When Health is not Optimal

 I have been experiencing GI issues since March and it all began with a change in nutrition. Since that time I have tried several different methods to improve these issues, but it has been difficult with the transitions of moving to a new house in a new neighborhood. This move felt like a "death by paper-cuts" due to all the tedious tasks that needed one, differing expectations of how the move was going to go by my husband and I and overall, being at the mercy of things not in my control.

Navigating the usually daily tasks began to feel overwhelming and also trying to help our kids and especially our dogs to be set up for success in our new environment was challenging.

There is always grief in a move even for really good reasons and this time has been no different. Memories pop up and reflections about simpler times or how we got through trying times as a family in our old house. Even the dreaming phase in the new house takes mental energy. It is exhausting, exhilarating and excruciating for what seems like simultaneously. 

I'm Anxious About...

BRAIN DUMP! 

I'm anxious about:

* buying or finding a new to us dining room table and chairs (I know what I want) but it either takes 4-6 weeks to be delivered to us or I have to coordinate a trip to go pick up said table and upholstered chairs

* my body (she isn't how she used to be and I don't have the motivation to even take one extra step than my normal right now) -- more importantly my pelvic structure has changed and shifted so my digestive system is working different --> need to go to the doctor's

* my job (I'm tired of pursuing and creatively outreaching my clients...I care, I do, but the effort that I feel like I'm putting in has surpassed the effort I feel like they have - they often don't have the capacity to maintain our scheduled appointments and I'm worn with rescheduling and having to change my own schedule to accommodate)

* my house (all the little things out of place or undone) - we moved in early April, I know it will be a "work in progress" but can it be done, or at least one entire room be done?!

* how much caffeine I want to consume (I just want liquid energy these days)

* my skin (from blemishes to scars to imperfections and dark spots but primarily scabs-it doesn't bounce back, it indents and although it protects my organs and veins, it just looks and feels rough and spotty)

* my soul (it feels worn and flimsy - like the spiritual muscles are not firing with faith and intention like they used to do so)

* our dogs (Katie is 8 and getting older and she is our loyal, territorial, sweet, cuddly, wise and most human dog), (Ivy is a follow the leader, lacks marbles in the brain and is the most loving and curious pup that loves zoomies), (Max...so cute, cuddly, yearning for love, escape artist who may end up killing another dog if he is triggered)

* our dogs barking...at anything (it's loud and mostly unexpected)

* lack of a morning routine (it's hard to get out of bed these days...I remember days in my 30's when although I didn't want to get up-I had such determination and intention that it was 3-2-1 and out of bed with no thinking and immediately getting into the routine of movement and caring for myself)

* my own excuses and complaining

* feeling paranoid about my surroundings at home and in the city with working (being a white, middle-aged, average to short height female)

* living on a corner - cars going by

* having to go to the bathroom for what seems like all the time

* becoming dehydrated (past experiences fuel this one)

* not using my gifts or experiences that God has given to me; however, shutting down is also not a good alternative