Today thinking about running, biking or resting...plus 3 counseling sessions (luckily very low caseload day). I was reading all of these running forums about what other runners are doing especially those who got sick right in the middle of marathon training like I am.
Conversation on Facebook
STATUS - runners: run with strep throat...rest?...bike?....just exhausted still, luckily only 3 sessions today, I think I can do that
Sara Priest West REST! (Sara's a friend from college who I played basketball with who is now a full-fledged runner training for her first marathon and a speed-demon in my book)
Kara Messmore here's the deal - this is day 5 I haven't done a thing -- Friday: the Conference, Sat...I rested, Sun...big rest, Mon...big rest, Tuesday (today) ? do you think that is too long of a rest? I have a 15 or 12 mile run on thursday
Sara Priest West I would skip today, try to do something light on Sunday morning and you should be fine.
Kara Messmore hhhmmmmm I'll consider, I do want to get over this, just not sure with the weather changing again that I want to let go of doing something while it's in the 70's - the thought of running those miles on THursday in the 40s - doesn't seem all that doable now
---------------------------------------------------
Well after this conversation I took a shower and got dressed for work and I am EXHAUSTED. So new realization, I need to take it easy and ease into it. I could see myself biking today. I'm just really bummed that the weather is going to turn cold AGAIN and that my supposed 12-15 mile run on Thursday would be in the 40's. I work on Friday and am on-call all weekend which is a big bummer since that is when I'd do my run so maybe Saturday after being on-call??? Maybe??
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
To ALL the sick people...
It is not a regular deal that I get sick but when I get sick, I feel like I really get sick. Of course any one person could probably say the same thing but I get down and then realize that strength of those people who are continually fighting a disease or fighting the side effects of medications that help them with their primary disease. I have so much admiration for YOU. I am weak and am definitely one of those who likes to be pampered. Poor Mark - but he has Ian to work with right now. Thank you Mark...it means a lot.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
22 miler *awe* *sigh* yes!
So I might be a little obsessed with this Garmin Connect thing....I ended up having to do a little loop in between switching biking friends and thought "how will this show up on my route"? Anywho 22 miles done.
Thoughts before a LONG Run
These are my thoughts before a LONG run...you may be surprised:
* I don't want to do it
* I'm nervous
* what route would be best
* will I have the strenght?
* it will take me how long? almost 4 hours? or more?!!!
* what am I thinking that is insane!?
* well, what if I do it later - can't do it later, just do it Kara
* well, the sun will be out
* can I just go back to sleep right now? NO!
* did I eat too much or too little?
* will I have enough fluids?
* will my shoes be able to make it all the way through?
* this is going to hurt, oh my legs they hurt already
* wait a second, this is what I want to do!
* I know I will feel awesome afterwards!
* the birds are chirping!!
* I can do this! God can do this - He can do this through me!
* if I do this, it will be a testament to His strength and not mine
* hmmmmmm how many GU's will it take...4?
* what is the flatest route I can run or that can have a bike accompany me?
* it is just 1 mile at a time (2 miles for every water stop)
* every 4 or so miles for GU
* what is the best way to dress - 45/50 degrees to 65 degrees while I run
--- Nike shorts (cold legs will get warmer)
--- Flying Pig Mini-Marathon short sleeve running shirt (a little cold for sleeveless running shirt)
--- maroon long-sleeve wick-away shirt (holds cell phone too & to keep warm)
--- hat (yellow or white?)
--- sunglasses (el cheapo pair)
--- Garmin Forerunning 205 watch
--- 26.2 Chicaband
--- running socks & 2 types of shoes (old running shoes phrasing them out & new running shoes) *yellow tag on old pair of running shoes is my "chip" from the Tulsa Half-Marathon in November 2010 where I almost broke 2 hours
--- Body Glide Anti-Chafe
* ipod shuffle? or no ipod shuffle? (well you know God has been telling you lately or you sense He is telling you to turn it off) so NO - woah, never have ran without it
* I don't want to do it
* I'm nervous
* what route would be best
* will I have the strenght?
* it will take me how long? almost 4 hours? or more?!!!
* what am I thinking that is insane!?
* well, what if I do it later - can't do it later, just do it Kara
* well, the sun will be out
* can I just go back to sleep right now? NO!
* did I eat too much or too little?
* will I have enough fluids?
* will my shoes be able to make it all the way through?
* this is going to hurt, oh my legs they hurt already
* wait a second, this is what I want to do!
* I know I will feel awesome afterwards!
* the birds are chirping!!
* I can do this! God can do this - He can do this through me!
* if I do this, it will be a testament to His strength and not mine
* hmmmmmm how many GU's will it take...4?
* what is the flatest route I can run or that can have a bike accompany me?
* it is just 1 mile at a time (2 miles for every water stop)
* every 4 or so miles for GU
* what is the best way to dress - 45/50 degrees to 65 degrees while I run
--- Nike shorts (cold legs will get warmer)
--- Flying Pig Mini-Marathon short sleeve running shirt (a little cold for sleeveless running shirt)
--- maroon long-sleeve wick-away shirt (holds cell phone too & to keep warm)
--- hat (yellow or white?)
--- sunglasses (el cheapo pair)
--- Garmin Forerunning 205 watch
--- 26.2 Chicaband
--- running socks & 2 types of shoes (old running shoes phrasing them out & new running shoes) *yellow tag on old pair of running shoes is my "chip" from the Tulsa Half-Marathon in November 2010 where I almost broke 2 hours
--- Body Glide Anti-Chafe
* ipod shuffle? or no ipod shuffle? (well you know God has been telling you lately or you sense He is telling you to turn it off) so NO - woah, never have ran without it
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Allowing Myself....Right Now
I'm allowing myself to stay up past my bedtime because I just feel like it. Allowing myself to wonder what tomorrow holds, what this upcoming 22 mile runs holds...hoping friends will come alongside me to support me. I'm allowing myself to give myself grace for those little vices I fight daily. But now I think I will allow myself to go to bed. Yes, indeed I will.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Crop for Kicks & Christmas Card Punch Collage Project
This year instead of me signing up for Crop for the Cure in Evansville (although for a good cause), I decided to stay home and save money. Candy, my very fabulous friend decided to go along in my adventure. Candy received "door prizes" about every hour...hence her facebook statuses of "I Won Again!" Here are some pictures...
this is Ian "helping" me out at the CVS to print photos instantly before our Crop
this shows my crafting area (and yes I have gotten rid of a lot but as I told my premarital couples in our class this past Saturday...I spent & bargain-hunted...a lot throughout our first 5 years of marriage for crafty stuff)
this is the album cover for the "Christmas Card Punch Collage Project"
title page quotes Ali Edwards from this post and I add, "From present years until 2007 I had kept cards but apparently through our move from Louisville, KY to Jasper, IN I did not keep Christmas cards from years before. Beginning in 2004 we wrote Christmas newsletters and have placed them in those years. This is definitely a work-in-progress."
PAGES
2010 1 *note I misplaced the newsletters I received :S
2010 2
2009 1
2009 2
2008 - this page has an interesting story, I couldn't find many cards at all and figured out that in Christmas 2008 Ian was born -- hence I'm not sure where I put the many cards and newsletters I received throughout that season
2007 - the big white squares with the signatures were from my basketball girls
2006 - couldn't find cards so this begins our newsletters
2005
2004 - note the cards on the write - they were the last Christmas cards we received from Mark's Grandpa Bruce, his writing is precious to us
this is Ian "helping" me out at the CVS to print photos instantly before our Crop
this shows my crafting area (and yes I have gotten rid of a lot but as I told my premarital couples in our class this past Saturday...I spent & bargain-hunted...a lot throughout our first 5 years of marriage for crafty stuff)
this is the album cover for the "Christmas Card Punch Collage Project"
title page quotes Ali Edwards from this post and I add, "From present years until 2007 I had kept cards but apparently through our move from Louisville, KY to Jasper, IN I did not keep Christmas cards from years before. Beginning in 2004 we wrote Christmas newsletters and have placed them in those years. This is definitely a work-in-progress."PAGES
2010 1 *note I misplaced the newsletters I received :S
2010 2
2009 1
2009 2
2008 - this page has an interesting story, I couldn't find many cards at all and figured out that in Christmas 2008 Ian was born -- hence I'm not sure where I put the many cards and newsletters I received throughout that season
2007 - the big white squares with the signatures were from my basketball girls
2006 - couldn't find cards so this begins our newsletters
2005
2004 - note the cards on the write - they were the last Christmas cards we received from Mark's Grandpa Bruce, his writing is precious to us
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Ian's Bargaining Skillz
So the boy has talent...he begins with a *sigh* then gruffly & sternly says, "Mommy, me have juice!" Mommy says, "No...not now it is too late." He tips his head slightly and in the most loving voice says, "Mommy, peese juice?"
Mommy says, "Sweetie, no it is too late." Which promptly is followed after by a soft but excited voice of "milk!!???" with his head slightly tilted my way. Mommy says, "yes Ian that is ok." He marches to the refrigerator for his milk as he proudly just negotiated his latest bargain.
Nurture Project
Nurture Project (LOVE THIS)
I have found that with working with various clients (especially mothers) that we have bought into this notion in our society that we cannot take time for ourselves or that somehow we are to do this solely on our own.
Nurturing You: Clipboard Project
As a busy mama – I’m sure the notion of “me time” either make you roll your eyes, burst into laughter…or tears?!! We mamas put our own needs on hold to meet the needs of everyone around us…and that can leave us burned out, frustrated and cranky!
I went to a parenting talk a year ago and what I came away with from it was this – if our ‘cup’ is empty (ie we are not filling ourselves up with the things we need to be happy), then we have nothing to spill out and give to those around us. We need to keep filling our own cup to be able to pour out into everyone else’s.
Since adding a third child to the mix, my cup has definitely been empty (more like a stone dry well actually!) and I keep going back to what I heard in the course…that I need to fill my cup. I need to carve out time for feeding my soul. This doesn’t need to be a huge amount of time on a weekly basis (that would be nice, but lets be realistic!), it could be a 10 minute meditation each day, it could be a long hot bubble bath once a week, it could be a monthly afternoon out with a friend. I love to be creative, and my natural high comes from making something out of nothing with my own two hands (and perhaps the help of a sewing machine!), so for me – I want to make time to pursue my creative fantasies (fixing holes in children’s pants does.not.count) – to do what I love for the sake of just doing it because I LOVE IT! Whether you love sewing, gardening, cooking, shopping…you know what feed your soul and I’m telling you – you need to make time for it!
To follow through with my wild notions of nurturing myself I need an actual plan to do this. I must choose and work to carve out the time – otherwise sneaky old regular life gets in the way of cup filling efforts. Luckily, my husband is on board with this plan (perhaps in the hopes I’ll become less cranky) – if you have small children at home all day every day then you need to enlist the support of someone to give you some alone time. Or, during school or nap times, wedge some cup-filling in there for you instead of cramming work/cleaning/cooking/washing into every free minute. Shiny happy mama = shiny happy family (you know it’s true)!
Most days I’m not even sure what day it is, so I’ve made a pretty little reminder clipboard for my nurturing plans. It’s propped up against my mirror where I’ll see it every day, and I can make a date/plans with myself on a slip of paper and keep it on the board for that week. Each week I will find the time to do one nice thing with myself – and once done I can switch the paper out with my following weeks plan. You can make one too! Yeah! Lets make 2011 the year where our cups are full, our families enjoy the splashings and we truly love and care for ourselves…wishing you all good things for this new year!
Emily
Nurture time reminder clipboard
Supplies:
Mini clipboard (office supply stores carry these)
Acrylic paint & foam brush
Paper (think scrapbook, gift-wrap, hand-made, magazine pages)
Mod podge/gel medium (or any white glue)
Ribbon or lace
Stickers, tags, fun things to embellish with.
Steps:
Cover all or part of the clipboard with your papers. You can make a collage of papers, or use one special piece. Paint the glue onto the clipboard to stick the paper down on, and then coat the paper in another layer of your glue.
Once the paper is dry, paint the remaining portion of the clipboard with 2-3 layers of acrylic paint (I simply lifted the metal clip to paint underneath it).
Add a strip of ribbon or lace using the glue.
Choose a word such as ‘nurture’, ‘nourish’, ‘breathe’, ‘my time’ to serve as a reminder to yourself!
Decorate the clipboard with any stickers or other fun things to make it your happy place.
*on the back of the clipboard I glued a library pocket to hold ‘ideas’ – then each week I can choose an idea from the pocket, and add to it as I feel inspired.
Some simple and (mostly!) inexpensive nurturing ideas:
Have a bubble bath
Read a magazine in bed
Take a solo trip to the library
Play with some watercolour paints
Visit a garden
Treat yourself to a nutritious meal at a favorite cafe
Download a meditation online, lay down and relaxxxx
Lay outside on a blanket and watch the clouds
Attend a class that you’ve always been meaning to try
Write a list of things you are grateful for
Receive a massage
Doodle with crayons
Sit in a park and people watch
Visit a museum or art gallery
Go for an indoor swim
Read a chapter of a book
Plan a girls night with some friends – organize and send invites
Have a home facial
Go for a walk and take photos of things you see
Take a self portrait
Create a visual soul collage from magazine pictures
Organize your wardrobe
Burn oils and listen to music
Write a card/letter to a friend
Plant something in your garden or in a pot
Phone your best friend for a chat
Write some goals in your journal
Try a new recipe
Set your timer for half an hour of crafty time
Give yourself a hand massage & manicure
Take yourself out for coffee/hot chocolate
Make a cd of your favorite music for listening to in the car
I have found that with working with various clients (especially mothers) that we have bought into this notion in our society that we cannot take time for ourselves or that somehow we are to do this solely on our own.
Nurturing You: Clipboard Project
As a busy mama – I’m sure the notion of “me time” either make you roll your eyes, burst into laughter…or tears?!! We mamas put our own needs on hold to meet the needs of everyone around us…and that can leave us burned out, frustrated and cranky!
I went to a parenting talk a year ago and what I came away with from it was this – if our ‘cup’ is empty (ie we are not filling ourselves up with the things we need to be happy), then we have nothing to spill out and give to those around us. We need to keep filling our own cup to be able to pour out into everyone else’s.
Since adding a third child to the mix, my cup has definitely been empty (more like a stone dry well actually!) and I keep going back to what I heard in the course…that I need to fill my cup. I need to carve out time for feeding my soul. This doesn’t need to be a huge amount of time on a weekly basis (that would be nice, but lets be realistic!), it could be a 10 minute meditation each day, it could be a long hot bubble bath once a week, it could be a monthly afternoon out with a friend. I love to be creative, and my natural high comes from making something out of nothing with my own two hands (and perhaps the help of a sewing machine!), so for me – I want to make time to pursue my creative fantasies (fixing holes in children’s pants does.not.count) – to do what I love for the sake of just doing it because I LOVE IT! Whether you love sewing, gardening, cooking, shopping…you know what feed your soul and I’m telling you – you need to make time for it!
To follow through with my wild notions of nurturing myself I need an actual plan to do this. I must choose and work to carve out the time – otherwise sneaky old regular life gets in the way of cup filling efforts. Luckily, my husband is on board with this plan (perhaps in the hopes I’ll become less cranky) – if you have small children at home all day every day then you need to enlist the support of someone to give you some alone time. Or, during school or nap times, wedge some cup-filling in there for you instead of cramming work/cleaning/cooking/washing into every free minute. Shiny happy mama = shiny happy family (you know it’s true)!
Most days I’m not even sure what day it is, so I’ve made a pretty little reminder clipboard for my nurturing plans. It’s propped up against my mirror where I’ll see it every day, and I can make a date/plans with myself on a slip of paper and keep it on the board for that week. Each week I will find the time to do one nice thing with myself – and once done I can switch the paper out with my following weeks plan. You can make one too! Yeah! Lets make 2011 the year where our cups are full, our families enjoy the splashings and we truly love and care for ourselves…wishing you all good things for this new year!
Emily
Nurture time reminder clipboard
Supplies:
Mini clipboard (office supply stores carry these)
Acrylic paint & foam brush
Paper (think scrapbook, gift-wrap, hand-made, magazine pages)
Mod podge/gel medium (or any white glue)
Ribbon or lace
Stickers, tags, fun things to embellish with.
Steps:
Cover all or part of the clipboard with your papers. You can make a collage of papers, or use one special piece. Paint the glue onto the clipboard to stick the paper down on, and then coat the paper in another layer of your glue.
Once the paper is dry, paint the remaining portion of the clipboard with 2-3 layers of acrylic paint (I simply lifted the metal clip to paint underneath it).
Add a strip of ribbon or lace using the glue.
Choose a word such as ‘nurture’, ‘nourish’, ‘breathe’, ‘my time’ to serve as a reminder to yourself!
Decorate the clipboard with any stickers or other fun things to make it your happy place.
*on the back of the clipboard I glued a library pocket to hold ‘ideas’ – then each week I can choose an idea from the pocket, and add to it as I feel inspired.
Some simple and (mostly!) inexpensive nurturing ideas:
Have a bubble bath
Read a magazine in bed
Take a solo trip to the library
Play with some watercolour paints
Visit a garden
Treat yourself to a nutritious meal at a favorite cafe
Download a meditation online, lay down and relaxxxx
Lay outside on a blanket and watch the clouds
Attend a class that you’ve always been meaning to try
Write a list of things you are grateful for
Receive a massage
Doodle with crayons
Sit in a park and people watch
Visit a museum or art gallery
Go for an indoor swim
Read a chapter of a book
Plan a girls night with some friends – organize and send invites
Have a home facial
Go for a walk and take photos of things you see
Take a self portrait
Create a visual soul collage from magazine pictures
Organize your wardrobe
Burn oils and listen to music
Write a card/letter to a friend
Plant something in your garden or in a pot
Phone your best friend for a chat
Write some goals in your journal
Try a new recipe
Set your timer for half an hour of crafty time
Give yourself a hand massage & manicure
Take yourself out for coffee/hot chocolate
Make a cd of your favorite music for listening to in the car
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
So Tired...
I am soo tired. It never fails, I can get up at 4:30am on Monday morning and swim, do an entire full day at the hospital and go to bed at a decent time....then get up at 5:30am Tuesday to run a 5 or 7 mile run and feel awesome + do a weight lifting class close after. And then Tuesday evening comes and I'm exhausted. It's 8:45pm and I will be going to bed very soon. At least I remember the "high" and great feeling after the morning run. It just gets hard by the time 4:00-6:00pm comes around. Alas, not complaining - "just sayin'". :) But it's worth it.
Flex all-sport ear buds review and giveaway
YEP a giveaway that looks really great to me! Plus I had to swipe Mark's earplugs b/c mine had the lining taken off with wear and now they suck into my ears after a few miles.
Flex all-sport ear buds review and giveaway - from this BLOG.
I don't like to gush about products that I'm asked to review--might not seem authentic, you know? But here's a product I need to gush about. It's Flex all-sport ear buds by H2OAudio. What makes these ear buds so cool? Well let me explain:
*They're waterproof to 3 feet (in case you fall into a nearby lake)
*They're sweatproof
*They come in a wide variety of colors
*They come with three pairs of silicone earplugs in small, medium and large so that you can customize the fit
*They're made so that you can use them, rinse them off, and repeat--no more sweaty ear buds!
*They don't fall out when in use
I tried them while on the bike trainer and loved the comfortable fit and sound quality. Even more, I loved that I could take them off and rinse them off when I finished. Since I can't run, I recruited this guy to try them out on the treadmill. He didn't love the power pink color, but he did like the performance--they never fell out or became loose while he ran. So a big thumb's up.
Now H2OAudio wants me to share the wealth. They've given me one pair of black headphones to giveaway (see, I picked black to appeal to both genders!).
For the giveaway:
1) Be a MissZippy follower or become one and let me know (required)
2) Like H2OAudio on Facebook (required)
3) Bonus--Post this giveaway on your blog, Facebook, or tweet about it.
Contest ends March 15 when I pick a winner through Random.org. Good luck!
Flex all-sport ear buds review and giveaway - from this BLOG.
I don't like to gush about products that I'm asked to review--might not seem authentic, you know? But here's a product I need to gush about. It's Flex all-sport ear buds by H2OAudio. What makes these ear buds so cool? Well let me explain:
*They're waterproof to 3 feet (in case you fall into a nearby lake)
*They're sweatproof
*They come in a wide variety of colors
*They come with three pairs of silicone earplugs in small, medium and large so that you can customize the fit
*They're made so that you can use them, rinse them off, and repeat--no more sweaty ear buds!
*They don't fall out when in use
I tried them while on the bike trainer and loved the comfortable fit and sound quality. Even more, I loved that I could take them off and rinse them off when I finished. Since I can't run, I recruited this guy to try them out on the treadmill. He didn't love the power pink color, but he did like the performance--they never fell out or became loose while he ran. So a big thumb's up.
Now H2OAudio wants me to share the wealth. They've given me one pair of black headphones to giveaway (see, I picked black to appeal to both genders!).
For the giveaway:
1) Be a MissZippy follower or become one and let me know (required)
2) Like H2OAudio on Facebook (required)
3) Bonus--Post this giveaway on your blog, Facebook, or tweet about it.
Contest ends March 15 when I pick a winner through Random.org. Good luck!
Monday, March 7, 2011
20 miler...
This day was pure loveliness...really it was. It was about 50 degrees when I left to go on my run which I knew would be something to talk about. Right when I stepped onto my first mile I kept thinking "ok when is this knee pain going to hit". It had been aching all morning and was aching right before I stepped out. Well the knee pain never came...it NEVER came and this 20-miler I was doing it by myself. I talked to God once again the entire time whether about my own fears - giving them to Him, prayers for friends and Mark, discussing various situations and clients.
It felt soo warm even with a pretty good wind. I looked down at one point and saw my legs...bright read...from wind burn but it didn't matter. I was on a mission. Below is the route I took. It was a new route for me that I had never done and I tried to keep it as flat as possible with some hills here and there. I ended up taking a short break to go to the restroom at mile 13 and then did a quick text to Mark to let him know where I was and that I was running to the church for my last 7. He encouraged me and it meant the world to me.
I kept going and it was a sight to see myself breaking through those last couple of miles. I was drained and my legs were tired...very, very tired. But I was so happy to run in shorts that I didn't care one bit and I finished! I finished running up the gravel side of the road to the church with Mark coming out the doors clapping, whistling and haulering for me. What support! I felt like a million bucks and like I had just won the Boston Marathon or something :)
It felt soo warm even with a pretty good wind. I looked down at one point and saw my legs...bright read...from wind burn but it didn't matter. I was on a mission. Below is the route I took. It was a new route for me that I had never done and I tried to keep it as flat as possible with some hills here and there. I ended up taking a short break to go to the restroom at mile 13 and then did a quick text to Mark to let him know where I was and that I was running to the church for my last 7. He encouraged me and it meant the world to me.
I kept going and it was a sight to see myself breaking through those last couple of miles. I was drained and my legs were tired...very, very tired. But I was so happy to run in shorts that I didn't care one bit and I finished! I finished running up the gravel side of the road to the church with Mark coming out the doors clapping, whistling and haulering for me. What support! I felt like a million bucks and like I had just won the Boston Marathon or something :)
To Be Written Posts
Those posts that need to be written:
* Ian's bargaining skills
* most recent 20-miles ran last Thursday
* impromptu Ohio trip to grandparents & Ian
* what it means to "guard your heart", Proverbs 4:23 for those couples struggling
* change in counseling room (owning how it [this counseling adventure] is really not my own including the space I work in)
* upcoming Crop & potential projects
* Ian's bargaining skills
* most recent 20-miles ran last Thursday
* impromptu Ohio trip to grandparents & Ian
* what it means to "guard your heart", Proverbs 4:23 for those couples struggling
* change in counseling room (owning how it [this counseling adventure] is really not my own including the space I work in)
* upcoming Crop & potential projects
Saturday, February 26, 2011
KAMFT Conference: The Basics and Beyond for Treating Today's Sexual Issues
Each workshop I went to was chalk full of interesting new research and information about sexual issues that couples and families encounter in this day and age, including the medical factors, differing sexual desires in a couple and the basics of sexual addiction with treatment process for couples and families.
In the Thursday morning workshop: Understanding the Medical Factors Behind Couple’s Sexual Problems (by Jean D. Koehler, PhD, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, Therapist and Supervisor, Asst. Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of Louisville Medical School), common medical causes were discussed along with treatments of sexual dysfunction, making referrals, and opportunities for further training. I was quite pleased to find that with working in a hospital PRN I had picked up enough terminology and medical language that I could understand most of the terms and surgical procedures that were presented. She discussed a lot about the effects of such procedures on a couple's sex life & the impact on their own differing desires). It was interesting to learn more about the impact of "free" testosterone (definition & amounts) in the human body and how this hormone impacts the regulation of sexual desire and arousal. I'd have to review my notes but most interesting to me was the effect after some cancer treatments. I would definitely like to look more into this subject to better understand how patient are being educated on how medical procedures may impact their marital relationships. I think men and women should be equipped with this information.
The Thursday afternoon workshop: Resolving Desire Differences by Jean A. Campbell, LMFT. Jean blended solution-focused techniques with a holistic approach of David Schnarch to help us as therapists to guide our clients out of toxic sexual interactions stemming from desire differences. Again I would need to revisit my notes on this but found that I agreed a lot with the emphasis on differentiation and how ultimately part of work may be in helping a spouse or both spouses to understand that their partner does not fully "complete" you and that the problem does not all lie in that other person's plate. Acknowledging and owning your own stuff and what you are yearning or desiring for that other person is your "stuff" and not theirs. It is your expectation and although you desire to be completely safe with that person...other things and desires get in the way and this is a lot of misinterpretation and miscommunication. (I may scan my notes here if I think about it - a lot to think about on this one). But I do see this one a lot in counseling.
Thursday late afternoon, evening was: The Ethics Behind Working With Sexually Related Issues by Stefanie Carnes, PhD. Although I was completely exhausted this provided an opportunity to learn what Federal Guidelines there are for reporting and working with someone possibly struggling viewing child pornography or other illegal actions of a sexual nature. She provided various role plays for us as therapist to do with our "clients" (our colleagues) and it helped to take out the shock value of such discoveries. It was good for me to talk through as a therapist b/c often times you don't know what issues may really be occurring with this person in front of you and they are only telling you one piece of information at a time. There for differing views in the room pertaining to the reporting aspect of this subject which honestly was nice to see since I was struggling with what I would do in certain circumstances.
All day Friday was Stefanie Carnes again with: the Basics and Beyond for Treating Today's Sexual Issues. I was pretty exhausted from the day before with just a lot of useful information. This workshop provided me with guidelines of how to navigate the minefield of family therapy for sexual addiction. There was a lengthy discussion about the criteria for sexual addiction (what it is and how we clarify it which was very interesting. She gave us an assessment tool that appeared to be very helpful. The hard part for me is when I began to gain a better understanding of the computer pornography industry and its impact on individuals, youth, and families. We were given demonstrations on particular iPhone Apps and it revealed an even darker side of this world than I am used to. Don't get me wrong I know it's there...but I do not participate in it nor do I research it myself to better understand a client's frame of mind. (For me that is too dangerous and I am wired in such a way that potentially exploring such things is not beneficial at all). So to say the least this was disturbing and very hard for me to sit through. Plus my paranoia began to work, but luckily God is so good helped me to see that His grace is enough and trusting in Him and His plan is ultimately the best way to think about and understand such behavior in our world. This understanding helps me to better relate with those close to me and not to distrust or be suspicious of things going on.
She utilized art therapy to show how spouses experienced the betrayal and how the client also felt their experience of the addiction (such shame & darkness). The impact on the family was heart-wrenching. Difficult therapeutic situations were presented and these are regular everyday people...we all fall but WOW these people fall the hardest I do believe regardless of their pasts that brought them to this desperate place of using sex or pornography to numb, to gradify, and to escape.
Towards the end we were facilitating the couple disclosure process and lastly appropriate interventions for children (of most interest to me) along with receiving resources for treatment of sexual addiction. I am a resource person because I am a generalist in where I do therapy and how I have to do therapy in a small town. My supervisor is priceless to me and invaluable.
Future: So looking to the future I began jotting down ideas for a workshop to do covering How to Help & Protect your Children to Develop a Health Sexuality. There are a lot of resources for helping parents to protect their children from online predators but the discussion for developing a health sexuality is not as prevalent. Below are a few links I am currently reading and may utilize some of their information for my own workshop.
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality: Focus on the Family
Resources for Healthy Sexuality: The Penners
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality: How to Start Early by Ron Jackson
Healthy Sexuality Development
In the Thursday morning workshop: Understanding the Medical Factors Behind Couple’s Sexual Problems (by Jean D. Koehler, PhD, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, Therapist and Supervisor, Asst. Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of Louisville Medical School), common medical causes were discussed along with treatments of sexual dysfunction, making referrals, and opportunities for further training. I was quite pleased to find that with working in a hospital PRN I had picked up enough terminology and medical language that I could understand most of the terms and surgical procedures that were presented. She discussed a lot about the effects of such procedures on a couple's sex life & the impact on their own differing desires). It was interesting to learn more about the impact of "free" testosterone (definition & amounts) in the human body and how this hormone impacts the regulation of sexual desire and arousal. I'd have to review my notes but most interesting to me was the effect after some cancer treatments. I would definitely like to look more into this subject to better understand how patient are being educated on how medical procedures may impact their marital relationships. I think men and women should be equipped with this information.
The Thursday afternoon workshop: Resolving Desire Differences by Jean A. Campbell, LMFT. Jean blended solution-focused techniques with a holistic approach of David Schnarch to help us as therapists to guide our clients out of toxic sexual interactions stemming from desire differences. Again I would need to revisit my notes on this but found that I agreed a lot with the emphasis on differentiation and how ultimately part of work may be in helping a spouse or both spouses to understand that their partner does not fully "complete" you and that the problem does not all lie in that other person's plate. Acknowledging and owning your own stuff and what you are yearning or desiring for that other person is your "stuff" and not theirs. It is your expectation and although you desire to be completely safe with that person...other things and desires get in the way and this is a lot of misinterpretation and miscommunication. (I may scan my notes here if I think about it - a lot to think about on this one). But I do see this one a lot in counseling.
Thursday late afternoon, evening was: The Ethics Behind Working With Sexually Related Issues by Stefanie Carnes, PhD. Although I was completely exhausted this provided an opportunity to learn what Federal Guidelines there are for reporting and working with someone possibly struggling viewing child pornography or other illegal actions of a sexual nature. She provided various role plays for us as therapist to do with our "clients" (our colleagues) and it helped to take out the shock value of such discoveries. It was good for me to talk through as a therapist b/c often times you don't know what issues may really be occurring with this person in front of you and they are only telling you one piece of information at a time. There for differing views in the room pertaining to the reporting aspect of this subject which honestly was nice to see since I was struggling with what I would do in certain circumstances.
All day Friday was Stefanie Carnes again with: the Basics and Beyond for Treating Today's Sexual Issues. I was pretty exhausted from the day before with just a lot of useful information. This workshop provided me with guidelines of how to navigate the minefield of family therapy for sexual addiction. There was a lengthy discussion about the criteria for sexual addiction (what it is and how we clarify it which was very interesting. She gave us an assessment tool that appeared to be very helpful. The hard part for me is when I began to gain a better understanding of the computer pornography industry and its impact on individuals, youth, and families. We were given demonstrations on particular iPhone Apps and it revealed an even darker side of this world than I am used to. Don't get me wrong I know it's there...but I do not participate in it nor do I research it myself to better understand a client's frame of mind. (For me that is too dangerous and I am wired in such a way that potentially exploring such things is not beneficial at all). So to say the least this was disturbing and very hard for me to sit through. Plus my paranoia began to work, but luckily God is so good helped me to see that His grace is enough and trusting in Him and His plan is ultimately the best way to think about and understand such behavior in our world. This understanding helps me to better relate with those close to me and not to distrust or be suspicious of things going on.
She utilized art therapy to show how spouses experienced the betrayal and how the client also felt their experience of the addiction (such shame & darkness). The impact on the family was heart-wrenching. Difficult therapeutic situations were presented and these are regular everyday people...we all fall but WOW these people fall the hardest I do believe regardless of their pasts that brought them to this desperate place of using sex or pornography to numb, to gradify, and to escape.
Towards the end we were facilitating the couple disclosure process and lastly appropriate interventions for children (of most interest to me) along with receiving resources for treatment of sexual addiction. I am a resource person because I am a generalist in where I do therapy and how I have to do therapy in a small town. My supervisor is priceless to me and invaluable.
Future: So looking to the future I began jotting down ideas for a workshop to do covering How to Help & Protect your Children to Develop a Health Sexuality. There are a lot of resources for helping parents to protect their children from online predators but the discussion for developing a health sexuality is not as prevalent. Below are a few links I am currently reading and may utilize some of their information for my own workshop.
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality: Focus on the Family
Resources for Healthy Sexuality: The Penners
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality: How to Start Early by Ron Jackson
Healthy Sexuality Development
20 miles...knee...outloud
This 20 mile run was unique in itself. Stacy was with me for the first 11-12 miles and wow the first 10 miles flew by! It was great just talking about anything and everything but for me also processing the conference I was at this past Thursday & Friday (more on that later).
Once Stacy and I split I found myself running the next 2-3 miles at 8:30-9:00 minute pace which is fast and too fast for the middle of a long training run; thus knee pain hit me like a brick wall around miles 14-15. It was painful so I slowed down and then realized that this knee pain may also be connected to how I allow oxygen to come into my body (a.k.a. talking outloud might help). But more importantly I felt God saying..."turn the music off and talk to me about what is on your mind." I had noticed that when running with Stacy and talking that my knee pain doesn't show up and more importantly the time went by faster so I decided to try it and ended up praying outloud with my Lord for the rest of the run (over an hour and half).
It was the most calming thing I think I have ever done running. I had to slow down and I had to face some of my thoughts while more importantly praising Him and praying for others. I also ended up going a slightly different route to add on miles and found myself completely by myself in the middle of not much. God was calling me to Him and I finally got it. I prayed for Mark in more ways than I have before and found peace knowing that by the end of this run, God knew my fears in a way that I had not expressed before, He knew my joys and hopes for Mark and He & I knew where I stand with Ian and motherhood.
The conversation defined a lot for me and at one point I just stopped talking and started listening. Of course my mind kept wanting to tell me TALK so your knee won't hurt but I went in and out and listened. The song, "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path" kept going through my mind. I even sang at one point -- RUNNING!
Moral of this story...stop and take time to listen and to speak outloud to God even when you are moving. It made all the difference and wouldn't you know...my knee pain went away almost instantaneously! I laughed, God you're so funny.
The conversation brought new meaning to running and to putting Christ first. What a revelation to me.
Once Stacy and I split I found myself running the next 2-3 miles at 8:30-9:00 minute pace which is fast and too fast for the middle of a long training run; thus knee pain hit me like a brick wall around miles 14-15. It was painful so I slowed down and then realized that this knee pain may also be connected to how I allow oxygen to come into my body (a.k.a. talking outloud might help). But more importantly I felt God saying..."turn the music off and talk to me about what is on your mind." I had noticed that when running with Stacy and talking that my knee pain doesn't show up and more importantly the time went by faster so I decided to try it and ended up praying outloud with my Lord for the rest of the run (over an hour and half).
And no this photo is not me. It is to symbolize what it was like running alone, just the sound of my feet on the pavement and my heart in a conversation with God.
It was the most calming thing I think I have ever done running. I had to slow down and I had to face some of my thoughts while more importantly praising Him and praying for others. I also ended up going a slightly different route to add on miles and found myself completely by myself in the middle of not much. God was calling me to Him and I finally got it. I prayed for Mark in more ways than I have before and found peace knowing that by the end of this run, God knew my fears in a way that I had not expressed before, He knew my joys and hopes for Mark and He & I knew where I stand with Ian and motherhood.
The conversation defined a lot for me and at one point I just stopped talking and started listening. Of course my mind kept wanting to tell me TALK so your knee won't hurt but I went in and out and listened. The song, "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path" kept going through my mind. I even sang at one point -- RUNNING!
Moral of this story...stop and take time to listen and to speak outloud to God even when you are moving. It made all the difference and wouldn't you know...my knee pain went away almost instantaneously! I laughed, God you're so funny.
The conversation brought new meaning to running and to putting Christ first. What a revelation to me.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Morning Run
This morning I tore myself out of bed - yes tore. The sheets could barely come off of me as I thought about a) sleep, b) everything that awaited me at the hospital, & c) what I would feel like if I ran or if I didn't run. I opted to run.
As I began thinking, "hmm...maybe just 4 miles" I geared up to get in my rhythm and gradually I began to think...about EVERYTHING. Here are some various thoughts that i zoned out with:
* projects for Crop for Kicks with Candy
- Christmas card squares-all years
- Ian's pages (some important ones)
- "past" pictures & stories
* clients...
- various couples & their directions
- upcoming conference
- my point-of-view, God's point-of-view & their point-of-view
* plans for this weekend (20-miler, Mark's sermon, on-call)
* laundry needs
* how fast or slow to go on this run
* most importantly: how to move to obedience when tempted to fall
- yes a loaded thought but I pictured myself in a moment when I would & have felt overwhelmed to overeat or to overindulge in items that are not good for my mind or my body
- analyzed my motives & my methods
- humbled myself before God to be lifted up with His strength & not my own
- thought about conversations with clients about overcoming & conquering
PS - I ended up running 5 miles :) I love how thoughts just take you places. The extra energy helped me kick my day off and He was first in my thoughts.
As I began thinking, "hmm...maybe just 4 miles" I geared up to get in my rhythm and gradually I began to think...about EVERYTHING. Here are some various thoughts that i zoned out with:
* projects for Crop for Kicks with Candy
- Christmas card squares-all years
- Ian's pages (some important ones)
- "past" pictures & stories
* clients...
- various couples & their directions
- upcoming conference
- my point-of-view, God's point-of-view & their point-of-view
* plans for this weekend (20-miler, Mark's sermon, on-call)
* laundry needs
* how fast or slow to go on this run
* most importantly: how to move to obedience when tempted to fall
- yes a loaded thought but I pictured myself in a moment when I would & have felt overwhelmed to overeat or to overindulge in items that are not good for my mind or my body
- analyzed my motives & my methods
- humbled myself before God to be lifted up with His strength & not my own
- thought about conversations with clients about overcoming & conquering
PS - I ended up running 5 miles :) I love how thoughts just take you places. The extra energy helped me kick my day off and He was first in my thoughts.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
CCJ Oasis: Staying in Love
Is it possible for two people to fall in love and actually stay there? Absolutely! During our Oasis time on Sunday nights we are doing this four-session video group study on making the most of your marriage with pastor & author Andy Stanley.
If you are unable to meet with us or have missed a group session, catch-up below & download the discussion questions. We'd love to have you in our actual group session - plus you get to connect with other couples who are working to "make it" in our marriage relationships.
If you are unable to meet with us or have missed a group session, catch-up below & download the discussion questions. We'd love to have you in our actual group session - plus you get to connect with other couples who are working to "make it" in our marriage relationships.
Sunday, February 27th is scheduled as a Guided DATE NIGHT for couples to do to make Love a Verb - each couple individually goes out on their own date night.
February 13th - The Juno Dilemma
February 20th - Re-Modeling
February 27th - Guided DATE NIGHT: MarriedLife (WE Marriage) PDF
March 6th - Feelin' It
March 13th - Multiple-Choice Marriage
Saturday, February 19, 2011
18 miles...
In keeping with my resolve, I did my training run today out of trust in God (for my knee pain) and knowing that it would RESET me (since it is my RESET button), and because I knew a friend and coworker would be helping me out with the last half or so.
It was amazing! It was a little rough as I wined up and down some of the initial neighborhoods around 6am just to get some extra mileage around the Jasper HS area and then went around one neighborhood (Poplar St) like 3 times to get myself to 3-4 miles before doing the longer stretch on St. Charles St. to the middle and beyond.
When doing long runs you have to take the run in segments (especially mentally) or it gets super intimidating and down right depression sometimes. I wore my mask this morning (it was 33-35 degrees) and I can't stand breathing in cold air. I was in awe at the full moon practically right in front of me most of the time and then as I watched the sun rise (pretty spectacular). I noticed a house that is like a barn in one of the neighborhoods - never saw that before. Adam, a friend came rushing by a couple of times in shorts & with a football jersey as his outer wear (crazy!).
I did waters/powerade stops & GU's and by the time mile 9 was coming up...my knee began hurting and I trusted in God. Knowing that if I couldn't finish the long run that somehow it would be ok and that I would simply go slower this next mile until I got to the house to refuel and to "pick up" with Stacy.
So we began mile 10 and the knee pain was still there but as we spoke (which I found came pretty easy once my breathing was back in rhythm) the pain quietly disappeared...and I found myself wanting to go faster, in fact going faster and conversing! I forgot what that was like since I am a solo runner usually. It was awesome! We ran from 13th-15th, on the Riverwalk, Clay to Division to Sunshine to 5th to Kluemper to 2nd through some neighborhoods. So the last 8 miles was full of conversation, stories, background discussion and just enjoying one another's company and the blessings God has given to both of us. She runs ultras...yes ultras - ya know the crazy people who do 50+ miles!!!
But it was lovely, and made to realize how I am not to go this journey alone. I am ultimately responsible for my own motivation but we are to live in community - both in our spiritual walks and in our physical endeavors. I learned a good lesson and was truly, truly blessed. Thanks Stacy!
It was amazing! It was a little rough as I wined up and down some of the initial neighborhoods around 6am just to get some extra mileage around the Jasper HS area and then went around one neighborhood (Poplar St) like 3 times to get myself to 3-4 miles before doing the longer stretch on St. Charles St. to the middle and beyond.
When doing long runs you have to take the run in segments (especially mentally) or it gets super intimidating and down right depression sometimes. I wore my mask this morning (it was 33-35 degrees) and I can't stand breathing in cold air. I was in awe at the full moon practically right in front of me most of the time and then as I watched the sun rise (pretty spectacular). I noticed a house that is like a barn in one of the neighborhoods - never saw that before. Adam, a friend came rushing by a couple of times in shorts & with a football jersey as his outer wear (crazy!).
I did waters/powerade stops & GU's and by the time mile 9 was coming up...my knee began hurting and I trusted in God. Knowing that if I couldn't finish the long run that somehow it would be ok and that I would simply go slower this next mile until I got to the house to refuel and to "pick up" with Stacy.
So we began mile 10 and the knee pain was still there but as we spoke (which I found came pretty easy once my breathing was back in rhythm) the pain quietly disappeared...and I found myself wanting to go faster, in fact going faster and conversing! I forgot what that was like since I am a solo runner usually. It was awesome! We ran from 13th-15th, on the Riverwalk, Clay to Division to Sunshine to 5th to Kluemper to 2nd through some neighborhoods. So the last 8 miles was full of conversation, stories, background discussion and just enjoying one another's company and the blessings God has given to both of us. She runs ultras...yes ultras - ya know the crazy people who do 50+ miles!!!
But it was lovely, and made to realize how I am not to go this journey alone. I am ultimately responsible for my own motivation but we are to live in community - both in our spiritual walks and in our physical endeavors. I learned a good lesson and was truly, truly blessed. Thanks Stacy!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Keeping the Resolve...
I'm in the middle of this marathon training and I must say...I'm losing some of my mojo and motivation for running and training. It may sound weird but as the weather gets warmer...I'm not wanting to run as much. It was almost easier to tell myself to push through the cold (teens, 20s, 30s) and snow rather than sitting at home or in bed.
But as it becomes warmer, my mindset is changing. It is kind of disappointing to me. It also could be the pain in my knee that has developed. It makes me think...maybe my focus is off, maybe I'm doing too much of this for me and not enough for God. Is this a selfish goal? Is it more satisfying than my relationship with God? Do I need to tone back and focus more on what He wants me to do? Is running part of it?
Yes, I'm thinking to much but it's part of how I am wired. I am wired to be aware of my relationship with God, to be aware of how my body feels and functions, the be aware of my thoughts (positive and negative and meaningful), and I am aware of how my routine affects my family and my ministry. I'm wired to be aware.
So I'm trying to keep my resolve...to break through pain without neglecting my body and not being wise. I'm hoping and praying to continue to run for this marathon but also to tone back and to consider what other things God desires me to think about and to do. Keeping my resolve, intending on continuing, knowing God is with me and hoping perseverence and consistency will be rewarded.
But as it becomes warmer, my mindset is changing. It is kind of disappointing to me. It also could be the pain in my knee that has developed. It makes me think...maybe my focus is off, maybe I'm doing too much of this for me and not enough for God. Is this a selfish goal? Is it more satisfying than my relationship with God? Do I need to tone back and focus more on what He wants me to do? Is running part of it?
Yes, I'm thinking to much but it's part of how I am wired. I am wired to be aware of my relationship with God, to be aware of how my body feels and functions, the be aware of my thoughts (positive and negative and meaningful), and I am aware of how my routine affects my family and my ministry. I'm wired to be aware.
So I'm trying to keep my resolve...to break through pain without neglecting my body and not being wise. I'm hoping and praying to continue to run for this marathon but also to tone back and to consider what other things God desires me to think about and to do. Keeping my resolve, intending on continuing, knowing God is with me and hoping perseverence and consistency will be rewarded.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
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