily
December 1st
"Yay"; Tigger riding the train; "ouwey knee mommy"; reading Merry Christmas Maisy
December 2nd
"Putting Up the Christmas Tree"
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
New Links
A couple of links I don't want to forget...
The Painted Hive - an awesome Starburt Twig Wreath
Someday Crafts - where the writer will get to this craft someday (LOVE THE PREMISE!)
The Painted Hive - an awesome Starburt Twig Wreath
Someday Crafts - where the writer will get to this craft someday (LOVE THE PREMISE!)
Christmas Storage
Q & A from Ali Edwards Blog: You often write about storing your holiday-stuff all together. That means not only decoration but also albums, books and much more. I’m a little curious how your store all these things. In boxes labeled and with a list maybe? And another question came to my mind: do you toss away and sort out things when unpacking the holiday boxes? Or how do you manage keeping the amount of holiday stuff manageable?
AE & my agreements: I’m a big fan of tubs. Ali Edwards has these holiday tubs (and everything you see in the photo above) is stored in her garage. Everything else holiday goes into these tubs at the end of December: movies, ornaments, December Daily albums, Christmas books and other decorations – it all comes back out again the following December. I don’t have any lists to go along with these tubs – just a label on the outside that says “Xmas.”
In addition to putting it all away, I’m also a big fan of only having things that we really love. Over the years we’ve collected things that are just extra – extra decorations, etc that I’m not choosing to pull out of the tubs for one reason or another. This year one of my goals as I pull stuff out of the tubs is to have a box on hand for donations. I’ve attempted to do that at the end of the season before but usually by then I’m so over the stuff that I just end up putting it all away in the tubs (even the things that we might not really love and enjoy).
I would LOVE TO have these!! Ornament Storage Boxes from Amazon (one stacked on top of the other on the right side of the photo). They are pricey but they would be really nice and secure and sturdy OR something like them. My plan would be for one to be for Ian and one will be for Mark & I’s ornaments.
I really don’t want any more than this amount of tubs (4 tubs + the 2 ornament boxes).
This is really a transition year for us in terms of decorations. I’m taking it slowly as I pull out each thing and thinking more about where (and if) I want to have it here in our new place.
This is really a transition year for us in terms of decorations. I’m taking it slowly as I pull out each thing and thinking more about where (and if) I want to have it here in our new place.
Do you have a holiday storage system? Any favorite tips to share?
What I am Telling Myself Now...
* This winter I WILL stay active (active winter plan)
* This winter I WILL not schedule any un-needed or un-wanted activities
* This winter I WILL NOT be a glutton and overeat on foods that I don't have that often (i.e. tapioca pudding, pumpkin pie, pie in general, truffles, candy canes, sugar cookies, fudge, cheesecake, pumkpin anything, sweet potato anything)
Plan Ahead for an Active Winter Season
by American Running Association
Check your gear. Now is the time to inspect your shoes; don't stop at checking for wear, but prod, poke, and twist to be sure they are not becoming unstable. Shoe materials, such as heelcounters, can begin to break down before you can actually see anything wrong.
Check your clothes to make sure they will still fit when you need them.
Waistbands losing their elasticity? Any shirts that have shrunk enough to be a bit tight? Any socks that stay stiff even after laundering? Put them on the inactive list before they cause problems. Is your watchband cracking? Replace it now before it snaps and flies off during a workout.
Even though you want to be less active physically, you can still be involved with your favorite sport. Volunteer to help out at a race or on one of the committees that make your sport possible. If you have only a few hours on odd occasions, remember many events begin with something as simple as stuffing envelopes, and somebody has to do it. These activities will keep you in touch with other folks who have the same interests as you have.
Choose one or two goals for the coming year.
If you compete, now is the time to browse the coming year's race calendar. Setting valuable objectives is both science and art. There is science in planning the execution, but making your goals achievable but challenging, sustainable but fresh and interesting is an art that takes constant practice.
Make a list of experiments to try when spring comes round again. There are suggestions you've read about that could make you fitter, faster, and stronger. Have you tried carbohydrate supplements during training, or hill workouts for leg strength? How about trying bike intervals instead of track intervals to reduce wear and tear on your legs and feet? Write down your list and then set priorities to try things one at a time, because if you make more than one change and you improve, you won't know what did the trick.
How about putting a little more adventure into your life by trying something new; maybe combine something different with a vacation. Running, cycling, and weight training may be the foundation of your activities, but how would you shape up and enjoy a completely new experience, such as rock climbing, or white water canoeing? Try half a dozen tennis lessons, or golf lessons. You may have an aptitude that you haven't yet discovered. You won't know if you don't try.
Catch up on your reading.
If you have a pile of magazines and newsletters, and a few self-improvement books waiting to be read, now's the time. If you don't catch up now you never will, because when the days grow longer and the sun climbs higher you will have a choice between reading about it and going out to do it; which will you choose?
Don't forget your head.
You spend time reading workout schedules, exercise routines, and all that physical stuff. This is a good time to soak up a little philosophy and psychology. Exercise, fitness, and sports and athletic competition carry over into the rest of your life, because all activities, physical and mental, take motivation, goal setting, planning, dedication, and a desire to do your best as a route to self-esteem. George Sheehan was the master of relating the thoughts of the great thinkers and writers to sports, especially running. Fitness and performance are worthwhile as far as physical health benefits are concerned, but their greatest value is in helping us to be better people, so that we develop the skills that really matter: relationships, love, family, and friends. Winter is a good time to browse good books and give your mind some workouts.
* This winter I WILL not schedule any un-needed or un-wanted activities
* This winter I WILL NOT be a glutton and overeat on foods that I don't have that often (i.e. tapioca pudding, pumpkin pie, pie in general, truffles, candy canes, sugar cookies, fudge, cheesecake, pumkpin anything, sweet potato anything)
Plan Ahead for an Active Winter Season
by American Running Association
Check your gear. Now is the time to inspect your shoes; don't stop at checking for wear, but prod, poke, and twist to be sure they are not becoming unstable. Shoe materials, such as heelcounters, can begin to break down before you can actually see anything wrong.
Check your clothes to make sure they will still fit when you need them.
Waistbands losing their elasticity? Any shirts that have shrunk enough to be a bit tight? Any socks that stay stiff even after laundering? Put them on the inactive list before they cause problems. Is your watchband cracking? Replace it now before it snaps and flies off during a workout.
Even though you want to be less active physically, you can still be involved with your favorite sport. Volunteer to help out at a race or on one of the committees that make your sport possible. If you have only a few hours on odd occasions, remember many events begin with something as simple as stuffing envelopes, and somebody has to do it. These activities will keep you in touch with other folks who have the same interests as you have.
Choose one or two goals for the coming year.
For me (Kara) I look at what directions do I want to go...marathon? triathlon? or helping someone else train?
If you compete, now is the time to browse the coming year's race calendar. Setting valuable objectives is both science and art. There is science in planning the execution, but making your goals achievable but challenging, sustainable but fresh and interesting is an art that takes constant practice.
Make a list of experiments to try when spring comes round again. There are suggestions you've read about that could make you fitter, faster, and stronger. Have you tried carbohydrate supplements during training, or hill workouts for leg strength? How about trying bike intervals instead of track intervals to reduce wear and tear on your legs and feet? Write down your list and then set priorities to try things one at a time, because if you make more than one change and you improve, you won't know what did the trick.
How about putting a little more adventure into your life by trying something new; maybe combine something different with a vacation. Running, cycling, and weight training may be the foundation of your activities, but how would you shape up and enjoy a completely new experience, such as rock climbing, or white water canoeing? Try half a dozen tennis lessons, or golf lessons. You may have an aptitude that you haven't yet discovered. You won't know if you don't try.
Catch up on your reading.
If you have a pile of magazines and newsletters, and a few self-improvement books waiting to be read, now's the time. If you don't catch up now you never will, because when the days grow longer and the sun climbs higher you will have a choice between reading about it and going out to do it; which will you choose?
Don't forget your head.
You spend time reading workout schedules, exercise routines, and all that physical stuff. This is a good time to soak up a little philosophy and psychology. Exercise, fitness, and sports and athletic competition carry over into the rest of your life, because all activities, physical and mental, take motivation, goal setting, planning, dedication, and a desire to do your best as a route to self-esteem. George Sheehan was the master of relating the thoughts of the great thinkers and writers to sports, especially running. Fitness and performance are worthwhile as far as physical health benefits are concerned, but their greatest value is in helping us to be better people, so that we develop the skills that really matter: relationships, love, family, and friends. Winter is a good time to browse good books and give your mind some workouts.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Today's Mama Holiday Wish List Meme & Giveaway
Mama’s Holiday Wish List Meme
TodaysMama and GameStop are giving away a sleighful of gifts this holiday season and to enter I’m sharing this meme with you.
1. What is your holiday wish for your family? To be safe and fell Christ most present
2. What is your Christmas morning tradition? We're still working on this one but as of now waking up as usual, fixing my Dad's famous pancakes, and then opening presents.
3. If you could ask Santa for one, completely decadent wish for yourself, what would it be?
The Canon Rebel XS digital SLR camera + Canon EF 75-300mm telephoto zoom lens - salivating...
4. How do you make the holidays special without spending any money?
Listening to Christmas music on Pandora on my computer, and sitting around the lit Christmas tree with no other lights on in the house except for candles - very soothing + time spent playing with Ian now that he will begin to "get" Christmas.
5. What games did you play with your family growing up? We played Euchre until late at night, Agrivation with marbles and Hide'n Go Seek with cousins.
6. What holiday tradition have you carried on from your own childhood? I have carried on purchasing an ornament for my child each year...
7. Where would you go for a Christmas-away-from-home trip? I would totally go oversees to England with family to spend with a missionary couple we know...or Germany. Alas, just some place with laughs...
8. Check out GameStop and tell us, what are the three top items on your GameStop Wish List this year?
1) a Wii
2) Call of Duty (Black Ops) for Wii {for Mark}
3) Wii Sports
TodaysMama and GameStop are giving away a sleighful of gifts this holiday season and to enter I’m sharing this meme with you.
1. What is your holiday wish for your family? To be safe and fell Christ most present
2. What is your Christmas morning tradition? We're still working on this one but as of now waking up as usual, fixing my Dad's famous pancakes, and then opening presents.
3. If you could ask Santa for one, completely decadent wish for yourself, what would it be?
The Canon Rebel XS digital SLR camera + Canon EF 75-300mm telephoto zoom lens - salivating...
4. How do you make the holidays special without spending any money?
Listening to Christmas music on Pandora on my computer, and sitting around the lit Christmas tree with no other lights on in the house except for candles - very soothing + time spent playing with Ian now that he will begin to "get" Christmas.
5. What games did you play with your family growing up? We played Euchre until late at night, Agrivation with marbles and Hide'n Go Seek with cousins.
6. What holiday tradition have you carried on from your own childhood? I have carried on purchasing an ornament for my child each year...
7. Where would you go for a Christmas-away-from-home trip? I would totally go oversees to England with family to spend with a missionary couple we know...or Germany. Alas, just some place with laughs...
8. Check out GameStop and tell us, what are the three top items on your GameStop Wish List this year?
1) a Wii
2) Call of Duty (Black Ops) for Wii {for Mark}
3) Wii Sports
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Black Friday Plan
Black Friday Shopping PrePlan
We will be in northern Indiana with my folks for Black Friday so I'm forming a plan. At least some of the stores have begun to list their sales which is soooooo nice. I plan to get up really early (leave house by 5-5:30am??) and head to Warsaw &/or South Bend with my dad and probably my mom. Ian and Mark will hang at home.
Places:
Warsaw, Indiana
Mishawaka, Indiana ?
Stores:
* Walmart
* Kohls ?
* Amazon.com
* Barnes & Nobles ?
* Target ?
Items Considered (for self or others):
* Pull-over fleece or Jacket $5 (Walmart)
* Base Camp Fleece Jackets $7 Walmart)
* 2-piece pajamas, sleepwear set $4 (Walmart) toddler
* 7" Digital Picture Frame $29 (Walmart)
* Beautyrest 7-Piece Bedding Set $34.88 (Walmart)
* 10-Piece Black Frame Set $7 (Walmart)
* DVDs for CCJ Superbowl Sunday Prize Drawings $5-$7
* Ian to pick out a Toy for Toys for Tots (excited about this one)
* Farberware Bakeware (we need cookie sheets & 9x9 pans) 50% off @ KOHL'S
* HoMedics Massage Cushion $59 KOHL'S (for me? -- probably not but it's a nice thought)
* The Big 10-Pc Wooden Frame Set $14.99 @ KOHL'S (again for me but probably not)
* Marshmallow Raider (2) $9.99 @ KOHL'S or nephews (shhh...don't tell)
We will be in northern Indiana with my folks for Black Friday so I'm forming a plan. At least some of the stores have begun to list their sales which is soooooo nice. I plan to get up really early (leave house by 5-5:30am??) and head to Warsaw &/or South Bend with my dad and probably my mom. Ian and Mark will hang at home.
Places:
Warsaw, Indiana
Mishawaka, Indiana ?
Stores:
* Walmart
* Kohls ?
* Amazon.com
* Barnes & Nobles ?
* Target ?
Items Considered (for self or others):
* Pull-over fleece or Jacket $5 (Walmart)
* Base Camp Fleece Jackets $7 Walmart)
* 2-piece pajamas, sleepwear set $4 (Walmart) toddler
* 7" Digital Picture Frame $29 (Walmart)
* Beautyrest 7-Piece Bedding Set $34.88 (Walmart)
* 10-Piece Black Frame Set $7 (Walmart)
* DVDs for CCJ Superbowl Sunday Prize Drawings $5-$7
* Ian to pick out a Toy for Toys for Tots (excited about this one)
* Farberware Bakeware (we need cookie sheets & 9x9 pans) 50% off @ KOHL'S
* HoMedics Massage Cushion $59 KOHL'S (for me? -- probably not but it's a nice thought)
* The Big 10-Pc Wooden Frame Set $14.99 @ KOHL'S (again for me but probably not)
* Marshmallow Raider (2) $9.99 @ KOHL'S or nephews (shhh...don't tell)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Route 66 Half-Marathon
A NEW PERSONAL RECORD: 2:00:55
This was a beautiful morning 64 degrees with a bit of a wind and lots of fun! I was expecting it to be at least 50s or worst 30s. It was a slightly hilly course around neighborhoods and city streets and then branched out into the riverside area which is beautiful, over a couple of bridges where the wind kind of pummeled you and then flats. The worst part was between 10-12 for me though - it was flat (so I could really feel my legs) and there was a wind against us at all times. I lost focus and dropped to a 10:00-10:15 minute mile and that killed my attempt to break 2 hours for the race but I did finish out strong at mile 13 and did as well I could have. It was wonderful and not really painful - more of a mental thing.
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